I am so behind on recapping lately. Mostly it’s because I have been SOFA KING tired lately. I blame the weather. It’s been either 100 degrees or 85 and rainy. Also, Big Brother has really thrown my sleep schedule, if I ever had one, off. I am going to try to get through Dance Moms without nodding off. I just made coffee and am going in.
Oh my god from the previews alone I am excited. This week the stupid B team has been allowed to go back to wherever they actually live. But since Sarah and her nightmare mother CHRISTy are local, Sarah is going to be allowed to dance with the elite team. IF CHRISTy can keep her big mouth shut. At pyramid, Abby lays into the girls for losing twice in a row. She said they were poor losers.
We begin pyramid with Chloe on the bottom. She had some bad turns. But really at the very bottom Abby? Next is Maddie, this should not be nearly as surprising as it would have been last season. Maddie is not longer Abby’s favorite. Mackenzie is. Christi is a bit giddy to see her on the bottom. Abby says Maddie is the team leader and when things go wrong everyone follows her lead. Next is Kendall, Abby searches for something to say about her. She goes with the fact that she was in the trio with Chloe’s sloppy turns. Because that is Kendall’s fault? Nia is second from the top but Abby tells her she is not flexible. Then her darling Mackenzie. Mackenzie had all sorts of issues last week. I started to wonder if this was a reverse order. Then I realized that she is being mean to all of them and putting all of them on the bottom so she can put stupid little Sarah alone on the top because she was in the winning group number. Oh, Abby.
They are going to Ohio to compete against those wily rotten apple cores! They are doing a contemporary group dance called Broken Dolls. Abby says they are her dolls and now they are broken and they let everyone see it last week. There is a duet called That Girl Has Got To Be Kissed. It’s Maddie and that rotten apple core boy Gino. Does Abby’s meanness have no bounds? This season she is doing what she hates Cathy for. She is stealing dancers from wherever she can find them.
The girls struggle with rehearsal after Abby’s rough feedback. Sarah doesn’t seem anywhere near as good as the other girls.
Meanwhile, the head worm in the rotten apples has brought in a couple of ringers for a boy/girl duet of their own. Even more devious, she has John, one of Abby’s best friends doing the choreography. Evil. Evil I tell you. God I love this show.
No one is happy with Gino joining the group. Particularly, CHRISTy who seems to think this is Sarah’s week. For some dumb reason, Sarah is the featured dancer in the group number. Sidenote: It is POURING rain. Never in recent history has there been SO MUCH FUCKING RAIN. Like three inches in an hour kind of rain. Sorry. Back to Abby. She goes up to talk to the moms for some reason. Abby says the girls’ spirit has been broken. Jill says “How did that happen?” Abby shoots back, “Not by me…” Oh please Abby, just own your evil. CHRISTy interrupts with a tattletale interjection, “They think that Sarah doesn’t deserves to be here!!!” Abby says she is thinking the same thing. As was I. As was anyone with two functioning eyeballs. Abby says that Sarah can’t carry the group to victory and if they lose it will be her fault. No Abigail, it will be your fault for putting that little girl in a group that is way over her head. Besides, we all know it will be Chloe’s fault or Nia’s.
Abby continues her reign of terror forcing Maddie to kiss Gino. It will be her first kiss. She is not happy. Kendall’s mom says Kendall will do it! Maddie says it is very awkward because Gino likes her. Gino kisses Maddie and she runs from the studio freaking out. Chloe asked if they kissed on the lips and Maddie says she had to because it’s in the dance! Meanwhile, poor Gino is standing there feeling like a fool while Abby and all the moms laugh. I guess we can add Gino to the pile of dolls with a broken spirit. It’s a clean sweep for Abby! Maddie wanted to kiss Zac Ephron for her first kiss but Cody from Big Brother would never allow that. What is with all the Zac Ephron love lately? I can’t even picture him in my head.
The group dance this week is heavy on ballet. Sarah continues to struggle. This is higher level of choreography than the elite team has been given for a while. CHRISTy thinks Gino’s dad is the devil. Abby on the other hand seems to love the pandering from a male. Sidenote: Abby has stepped up her glam this season. New wardrobe, freshly styled hair and full make-up in every scene. She looks great. I love that pink sequined top with the black pants and jacket.
At the competition, Abby sees that Cathy has a whole new crop of dancers and no choreographer. That comment was too staged. Why would she be looking for the “guest choreographer”? Abby is pissed at John. So she takes it out on Maddie and Gino in rehearsal.
First up is the rotten apple duet. It’s good. In rehearsal, they were harping on the girl to improve but I think she out danced the boy. The turns were nice but there was an awkward lift where the boys face was under the girl’s skirt. Did they not have a dress rehearsal? That was the wrong costume on the girl for that dance.
Maddie and Gino did well. I think they should easily beat the other couple. Maddie’s turns were a bit faster than Gino’s in places. But Gino had a short solo before Maddie came out and it was quite good.
Abby disagrees. Thought the apple core dance was amazing. She was not happy with Gino’s performance. I have no idea why Abby is praising the candy apples duet. It was not that great. #scripted
Wow. The rotten apples dance was AMAZING. I was mesmerized the entire time. It was kind of creepy and wonderful. The group was spot on with their synchronization. I literally said WOW out loud during their performance. They should totally win. The look on Abby’s face says it all. She has lost.
The group number has very nice costumes and make-up for a change. Sarah did better than expected with the ballet. I have a feeling CHRISTy bought her ten ballet privates a day to get her up to speed. I loved the dance. Unfortunately, Chloe took a HARD fall in the middle of the routine, but she recovered nicely. Since it was a weird sort of broken doll thing, maybe the judges will think it was intentional. Okay they won’t but, poor Chloe. The girls tell her that if they lose it is not her fault. And they are right. There were some serious spacing issues on the right side of the stage. Partially do to the choreography, it lacked the precision of the rotten apples group number. I can’t see them winning with this, but it was a great number with a handful of minor issues. Based on editing, I think they probably will win, but I would give it to the rotten apples. Christi is such a good dance mom to Chloe.
The rotten apples win the duet with Maddie and Gino coming in second. I totally disagree. And ALDC beats the rotten apples with their group number. Again, I disagree. Although, on the technical judging card, Chloe’s fall and very fast recovery probably didn’t count against them that much. Even the ALDC moms are shocked. Abby goes after Gino for the duet loss. He literally throws him and his father out of the dressing room never to return again. At least the ALDC moms were nice to him. Well, except for CHRISTy who informs Gino’s dad that Abby has “seen the light.” Adios, Gino, we hardly knew ya.
Next week: Abby puts Nia in a dog leash onstage. Maddie is in LA. And all the girls have solos.