I was so engrossed in this post, I am ill prepared to quick blog this episode of Big Brother. But I’m going to give it my best alcohol infused shot. Sorry for all the upcoming homophone aphasia but I’ve been going all day with blog stuff and it’s happy hour and I am tired. Just assume I meant to use the right word. Thanks.
And here we go, I hope we pick up right where we left off at the veto ceremony. And we do. Britanny stands up and says she wants to make it clear why she said what she said about Pao. She points out how Pao threw the comp. She didn’t wear her glasses. She knows what it is like to wake up with a knife in her back. And if Pao stays, she is her target. Pao says, “We all know how he is.” She tells Devin, ” Thank you, I’m sorry but you are not a good person. I would rather throw my head in a toilet bowl and drown than stay with you another week ” Then she tells Britanny you are right. He asked me to throw the competition. But she swears she did not throw it. Now this is a smart move on her part because she is too stupid to win anyway so who really knows?
Devin says, “Yes you did because I said I was going to put the veto on your neck.” Devin you fucking moronic piece of shit, just shut up! Everything you say makes it worse. (insert hilarious Donny commentary from the diary room here. He was loving every minute of the veto ceremony and was tickled to death.)
Devin calls a time-out because he is both head bitch in charge of his team and referee of the whole game in his tiny little Neanderthal (nee ander TALL according to Brendon, husband of BB13? winner Rachel) brain. Devin starts to defend himself and Pao screams that he is a freaking liar. Frankie covers his delicate and sensitive elfish ears. Jocasta makes a fish face. Amber turn her head to the left to ensure they are shooting her best side because this is most certainly making an episode. Devin tries to take control of the conversation but Pao says “Your daughter is going to look at this and laugh at you!” Audible gasps, Frankie and Jocasta have visible reactions. Frankie looks shocked. Jocasta is amused, Amber is twirling her hair and Victoria is translating all of this into Hebrew in her head and trying to keep up.
So Devin throws Hayden and Nicole under the bus saying he told them that Pao agreed to throw it. Cut to talking head with Nicole saying, “This is the best show ever until my name gets brought up. I don’t want to be associated with this at all!” Devin said he had a change of heart and that is why he stayed up in his room for a couple days. Pao says and you got what you wanted.
Now it’s Zach’s turn. Here we go, Zach is a loose cannon and he can’t resist poking the bear while it is dying. I hate Zach. I hate Zach’s stupid gator shit. But I have a feeling what he is about to do right now will make me hate him just a little less. Zach starts with, ” I might have to blow up some other people’s game. Frankie, don’t feel threatened (WTF???), Pao you suck at everything.straight up, it’s no big deal. Devin there is not an ounce of truth in your body. So there is no way in hell I am going home. He says one couch is for sure voting to keep him but he is not sure about the couch with Amber, Jocasta, Frankie, Victoria, Caleb and Cody. He calls out Caleb and Frankie specifically.” He says Devin is going home and he hates him. No one would ever vote for him on any jury. His plan for safety is the we hate Devin campaign. And that should work like a charm. He mocks Devin crying like a bitch over his daughter.
Cody says he is pissed at Devin in his talking head. Amber says in her DR that “if Zach keeps this up he has to go home.” Really, Amber? WTF? Pao says that she is thrilled the house sees Zach as a threat and they will send him home. Frankie is PISSED At Zach for putting him on blast.
Wow that was awesome. Caleb in his DR says he is gunning for Devin now. But in real time, he has said he will vote him out but not put him up. Zrankie meeting. Frankie says that Zach made him look untrustworthy in front of anyone. Zach says it just came out. Frankie is all I was your friend, how can you do this to me??!! Zach is worried. In his DR he says he screwed up with Frankie. They have a lovers quarrel and Frankie leaves mad.
Zach an Frankie fight in the back yard. Zach calls her a liar. Pao continues to lie about throwing the comp. In the DR Derrick says he wants Zach to stay but he is making it hard on himself. Devin tells Caleb that it is 6 and 6 and he is the deciding vote. In Devin’s delusional DR he says they need to replace Zach on the bomb squad with Hayden. Whither your BFF Donny, bro? Devin has done the math. Devin sends Caleb to get Hayden. Hayden comes up with Frankie. Devin tells Hayden every member of the Bomb Squad. while Caleb and Frankie are in there. Hayden says yes to his face but he plans to blow up the bomb squad. Devin says, “Welcome to the squad!” LOL.
God that was a lot of drama to recap. I am a good 30 minutes behind! In Derrick’s DR he says he wants to keep Zach because he will be going after Devin and Devin (cut to shot of Devin in the HOH listening to music and reading the Bible in the nest) will be going after him. This is why Derrick is my pick to win.
Derrick meets with Team America (him, Donny and Frankie) and says he will vote with them and polls them. Frankie wants to vote out Zach. Donny points out that if Zach stays he is the target and not Donny, Frankie and Derrick. But Frankie is a lover scorned. Frankie says that Caleb and Devin are better allies than Zach Donny DONNY! tells Frankie, if you think that Devin and Caleb are better allies to you than me and Derrick, you’re wrong. That’s right Donny, get this little pink haired moron in line! Derrick HAS Donny so Frankie will do whatever Derrick wants a because they are looking at a potential 5K a week as long as they can stay together. Money makes for a great alliance.
Derrick talks to Caleb. He convinces Caleb he is with him and it is best to vote out Pao because she can be used as a weapon for either side. Derrick is awesome. Derrick tells Frankie that they have the votes to keep Zach. In Frankie’s DR he says he wants to be the one to tell Devin first to stay on his good side, so he does. In the process, he throws Caleb under the bus. It backfires. Devin says he is no longer in the Bomb Squad. He is on his own fighting for the daughter he never sees, a lone sad soldier. /single tear. In his DR He says…. he fake cries. He tells Frankie he wants to pick everyone off one by one by one.
Finally time for live TV! She asks Jocasta to describe the week in one week she says ” crazy” Frankie says, “insanity.” Julie asks Devin to describe his week of HOH on a scale of one to ten and he says, it was a “probably a 4 and a half.” Time for Pao to plead her case. She says she feels like a winner already if she goes or stays she is a positive person. She says Devin has five personalities and he sucks. Devin grins from ear to ear. Pao says Zach has won no comps and neither has she. She says if she walks out that door she will do it like a boss. Donny is her best friend with shout outs to Jocasta and Amber. (um AMBER????) um Julie cuts her off.
Zach gives a shout out to his family says he will do everything in his power to get out Devin. That’s a popular sentiment.
Jocasta votes first. She is a friend to Pao. She votes to evict Zach and violates the rules by shouting out to her three kids by name. She will get a stipend deduction for that, but it is probably worth it to her. Brit votes to evict Pao. Derrick votes to evict Pao which means she is toast. she will go. Donny votes to evict Zach. Everyone else should vote to evict Pao. Frankie and Hayden both agreed to give “DJ Paola Shay” a live publicity moment in the diary room Julie is not amused.
Paola is gone Devin is pissed. Pao is fine and happy to be interviewing with Julie. Pao immediately tells Julie that Devin’s game sucked. Julie wants to talk about he role in her eviction. What role, she sucks in comps and is fun. Who would want to evict her? Pao said during the BOB fifty percent of her was throwing it and 50% was trying to win. Julie asks who she is voting for and she says obviously Donny and Jocasta. The audience cheers.
Her goodbye messages. First up is Zach who calls her a hugh liar and he is not sad to see her go. Next is Jocasta who loves her and will miss her presence in the house. Devin says he is sorry and he “wanted to keep his word” Then Donny, who loved her energy and her spirit. She always made him feel better in the house. She has been his best friend in the house. He loves her and he can’t wait to see her. Oh Donny, America loves you. Pao Pao cries.
It is going to take me two hours to get this recap up! But even though I am missing out on live feeds right now, this stupid TWO HOH thing makes it sort of meaningless.
On to HOH comp. Last night we saw the competition and it is a luck of the draw, get a ball in the hole game. Julie admonishes everyone to have their balls in hand a be ready when they are called. It seems the top two will be HOH this week. Nicole got the highest score with 29! DERRICK GOT A 28!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG these are great choices!!!!! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE! Derrick will get out either Devin or Caleb with no blood on his hands!
BEST OUTCOME EVAH!
Gentle reminder to everyone to please read the commenting rules. This is not specific to Big Brother, it’s just I’ve had a shit ton of links and stupidity lately in moderation Thanks.