Ladies and gents, What follows is a BB Recap like no other, Thumb typed in real time by the one, the only TEECEE!
Tables turn. And turn again
Sunday night. Two hours late. Yeah. Thanks CBS.
The “Previously…” portion is 20 minutes long. While I’m waiting for the show to start, I’ll share with you that on twitter, the houseguests wearing the Veto symbol backwards makes Ian nuts. Donny is wearing it correctly. Now I watch to see who is right or wrong.
Ok. Cut to right after Hayden’s exit. Nicole is crying because apparently people are mean and they lie and Donny is comforting her. Zach is making food. Caleb waxes poetic and no one cares.
Christine is weaselly and doesn’t know how to act because Nicole is pissed at her. And she is not sure whose ass to suck next.
Frankie lies and says he had no alliance with Christine Hayden and Nicole. Snidely he says ” it was a lovely offer you made me…” to Nicole. In front of everyone. Frankie is nasty, showing a side we have never seen; and people start believing Nicole over Frankie.
Derrick sits back and watches his handiwork. No one is looking at him. He is innocent.
Zach asks Nicole to dance. She flips out on him. He offers her an egg sammich and she storms off. Zach is killing me. He is hard to hate.
Frankie and Caleb are talking and Caleb says he has bubbles popping in his head. He kinda believes everyone about Frankie being bad. Of course he came to this conclusion all on his own. He is running the house and the architect.
BoB Comp is a tourney with an eye chart. Brackets are random instead of having the houseguest choose who goes. Victoria against Derrick. Victoria wins? Derrick had to have thrown that. Zach proves that a monkey could win this game by hitting a the buzzer not having read the clue. Nicole is first Hoh. She’s calm. She should be in Zack’s face. What you all could not see if you didn’t tune into the live feeds was Caleb inside monologuing about his controlling the game and that he’s going to be a country star. It was horrible. They switched to the flush and the fish were vomiting. Christine is the other HOH!! Zach proves that a monkey can also lose.
Frankie is shitting himself and saying he has to get to Nic and turn her around in time. He’s very sure that he can. It’s not a matter of IF. It’s just getting to her in time. That’s how confident he is in his own power to control the house. Meanwhile, Derrick has controlled everything and doesn’t need damage control because he left no fingerprints at the crime scene.
Christine and Nicole bond because Nicole has the memory of a gnat and she doesn’t remember how bad Chris fucked her.
Frankie comes in and makes a big confession that he did what everyone knows he did- played both sides. And lies some more saying that the other side of the house has turned on him. He tries to convince them that the two of them will align with Vic and Donny and have numbers.
Zach gets Nicole alone and charms her by saying Frankie and Chris are liars. Nic won’t tell him who her target is. Because she has no idea who it is. Zach offers her an alliance. He tells her about the alliance of five. Nic says Cody was in an alliance with her. Zach is surprised. Nic says Frankie told her to put up Zach Caleb Cody n Derrick. Nicole tells him she is trusting him, but her talking head she is not sure. It was a good exchange of info, further damning Frankie.
Zach tells Caleb. Caleb tells Derrick and Cody. The boys wonder if it’s Frankie or Nicole they should blame for the audacity of suggesting that the most powerful people in the house should go up. The boys decide that one of them should go up with Frankie so that they can “control” the challenge. AKA throw the challenge, keeping Frankie on the block.
Derrick gets Nicole alone and says don’t trust anyone. Even me. This guy is the best. He tells her about the plan to get Frankie out. Recounts that all of them want Frankie out. They call in Caleb who is the sacrificial lamb going up with Frankie. He’s in charge of throwing the comp. She tells caleb more about Frankie’s deception. Caleb’s talking head indicates that all of this was his idea. Oh and Amber Amber Amber.
Nomination time. Nicole is thinking she’s going to shock the world. Not sure that Christine knew. Chris nominates Donny and Zach. She explains that Donny is a mastermind and Zach put her up.
Nic noms Caleb and Frankie as expected. Frankie is shocked. Victoria wants to know when her makeup is coming. Nic throws all of Frankie’s lies on the gear table. Zach has words for Chris and Frankie. Frankie is confused about why Zach is mad. Chris is shocked that Nic nominated Frankie and Caleb. She says Nic has grown a pair and she is happy. More balls in the house for her to grope.
Commercial. How do you do this all the time. I’m scared I’m going to miss something.
During the break I will share that Chris’s husband is not happy. That may have already been mentioned here. But she’s gotten insanely gropey the last few days. So I imagine he’s got the papers in order by now. Who would have thought that the girl who looks like Geddy Lee would be the house sex kitten. I just gagged while typing that. I just don’t get why the guys are not like “get off me grenade”
Ok. We are back. Nicole, Caleb and Zach are talking. Here comes Frankie. They stop talking and Zach leaves. Nic tells Frankie that it’s not personal. Caleb talks some more in the DR about how bespoke cowpoke arranged this whole thing. Frankie feels confident with Caleb as his partner.
The BoB challenge is football related. I hope it’s not hard to understand because my index fingers hurt. Big commercial for CBS Thursday football which will fuck up BB Thursday live show. How will they handle that? Sorry. I missed the rules. I’ll just tell you who is spazzy and how much caleb does to throw the comp. Right? Cause he is throwing the comp right? Prize is two people leaving the house to go to the game next Thurs. Caleb has black lines on his face and Frankie went with lilac. Caleb will not look at Frankie. Frankie knows that he’s going to throw it. Frankie begs him not to throw it and Caleb admits he’s going to throw it. He brings up Amber ??? And tells him this is the payoff for Amber leaving. Caleb tells all to Frankie.
Zach is yelling “ain’t that the truth.” this was SO stupid. Caleb tells him he’s not playing. Well…not playing is not the same as throwing the comp. Frankie is losing it because no one likes him. He’s conjuring up what he has to do to make it better. Caleb mouths off more saying he’s the reason Frankie is going home.
Caleb sits on the sideline. But…the challenge is to pull two ropes to make a ball go up the field. Frankie is pulling both of his ropes. Hey. You know what. It might just be EASIER if you are solely in control of the ropes….huh. Zach and Donny start strong. Frankie gets a groove. Zach and Donny start to falter. Zach is trying to think and no one can see the field for the smoke. It’s tied.
Victoria orders some peanuts from the vendor and complains because there is too much salt. Not really. But it appears she is there. Donny and Zach are fighting. Frankie is ahead. Frankie is having a tiny little orgasm. Everyone is becoming aware that this is not working well. Fucking caleb ruined this whole thing.
And Frankie wins BoB. He slips and says “that is for you Ariana. And dead grandpa.” Caleb has a forest Gump talking head and I SWEAR he said “that’s all I can say about that.”
Nicole is scared. Zach and Frankie yell at each other. Frankie knows he is safe, but fucked. He says it’s time to out himself as a mogul and the brother of that pop singer kid that I’ve never heard sing. Tune in next wed for a recrap from someone who is a better recrapper than I for the big reveal.
And that’s all I have to say about that.