It’s time to head back down under to see watch these witches are doing. Melbourne truly is a beautiful city. Too bad is it so far away. Lydia goes over to some idiot woman’s house to gossip about the girls. But first, Lydia completely misses the woman’s joke about not having carbs since 1964. It completely goes over Lydia’s pointy little head and she takes it literally and is baffled. I often say I haven’t cleaned my kitchen since the 1970’s but it would seem obvious that I didn’t even have a kitchen to clean in the 1970s. Are there really many people out there as stupid as Lydia? Apparently the woman’s name is Lisa. Lisa says never to thin, never too rich and Lydia tosses her head back and laughs hysterically. In her talking head Lydia talks about Lisa’s hilarious one-liners. Clearly, she is not familiar with the Duchess of Windsor. I suppose that would require some sort of reading on her part.
Anyway, Lydia goes on to tell Lisa that Gina totally deserved the treatment that she and Andrea gave her at Mission Beach. When Lisa asks who she is closest to in the group she says no one. Then for some reason we hear about Lisa’s life, which we care about not at all.
Poor Andrea is still trying to hawk her book on parenting. She says she knows it is what working mothers want to read, even though he focus group hated the book and looked at her like she had to heads. Undeterred, Andrea goes to speak with a publisher. The publisher suggests that she start with a blog to begin developing a readership base. Andrea keeps saying she is a journalist. I thought she sold face creams out of her husband’s plastic surgery office on days that did not end in “y.” The publicist is kindly explaining in many different ways she has no interest in her book, but Andrea is hearing none of it. Andrea says that she is writing the book solely to get back at someone who told her she didn’t love her children because she works. The publisher is visually appalled and suggests that building up conflict is not the way to go. In her talking head, Andrea basically says “I don’t need no stupid publisher!” Because, delusional.
Jackie and Ben go to meet with someone about their cocktail line. They seem to think that they will be having a launch party in four weeks. The consultant tells them they are putting the cart before the horse. Jackie is hoping her angels will just make everything happen. The next guy they talk to explains to their drinks have no shelf life and the bottles are all wrong. These people don’t have any idea what they are doing at all. Ben says they learned about a lot of little details that they had not considered, like the bottles and the liquid. Yes, Ben, you don’t just create a label and the rest just magically happens by angels.
Lydia goes to meet with Andrea? Andrea looks different in every scene. Andrea is having a party for her new face cream shop and she invited everyone, but she plans to disinvite Gina.
Janet goes to a plastic surgeon to consult on more operations for her son Jake who was badly burned in a fire and has undergone a horrific amount of surgery. This surgeon is consulting to reconstruct his face. He suggest that a professional needs to coordinate his surgeries.
Andrea’s launch party appears to really be for her husband’s new surgical center. Chyka’s company was used for catering and design. Jackie gives a bitchy talking head about Gina not being invited to the party. Janet does one as well. All the women are standing around slamming Gina and Chyka tries to get them to move on. But they continue to swipe at Gina the entire party, it seems.
Finally, a Gina scene. It’s very short. She calls her stylist to help her get ready for, I believe, Chyka’s dog party.
Jackie and Lydia go lingerie shopping for Jackie’s upcoming date. Jackie spends four grand on a bra and panties. They go on a date and Jackie asks what the most expensive bottle of wine they have is, and orders that. She doesn’t seem to care what it might taste like. Later they go on a romantic boat ride down the Yarra. These two are very materialistic. Jackie gets diamond earring and is conveniently not wearing any earrings when she receives them. It seems the whole “trying to hard” thing is universal with the housewives.
Chyka’s party is over the top elegant with the most gorgeous food imaginable. The party is simply stunning and the food is definitely the star. The ladies talking without Gina there was all about Andrea and her book cover. I think that is why Lydia and Andrea hate Gina so much, she gets all the focus on her when she is in the mix. And then the conversation turns to Gina.
Gina arrives and everyone fake greets Gina. The girls manage to behave and toast to moving forward a few times, but sadly I don’t think the vipers in the group are capable of that.
Next Week: Gina ends her friendship with Janet. Chyka finally has the dog party. Lydia is mad at Janet for calling her brainless. And Ben starts to realize they have no business making a cocktail line.