Merry Christmas! (A Holiday Daily Tea Post)


Since there is a political battle going on in the Bear Grylls comments (It’s just like holidays with the family, right?)  I thought I’d give you guys an open forum to chat and share about your holiday plans. And just hang out while I am taking time away (so far it’s hard not to work, who would have guessed?)  Anyway, here at TT we have posts from time to time I call Daily Tea. You can talk about anything going on, and the rules are even more lax while I am on vacay!

So here are a few holiday cards that may remind you of me, or yourself, or certain housewives.

Xmas 2


Perhaps the one above is for the window lickers… they could all use a dictionary…

And the one below is for the THOTs of RHOA and others as applicable…

Xmas 3

Now tell us all what you are up to! And enjoy the holiday of your choosing.

And thanks for checking out the search box and reading some of the things you might have missed. The “Jodi Arias” ones are kind of interesting even if you are not a trial watcher. “Sheree Whitfield” is another exciting search if you missed that.  And UF’s recaps of American Horror Story read like a novel if you start at the end and work your way up!




Filed under Daily Tea

163 responses to “Merry Christmas! (A Holiday Daily Tea Post)

  1. Spilledperfume

    I didn’t realize that things were still going strong over in the Bear Grylls post. I guess the President isn’t allowed a day off. As someone who had never seen Bear’s show before I’m glad I caught that one.

    How is Bango doing? Is his skin/rash getting better?

    Did you see David Tutera’s show yesterday with Big Ang and her family? If not maybe you can watch it on demand. The show was for her sons wedding.

  2. Cat

    I am struggling today.

    This year, I was determined to, for once, enjoy Christmas. I started the day happy. Then, thanks to the insensitivity of a new “friend” on facebook, I quickly lost that happiness. I now find myself in a deep depression.

    I was going to unfriend the jerk. But other friends begged me not to. You see, HE is also depressed. Like many others, I usually hide my dark feelings with humor. This guy uses humor, too. The difference is, he uses it as a weapon against others. I use it as a mask.

    “Smile through the pain.”

    I’ve asked him several times to stop. He is hurting me. He responds with more jokes. Insulting jokes, sometimes. Kick a person while they are down, I guess.

    Anyway, that’s where I am right now. “Smile through the pain.” I can’t hurt someone who is already hurting. They, however, can do whatever the fuck they want to me. Story of my life.

    Thanks for letting me express how I really feel. I will be OK. I’ve been here many, many times before. It will pass. It always does.

    But, I think I will exercise my right to remain silent…for awhile, anyway.

    Merry Christmas, everyone. Be kind to each other. Life is short.

    • Cat, happy happy days to you.
      You are a smart girl, you know what
      to do. Maybe d/l a free book or two,
      read a easy simple story.
      Walk, it’s free, dress warm.
      Anything but Facebook (48 hrs?)

    • Spilledperfume

      Cat, don’t let this person rent space in your head. He’s not worth it. Unfriend the person and keep move forwarding.
      Have a wonderful holiday.

      • Bridgett

        I second this. It isn’t humor if it is causing you pain, it is being an asshole. You are responsible for your own happiness and sometimes that means removing people from your life. My son is 5 and we talk about bucket fillers and bucket dippers, this guy sounds like a bucket dipper-someone that is stealing from you by hurting you. If you don’t want to unfriend, you could start by hiding his posts.

      • SaraSally

        They are not renting, but merely squatting rent free. Do not give up your energy or your power to emotional free loaders.

    • BeckyMay

      Hey Cat I’m sorry you are going through this. Maybe you can put him in the ‘Restricted’ category. He won’t be able to see your posts. Or you could unfollow him. You would still remain friends but his posts won’t come up in your news feed. I had too unfollow a friends 17 year old who has a problem with the smaller minorities in my country. She tried to tell me that in Australia we only say “Merry Christmas” and not “Happy Holiday” etc.

      • I agree with BeckyMa and SpilledPerfume. Don’t let him have free space in your mind – that is a ‘high rent’ district that only people who bring happiness are allowed. So unfollow the SOB and if he starts to realize you aren’t responding to his meanness and he messages you, just say “I understand that you have issues that make you lash out at people and while you have my sympathy, you do not have my attention.”
        Now, do fun things for you and look for some people IRL to interact with and have as happy a holiday season as possible :)

      • Sam

        I have “unfollowed” probably like 20 people on my friends list. I couldn’t take it anymore, between the political posts, the bragging, the eye-rolling bullshit… I subscribe to a bunch of fashion and literature and writing and parenting pages and that makes up most of my news feed. I don’t really know why, but Facebook was making me hate people. I should probably get rid of it, but there are maybe 5 or 6 people I really like hearing from on there. Anyway, a long way of saying hover over his name and put up whatever restrictions you need to. If you need to unfriend him for your own health, then do so. You can’t solve his problems and you’re not his punching bag to make himself feel better either.

      • Dee

        Oh restricted sounds good, wish I had known about that before I unfriended. Thank you!

    • Well I hope you have a Merry Christmas, and a wonderful holiday season. Feel better soon.

    • fivecatsownme

      Dearest Cat, being in pain and depressed is not an excuse to hurt others. I love you cat.

      • Oh, Cat, I’m outraged that anyone is deliberately hurtful to you! I might physically kick his ass on your behalf. I vote for “unfollow” this unhappy person, or “un-friend” him if you want to. No one has the right to either hurt you or tell you how to feel, so if you feel like ditching him and his hurtful posts, go right ahead. Enough of that…we love you. I like to make a list of things that always make me feel better, and do some of them…even if I have to absolutely make myself. Baby steps…a nice shower…hot chocolate…coffee with Black Cherry Bailey’s…my favorite ancient flannel pjs…my best friend…reading TT…taking a ride and admiring the lights…going to a movie (“Sisters” has its moments)…clean sheets…spoiling my dog…Love and feel better.

    • Cat, I’m so sorry this awful person has made you unhappy. Depression is a tricky slope; don’t allow him to create a landslide for you. “Unfriend” or “Unfollow” mean people the next time you’re on FakeBook. We love you. I’d definitely kick his ass if I knew him; a good ass kicking cheers me right up. I like to do little things that make me feel better – even if I have to absolutely make myself…a nice shower, cheese toast, hot chocolate, a walk with my dog, good coffee with Cherry Chocolate Baileys, an ancient pair of flannel pjs, a movie with a good friend (“Sisters” has its moments), a new book on Kindle, riding around to see the night lights…whatever you like – even if nothing sounds good right now. I hope you feel better quick like a bunny.

    • Love you Cat! Sending all my happy chi. <3 <3 <3

    • TAT

      Cat – unfriend him if you want. It’s not okay, regardless of his issues, for him to make you feel badly. I find FB to be a fun zone and when it isn’t, I remove the offending problem. You are not the designated whipping post for him or anyone else. Sending you good thoughts. Depression is a bitch.

    • Skeeter


      Fuck that person!!! UNFRIEND!!! Listen I go through terrible times during the holidays and like you I mask it with humor. This person you know on FB sounds like they use their depression to take their anger/sadness out on others. I know I for one don’t need that kind of bullshit in my life during regular times let alone the holidays. Maybe your unfriending will make him open his eyes. Years ago I lost my father a week before Thanksgiving. Less than a month after Christmas, the same year, my husband was murdered. I absolutely DO NOT do well during this time of the year but I don’t make others feel as bad as I do and I don’t let them know I’m hurting. Some years are better than others. The question is: is your new friend on FB really a friend? IMO I say unfriend the prick!!

      Cat have a great holiday season, don’t let the assholes get to you!

    • I come here every day and enjoy the recaps and comments. My Christmas is going to be very strange this year because last Monday (the 14th) my son died. He died of heart failure after suffering a massive heart attack last July. He was given 6 months to live and he made it 5 1/2 months.. he had suffered from cancer and many other medical issues for the past two decades but he continued to fight . Until last week, he won his battles. He was 50 years old and an amazing person. He dreams were of growing up to be a top model and he made them come true. He was a top model and traveled the world and appeared in many magazines and on many runways for top designers. He always encouraged others to follow their dreams as he followed his. Losing a child is the most horrendous experience I have ever known and I still can’t imagine that he is no longer here with me. I wanted to thank TT and all of you who make my days brighter and make me smile at your words. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and I wish you all peace. I will continue to make my way to this place every morning because of all of you and because it gives me a moment to feel better. Thank you all so much.

      • I wanted to add that my son’s name is Donny Srery and his many pictures and tributes are on FB.

      • GildedLily

        I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Sending you hugs.

      • Merilyn, thank you for sharing. I am so very sorry for you loss. Your son sounded like a real warrior and I am happy he had you for a mother.

      • Tara

        Merilyn, I can’t imagine. Thank you for sharing your journey. Reading your post definitely woke me up. Not that I feel better reading about others heartbreak, but that you appreciate TT (as we all do) etc.
        I am going to go look at Donnys tributes now. So if you see comments from a crazy southern lady, it’s me.
        Merry Christmas internet friend and I am sending prayers and positive energy and thoughts your way.

      • Tara

        WoW!!! Donny is beautiful! He still is, even if he is no longer physically here. So are you. I love the post his sister wrote. I could not comment bc I am not on his friends list.

      • Merilyn,

        I am so sorry.
        You and your son are in my heartfelt prayers. I am going to light a candle for him at Christmas Eve mass.
        My best wishes to you and your family at this time. ?

      • Cat

        So sorry for your loss, Merilyn. <3

      • Dee

        Merilyn, I am so sorry, so sincerely sorry. Your news brought me to tears. I have two sons and can’t imagine the pain of losing either one of them As parents we always think we will go first. I am praying for you. I will go to pay tribute to him on FB, HUGS, Dee

      • fivecatsownme

        May the light perpetual shine upon Donny.
        I am sorry for your loss.

      • tcdfw

        Merilyn, I am terribly sorry for the loss of your wonderful son. May your God give him eternal peace and rest. May he also give you daily strength, comfort, peace and hope. Bless you.

      • Katherine 2.0

        I am glad you find some small bit of comfort here, Merilyn. I am so very sorry for your loss.

      • Mzjulesaz


        I’m so sorry for your loss, may Donny RIP.

      • TeeTee

        Merilyn, no words of mine will ease your time of trial…..holding you close in prayer@

      • Georgia

        Merilyn I am so sorry for your lost. Nothing hurts more. You will be in my prayers. God be with you. XO

      • beth

        I’m so sorry for your loss Merilyn

      • hannahkingrose

        Merilyn, Cat and Skeeter, I wish I could be in the same room with all three of you just so I could give each of you a hug. I know a hug isn’t a big thing. It doesn’t cost a dime and it can’t change a thing that has happened to either one of you. The only thing my little hug could do is to let you know how deeply your stories have touched me and also let you know that I care. I am so sorry that you all have had to go through these experiences that no one should have to endure.

      • Dracla Dunning

        My deepest heartfelt sympathies for your loss, Merilyn. During your grief may God hold you as close to Him as you held your precious son.

      • Wanda

        Sorry for your loss, Merilyn.

      • @immelza

        Merlilyn, I’m sending you tons of uplifting thoughts and hugs hang in there. I have walked in your shoes, it does get better and my heart breaks for you. Take care ???

      • Toddy

        Merilyn, I’m sorry to hear about your son’s passing. Praying you have sweet memories to help comfort in the days ahead?

      • Merilyn, I am so very sorry. We are here for you and holding you and your beautiful, precious son in our hearts.

    • Dee

      Cat, thank you for sharing. I know how hard it is, don’t let one person ruin your good mood. I’m trying that myself. I unfriended the person on FB that was making me miserable. I miss her but know it was for the best. You are much loved here. Dee

    • LisaPat

      Cat, if he is making you feel bad, kick the SOB to the curb! You dont need that negativity .

      • Cat

        Thanks, everyone. Normally, I would unfriend him, but he is still dealing with the sudden loss of his young son, killed by a drunk driver in 2012. I believe his son was only 9 years old. I just can’t kick someone when they are down.

        I have unfollowed his posts. I did that last week. And I am no longer responding to his comments.

        I also found out that his wife sometimes logs in under his account. He told me from the beginning, she is very jealous of him having female friends, especially if they live so close. (We are both in the Kansas City area.) She may be the one doing this.

      • It sounds like you are finding that balance between kindness and boundaries with him and perhaps his wife. That’s a really amazing good place to be, Cat. Well done.

      • Cat

        Thanks. I just read some articles about his son’s death, in 2010.. Horrible.

        His son was 12. A man high on PCP hit a line of cars at a high speed. I’ll spare the details.

        This man had been charged at least TWENTY TWO times previously for reckless driving, driving under the influence, and driving on a revoked license. He never did jail time, because of overcrowding.

        The 12 year old had to die before this scum was put away. He got 34 years.

        My friend “forgave” his son’s killer…but he is obviously bitter and broken. Who wouldn’t be?

    • IM OK NOW

      Hi Cat,

      I never comment because I just enjoy reading. But I am coming out my shell after years to tell you that you always make me laugh and I enjoy your posts. I know im just a weird lurker to you, but your real friends are here…unfriend that mfer because you are too cool for ANYONE to have a problem with. Ok..going back to my you Cat.

      I’M OK

    • Mona

      I have unfollowed people on FB instead of unfriending them. I also post while excluding them. It’s very peaceful. Hoping you can feel great again.

    • Matzah60

      Cat, there is an apt quote for the person you are describing:

      Some people come into our life as a blessing.
      Others come into our life as a lesson. Those people are
      Best described as “douchebags”

      When other people marginalize you, it says nothing about you, but speaks volumes about the asshole attacking you. I say unfollow him. Shut the door on this so-called friend. He can only beat you down if you allow him to be part of your life.

      As someone who has suffered from depression and anxiety for the last 15 years, I wouldn’t use humor/sarcasm to attack anyone. Everyone has their cross to bear, so to speak, but that does not give them the right to abuse, victimize, and hurt other people, in this case, you.

      A wonderful therapist I had who has now passed told me to close the door on toxic relationships. Real friends don’t try to hurt and sabotage you. Don’t let this person come between you and your mental health.

      • Cat

        Thanks, everyone. I am already feeling better…because of all of you.

        I am not going to unfriend him just yet. I will see how things go after the holidays are over. For right now, I will just keep my distance.

        Thanks again! You are all very special people!

      • Erica

        I absolutely agree. My cousin – known to be a little nuts and an exaggerator – was wise at least once when he and I discussed unfriending some mutual friends and family. He said FUCK THEM. If he doesn’t give a shit about hurting your feelings, why should you give a shit about theirs?

        I agree though – sometimes easier said than done… there are ones I want to unfriend, but as family members I would hear about it in real life (or my mom would get lots of shit for it… I think even some who have unfriended me for no apparent reason probably would have a shit fit if I unfriended their mom.)

        Fuck them… fuck them all.

    • kallen253

      Cat, don’t listen to ‘friends’ that try to talk you into or out of things like de-friending someone who is obviously not good for you. You aren’t the keeper of his happiness or unhappiness i.e. depression. He has to figure that out himself and you have to take care of you. I suffer from depression too, but I don’t use it as a weapon to hurt others. Kick him to the curb, Cat and have a very Merry Christmas!

    • erikainhb

      HI Cat…sending you happy and cheerful thoughts

      My vote is for unfriend too. Regardless of someone’s issues they have no right to treat you or anyone badly and even more so no one has the right (or rather unmitigated gall) to tell you should have to continue to subject yourself to it. I’ve been there as well. They want to put up with that..well bully for them. You need to take care of you!!!

    • Joan

      A couple things I try to think of when I am in your situation. 1) The hardest people to love, are the ones that need it the most.
      2) No matter what anyone else says. You need to take care of you first (love yourself) So de-friend the jerk. It isn’t healthy for either one of you.
      3) Sarcasm is anger….humor isn’t funny if it isn’t shared. He has anger issues and will always find scapegoats. Don’t be a scapegoat to him.

      Sometimes people just suck, but it isn’t your burden…it is theirs. You can only do your own best in life and not worry about other people’s character flaws.

      I want you to be at peace…and the words above are what I have to keep telling myself as well.

    • Zo

      That’s exactly it. Life is too short, especially when you accommodate someone’s behaviour toward you that is abusive. If you are thinking that you are supposed to forgive someone’s behaviour, that is true, but that doesn’t mean you are continually having to be a victim of it. If this person refuses to change it, you need to block them and concentrate on those that cherish you.

  3. loriflack

    ~ Welp, I have pretty much come to the conclusion that trying to keep a high functioning brain “happy” is not possible ~js

  4. More Tea Please!

    This is the time my husband and I go into accounting / present equity mode with our kids.m it is always complicated by that one with the December 21st birthday…did we short-change him?

    Now that our kids are are all young adults (25-30) and we will be on a fixed retirement income we are trying to figure out what is a reasonable Christmas gift strategy for next year. What do y’all older folks do in that respect?

    • Cat

      My sister and I are both on fixed incomes now. We agreed years ago NOT to exchange gifts. We simply call each other on Christmas, and talk for an hour, or so.

      Christmas is not about presents. It’s not about who “gets” the most stuff. It IS about GIVING: Giving love, giving happiness, giving respect. Giving Thanks. Being grateful for your life. Being thankful for having a warm home, and warm, nourishing food. Being thankful for having friends and family you can love, and who love you.

      It’s really quite simple. And beautiful. Merry Christmas!

      • AKA Riley

        Beautiful…..just like you. I am trying to send lots of hugs lately. I see a couple of commentors picking it up too. Makes me smile. Let’s all try to smile more and send those hugs and kisses. Remember. …we can’t control how others behave, we can only control how we let it affect us. Merry Christmas Cat, Tamara and all the rest of you. :) And many, many HUGS!

      • ZenJen55

        Great present. We already have stuff, but love from friends and family is priceless. Merry Christmas Cat always read your comments

      • DJ

        A truly lovely and inspiring post!!! Please know you helped me this morning. My nephew is dying. He has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We are taking our 3 children to see him in SC for Christmas. How they are going to react is beyond me… I think it is too much for them.

        No parent should have to bury a child. My poor sister in law. She is so broken, as we all are.

        anyway…hugs to you. Your post made me smile. xoxoxo DJ

        Thank you for all your brilliant wit this year. You often put a smile on your face.

      • Dee

        Cat, beautiful sentiment, just like you! I always say, it is the thought that counts, not a gift. I value the people who are there for me 364 days a year, not just the one day. Merry Christmas to all of you. I love this site and Tamara for giving it to us. She is the gift that keeps giving :)

      • S.Hughes

        We try to do an experience gift for the whole family such as membership to a museum or water park or white water rafting, certificate for a car detailing, tickets to a show or performance. Shopping done for the whole family!

      • Cat

        DJ, so sorry to hear about your nephew. Hugs and prayers to all!

    • Jaded

      I don’t know if it helps you or not but my children fall into that category now and I spend the same amount that I always have but divide it up between their families. Also, this year I did little things throughout the year and pared back on Christmas. I just enjoy my time with them more than anything. My daughters family is in Oklahoma and I try to go 3 times a year. I’m not able to go as much as Vicki Gunvalson!

      • Dee

        Jaded, I did something similar this year, for Christmas I went to see my parents and sister. I felt the time spent would create great memories and so much better than a gift they don’t need. I had lots of hugs and that was worth a lot. I have another trip booked for March. I agree with you, time is worth so much more. The train I could do without but you can’t beat the cost. Merry Christmas!!

    • Our children are grown and one has children of his own; both are married. We buy gifties for the grands and the “kids” and spouses get couples gifts from us. Both couples are homeowners and so my husband got them gift cards from a home improvement store; my gift is horribly expensive bamboo sheet sets. I caught them with a 30% discount so instead of $400 for 2 sets I paid $280. So we’ll see them Christmas eve (have to share with the other parents, step families etc) and then off for me for a few days with my Mom.

    • fivecatsownme

      I give out a check and a box of See’s candy. Some years the checks are more generous than others.

      • Someone better give me an effing box of See’s Candy or else!

      • fivecatsownme

        You live in the land of See’s. I have to mail order it.

      • I was trying to get my daughter to apply for a job at the nearest store, but she told me we would gain 100 lbs in about a week. (Sad sigh)

      • fivecatsownme

        I would volunteer for double shifts.

      • Skeeter

        Hey fivecats! I had See’s candy once. A friend came to visit and brought me a box. OH MY GAWD!!!!! Loved every piece LOL! I hid them from everyone!!!! My fave was the white chocolate key lime truffle. TO DIE FOR!

      • fivecatsownme

        I grew up in California. Sees was a must. My little dumpling of a grandma brought us Sees at Xmas and Easter. You can mail order it. Better than Godiva.

      • Cat

        Ooh. I miss See’s candy. I love their chocolate coconut.

      • @immelza

        Off to Google See’s candy! I did get some Hammond’s peppermint candy canes filled with chocolate and some plain mint ones -for my dogs! In this house if I have a piece of candy everyone must have a piece! ??

    • Wanda

      Although I’m not on a fixed income, my son is 30 now. Every year he needs less and less from me, because he can afford to buy stuff himself, so he doesn’t expect big gifts. So I often buy Broadway theatre tickets,so he, my husband, and I can go . But most importantly though, I focus on having a restful Christmas holiday where he can stay for a few days and relax with good food and drink. Since it will probably just be the 3 of us for dinner, we just enjoy chillin’.

    • Jdbcforest

      We, along with our son and daughter in law, pick a charity to contribute to. We don’t spend a whole lot, but feel that we don’t really need anything, and many other people do.

    • hannahkingrose

      Well I’m sitting here reading and finger knitting scarves for the girls of the family. I’m painting replicas of some of my friends favorite football team’s helmets and Star Wars stuff on wood pallet pieces that I made into sort of canvases. I’ve made some Christmas snow globes out of mason jars for others. I’ve tried to do some homemade presents this year. Not only does it help with the cost but it makes it a little bit personal. I’ve got to get the sewing machine out if I have enough time left. It’s getting down to the wire. I also gave my son who lost his leg a year ago one of my diamond rings to give to his girlfriend. She stayed with him through the whole thing. He’s asking her to marry him on Christmas Eve. I did buy her present. She loves Guinea pigs and I bought her a new baby. Love getting people things they love.

      • Those are wonderful presents, hannahkingrose!

      • Cat

        I agree, your homemade gifts sound wonderful. Truly gifts from the heart! Congratulations to your son and his girlfriend! I hope she says “YES!”

      • fivecatsownme

        I love handmade gifts.Merry Christmas.
        The girlfriend will treasure an heirloom ring.

      • Dee

        Oh Hannah KingRose, I love handmade gifts they mean so much more than store bought items. Good for you!! I used to buy gifts for everyone I knew. Now, just hubby, sons, and small children. I,admire you so much!

      • I love your handmade gifts and a snuggly, furry baby. And what could be more romantic than a Christmas Eve engagement…Best wishes to your son and his bride. Lucky her to marry into your family!

  5. ZenJen55

    Oh the best IMHO is the blogs of Sherree taking you to court, Bless you for that! But my favorite one is your first, you’ve come a long way baby and i for one have enjoyed the ride.

    Im going to the Gulf for Christmas, first vacay in over 20yrs. Life is good. Tamara, you and Banjo has made me laugh, cry and laugh some more. I cannot ever tell you thank you as its more than that. I love you Sisterfriend.

    To all the commenters, Have a joyful holiday, you delight me with your wit and intelligence Merry Christmas ZenJen

  6. I’m travelling to the sunshine coast (2 hour flight) to visit my parents and brother this year. Leave in three days. I’m in a weird position next year as I may have the opportunity to relocate to England (covet or convent garden, something like that). Breaking that posibility to my parents will NOT go down well.

    • Micheal, On the other side, it will give them a year to save money for the flight
      to England, a wonderful opportunity to show them around.
      Of course they will stay with you, you will insist. ✈️

    • Meredo

      I don’t envy you that Micheal, cuz I know if you were my son I wouldn’t want you to move either!! JK a little. However, I’m sure in the long run as much as it hurts your parents for you to leave,if it’s an opportunity for you they will eventually understand. As Callipatti said they can come visit and look forward to when you move back home, (I’m assuming this is temporary?). Besides the hard part of telling your parents, it sounds exciting. So go you! Have a great holiday!

    • Covent Garden? What an exciting opportunity! Good for you!

    • Covent Garden? What a wonderful opportunity!

  7. Trinity

    So Teresa is getting out of jail & is having a Bravo Christmas special. Enjoy!

  8. All the kids are now 25 or older, but I will still do silly stocking themes as I have done since they were tiny. This year’s theme is The Martian movie. Each stocking will have a roll of aluminum foil,, duct tape, and a potato. Don’t want to do spoilers if you haven’t seen the movie, but if you have, I hope you will get it. Will also supply life saving rations of gummie burgers, pizzas, and hot dogs, guns that shoot soft pillow type objects (in case of evil Martian natives), bubble gum cigarettes (so Un-PC) and any other incredibly stupid unhealthy thing I can stuff into the stockings. The potato was the boy friend’s idea–why I love more every day.
    We will have brunch. I don’t have to work Christmas day, so will hopefully spend the afternoon and evening playing computer games and TV binging. I am attempting to cook borscht the way my Russian grand ma taught me a million years ago. I will probably have to cheat a little and find a recipe on line.
    Hope everyone has a happy wonderful holiday!

  9. ZenJen55

    Heavens, Yo has tweeted she is now using Cannabis Oil. I am a Cannabis Activist with The National Patients Cannabis Wall. Im well versed in this area. Without a correct diagnosis she cant get the correct type of Cannabis and it does not work if you cleanse your body out as you will cleanse out the cannanoids and THC. I believe in the healing properties of this herb. I think the “supplements” is doing unreversable damage to her. Any thoughts anyone on Yo and her trying Cannabis???

    • Spilledperfume

      Do you know anything about Cannabis helping with insomnia? I’ve never smoked before so I would be interested in baking with it if it would help. I’ve no one else to ask as I don’t know anyone who uses it.
      Thank you.

      • More Tea Please!

        Spilled Perfume, try taking a magnesium pill at bedtime and see if this helps. Cheap, over the counter Magnesium from any drugstore.

      • ZenJen55

        Google Rick Simpsons Cannabis Oil. Yes, no more sleep problems. Different strains of cannabis is used for specific illnesses. Do your research. Good luck, you can ask me anything and i will try to help. Also National Cannabis Patients Wall will help you. Free the Weed!!!

      • fivecatsownme

        Melatonin helps too.

      • @immelza

        For me mmj has been a lifeline I was on about 15 prescription meds for almost 9 years after getting hit by an impaired driver and breaking my neck, almost having my left arm ripped off plus TBI and more. The prescriptions were killing my liver and (way to many side effects to go into) I always felt terrible. It has been a very long road back to my new normal life but I now only take 3 meds. I encourage everyone who has different medical issues to seek out & research mmj in it’s many types that are available(you won’t feel high or impaired unless that’s what you want) Oh and I wish Yolanda well, I’m sure something is making her I’ll but chasing Drs all over the world, stuffing your gut with unregulated supplements and sticking hoses up your ass daily will not do anything to make her feel better IMHO.

    • fivecatsownme

      Yolanda is grasping for any treatment that will keep her in the news. I think THC could be a life saver for seizure disorders and PTSD. For Yolanda, I don’t know. I think she needs to start at ground zero with a sympathetic physician or nurse practitioner and eliminate all the cleanses and colonics and bizarre treatments. I think if she has post treatment Lyme syndrome, THC might help the anxiety and pain. But who knows.

  10. Crazy in NC

    I am currently at my sister’s house enjoying our Christmas with her. Our schedule got messed up this year, so we stayed over last night and will be doing presents with the kids ince everyone wakes up! Plus we are going out to lunch today!
    For the first time in YEARS, we will be spending Christmas morning at my house. It feels very weird to me.
    I am a total Christmas junkie by the way. Carols start in my car on Black Friday, as do the Christmas movies on my TV. All of it ends once Christmas Day ends. We also do Dia de los Tres Reyes since my husband is Mexican. We have the rosca with Abuelita hit chocolate because DUH so yummy!

    • Wanda

      You end on Christmas Day? I start fresh from Christmas until Dia de los Reyes because that’s actually the end of the 12 days of Christmas. Just making up stuff to keep the holidays going; once the bright lights are off, January can become cold and boring.

  11. More Tea Please!

    Let’s talk Christmas menus. We do dinner on Christmas Day, probably a throw-back to when we used to visit the Tia’s (great-aunts actually) for a big family get-together on Christmas Eve in Colombia. Our family was the odd ducks at this event, since my father married a Gringa.

    Christmas dinner will be prime rib, with horseradish sauce. Roasted lemon-basil potatoes and green bean feta salad. Not quite sure what’s for dessert, maybe an almond cake.

    • Swizzle

      It’s ham at my parents’ house on Christmas Eve and beef tenderloin, which is referred to as Christmas meat in our house, on Christmas Day here at home.

    • fivecatsownme

      Check out blitz torte on King Aurther flour. Delicious and easy.

    • Cat

      Just me, so I can make whatever I like, without the stress of pleasing others (I am not much of a cook).

      This year, I’m cooking a Hawaiian pork roast in the crock pot. Since it sounds rich, I will pair it with Jasmine rice, and probably some steamed veggies.

      That’s all! I am determined to hit the liquor store tomorrow for a bottle of wine…or two. I really want champagne for New Year’s Eve.

    • Erica

      Christmas Eve MUST have clam chowder – its a family tradition passed down from my paternal grandmother. My cousins and I consider it unlucky if we DON’T have it!!! (My younger cousin once couldn’t make it home until Christmas morning – flights were impossible – she doesn’t even LIKE clam chowder and she made it for Christmas Eve for all of her friends) We will change up everything else on the menu year to year. (My folks and I host)

      This year we decided on chili for those who don’t like chowder (Mom already made it, and put it in the freezer). I’m on chowder duty (lots of stirring), and we’ll also have rolls, mayo, mustard, butter, variety of cheese slices, and variety of lunch meat for little side sandwiches to go with the chili or chowder. The beauty of all this is that it can be MADE AHEAD. I’ll probably make the chowder that morning – but both chili and chowder will go in our crock pots early afternoon to get warm and ready.

      We haven’t decided if we’re going to do appetizers. I’m leaning towards brie, fig jam, and toasted baguette slices. I think mom is leaning towards some sort of hot shrimp or crab dip. I also like doing my own crudite – I HATE those bagged “baby carrots” that aren’t really baby carrots.

      I am also contemplating a made from scratch hot chocolate or an apple cider.

      Christmas Day is at the friends’ house – we take over leftovers (same peeps) and they’ll have ham or turkey or both (we’re a large crowd). There will be a potato dish, and a salad. I’ve been told I can bring anything I want. Leaning towards making several kinds of cheese balls!!!

      • Oh, finally!!!!!

        Another person that understands those ARE NOT carrots! They are some little disgusting Frankenstein vegtable creation pitifully panting in a little plastic bag.

        Erica, your menu sounds as wonderful as the day you are going to have with friends and family. Merry Christmas!

      • Erica

        Maisey! thank you! Merry Christmas!!!

        Seriously – you don’t know how much I needed that Merry Christmas tonight, and a reminder that our simple little menu is wonderful, and those bleached, water cut carrots are disgusting! (I needed that giggle most of all….)

        Cheers to those of us who bother to peel the tasty carrots!

      • Tara

        Erica, I just called my Mama and said I had a great idea from Christmas Eve, clam chowder. I even discussed how we could make everything ahead of time. I stole your entire idea and due to the fact she was so proud, I decided to let her think it was my idea. I apologize:( She did ask if I knew how to make it.
        I gave my secretary the week off, with pay. She is a single mother and I know she is missing her parents. This year instead of giving myself a special scarf (actually one that TT mentioned a while back on social media)and a new purse, I gave my secretary and her kids round trip tickets to see her parents. I think I am more excited than she is. So today will consist of conference calls and researching on how to make awesome clam chowder.
        Merry Christmas TT, TT’ers and TeeCee. Thank you all for giving me something to laugh at when I was in a mood to cry. TeeCee, I thought you were probably a woman who was a bitter, I was wrong. Your Thanksgiving post was delightful.
        I need to return to my job that I appointed myself to, TT’s marketing bitch:) I would love to see TT grow leaps and bounds in 2016. Everyone deserves some TT in their life.

      • Erica

        Tara! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you are copying it, AND that you took credit!!!! TOTALLY something my cousins and I would do – so it is perfect.

        Seriously – something my grandma would have enjoyed too :) On a side note – I just LOVE LOVE LOVE your gift to yourself being sending your secretary home for Christmas. That is some seriously awesome stuff right there (and as for you being more excited – I totally get that feeling. I so get off on finding that perfect gift for someone. Even if it is something as silly as giving my nephew Taco Bell gift cards because his parents make him buy his own when he goes there after school with his friends. I was a popular auntie there I tell you!)

        If you haven’t found a chowder recipe, google Hood Canal Clam Chowder – the number one hit should be one by Laurie Butterworth. It is the EXACT amounts that we got from the cookbook (which I don’t have the name of – my copy is a xerox copy) PLUS it includes our secret – save the liquid from the clams, and and that in with the half and half and milk. (No, this is not a low calorie thing – it is CHRISTMAS DAMMIT.) We usually like having chowder left overs, and with about 8 people there that will have chowder, we double it.)

        It is mentioned briefly – but I cannot stress enough on how important the stirring is – easy to burn the bottom of the saucepan. Also last year I fucked up and had some too big potato cubes in there – so took a while to cook those, and made the others mushy.

        It is also rich enough that I usually have no problem with drinking red wine all night with it (but who am I kidding – I order red with fish if I am in the mood and they have a Malbec on the menu)

        This isn’t my grandma’s recipe (sorry, Grandma! We can never get yours thick enough! Did you leave out an ingredient when you wrote it out for us?)…. but still, if you enjoy, raise a glass of thanks to Gladys! (mentally!!! keep up the pretense that you came up with the idea on your own) Gladys is my grandma, BTW.

      • Tara

        I found the recipe, WoW!! Delish!! Thank you.
        I did a toast, but I am a Riesling girl. I hope Gladys understands that reds are not my thing. I am educating myself on them though.

      • Erica

        Tara! I am so glad! I found out in the midst of cooking that my Mom doesn’t go for milk or half and half… since the canned class we get usually have gives us almost 4 cups of juice… she gets the HEAVY CREAM! Definitely not low calorie. (And a moment where I gave a little prayer that your chowder turned out! Oh, I added a dash or two of granulaTed garlic.) Ours was really good this evening… I say this humbly, even though I made it entirely by myself this year!

        Gladys would understand the white… it is her granddaughters that enjoy the reds. Actually, I don’t remember wine being around when I was a kid and don’t remember my grandma drinking much. Occasional beer with pizza, and that time my dad and aunt taught her to do tequila shots! LOL!

    • Wanda

      Christmas Eve – Prime rib, popovers, roast potatoes,

      Christmas Day- Baked ham, cornbread/mushroom dressing, kale (instead of collard greens), sweet potato pone, turnips, chocolate chestnut cake (making this for the first time), and Jamaican black cake. And leftovers from Christmas Eve. We always add in some English influence (from hubby’s side) of Christmas crackers with the party hats and riddles.

      • Dee

        Tara, what a wonderful gift to give your Secretary and family. I’m in awe of your kindness. Really great to hear everyone’s recipes, traditions etc. It makes me happy to hear about all it! Thank you! Merry Christmas to all. Make some good memories. Love, lots of hugs, Dee

  12. Prime rib with horseradish…omg delicious! Since we’re a Low Country tribe, it’s shrimp and grits, collards, and cornbread for dinner. We’ll start with a champagne brunch, cheese pennies, date-pear-Brie appetizers, and sausage balls to sustain us til dinner. Dessert will be pound cake, pumpkin cheesecake, homemade cannoli, and truffles.

    • Dee

      MTP and Liz, both menus sound wonderful, thanks for sharing! Yumm

    • hannahkingrose

      Lizbeth Sc, did my invitation get lost in the mail??? That must be what happened. I know your southern hospitality wouldn’t have allowed you to forget your TamaraTattles friend when putting in a spread like that right? That sounds so good that my mouth is watering right now.

      • Come on, we do Christmas in the Holy City, right downtown across from the Citadel. We have friends from New Orleans joining us this year. More of a good thing is more of a good thing! ?❤️ Love and peace.

  13. sandra

    Merilyn, I’m so sorry. There can not be anything worse than to bury a child. I’m sending you hugs and loving thoughts. Peace be with you. From a friend you didn’t know you had. I have always enjoyed your posts, but today my dear my heart breaks for you. I will be checking out your son’s pictures.

  14. i hope everyone has the happiest of christmases and the best new year. god bless us everyone. and the presence of loved ones outweighs the presents truly. <3

  15. Dee

    Dear Tamara, thank you for the cards! Hilarious! I’m the first Santa. Merry Christmas to you and Banjo, lots of hugs and love, Dee

  16. SaraSally

    I REMEMBER: When I was 5, my siblings and I built a ‘stable’ in our back yard because we wanted a horse for Christmas. We used every rusted nail, scrap of metal, lumber, palm leaves that a kid could find within reach in our little town.

    Come Christmas morning…no horse under the tree. Rather, six of us nine kids rec’d bicycles & tricycles which was a tall order for my Dad’s paycheck (single income, 9 kids & a first class in the US Navy.)
    Thx for the memories Mom & Dad.

  17. Oh Christmas time, stressful Christmas time…I hosted my annual Christmas party last night at my house, and today am sitting amid the ruins while I watch a little Tom Brady and drink a nice cup of tea. Then I will have to start putting my house back together in time to host Christmas eve, complete with 4 overnight guests. Still have to finish shopping for my adult children and their significant others-what to get them is the hardest thing every year. We used to give them money because anything else I bought was met with less enthusiasm than I like-but now they’re both self sufficient and it seems kind of silly to give money when they both make a good living as is. So I’m trying to get all kinds of “stocking stuffer” type things…we’ll see how that goes, but I’m pretty sure there will be lots of eye rolling as they open their gifts. OH WELL.

    Don’t forget to enjoy the Christmas season as much as you can, because after that, it’s just a slow descent into the dead of winter, dry skin and the urge to hibernate. May the presidential race keep us all more entertained than frustrated, and may spring come sooner rather than later!!

  18. cobe

    I am opting out of Christmas once again.

    And I love it.

    I feel like the only one.

    • fivecatsownme

      I think that is great. I woud love to go spend Christmas at a nice resort on the beach with a trashy novel and a funny colored drink with an umbrella in it.

      • Sounds similar to most aussie’s christmas. Just a family, a beach, 30 degrees celcius or higher. Although, annoying drunk relatives arr usually involved.

      • fivecatsownme

        I grew up in So Cal. Sunshine at Xmas. Your December is summer. If I were well to do, I’d live in the summer all year around. Unfortunately, drunk relatives occur every where.

      • Wanda

        Being a New Yorker, I spent Christmas in Palm Springs once and it felt sooooo wierd without snow or the cold temps. And the fake Christmas trees around the hotel swimming pool only made it worse.

  19. Deb

    Last Friday I had dinner with an old friend of over 15 years. He is an attorney and three years ago he lost his position with a bank as in house counsel. Times have been tough for him since then. He is doing agency work , I think document review for various law firms but work is getting scarce. He told me that he has nothing to live for and that he knows he will never again have the position and money and thus the ability to live the way he wants to. His health is bad and he is drinking heavily along with taking pills at night to sleep and most likely he is also drinking after taking his pill. He is an atheist and he does not fear death. He has simply given up and is seriously depressed. I feel helpless as he has made the decision that he has nothing good to look forward to. I hate the thought of losing my old friend. He is in his early fifties. It’s just so sad. I care very much for him but feel helpless.

    • Katherine 2.0

      That is very sad, Deb, to feel like yesterday’s news and that all your good times are in the rear view mirror. Sounds like you are there for him, and sometimes that is all a friend can do – be a good listener.

    • fivecatsownme

      Oh Deb, so sad for you.

    • Deb, that’s a tough situation for him and put you in a really difficult place as well. If you can stand it, I would just be there for him–maybe gently suggest that he seeks some kind of counseling, but if he says no, then that’s his choice. Hugs. Tough one.

    • Erica

      Unless you can drag his butt to a soup kitchen to show him that his position and money aren’t everything – there isn’t much you can do.

      Deb – once you recommend either NA, or AA, or counseling, you have done what you can. I am so sorry that you are going through this.

      Once I suspected one of my best friends was suicidal. This was in my college years. Thankfully, I approached my adolescent psychology professor – a man who taught part time, and practiced privately part time – with my concerns. His FIRST WORDS to me were YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER WELL BEING. Then he explained that he not only said this as a dr. of psychology, but as a person whose sister took her own life.

      I say the same to you. I hope he makes it. But more importantly, I don’t want you to go into a downward spiral because of his condition.

  20. I don’t know how much more I can take. If I listed all of the stuff that is a downer right now, you guys would think I’m crazy. Warning: please skip, I have to vent.

    Basically: husband is an asshole, the business I own is doing terribly, my kids hate dad (they ask if can’t I divorce him and get custody), I was in a bad car accident a month ago, that I was not at fault for but they are trying to prosecute me, because the guy who caused it is a certain kind of government employee who gets many privileges. (They couldn’t even write me a ticket because I was sitting, still, not doing anything — but they know they will likely pay dearly – he totaled my car with a bike going 90+!)… I have zero money so I can’t leave husband and he even used the insurance money for my new car. So no car now for me, lol… I do have injuries and am in even more pain than before. To top it off, I have a horrible Perioral dermatitis rash on my face. I have zero support or friends because he’s so possessive, and my mom is nutso.

    I just don’t know how much more I can take :(

    I don’t get it, I do constant fundraising and charity for many causes; I try to do everything right. I think my husband has bad juju, because ever since we got married things have been bad. When I met him, I was set for life with savings and doing great. Now, I have nothing again. He’s mean, impatient, reckless, has constant road rage even when not on the road, and wastes money. Did I mention mean and selfish? He chose a business partner for our business which I alone funded and raised over a million dollars for – and the guy stole, got us sued, and ran the biz into the ground. I even support the government agency of the guy who hit me, constantly donating to them in the community in many ways.

    Husband told me we had no money for gifts for birthday or Xmas for me. Fine :) It is about the THOUGHT. I am happy if the bills are paid :) Then he went and bought himself a $10k motorcycle – for fun – which required several thousand dollars down. He’s used it twice in one month.

    And did I mention we are broke! Lol :) I’m scraping together what I can to give my boys Xmas :))) and maybe to get out….

    Anyways, I know no one can probably bear to read this, but thank you for giving me the venting space Tamara. I’m sorry for being annoying.

    Sorry Tamara and readers. I am a positive person. Always look on the bright side. But geez… my thoughts are with all of you and your issues as well :) Merilyn, I’m so sorry for you losing your son, you are a strong person :) your son sounds like an amazing person with an amazing mom! I’m grateful my son was not hurt in our car accident. I’ll keep you in my thoughts ?

    • Cat

      I read your post, Alexa.

      Personally, I see all of your problems boiling down to one big problem: Your husband. Since you have given so much to charity, you should not feel one bit of guilt in seeking out help to get away and start over. You and your kids deserve happiness and peace of mind.

      My EX became very greedy and self absorbed after he got his degree. Luckily, we had no children to worry about. And it was really scary leaving. But in the long run, it was the best thing for me.

      He is quite wealthy now, from what I hear. I am on a fixed income. But, I no longer have to worry about not being good enough. I can live on my own terms. When we divorced, I waived alimony. Many people think this was stupid. Maybe it was. But I didn’t want to be tied to him for the rest of my life. I don’t regret my decision in that regard.

      Your situation is different. You have kids to worry about. Please, look into some charities that can help you. I understand you are a giver. But, it’s time to receive for a change. Charity begins at home.

      Good luck! And Merry Christmas!

      • hannahkingrose

        Totally agree Cat. I read it too Alexa. Not worth the pain of staying. I had kids and didn’t ask for alimony just child support after 15 years with him. Just wanted my life back. Now I’ve been happily married the 2nd time for 17 years. Smartest move I ever made. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

    • fivecatsownme

      Alexa, you are a victim of spousal abuse. Get to the closest women’s shelter. You are smart and resourceful. Hock what ever you can and get the hell out of there. They will help you with an atty. Dont tell anybody. Just grab your boys and do it. You can start over. I have faith in you.

    • alexa2626 hugs, I hope things get better

    • Wanda

      I read your post Alexa. Sorry you are going through so much right now. “God bless the child who got his own”. Often in marital relationships, money determines who has the power. If you are not ready to leave yet, at least start squirreling money away so that when you are ready you can either get out of this relationship or you can remain but have a smile on your face realizing that you can leave whenever you want.

  21. tattlesandbattles

    Merilyn I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. Today is the one year anniversary of the loss of my sons dad. The holidays are hard especially for his mom that turned 105 yesterday. Even though we were divorced we were best friends and spent Christmas together.

    I belong to a horse rescue, and we got bad news that we have to move by Feb. The owners are selling the property and didn’t give us the option to buy it. We have found a new place, but it will be expensive to move, luckily it’s close. The horses we rescue if not sound enough to find forever homes are used in our therapy programs for veterans, sexual abuse survivors, foster kids, and others. We have a fundraising page but I don’t think TT would allow me to post it. If you are on face book you can find our page at mea olas place. Even if you are depressed reading about our horses will put a smile on your face. Be sure to read about two of our miracles, Rowdy and Spider, and why we bought a donkey for Rowdy. We have pictures and videos that will make you happy. CAT come on over, I hope they bring you joy.

    Merry Christmas TT, Banjo, and everyone here.

  22. crampina

    Alexa please leave your husband any way you safely can. Your own children must be miserable so do it for their happiness and well being.

  23. So I’ve been at the airport longer than my flight lasts SMF TO BUR Sacramento to Burbank, I’ve been here all day trying to get home to my honey and family. This has got to be the longest delay ever. Oh BTW no compensation for weather delays so $500 round trip ticket and my whole day has been abruptly halted. Bah humbug

    • I’m sorry your trip was so annoying. I’m hoping you’re happily home by now. I try to remember what my husband used to tell me when I was frustrated or upset: “Baby, if time or money will fix it, it’s not important.” He also comforted me with: “They’re not shootin’ at us, and they can’t kill us.” He was a Vietnam vet, older and wiser than I, but infinitely patient with my nonsense. I miss him in my life. Enjoy your family now that you’re finally there! ?

    • MissMe, sorry your stuck in Sacramento, awful. it’s ludicrous the cost to fly the west coast or in California. I can fly across the country, if I book a special, cheaper than it is to fly this state.
      A big peeve of mine.

  24. tattlesandbattles

    Alexa, I was a paralegal and worked with women’s shelters mainly helping with orders of protection. There is most likely a hot line you can call and they will tell you where and what you should do, most shelters are in a secrete location, and unless you or your kids are in immediate danger (then you get out and call police) it’s better to have a plan of action. You should get all important papers together, as birth and marriage certificates, insurance policies, things like that. The help line can give you more info but most importantly they will listen to you. Leaving isn’t just walking out that door, some women try several times before they can actually take that step. Take care and be safe

  25. tattlesandbattles

    Christmas Eve Dinner we start with beet soup. Main meal is smoked and garlic Polish sausage- pierogi- sauerkraut with barley, pork ribs, and mushrooms- salmon.

  26. Having my last dinner with my partner at Justin Blementhal restaurant in Melbourne (no housewives in sight – probs onky came for the opening).

    Merry Christmas all! Accidentally wished my jewish boss a merry christmas….awks….

    • Cat

      Last year, I wished my oncologist a Merry Christmas. I think he might be a Muslim, he looked insulted and disgusted. Good thing my treatments are over. Oopsie!

    • Hope all is good with you and your partner. Hope you meant last dinner of the tear, not last dinner together.
      Micheal you are a hoot!

      Happy Holidays to you young man.

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