Well, this WWHL should be good. Jim is the drinking word! Right away David Arquette says the best part of the night was the whale vagina comment. Then Andy tries to get him to repeat the comment and they get it wrong. Because half the people who use the term douchebag don’t even know the literal meaning. Dina’s usage was so phenomenal I might even start to like her a little bit, ” Jim’s level of douchebaggery is so large it could clean a whale’s vagina.” Please don’t tell Caroline I am softening up a bit on Dina for that.
Amber jumps in to say that Dina doesn’t know him well enough to make that comment. Amber says to know Jim is to love Jim. Newsflash Amber: Your husband’s reputation for douchebaggery preceded the show. A quick Google search draws unprecedented numbers of responses. A trillion lawsuits including an intriguing one where someone was suspected to have been murdered before a shady business meeting that Jim was supposed to be at, allegedly.
So after Amber tries the to know him is to love him speech, David gives a very sarcastic “I’m sure” response and quickly goes on to say that as a viewer he has a whole lot of crawling out of a hole to do because the way he was talking down to the ladies….
Amber interrupts to say David needs to understand that she has just been attacked and he was defending her in the moment. David is not having it. I love this guy. He says what about that douche talking head where he says he is going to litigate people to death. David says that was also not a great look. And Amber has nothing to do but laugh because everyone is laughing at her feeble defense of the weasel. David jokes that he seems like a sweet enough guy. Amber then says, “You better watch it or he will sue you!” Yes we know Amber, suing people is like sport fucking for Jim. I guess he doesn’t have much opportunity for sport fucking so he has to get himself off by dragging everyone into court with frivolous lawsuits. Andy is just quietly loving this and we are only at minute three.
Amber seems very uncomfortable. So Andy rolls a montage of the women bitching about Amber. It was bad. David says he is starting to feel a little sorry for her. He’s lying. No one feels sorry for Amber.
Andy does a one word association game with Amber about her cast mates. Melissa – Backstabber Teresa – strong, powerful woman (and she can’t even play word association correctly) Nicole Shakespearean Tragedy Dina – kinda zen but I’m kinda not liking her right now (god she sucks at word association) TeRESSA – Miserable. So she hates everyone but the felon. Perfect. I should point out that Andrew mocked her hair toss on the stupid mortgage commercial and made her do it for every word. Always grinding that organ Andy is…
Next is a ridiculous montage of Jim saying stupid things. Amber tries to defend the entire montage by saying she was just attacked and he was overheated. Which David has already explained does not explain the insanity in his talking head. At one point David accidentally touched Amber’s foot with his foot and he starts screaming for Jim not to give him the beat down. Andy and David laugh and laugh at the thought.
During the dumb game of the night. Amber has to give David objects while he is blindfolded to guess what they are. She is not supposed to say anything but she does. She hands him a disposable diaper and says, “These I will not have anymore.” David says, “hair extensions!” And Andy nearly falls out of his chair laughing.
Questions for Amber
If it is such a big deal to be around the Giudices legally, why did you agree to do the show? Amber says, because this was her dream and her husband was just supporting her. And initially Jim thought he could just be in scenes with the family rather than with all the guys.
I guess she could not say that Jim made the whole fraud prosecutor story up to draw attention to himself and now he is butt hurt because people are not a dumb as he thought and his made up ridiculous story is now biting him in the ass.
Holy shit there is this idiot gay dude on the phone who is an Amber fan! His question doesn’t make any sense. I guess is IQ is not above 12. That’s the token Amber fan.
Andy asks why she can’t just own up to Melissa that she said what she said? Amber says that if Nicole had approached her in a more diplomatic manner she would have apologized. That wasn’t even the question. The question is why did she keep denying to MELISSA, the person she said it to, over and over and over. She just answered a totally different question. David just keeps mocking her.
How do you think you and Jim have been received so far, and PLEASE be honest! Amber says she is 50/50 but that poor Jim is not being received very well at all. She gets that Jim is polarizing.
Poll Question: Whose side are you on, Amber’s or Melissa ? Melissa wins with 81%
P.S. Remember when I said that the TBA for Tuesday’s show meant they were still negotiating with someone? Turns out it is fucking Kim Kardashian.