First of all what are Trista and Ryan doing on here? Dammit. They are the one couple who settled into the quiet life and stopped being reality stars. This makes me sad. So anyway, it is them and Gretchen and Slade from Orange County, Jwoww and Roger from Jersey Shore, et al, and well we shall see. I am not sure I know who the other people are. Let the show begin…
Um I DVRed this because I got too involved in a two hour dateline and I feel like my DVR may have missed something, only I did not. Apparently there is brawling the first night that they recap in advance to tell us there was about $10K in damages. I hope Trista was safely in her room! It hasn’t even started yet, and I am ALL IN! And I love it is on Friday night with no conflicts!
First to arrive is Tanisha from Bad Girls and he man Clive. Clive is wearing a huge cross around his neck hoping to ward off the evilness that is Tanisha. Tanisha is freaking out over the house they are going to be at. She says, ” Let me act like I have some home training.” Oh girlfriend that ship sailed long ago. Tanisha does bring the funny. Tanisha is guzzling the booze.
Next up is Gretchen and Slade. She introduces herself as Gretchen, “you might know me from real housewives.” Slade says, “I’m Slade and I like to sleep with real housewives.” True. Still not married. Gretchen says she is the “white Oprah” fifty times before the episode ends. It’s the drinking phrase.
Jwoww and Roger arrive and say their relationship is on life support. Roger says their intimacy stopped after Jersey Shore. Jwoww has to be pregnant at this point. Not sure if they are going to mention that. Oh she is not drinking, so it has to come out.
Traci Braxton and her husband and Kevin are there. I don’t exactly keep up with them. Y’all will have to catch me up. Apparently Kevin cheats.
Trista and Ryan arrive. I feel like begging them to go back! This is not the place for you!
Gretchen is just like Taylor. She is thinks she is there to help everyone else with their problems. Tanisha’s fat ass doesn’t cook? How is that possible. Tanisha blames reality TV for her relationship problems. LOL.
Challenge One: It’s a press conference. The reality whores are pissed! I love this show! They play their private interviews for the “press.” Then they make them answer questions from “the press.”
Jwoww looks normal on this show and yet the “press” asks her about her obsession with plastic surgery. MTV recently were complete assholes to Jwoww showing her eight months pregnant in NYC and calling her Lil Kim. It was so uncalled for by TMZ. They also spazzed out about the LA Times scooping the deal on the Clippers sale and made a post calling it UNTRUE! But today said it really did happen and acted like they were the source. Sigh.
Tanisha gets blasted for being an alcoholic. Clive’s questions are about him being a little bitch. Tanisha has a freakout and storms off the set. Which is in the house. So everyone can hear Tanisha going off. The press asks Ryan why he doesn’t have a talking head. Tanisha is going off in the background. Ryan was actually working a real job. Tanisha is going batshit. Clive says they split after a month of marriage.
Gretchen gets asked how it makes her feel she was the third housewife Slade has fucked. She gets asked how it makes her feel to be on a show about broken relationships. Gretchen is well practiced in her lies. Gretchen wants to have a baby before she commits. She wants babies. It doesn’t seem like Slade does. And frankly, he doesn’t seem like a very good father figure.
Eventually, they all go back to their rooms. Their doors are covered with all of the worst things the media has ever said about them,
Anyway, I hate how the TV execs have bought in to Andy Cohen’s idea that we all want to interact with the TV and put up voting shit. The whole point of watching stupid people on TV is not to have to DO ANYTHING. And you are covering the screen with voting shit? PUHLEASE If I can’t watch the show, and end up having to watch a graphic while listening to the show, then fuck it.
What did you think?