Vanderpump Rules Recap: “This Brief Stupid Moment in Our Lives”

Pump Rules Lisa

Contributing Writer

Let’s jump right in and talk about something I never noticed until tonight: the way LVP’s necklace is cradled perfectly in her ample bosom in the opening credits.   They didn’t get that in one take without gluing them in place, right?  I mean, I’ve never had breasts and have no plans to have them, but even Pinky’s boobs don’t have their own gravitation field into which small diamond objects are drawn, forever trapped and yet strangely content in their fate, correct?

Moving on…

Katie and Schwartz have a picnic to loudly declare their love to the world, talk about how they were too drunk to have sex after the engagement party, and receive a producer driven text from Stassi.  Stassi (I hate having to type that name. I want to live in a Post-Stassi world.) manages to be condescending AND patronizing in her text.  Katie says that it was nice of Stassi to congratulate them on the engagement, but she “doesn’t want anything to do with her (Stassi).”  This is clearly not the case, as Katie continually brings up Stassi’s name this episode, almost as if, I don’t know, she’s getting paid by production each time she says it.  Like Pavlov’s dogs:  Katie says Stassi and gets a treat, in her case, air time.

At SUR, LVP wants to see Katie’s ring and chastise Scheana for not getting her shift covered for the upcoming Hawaii trip.  Scheana stands off to the side and glowers as Katie basks in the love from Pinky, who is almost as happy for her as she was for Pandora, but not quite.  It’s very Lady Granthamy.
pump rules guys

Peter and Jax discuss the trip (remember it is ostensibly for Jax and Sandoval’s birthday, so they use this as leverage).  Jax is waiting for the right time to uninvite James, while Peter makes the case for a Kristen(!) free trip, as he is always waiting for her to explode.  As are we, Peter.  As are we.

Jax is having a pre-trip Birthday Lunch.  This is a Big Deal in SURverland.  Kristen is invited.  James is not.  Ariana is asked if she’s okay with this, and responds sarcastically.  Everyone gets it except Scheana, who doesn’t know how to react when she is not the center of the conversation.  So, of course, Scheana has a “talk” with Ariana, in which she tells Ariana she needs to get over this whole Kristen thing and that she (Scheana) does not understand sarcasm. Ariana has the temerity to tell Scheana that this is not ALL ABOUT HER and that Scheana needs to stop talking over her.  Scheana is losing the conversation, so she bolts.  Scheana calls Ariana a “bitchy Barbie,” while Ariana says that real friends wouldn’t keep throwing Kristen in her face.  Scheana runs to Katie and calls what Ariana did a “Stassi move,” since, as of this taping, everyone hates Stassi and this is the worst you can call anyone.  Scheana is also fighting a losing battle to keep both of her eyes on the front of her face – similarly to BackDoor TeenMom Farrah, she has had too much work done on her face and is slowly achieving what H.P. Lovecraft described as “The Innsmouth Look.”  Your homework for the evening is to look that up and get the joke.

Speaking of Stassi, she’s in town and LVP is not happy.  Stassi is not welcome at any of the VanderPump Establishments depriving her of the needed fried goat cheese balls to which she is addicted.  If Stassi sets foot on premise, she must immediately be routed to Pinky.  Do not pass Go.  Do not Collect $200.

James and Max sneak off to the alley to discuss the upcoming trip to which Max is invited and James is not.  Max says that James just needs to buy a ticket and show up.  James, however, has a Baldrickian Cunning Plan, involving Max, Lala, Faith, and Jax being a “dumb ass.”  He stops short of cackling as he describes it to the camera.  Jax in the end consents to James going, because…production and storyline.

Kristen comes over to look at the engagement ring and bemoan (her exact words were “fucking heartbroken”) the fact that she was not at the party (which, again, was done under the guise of it being her ex-boyfriend’s birthday party, but Kristen doesn’t understand why everyone just doesn’t get over it).  Kristen has been talking to Stassi. Kristen projects into the future and wishes everyone would just get along, calling it “this brief stupid time in our lives.”  I believe that was the original title for the show, and truer words have never been spoken.  Thank you for sharing this brief stupid time in your life with us.

LVP does not appreciate Lala being a pawn in the game of one upmanship (one cockmanship?) between James and Jax.  I, personally, think Lala would enjoy being the meat in that sandwich, although I believe it would end with her in the other room making an actual sandwich while the other two carried on just fine without her.  James douchely smokes and makes sex jokes with The Boss while trying to convince her to allow Max to go on the trip with James as his pussy sherpa.  LVP is aghast (theme!) and susses out the real reason James wants Max to go, but allows Max to go anyway.

Pump Rules Jax lala

Scheana, Faith, and Lala go bikini shopping.  Lala tries on heart shaped pasties.  Scheana does not approve, as focus is being pulled from her.  She announces that she’s bored and that she and Shay may renew their vows while on the trip, because nothing says “I’m just here to celebrate a friend’s birthday” like renewing your wedding vows.  Lala doesn’t care, as she is going there with the specific reason to troll for Polynesian dick, especially since she isn’t sexually attracted to James, and, beside, his penis is small.  You may think I have embellished this last paragraph.  I have not.  Commence with your “Lala’s vagina is so cavernous…” jokes now.

Jax and Kentucky Brittany prepare for the trip.  Jax lies to Brittany about being in to Lala (Production was great here.  He says “I’m not into her,” and they cut to a blue tinged flashback of him saying to Lala “I’m so into you.” Yay Production!).  Brittany says she’s going to have to talk to Lala.  We are treated to an amazing moment of Jax holding his head in his hands while trying to figure out his next lie…

Jax’s Birthday Lunch: Everyone is there, except James, Faith, and Lala.  The big news, told by Scheana, is that Max is not going on the trip, as the other night he began to feel light headed and smashed his head into a wooden TV cabinet, causing some severe damage to his mouth.  Scheana says that Max is on some goods meds, following this with a look at her RECOVERING ADDICT husband and the quip “Don’t Ask For Any!” Production again wins points for NOT editing out the amazing awkward silence that follows this, as it sinks in on everyone that Scheana has again not only made it all about her, but publicly verbally castrated her husband in the process.  Ariana’s look clearly says “..and they’re saying I’M the bitchy one?”  Scheana continues with the story, saying that this is exactly what happened to her, and how much it hurt her when it happened to her, and that she was in so much pain for so long when it happened to her.  Max is forgotten in the course of the story.

gif: T.Kyle RealityTVGifs

gif: T.Kyle RealityTVGifs

Katie says that it was so sad the way James asked to come on the trip, and that its so humiliating having to ask to be included, forgetting for a moment that Kristen was there and was not invited on the trip.  Scheana, clearly seeing the conversation is straying too far away from the desired topic -her-says that Lala told him James has a small dick. Kristen cries in her talking head while talking about James’s penis.   Really.  Jax highfives Schwartz, saying that Lala sure is hot and ready to go for HIS big dick, forgetting Kentucky Brittany is sitting next to him. She is not pleased.

Sandoval goes to the alley – which looks EXACTLY like the alley behind SUR, leading me to believe there is only one alley set – and Kristen follows, to conduct what Ariana has dubbed “Kristen’s Apology Tour 2015.”  Kristen, giving the fans exactly what we want, gives an almost verbatim rendition of Glenn Closes’s Fatal Attraction speech, repeating “I’m not going anywhere.”  She’s partially right.  She’s not going to Hawaii, that’s for sure.  We are treated to blue tinged flashbacks of Kristen’s Greatest Hits.

While THIS is going on, Scheana pulls Ariana aside for a conversation. Katie tagged along, for funsies.

Scheana claims that Ariana’s Mom called Scheana to discuss Ariana’s change of personality and to discuss whether Sandoval is a good boyfriend to her.  Ariana says in her talking heads that her mother would 1) not call Scheana and 2) wouldn’t use those words and 3) fuck them, It’s On!  She says that Scheana and Katie look like “ex best friends” and “assholes.”  Katie throws in that she doesn’t want to use the S-word (Stassi) and that she judges people’s “integrity and character” by their ability to forgive and forget, which is easily accomplished for Katie, who has the memory span of a goldfish.  Ariana talking heads that it is because of her “integrity and character” that she was never friends with Kristen in the first place (good point, actually) and is regretting the upcoming trip.

James, Lala, and Faith go to visit a clearly doped up Max.  LVP and Ken call to check in.  After the call they go down to the pool, Lala and Faith get topless and start making out, and James starts taking pictures, all the while saying that this is “so naughty” and he can’t believe he’s doing this in the boss’s pool.  Poor Max looks on, the realization that he is being used slowly dawning on him.

We cut to the next day at the airport.  Everyone, including Max, is there, with the exception of Kristen.  Max is on antibiotics and CAN NOT DRINK, so, of course Scheana says that “if you’re going to drink, don’t do it in front of me,” and that maybe it’d be okay if he drank but just a little.

On a wonderfully ironic note (thanks production), we end on Jax musing that he doesn’t want James there and that it wouldn’t be so bad if James ended up in Hawaiian jail.

Coming up: Hijinks.  VPR Bingo Next Week!  Shay gets drunk.  Tom and Ariana adult themselves away from the group, Schwartz and Katie fight, Jax goes to jail, and Stassi slithers back into town – since all the highlights show her in the same outfit, I’m hoping it’s only for part of one episode.

Don’t forget to follow Xanadude on Twitter!


Filed under Entertainment News, Vanderpump Rules

66 responses to “Vanderpump Rules Recap: “This Brief Stupid Moment in Our Lives”

  1. Bridgett

    Xanadude…I love your VPR recaps!! I also enjoy that you usually include a reference that I have to, stop reading, look-up and then return

  2. eastjames

    Are the Toms channeling an androgynous Bowie look in the pic above or am I projecting because he’s all I can think about right now? Piqued my curiosity with the Lovecraft reference. My favorite comedian Patton Oswalt talks about him quite a bit so I’m going to have to read some of his stuff. Great recap! Thanks!

  3. Deby Robertson

    I hate to be negative since my NY resolution is to try no negativity, but I’m really beginning to not like Arianna. Has she forgotten that Kristen was eight & she actually was messing around with Sandavol while he was still with Kristen, or is my memory incorrect? BTW, I agree with the others, your recaps are excellent! Live THIS BLOG!!!!!!!

    • therealdeb

      I don’t think that was ever actually confirmed aside fromt he fact that they had been good friends for years. There is also the fact that Kristen screwed Jax how many times, in her and Tom’s apartment with him asleep in the next room. I don’t think she is a bitch so much as she is not in the same mindset as the others. Ariana seems to be a little more bohemianish and the rest are all wanna be stars who are almost past their prime and still haven’t struck it big.

      • sherry

        therealdeb, I agree! I just think she is so different from them. She doesn’t really fit into this show, but I really like having a semi-normal person. The problem is, people want Kristen around because of her crazy…its entertaining. So that makes Arianna a stick in the mud. But I like having her around.

    • therealdeb

      What I really want to know is are Brittany and Lala stupid, have they never seen this show, do they not know Jax lies about everything he can? Yes Lala acts the hootch, but Jax is no better at all. And the shots of James int he pool, seriously… he is a stick boy. I do not see anything even remotely attractive about James, he is strangely skinny and knobby kneed and elbowed and his head looks to big for his body. He is also full of himself… I used to kind of like Scheana, feel a tad sorry for her because of how Stassi treated her, now I see a brat who has had the little bit of d list stardom go to her head. Poor Shay

    • Tp

      I agree 100% Ariana wasn’t even on the show the first couple of seasons. Ariana wanted Tom all along and probably had a lot to do with some of their fighting all throughout , truth be told. I’m pretty sure that Tom was cheating with Ariana too while Kristen was kicked to the curb by Tom and all her friends for the same thing. Ariana slid right in into Kristen’s life , taking her man and her friends. Now Ariana is giving ultimatums to the girls about having Kristen around? Ariana is insecure and too negative all the time. I think that Tom doesn’t want Kristen around bc he doesn’t want to see her with other guys and Ariana doesn’t want her around Tom bc she’s afraid he’ll dump her boring ass and go back to Kristen. I had Ariana’s number since her first appearance on the show when she proclaimed that she was cooler , prettier and smarter than Kristen. Then she claimed she wasn’t competing with her for her boyfriend ? Right! Ariana bores me.

      • janet

        I agree Arianna wanted Tom from the get go. Of course she wont admit their affair. Shes a stealthy bitch who enjoys pushing buttons, while feigning innocence from a distance. I got her number right off the bat. She treated Kristen like a rival.

      • Puddy

        Agree Tp. You totally have Arianna’s number. She is the one who wronged Kristin in the first place by stealing Tom, and then tried to twist everything to make herself (Ariana) look like the victim. I think her anti-lesbian rant college journal showed her to be a mean girl.. and she didn’t even get it.

  4. Deby Robertson

    Right not eight & meant LOVE not live this blog. I do live for it however!!!

  5. Tp

    Omg! I noticed the boob thing with Lisa tonight too! And I was thinking the EXACT same thing! ? I was thinking double sided tape. Ha

  6. Visa Landerpump

    Lala’s boob job is modest… I’d expect her to go for the porn star look. I always thought her boobs were real. But regardless being topless in front of your bosses son & girlfriend will always come off thirsty as hell..

  7. Lisaj

    Carine Gilson and Myla are most likely responsible for LVP bosoms. They are exquisite and hold both your Crown Jewels and Crown Jewels getters in magnificent perpetual suspension. That’s all I’ve got to add!

  8. Xanadude

    I purposefully declined to include a mention of a certain scene that is getting wide play on Twitter involving Jax and the bathroom, because…ick. Its just gross.

    • therealdeb

      Yeah, that was gross.. What the hell, who even does that in a newer relationship, not only that but on camera? So disgusting, and she is protective of his nasty ass…

    • Thank you. I am still contemplating bleach and permanent blindness to rid myself of that image. Great recap, Xanadude, thanks!
      I believe LVP’s boobs do have their own gravity. Or maybe her necklaces know better than to misbehave.
      Does anyone else imagine they can smell James, the Toms, Jax, and Peter through their TV and it’s not a good thing?

    • Jill

      It looked to me like the seat cover was down and he was looking at whatever. I hope that’s the case.

  9. Peter might as well wear black capri pants with ballet flats to go with his Laura Petrie flip.
    “Oh, Rob!!!!…..”

    Another episode transfixed on his hair.
    Dipity Don’t.

  10. Xanadude

    You are my spirit animal. How did I only JUST find this site ?

  11. bree

    I cannot stand the way Scheana talks. Her valley girl voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I have to agree with Ariana when she said that Shay’s ex girlfriend would never be allowed on a trip so why doesn’t Scheana understand why Ariana wouldn’t want Kristen around.

    • Shae

      Agreed, I don’t understand how this isn’t plainly obvious to everyone. Tom and Ariana are “cool” enough with Kristen to be in one another’s presence at social events when they must be. But if they don’t have to be, clearly, they would opt NOT to. In what world is it called “holding a grudge” to not want to socialize with your boyfriend’s crazy, psycho ex gf (who even if she has rehabilitated herself) has 1) acted crazy enough to be institutionalized 2) expressed enough hatred toward you and nasty character to never want to associate with such a person. Sorry, but I am not the asshole if I don’t want to be around a person like that. That’s not a “grudge” or something you “get over”, that’s a judgment call. You don’t like that person, you don’t trust that person, you were never friends, AND said person is your bf’s ex? Yea, plenty of reason to choose not to associate with them. No one should be calling Tom or Ariana petty for not wanting Kristen around if they can avoid it. I don’t get how they don’t understand that, just because someone claims to be sorry for their atrocious past behavior doesn’t mean you need to be friends. Of course Katie and Scheana go all airhead on this, like they can’t fathom how a “true” friend would not put Ariana in this position and would show some support. Sigh.

      That said, I truly don’t understand how any woman could date Jax. He lies through his teeth so much it’s amazing he has any left. He is AL UP ON lala and playing it off to Brittany…I bet she won’t even leave when she sees all his lies on tape. It’s nauseating.

      • Bridgett

        100% spot on

      • MzKRB

        1000% agree. Especially since Ariana was NEVER Kristen’s friend so the investment to restore a friendship/pleasantries that never was is non existent. Scheana talking about a 30 year old would be around them no problem, um a 30 year knows to avoid the foolishness. She’s around her when she has to be but why would I want that chick on my vacation when I damn well know we don’t like each other. I can understand Katie’s somewhat lack of “getting it” but Scheanna is supposed to be Ariana’s “bestfriend” and is coming across as rude and insensitive. And instead of worrying about everyone else relationships, condom drawers, and ability to go on trips, worry about your own house. Seems like that needs to be priority instead of trying to vie for camera time.

  12. GildedLily

    “It’s very Lady Granthamy.” That is the best reference ever. Lady Grantham can be so warm and fuzzy toward the servants but at the same time, in ever so subtle ways, never lets us forget that there is inviolable class distinction.

  13. WonkyTonk

    Oh no honey Kristen wasn’t crying in her talking head, she was reverting to evil suggesting Lala may have bitched to Sheana that James doesn’t fit into a size magnum condom which is why lala says she’s not attracted enough to screw him, but in reality, big, small, it makes no difference to Lala she likes the penis, all of it everywhere. “I thought Lala’s type was a dick, regardless of the shape size or color” is what she said during that talking head. Kristen don’t like the Lala.

    Ariana: On integrity and character, excuse, wasn’t she the one who allegedly screwed Kristen’s boyfriend while Kristen and Sandoval were still together and ended up his girlfriend? I think her idea of character building, and mine aren’t in the same neighborhood. Of course she wasn’t friends with Kristen she was trying to figure out a way to steal her man which she eventually did. That rage you see her and Sandoval aim towards Kristen is a manifestation of their own guilt I suspect. Sort of tired of her bitchy attitude at this point though.

    Lisa V doesn’t seem to like James much, same with Jax, but she seems to tolerate Jax. If I had a boss that talks to me like Lisa V talks to James I would be looking for another job.

    Sheana Good lord that woman is a narcissistic messy heifer! It’s hard to believe she felt the need to relay what Lala said to her about James and his penis size. It’s pretty clear the only time you should say anything in confidence to her is if you actually want it to go public in a big way.

    Jax pooping or peeing in public, I just can’t with that shit. Andy Cohen suggested he thinks Jax is doing that type of stuff because he may be trying to convince his “girlfriend” to want to leave.

    Nice recap.

  14. Celia

    Sandoval and Ariana need to grow up. Kristen is the bigger and better person. Does Sandoval ever listen to himself? I thought Schwartz more knowledgeable some what then Sandoval when explaining their plan to Lisa and others on Monday’s episode. James needs to slow down. He’s another Jax in the making.

  15. Rakely

    Why is this show so much fun?! Love these delusional SURvers! I hope that this really is somewhat staged, and they don’t actually take themselves too seriously. Am I evil?? Totally could not stand Kristen in previous seasons- but now loving her contributions! Because, therapy and “adulting.”

    However, “A brief stupid moment in our lives” doesn’t work over the age of 30… which they are

    • WonkyTonk

      Forgot to mention that. From what I’ve seen the kind of messiness they display, not to their level though is finished by early to mid-twenties. At the rate they’re going they’ll be fifty and still this messy.

    • tamaratattles

      Oh how I wish “brief stupid moments in our lives” stopped after 30, or that I stopped being messy after my 20s. At least in my case, I am still working on “adulting.” More power to those of you who matured. Perhaps it will happen for me soon?

      • lru

        I am so with you.

      • WonkyTonk

        Come on TT I won’t for a minute believe that messy drama on that scale attaches itself to you. Here and there we all screw up, for example a few years back I allowed the lines of casual sex to get blurry with one of my casual sex partners and it got a little messy for a bit, totally my fault, but it revealed there were a lot more feelings on his side than casual would imply. I generally try to tread lightly with people’s feelings and in this case I failed pretty badly, but still, nothing like on the seemingly non-ending scale of these people.

  16. Aren’t James and LaLa together now even after she said all those horrible things about his penis? Seriously low self esteem!

    • WonkyTonk

      She didn’t say he didn’t have a normal sized penis, just that she likes them really big. Kristen on the other hand intimated Sandoval has a micro penis. One is a statement of preference, the other is a hit below the belt. I don’t think she views them together as much as make out/hangout buddies. I’m pretty sure Lala and Jax have already slept together. That scene where she says she just wanted to hang she wasn’t asking him to suck his dick was entirely too familiar for me not to come away with that opinion.

      • I thought when they were on WWHL that they said they were together? Whatever LaLa sees him as a sick puppy…which he really is!

      • WonkyTonk

        Well no disagreement there Janshell, I find James unlikable for a host of different reasons, but here’s the thing if Lala feels that way about him what the hell is she doing constantly letting him fondle her, and making out with him? There’s a certain level of ick that attaches to her by virtue of her continued association with him in that vein.

      • Jill

        Lala is a tease and loves the attention. She’s all about it!

  17. BKSweetheart

    Per the previews for the rest of the season, Stassi looks 40 years old.

  18. Clouds

    I am very excited for Stassi, I am so tired of the Lala/James stuff and Arianna and Tom annoy the crap out of me.

  19. JoJoFLL

    What does Mike Shay actually do for a living? Scheana is the most annoying, whiney person on tv.

  20. Ingrid

    Did anyone mention Jax Pooping with the door open and Kentucky just moved in??? wtf?

    • Queen of the Nile

      I can only hope that was completely staged. Even a lowlife like Jax must draw the line at a nationally televised bowel movement. Ugh ….

      • I retract that statement. I’m watching last noted episode right now. The Jack taking a dump scene has passed. I didn’t see him walk out of the bathroom zipping his fly. I would never let my bf do that nor would I do it. That’s wrong on many levels.

    • Jill

      It looked to me like the seat cover was down. I might have to watch it again for further clarity. LOL.

  21. Ugh I’m so tired of Ariana’s smug. Ariana declares she has more integrity and character than Katie because she (Ariana) was never friends with Kristen. And yet she claims that shallow, self-absorbed twit Scheana as a BFF and has no issue allowing that greasy sociopath Jax in her life. She just tee-hees at Jax’s shenanigans since they either don’t affect her personally or they help her get what she wants (as when his hookup with Kristen helped drive the final nail into the Kristen/Tom Sandoval coffin). Girl you are a struggling actress that signed up for a trashy reality show. You aren’t better than the rest of the cast because you learned the word heteronormative reading some faux feminist blog on tumblr. Take several seats. Self-righteous hypocrite.

    • BKSweetheart

      ^^^ YES to all of this.

      • I think they’re all full of shyt on this show but I’m beginning to think Ariana may be the biggest phony and biggest opportunist of them all. I’ve always side-eyed her BFF thing with Scheana. It’s just hard for me to buy that this self-proclaimed smarter, prettier, more enlightened progressive hipster chick would count a shamelessly shallow little twit like Scheana as a bestie. I’m wondering if Ariana started worming her way into their lives 3 years ago with the hope of becoming a lead on VPR. Scheana is just silly enough to believe someone she’s only been friendly with for 3 years is her BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!!

        The initial group of Kristen, Jax, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Katie and Stassi is a dysfunctional mess but I buy into the authenticity of their friendship more. They share the same values and are all materialistic, appearance obsessed, emotionally immature drama queens. (Scheana actually fits in well with them). Plus we know there’s some authentic history between Jax and Tom Sandoval at least. I don’t think Ariana would give any of them, even Tom Sandoval, the time of day if it didn’t come with being on television. (It’s how I feel about Heather and Terry Dubrow fawning all over Vicki or Tamra on RHOC. They probably mock Vicki and Tamra’s ignorance and lack of culture and taste when they are off-screen) I bet Ariana is using both Scheana and Tom Sandoval and it may irk her that Kristen has her number.

        I think Lala is a huge opportunist too. For some bizarre reason everyone seems to think James is this musical genius that can make them stars (I bet Uncle George Michael can barely remember him thus making James’s shameless name-dropping a joke). I think Lala is disgusted by James but hooking up with him now because she thinks he can make her a star.
        If I’m right, both Lala and Ariana are pathetic but Ariana is worse.

  22. Gapeachinsc

    You are so funny XanaDude!! I loved the Baldrickian Cunning Plan reference and I completed my homework assignment!! I think Max is a cutie and hoped Faith was really into him… : (

  23. Vee

    Jax didn’t even wash his hands after pooping with the door open. Eeww

  24. Kim

    I’m actually ok at the hate from Ariana to Kristen. To be honest, maybe most are better than me but generally, I’ve never really been friendly with my boyfriend’s exes. ESPECIALLY if they’ve wished me maimed or dead,let alone accept them into my social circle & vacation. I’m not buying the whole Kristen redemption BS. Just wait, she’ll screw Jax over, better yet…Scheana, then all bets are off. I don’t consider myself a Stassi- supporter but if she puts Scheana in check, I will be. ;). That girl puts the I in team! She relates EVERY conversation to herself, a true narcissist & in this group, that’s saying something.

    • Jill

      I honestly don’t blame Ariana at all. Or Tom for that matter. I wouldn’t want her around either. Call it a grudge but how would anyone in that group be comfortable at a group outing with all that tension?

  25. Jill

    Was anyone else as shocked as I was by the pool scene? Lala topless in the pool and James being his obnoxious self. That reeks of no class or respect whatsoever. Unless it was staged, appalling.

    • Kim

      Trashy for sure! I bet production plants a seed & she’s probably the type to take it & run. Wouldn’t surprise me if that’s not the last of that type of behavior from that girl. She wants her 15 min (& I’m sure her & her tatas will get it).

    • Kim

      Hope this James storyline is headed for that boy getting a rap in the mouth. Someone needs to check his 90 lb ass! Seriously though, he needs to be knocked down a peg. What’s with his selfie faces?! Learn that from Kim Kardashian, did you?? Ughh I can’t.

      • Jill

        I saw a preview where Lisa is ripping on James and he is crying. And Jax….I wonder if he might be bipolar. With his lies, the drama he stirs up and loves it, stealing liquor and silverware from Sur, and chick hopping while paying for extravagant things for them. His behavior reminds me of my ex, who is bipolar. Or it’s staged.

      • Kim

        That would actually make sense. Lisa already busted Jax for taking liquor (you may have the staged part correct a bit too). I’m guessing since its LVP liquor he’s taking, they may be allowed to take a certain amount for promotion. He definitely has some BIG red flags. If he’s abusing drugs, as I heard (coke- it’s amazing how often his nose is so stuffy. Allergies my eye! I had a bit of a wild youth & I can usually spot them). Ahh the 90s LOL. Glad you brought up James crying with Lisa- I forgot about that! That boy needs a reality check! Can’t wait!!

      • Jill

        I had surgery on my nose for a deviated septum. I couldn’t breathe like a normal person for years. That’s what Jax supposedly had done. Anyways, I’m watching last night’s episode. I want to see the Jax bathroom scene again to confirm if the cover was down or not.

      • Kim

        Anything is possible but Jax has acknowledged using coke during a reunion (when asked about his nose. Nobody specifically asked about drugs so it was odd he mentioned a hole in his nose from drugs) & if you do a little digging, it’s the norm among their crowd. Apparently they’re remiss about it being on Periscope as well. I watched the toilet scene again & it looks like the seat was down…no hand washing either. I hope it cut was editing…

  26. Ariana is a bitchy, hipster snob but even she doesn’t deserve Scheana telling her ON CAMERA that her family is worried about her. Serious low blow. RIP fake besties.

    And if I have to hear James say “Jax-y Boy” one more time I’m going to lose it. I’m not defending Jax (repulsive man-child that he is) but James needs to slow his roll. Or roll off a cliff somewhere. Get this kid off my VPR. He’s ruining my favorite guilty pleasure. I hold Andy Cohen & Lisa Vanderpump responsible.

    Thanks for another great recap, Xanadude! I’m off to read The Shadow Over Innsmouth…

  27. I am watching last nights episode again. I just saw how James begged Jax to let him go to Hawaii. How pathetic is that? I hope his plan backfired.

  28. I live in Chicago and saw the other day that James and Lala are making an appearance at a nightclub here. Do that many people know who they are?

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