Look, as a teacher I love this show. As a reality TV lover of shows where kids may have gigantic meltdowns, I love this show. As someone who hates most parents of child geniuses, I love this show. It’s late, but I just have to watch the premiere. It’s on Lifetime on Thursday nights. Check it out.
These kids are in the top half a percentile on some IQ tests. They are used to being the smartest kid in their area and then they are thrust in with other kids just as smart. It reminds me of going to college. I went to private school from first to fifth grade. I was never really academically challenged until my high school junior year. I skipped my high school senior year, not exactly by choice, the counselor called me in and I expected the usual lecture on skipping class and not doing my best. But she basically said she could not take another year of me and shipped me off to Kennesaw State for joint enrollment. Basically, if I failed my college classes I would not graduate from high school. So of course, I continued my truancy, this time with boys and booze and just managed to squeak by. Eventually, I made it to UGA and EVERYONE there was way smarter than me. It was a wake up call. For about five minutes. Then I just did what I had to do to stay enrolled. Because, Fraternity Row! And I am far from a genius. It was just that college eliminated all the morons that made me feel smart. Anyway. Oversharing. These kids really freak out when placed in a situation where they are not the smartest kid in the room anymore. It’s fun.
Drake, 10 IQ 155. Um okay maybe I am a genius. 155 may not cut it in this competition. Anyway, Drake is a tennis star. His mother is annoying as fuck They live in Silicone Valley. I hope he goes home first. Drake can’t add 2 and 3 digit numbers in his head. I think he has to be first out.
Jenna, 11 IQ 162 from Texas. I love that she hates this. I love that her mother makes her punch the walls. Jenna doesn’t give a shit about any of this. Did I mention I love her?
Jaden, 11 IQ (?) and crazy parents. Jaden has a fermented food fetish.
Chancellor, 10 IQ (?) He’s adorable and uses his mind for evil. Phone hacking. Homeschooled by his mother. He doesn’t give a crap about winning this either. Heh.
Arnav, 9 IQ 144 Super into it. Wants to win. Gets anxious. Great at mental math.
Adrian 10 IQ (?) Adorable classic nerd. Homeboy from Peachtree City. Musical savant. Played Carnegie Hall, thrice. I love him. Very confident yet adorable. He is jointly enrolled as a senior in high school and a college freshman. Wants to go to Harvard but is worried about tuition and really wants to win this show. Single mother from some other country they have sort of an inappropriate relationship, the sort where a single mother treats her son like a partner. I should point out that Peachtree City is not a cheap place to live and he has a very expensive piano in the house. So the whole poor single mother thing is not working for me. He has a very rich daddy somewhere.
Claire, 10 IQ (?) Pretty good at mental math
Selah 9, 143 The youngest and perhaps the lowest IQ but quite confident.
Round One Math
Arnav probably can’t be beat in math comps. 9/10 and I am not sure they got to question 10.
Adrian, my home boy missed 12 X15 in the math challenge WITH PEN AND PAPER! He only got 5 out of 10 correct. Which I found odd.
Selah tanked with only two questions correct.
Jaden got 7/10 ugh. More of that mother and her food fetish.
Jenna got 3/10 Let’s hop she rocks the memory.
Drake got 2/10 I blame his mother. I hope Selah beats him in memory. His mother basically trashed talked him to the poor parent sitting next to him bitching about how she hires tutors and he still does things his own way.
PARENTAL SHAMING HALFTIME
The MENSA lady or whoever she is, is disappointed in the kids first outing. She blames nerves.
Drake is tied for last place (YAY!) and having a meltdown (YAY!) I need him to go home so Selah can stay. Selah’s parents are nicer.
Homeboy Adrian has his own commercial for the show. He will be around for awhile.
Round Two Memory
The kids have to memorize the order of a deck of 52 cards. This is somewhat unfair if there are kids with photographic memories. We shall see. They have one hour, parent free to memorize their deck. In this round, they cannot see how the competition is doing.
Adrian, my homeboy is first. He has a great memory technique for the suits. He gets 34 cards. YES!
Sam is adorable. We don’t know anything about him but he feels convinced he only has 51 cards in his deck. He is freaking out and no parents can be with him. A rep counts the deck. He has 52. He goes back to study.
Vivek is a super cute kid He has a panic attack and his father is marvelous with him. He only gets 18 but I think he will be fine. I love his dad.
Oh shit Selah only got 7!
Chance got FIFTY TWO CORRECT after some struggles! Way to go my little phone hacker! His mother tried to tell him to go study the deck again when he finished early and he refused saying it would just confuse him. She let him. He is moving to the front of my deck!
Drake is up. He needs at least 8 cards. He gets 16 but was VERY nervous. His mother unloads on a new chick how much she pays for him to learn shit and how talented he is and how she is worried about his nervousness. He has played pro tennis! Or whatever she said to excuse his mediocre round. Drake refuses to share his score with the other kids. He just says ” I did awesome.”
Claire got 40.
Jaden (fermented food fetish, Side note I have two pots of Wildbrine and two jars of Kim Chi in my fridge so keep your cards and emails. got 31.
Arnav only got 24 which after his human math calculator round was surprising.
OH NOE!!!!! My girl Jenna is having a meltdown. Her mother pushes her way too much. They call her parents back because she will not go out. They TELL HER that Selah only got seven cards. That should disqualify her right there. She says she can’t even do that. I hate her mother. The final girl is pulled from the room. because she is being unfairly stressed. Jenna’s stupid mother is telling her the answers. Apparently that is okay because there are competition people in there with them.
The final girl, Iris, who we have not really met yet gets 11.
The producers ask if she would like to go collect her certificate. Her mother is a huge cunt saying basically she does not want people to know her daughter melted under the pressure. Clearly this was not Jenna’s idea in the first fucing place and her mother sucks. So when this airs, I am sure Jenna will get some more fresh hell. This reminds me of all the times I just wanted to let the damn kids live with me. I nearly adopted two AND I DON’T EVEN WANT CHILDREN but damn some parents suck ass.
Top Three: Arnav and Claire with 28 points tied for second. Chance won.
Parents said mean things about Jenna not coming out. Especially Drake’s mom.