I have been super tired and fuzzy-brained today and I had no idea why until someone mentioned that it is hot as balls today! Um, duh. I have now drawn all the curtains and turned on more fans in an attempt to get the inside temperature below 80 degrees. I overshare this to say, my brain is not fully functional, but I am going to try to do a quick catch up post for Botched, the new reality show for Paul Nassif and Terry Debrow to fix bad plastic surgery.
It is just starting and I hate it already. It looks like the usual fame whores on every plastic surgery show ever. I may be out before the opening montage rolls.
Terry tells his patient at the last minute that he needs to take the implants out and leave them out for months so things can heal. I have no idea why women get their bodies cut open to be more attractive to men. The chick is having a hard time getting the hint that her implants need to be smaller. She’s delusional. Once the procedure is over, she has great breasts.
Paul’s nose job seems awfully complex. why does he need SCALP skin for a nose job? Did she have to shave her head? Why not take some skin from any place less hairy? Also, doesn’t that ear cartilage need to be there for her ear not to be fucked up? And during surgery, Paul determines that the woman has lied about being 40 and her rib cartilage is too old to use? This is a clusterfuck. That said, Paul is pleased with his work. The patient however is not. She says that her nose is not symmetrical. SEVEN surgeries later, the woman still wants more work done on her nose. Michael Jackson Syndrome anyone? Later, we get to see them pull crap out of her nose and she seems satisfied. Maybe it is my poor facial recognition skills, but I can’t see much of a difference. It is very straight now.
I would not even watch the next episode but Janice Dickinson is on it and she’s always fun to laugh at. Janice’s implants have been in for 30 years. She is wants new saline implants. She also says there are some edamame sized things floating around in there. Um, has she never heard that those are tumors that one looks for during breast exams? I had no idea you were supposed to replace your implants every 10-15 years. Janice is a recovering addict and pain meds are going to be an issue. It seems like she may be recovering in a rehab facility for good measure.
Janice is engaged to a man who seems normal and age appropriate. During surgery, Terry removes the masses for cancer testing. How big of a fame whore do you have to be to agree to have your implants replaced on TV? For some reason, Janice takes off her own dressing and removed her own drainage tube. She’s also smoking. She’s begging for dilaudid. But everything turned out fine.
The only thing I do like on this show are the scenes with Paul and Terry. They need their own show, but this one sucks. I think they are both funny.
Paul’s nose job patient actually does have a nose that needs fixing. This nose job may be covered by insurance because of the completely deviated septum. More rib cartilage nose surgery. It came out great.
This episode’s whackjob is some crazy Chinese woman with westernized eyes that wants to go back to Asian eyes. Just like whackadoodle Ken doll, they say no to her surgery.
I did not enjoy this show. I doubt I will recap it again.