Well, I like the names already. Let’s see what fresh manufactured nonsense lies in store for us this week! The boys are in Jacksonville. The subject line of the email is The Vanishing Act. Bianca writes in that she has been talking to someone on Facebook, another girl named Brogan for a while. Bianca is a pretty 20-year-old black girl and Brogan is a pretty white blonde girl who looks about the same age. They are both have some sort of alternative grunge vibe. So far, they seem like a nice match. They are both into body modification (piercings, tattoos, ear gages etc). They never video chatted because the were both content with their phone calls and Bianca says that video chat can be awkward. Just when she was thinking of moving things to the next level, Brogan disappeared. She stopped taking her messages and deleted her Facebook.
A year later she reactivated her Facebook page. And started talking to her again as if nothing happened. Bianca was so happy to hear from her she never asked what happened. But now she wants answers. Um, so if you are so close why don’t you ask her? My first guess was either she spent a year in jail, or she got married.
Dang! Bianca has the biggest gages I have ever seen! They are bigger than half dollars!
So Selita, who is a super model with no dog in the fight, wants to tag along to see how the whole Catfish thing works. Selita says someone pretended to be her online and she just wants to understand things from all sides. Or she just wants to be on TV. You decide.
The boys and Selita go to meet with Bianca. Wow Brogan has giant tattoos on her legs. Selita is coming up with all sorts of possibilities. Maybe Brogan doesn’t exist? What if she had a baby? What if her #broski on the Facebook page is not her actual brother as she tells Bianca but it’s her baby’s father? David Spade calls her.
The Internet investigation uncovers that Selita was right. The girl in the pictures got pregnant. They determine that the girl in the picture is not Brogan, Her name is Chloe and she is married to/or just having a baby with the person that Brogan refers to as #Broski on her fake internet site. But the big problem I have is they located the picture from a web search that lead to a blog post called “Who the hell is Brogan Acaster?” The leave the camera on the listing for quite some time on two occasions but they neglect to mention the part that says, Answer: Some girl who faked me out and ironically that name is my best friend’s name…” or something like that, the ends of the listing were cutoff but the SOME GIRL WHO FAKED ME was very clear. Why are they pretending they didn’t read that? There were only like three lines of text there!
Time for the meet the family scene. This episode’s parent is Bianca’s mom. Bianca’s mom got kicked out of church because Bianca is gay. Bianca’s mom did not deal with it will at first, but now she is cool. Bianca’s mom is worried she is going to get hurt.
The guys and Selita go over the Internet research. Bianca finds out that the girl in the pictures is not named Brogan and lives in England so she is not girl she has been talking to. Bianca cries and Selita did a great job of consoling her. They actually do need a woman on the team. Maybe Max is right to be joking about his job security.
It’s time for the Nev pretends to convince the catfish to meet with them scene. The girl agrees to meet Bianca. Her name is Tia and she lives in Iowa. So off they go to meet Tia! They go to her house and…well, it is a white girl. She looks a lot like Brogan actually. She’s not bad looking. She is just a plain Iowa type girl. No giant tattoos, no piercings. She apologizes. She seems genuinely interested in Bianca. Bianca is feeling angry and betrayed, but I predict this one might work out. Bianca basically has a clean canvas to tat up and modify!
Time for the therapeutic intervention with the catfish. Tia seems to have some sort of speech impediment. Tia used to be 300 pounds. She didn’t think anyone would like her for who she was. She didn’t have many friends. Selita kind of goes in on Tia a bit. Tia says her freshman year of high school there was a physical crime committed against her that began her downward spiral. And her speech impediment may be because she has a tongue ring. The gang convinces Tia to open up to Bianca about what happened to her. She tells Bianca that she was sexually assaulted and turned to food and a fake persona online to cope. This seems to soften Bianca a bit.
They take a picture and my TV switches right over to Chatfish which is fine, I guess we will find out what happened on this after show. And…..what happened is Bianca wants nothing to do with Tia. Side note: Bianca is oddly attractive. Remember that fitness center show, probably on Bravo with the lesbian named Jackie who all the straight women including myself fell in love with? Bianca and her ginormous gages and deep masculine voice and dreads sort of has the same effect on me and I haven’t had the first glass of wine tonight. At this rate I could be packing a U-Haul by Tuesday. Except for the whole I’m old enough to be her
mother much older sister…
And that boys and girls, is the last episode of the season.