Last night was one of those Big Brother challenges that do not have a winner when the episode ends. I think someone in the house referred to it as mental endurance. So I was engrossed in a wine fueled evening of watching the live feeds with the TV on mute. Unfortunately my TV was showing WWHL and I glanced over and noticed, Nene. I am sick to my stomach at the thought of watching this, but I have to know WTF is going on.
Is Andy drinking rosé ?He’s already a pussy. He’s so damned happy! Ugh. Andy and Jeff play the crotch game and he mentions Scott Baio. That is interesting because Scott has become a Jesus Warrior or something and was very offended and pretty much refused to play. This has made Scott Baio Andy’s least favorite guest. Then he says that Nene has been on the show the most. Is that true? A Nene montage of noses follows. Andy says that Nene has been on a grand total of 20 times and “he loves that lady so much.” Oh god. He totally spazzes out like Elvis has arrived in the clubhouse to admit that he really isn’t dead. It’s unbearable. He professes his undying love. They double kiss. It’s over the top fangirl time for Andy.
Nene has her usual greasy legs. Nene calls Andy a shady queen. Then she says Jeff is even a bigger shady queen. Nene really likes Apollo. Nene has talked to Phaedra but not about Apollo. Jeff makes a joke about Apollo stealing his credit card. Nene wins an award for calling Kim a trashbox. Martha Stewart was also nominated and she comes in to take Nene’s award away from her. Andy is way less enthused to see Martha and asks for a birthday spanking. She declines.
Jackée gets an award for lifetime agreement for being drunk in the clubhouse. While the clip of her acceptance at some other location played, Jeff asks Nene what she was such a horrible bitch at the reunion. Jeff is the only redeeming quality of this entire fiasco. Nene told Jeff that she didn’t want to go but she had to because she was contractually obligated. If EVERY THING GOES ACCORDING TO THE DAMN PLAN, THAT SHOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE FOR THE UPCOMING SEASON!
I am not even going to ask my source about this. I am terrified of the answer. #FixItJesus!