Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Recap: Sex and The Secret

marriage_boot_reality1-592x330Is this show over yet? I love having something to recap on a Friday night but I must admit this show is a bit, okay a lot, ridiculous. Yet, I can’t stop watching. The fact that I know almost all of these people from other shows makes it interesting. We pick up where we left off with Roger and JWow arguing about some leaked tabloid story. Roger tells Jenni she should have listened to him and kept her mouth shut. Roger who up until now was getting a somewhat decent edit is throwing a fucking tantrum about there being a camera guy and them being miked. Um, Roger, that is what you signed up for.  The story is the one I suspected about Jenni being pregnant. Apparently, they had not told their family yet and they will be finding out from the media. I understand that is pretty crappy but so is Roger’s violent outburst around his pregnant wife. I really think this marriage is doomed.

The white Oprah has already figured out that Jenni is pregnant because she has not had a drop of alcohol since she entered the house. This of course left more for Traci’s breakfasts.  Jenni and Roger are both furious. Roger is furious with Jenni and Jenni is furious with the house.  Jenni says the person attempting to sell the story is someone in the house. Maybe another participant, or perhaps production. So far that point is unclear. No wait. Jenni is blaming production. I guess she told them to explain why she could not drink. The producer comes out (always a sign of good drama) and says he was only made aware of the medical condition 17 minutes ago. All sorts of production crew and the therapists come on camera to deny saying anything to anyone. They have not told either of their families because she is not that far along but Roger claims she has told several people “in the industry.” That is the exact sort of crap that pisses Roger off. Therapist Jim gets Roger to continue to participate in the next ridiculous exercise. Marriage Boot camp Jenni and Roger

Today’s exercise is about communication in the bedroom. Tanisha says she feels shy and uncomfortable talking about sex. The exercise involves getting on a bed covered in red satin and heart-shaped pillows and using puppets to talk to each other one puppet is sort of a penis puppet named Mr. Sausage and the other puppet is Mrs. Clam.  This exercise is going to kill many brain cells just by watching.  Gretchen goes first and her um, clam tells Slades…errrr…sausage that she needs it not so hard because it hurts Mrs. Clam. She also wants more than two orgasms per sexual encounter. Kevin points out that Gretchen certainly did not “clam up.”

Next up is Traci who has a donut puppet and Kevin gets the hotdog puppet. I cannot believe I am recapping this. Traci says she wants more holding and touching. Kevin wants foreplay, that to him means verbal affirmations that Traci is attracted to him and wants to be with him.  Tanisha is the donut and Clive is the Mr. Weenie. Tanisha says she wants Tanisha can’t seem to get anything out. Tanisha want Clive to be aggressive. She is trying to say that she wants Clive to be dominant. She talks about him making her crawl or there will be consequences. So much for being shy. Clive basically wants oral sex. Trista gets a train tunnel and Ryan gets a train. Trista wants romance and affection. Ryan wants Trista to be more interested in sex. Roger is Mr. Sausage. He wants spontaneity. Jenni is Mrs. Clam. She wants more foreplay and less cave man.

The next drill is about communication and teamwork. One spouse goes blindfolded through an obstacle course while their partner calls out instructions. There is a shock device which is attached to both partners. They are told they will be shocked when they mess up on the course. But they are really getting shocked with they don’t communicate properly. I’m inappropriately gleeful about the shocking device.

First to go is Jenni and Roger. Jenni says she is worried that with Roger’s temper he is not going to allow her to take control. The therapist should have put Roget in control in the first place. This couple’s whole issue is Jenni trying to run everything. They do fairly well, but don’t complete the course within the ten minute time limit. Traci does the course and Kevin calls the shots. They barely make it half way.  Next up is Tanisha on the course and Clive calling the shots. Clive just says….aaahhhh, ah…Ah… He can barely give a single direction. Tanisha gets shocked to death and has a fit. They don’t even make the first obstacle. Trista and Ryan finish in record time and never even got shocked. Gretchen and Slade do fairly well and were super close to finding the horn when time ran out.

Jenni has an event in Jersey to go to the next day and Roger is pissed. Jenni is putting her career ahead of their marriage and refuses to compromise at all.

Next week: Someone leaves in an ambulance.

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19 Comments

Filed under Reality Show, Reality TV, Recap

19 responses to “Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Recap: Sex and The Secret

  1. Cat

    I don’t understand why they focus so much on changing Roger, when Jenni is the one that is not going with the program. She’s only there for the cameras and the paycheck.

    Also, I think Jim got a little too much pleasure out of shocking Tanisha 25 times. The more he would shock her, the more frustrated and angry she became, and the more angry she became, the more he shocked her. Tanisha and Clive were doomed from the beginning.

    • she just wanted another shot at reality tv with her fake wedding. On another note, J-Wow, you have got to have the biggest ego in the world, bi*ch nobody gives a rats f**** about yo ass being pregnant, NOBODY!! Your Jersey Shore days are over, that mess you and Snookie had, got little ratings, I mean you seriously need to get over youself…all of yous….every spin off show you people have last a season, what the hell does that tell you….JS is over, get a life.

  2. Billie

    Jesus all that puppet play is funny a hell !
    How can this embarrassing stupidity be easier than simply saying “Don’t fuck me so hard!” ?

  3. Erin

    I haven’t watched it yet but I taped it. I cannot believe the sex exercises, lol. I still did not like what Gretchen did to kevin while they had their date night. But anyway, I believe that Ryan is a sweetheart. Trista looks haggered but she was never pretty in the first place. Tanisha is just an idiot as always. Can’t wait to see her get shocked. I hope some sense was shocked into her. I do not see her marriage lasting because she’s a mess but Cylde seems to be an easy going guy. Why on earth did he marry that whale?

    Did Gretchen really say the sex was too hard! Lol, wtf,

  4. Seeing Tanisha get shocked was hilarious! The only couple that I think is’ nt going to make it is Tanisha and Clive, great recap!

    • O.O

      OMG! I could not stop laughing she was spinning around like the taz from looney toons. I don’t think her and Clive will make it as a couple .

  5. Oh and I think she wanted to sell her I’m preg. story to some off the wall tabloid..thats why she was upset.!!

    • She probably did sell it and didn’t want Roger to know it was her.​

      On Sat, Jul 12, 2014 at 4:47 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      • Cat

        That’s what I thought, too. I think she was the one who sold the story from inside the house, and is trying to create drama and push her own storyline by blaming others. She’s not there for her marriage. She’s there for herself…and the paycheck.

      • O.O

        Mmmmhmm that’s what I was thinking and by the way he reacted he knew it was her.

  6. Jacque

    Jenni shouldn’t be on the show, she doesn’t give 2 shits about Roger!

  7. Valley Girl

    I was able to catch up on this show this weekend.

    Can someone tell me why Trista and Ryan are even on there? They appear to be very normal.

    Traci and Kevin have issues, but I think the low point in their relationship happened before they got on there. They are basically ok and don’t really need to be on there.

    Gretchen and Slade make me ill. The more I see Gretchen the less attractive she becomes to me, and the word slug always comes to mind when I think of Slade.

    JWow and Roger? They make my head hurt. I agree with everyone else’s sentiments regarding them.

    Tanisha and Clive? No comment. I can only shake my head.

  8. TMZ has taken a really harsh stance at JWOW during her pregnancy. They posted a really unfortunate picture of her pregnant and claimed it was Lil Kim with more plastic surgery, and they kept that picture on the front page FOR WEEKS.

    Now they are calling her baby stubborn and making fun of the baby’s name
    Meilani Alexandra. Did she go after TMZ legally somehow? The seem to really have a hate-on for someone so irrelevant.

  9. oobunillaoo

    gretchen irritates me. demanding “at least 2 orgasms every time we have sex” AND telling slade to “stop doing it so hard because it hurts” ??? i’m no doctor but i’m pretty sure 1) demanding orgasms, let alone more than one each and every time you bang, is going to give most men performance anxiety which is not good for the boner and kills the fun, and 2) lube! seriously lube is so abundant and inexpensive! how can lube be an alien concept to a woman that essentially slathers it all over her lips every day?! how is any woman going to come twice, with slade – being slow and gentle! the fuck outta here. gretchen girl you NEED it rough. you need it rough as frequently as possible. that rough riding is probably the only thing real in your lip-glossed, fake-lashed, rhinestone-adorned life.

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