Back at Lizzie’s lovely beach house dinner, Tamra is literally grabbing Shannon by the head and pushing her away from Heather. You are the one that lit this fire Tamra, why don’t you just sit back and cackle while it burns? Tamra goes running through the house after Shannon grabbing her everywhere she can and screeching at her to STOP IT! I would have hauled off and knocked that bitch to the ground. She tells Tamra to let go of her and get away from her. Shannon pleads with Lizzie to get Tamra to let go of her. David finally comes out and tells Tamra to give her some space and she does. David goes to get her coat and Tamra is right back to grabbing Shannon by the wrists! Why doesn’t Lizzie pull Tamra off of Shannon? Why doesn’t anyone see how much Tamra is pouring gasoline on the fire?
Heather and Tamra go on the balcony to pretend like they care that Shannon is having some sort of breakdown. Tamra lies straight to Heather’s face. She admits to “trying to restrain” Shannon but says that Shannon went nuts and broke her hold.
Vicki goes out to comfort Shannon who is outside with David. David just needs to take Shannon home. Meanwhile, Tamra and Heather have decided to ask Terry if they should call an ambulance because Shannon is having a psychotic break. Christian tells them to simmer down, and that Shannon does not need an ambulance. Thank God there is one sane man at the party. Eddie is thrilled to have everyone occupied so that he can text with his boyfriend. Lizzie looks horrified in the direction of Heather and Tamra. Tamra and Heather are being ginormous cunt bags. Tamra says she is worried Shannon is suicidal. Heather starts making it all about Heather whispering to Tamra that it is her fault that she can’t get past her issues with Shannon. Heather is shaking! Which makes no fucking sense. Tamra is blaming Shannon for her bad behavior toward Heather. The idiots outside “helping” Shannon can not seem to get her in a car with her husband so she is going to do an encore before leaving.
Heather starts right in with Vicki when Vicki comes back inside telling her about how all this is affecting her. Heather says Shannon fanned the flames between Heather and Tamra. Heather is a cuntsack did I mention that? Vicki is the voice of reason and explains to Heather that a bit of human kindness would have gone a long way when interacting with Shannon. Heather isn’t having it. Shannon comes in to properly say goodbye to the host and hostess and give a very short apology speech to everyone. Tamra is screaming SHANNON! SHANNON through the whole thing like the cuntbag that she is. Tamra tries to get her to stay for more abuse but she politely says that David wants to go. Heather and Tamra smile smugly. When Shannon leaves he says everyone can have one fireball shot and then they all need to go. I love Christian. He refuses to do any more toasts, so Terry and Heather elbow each other for the privilege. Heather takes the honors. She gets started and I think that it was Christian who said, “Why are you making a toast about yourself?” BURN! Christian is my new favorite househusband which is great because my love for Ken Todd ended a few months ago.
Heather and Tamra got to lunch with Danielle. They all claim that they were too drunk to remember the dinner party. Tamra says she was shocked that Shannon would go after her, she has never done that before. And she didn’t do it last night either Tamra. She is a really skilled liar, I am starting to think Simon should get the kids. Heather brings up the whole “Dubrows want to take the Beadors down” and makes sure Danielle knows just how funny that is to her. Because, Danielle who? Is that Pam? Tamra can’t even admit she started the take down rumor in her talking head. She can’t remember, she’s not sure, Shannon is probably confused.
The two cuntbags and the cuntbag in training start gossiping about David. Again. Which is what got them in this situation. Are you kidding me? Tamra says she can’t imagine how she treats David and Heather nods and mutters affirmatively, sentient being that she is, how could her heart not break for David’s woes. Tamra adds, oh yes and they have not slept in the same bed for years. “Really?” replies Heather, clearly grief stricken on David’s behalf. Tamra adds, “And she drinks vodka straight.” Yes, she did. The girl who admits she has no recollection of the previous night because she was wasted. The one we saw screaming for a fireball shot, the one who laid on Shannon’s kitchen counter begging her to do shots with her, that one just said Shannon needs help with her drinking. All three harpies so agree that Shannon needs professional help. I swear I just want to slap the false compassion of all of their stupid botoxed faces.
OMG! Heather says, ” I can do crazy, I just can’t do mean!” Again proving there is no God because once again, lightning does not strike this bitch. Heather, miss crank up and bull and throw the bitch off? Heather, who last night basically tried to get Shannon a 5150 involuntary mental health commitment? Heather, who rather than apologize for gossiping about Shannon threw her out of her house? That bitch can’t do mean? She and Tamra are clearly trying to gaslight this bitch. They had her half way in the ambulance before Christian stopped them. Are these two really this delusional or did they write this script knowing we would all lose our minds? BTW Heather, that is a fugly jacket in your mean mugging photo up there. Tamra wonders how to help. The cunts decide to take her on a girls trip so that they can hack her into little pieces and bury her in the forrest. Danielle seems interested in David, so she can console the grieving widower. I have no doubt if this happens, Bravo will film it and edit it to look like it was Shannon’s fault.
Brooks and Vicki are at a beautiful beachfront restaurant having cocktails and rehashing the party. Brooks asks who initiated it, Vicki says Heather and Brooks suggests Tamra. Vicki says she wants to stay on Tamra’s good side. Brooks talks about how happy he is with the relationship. Brooks wants to move in with Vicki. Brooks says his lease is up in 9 months. Brianna is still very angry. Vicki and Brianna are going to go to therapy. Because therapy with your mother about her boyfriend is what every woman who is weeks away from giving birth wants to do. In therapy, Brianna has a hormonal meltdown and says she is feeling attacked. Brianna definitely needs to move to Oklahoma and get out from under Vicki’s control. And she needs to get over herself.
Shannon goes to Dr. Moon to get her stress relief treatment. Lizzie calls and is very supportive to Shannon. Lizzie invites Shannon to her birthday and tells her Heather has already declined. Shannon is excited about that.
Tamra is folding towels with Ryan and she brings up that Simon wants custody of the kids. Ryan tells Tamra he is moving at the end of the month to Auburn, California. His new Instagram honey has three kids. Tamra has a meltdown about how she has nobody. Tamra wants to meet the girl. So apparently the girl is in town because she is coming over to meet the family. Sarah is pretty so Tamra thinks she looks like her. Sarah says she comes down to Orange county on business. She is a gun supplier for military and police departments. They ask if she is packing and she shows them her gun. She has three girls 11,9 and 4. Tamra feels like she is being replaced. She is worried they will get married and not tell her. Sarah lost both of her parents. Her mom had cancer and her dad passed away a year ago. Tamra cries like it affected her personally. It was obvious that her father killed himself, and yet they had to ask and then follow up asking how exactly he did it. Then they drop the news that they are getting married on September 6th. They have a planner and a location.
Tamra stars slamming shit around in the kitchen. She has a nuclear meltdown slamming the kitchen table. Little Miss Shannon Needs Professional Help is drunk and out of control and freaking out the bride-to-be. She screaming that she should be there to pick out dresses and chose the venue. Because it is all about Tamra! How could they do this to her? “This is not right!” she screams. And the meltdown just goes on and on and on.
Next week is Lizzie’s birthday and everyone seems to be cancelling. Vicki tries to get Heather and Tamra to apologize. And it’s Valentine’s day.