We begin Below Deck with dumbass Andrew trying to vacuum up the water from the porthole incident, only the vacuum is set to blow and not suck. So essentially Andrew sucks at everything. Even sucking. Amy is telling a sob story to Kat while drying the same glass for half an hour. Kat couldn’t care less. I am not really feeling Amy yet.
Georgia wants some “beefcake” so Andrew is sent to do a little pole dancing. They are provided with fake money to throw at them. Georgia and the girls are happy and Andrew is kept out of everyone’s hair.
Kat and Ben are both trying not to cheat on their significant others with each other. They have hooked up in the past.
Amy and the southern guests get along well with Amy. The accents really come out when you are in a room with just southerners. It’s not deliberate it just happens.
Jennice and Kelley are having a flirtmance. Kelley has a girlfriend of a month and a half before charter season began. I don’t think he is that into her. Jennice has not mentioned to Kelley that she has a boyfriend.
What is this 6:55 am they are speaking of? Is that a real thing? Andrew overslept. Eddie is trying to let Andrew know he needs to be more serious about his work. Today the stews need to set up a beach picnic. All Kat does is complain. Katie is annoyed with her attitude.
Jennice is selected to go to the beach park with the guests. It looks amazing. So many cool rock formations! I want to go!
Andrew misses his mommy. Amy cares. She’s a good person. I don’t care.
The guests are on the way to the picnic and Kat is such a whiner! I thought she was trying to do better for this season. Despite all the bitching the picnic is beautiful. Jennice and Kelley spend time talking on the beach. Jennice says in her talking head that she has been away from her boyfriend for a long time, and that she has never had a “real boyfriend.” What does this mean? She has an imaginary boyfriend like several of the single RHOA? Kelley tells Jennice that he doesn’t think he will end up marrying the girl he is seeing now. She must be loving watching this season. So far he has said he likes his dog better than he likes her, and that he isn’t thinking long term with her. There is nothing wrong with either of those feelings, but perhaps national television is not the best place to put that information out there. Poor Eddie, he has the incompetent Andrew and two star crossed lovers to supervise.
Kat is bitching about having to fold napkins. It’s really not that hard, Kat. Kat is supposed to be an old pro at this. Have none of her other charters had dinner napkins? One of the guests walks through and teaches Kat how to fold napkins. Really, Kat? This is your best effort to redeem yourself? Katie is furious that the guests are folding their own napkins. If she tells Captain Lee about this Kat will have a big problem.
Speak of the devil, there is everyone’s favorite captain now. He is all spiffed up for dinner. I don’t care for the look. I like him a bit more mussed. I am sure Georgia will take care of that for me with her ample breastesses. Captain Lee has been asked back for a command dinner performance. He says he hopes she keeps her assets on that side of the table this time. Not a chance Captain Lee. Not a chance. Georgia is making her tits do tricks at the table. I am not kidding. One of here friends is trying out how the name Georgia Rosbach would look on credit cards. Captain Lee pretends to be disinterested. Georgia needs to give him a couple shots. Oh wait. He’s a married man. Are boat captains like rock stars that pretend they are single to keep their fan base interested? The guests compliment the staff to the captain. Katie says that the verbal tip is the kiss of death. When a guest compliments you to the captain, that is all you are getting. Now Kat is shitting her pants.
I just realized why I suddenly had an aversion to Amy when she started her childhood trauma stories. I actually appreciated a good childhood trauma story. But Amy is reminding me of Danielle Murphree! UGH. Sorry Amy. But y’all do favor each other.
Andrew goes to wake Ben up to make chocolate chip cookies for a guest. Andrew seems terrified of Ben. Later, Andrew can’t even tie up the boat when it gets to dock. Georgia and her party were very pleased with the trip. Georgia is so sweet. She was practically crying tears of happiness thanking Captain Lee. She hands him a very thick envelope of tips. Take that Katie. In the south we are just raised to thank people for treating us well. Katie looks like a yankee. It’s tip time with Captain Lee! The tip was $15,000. That’s $1,300 each. Captain Lee threatens Andrew a little bit. But he gives him his $1,300. The crew is not happy with Captain Lee’s generosity. Ben tells Andrew he did not earn his tip. This equal tipping policy of Captain Lee’s is a bit socialist. What motivation does Andrew have to improve other than the disdain of all of his crewmates at this point? Andrew calls Ben a dick. Oh Andrew, you are not allowed to speak to Ben that way.
Kate tries to bond with Kat. Kate says she just got a college degree to please her parents. Kate had a sugar mama in college, who had a sugar daddy. Kate tells more obnoxious stories about wanting to marry rich. The crew then goes out drinking in Nanny Cay. The Kelley and Amy childhood story is retold and then Kate asks about how Kat and Amy knew each other from working together in the past. It’s like pulling teeth to get the info. I’m guessing there was a penis involved.
Kelley and Amy talk on the beach and Kelley cries because he is so happy to be with his sister. They have been through some hard times and Kelley is grateful to be working with her. That is sweet and drunken. Then Kelley, Jennice are swinging on three person swing in front of some concrete stairs at a bar. Um, really? This can’t be the first time three drunk people have cracked their heads in this fashion. Jennice must have been the only sober one because she doesn’t fall out. Kelley really took one to the head and was knocked out. He has to go to the hospital.
Next week: It looks like Kelley is off the charter, and Eddie is left with Jennice and Andrew. Eddie tells Andrew he needs to step up. Andrew says he will be getting all the “bitch work” and that Jennice is more of a man than he is on this job. That’s not her fault, Andrew. That is all you. It looks like Andrew quits. Also Bitchmode Cowgirl comes out of Kate when a bunch of high maintenance bitches like her show up for the next charter. The deckhands are dropping like flies! Will Amy leave with her brother? Will Kat and Ben hook up? I can’t wait for next week to find out!