Andy starts by saying that both Nene and Kenya are six feet tall outspoken women who are used to running the show. It was the battle of the Titans this season and neither wanted to give up the crown. Nene sure does like to talk about what a good friend she WAS to people. She WAS a good friend to Marlo. She WAS a good friend to Cynthia. She WAS a good friend to Kim. She WAS a good friend to Dwight. She WAS a good friend that broke one tryna build Neverland. She seems to blame Kenya for her blow up with Marlo at the Bailey Bowl. Kenya had the nerve to keep bringing Marlo around when she did not want to speak to Marlo. None of the other girls wanted to be around Marlo except Kenya. Hmmmm, maybe because Marlo has mugshots for assaulting some woman? You know, just like Porsha does now.
Kenya says the real issue is that Nene wants to control everyone around her. She wanted to control Marlo and Cynthia. She is nothing but a dictator. Kenya reads a text from Nene to Marlo that said that once Marlo decided to film with Kenya, then that is your choice and that is where you need to stay. Kenya says she also pulled Cynthia into the situation having Cynthia be on a three way phone conversation with Nene and Marlo where Nene again told Marlo not to film with Kenya. Wow. Nene is terrified Kenya is going to steal her shine. Nene says she should ask Cynthia why Nene and Marlo are not friends anymore. In her version, Kenya wants to be in the middle of it. Now, I agree that Kenya wants to be right in the middle of the pot twirling it up, but Nene you just admitted to two separate times that you told your friend Marlo to stay away from Kenya. Bye Felicia, indeed.
Cynthia says that the relationship with Nene and Marlo was strained before Kenya came along. Cynthia also says that if you are going to shoot with Kenya you can’t shoot with me. I just can’t understand why Nene thinks she gets to decide who people shoot with. Hell, one season they flew Kandi down to Miami to shoot with Nene because no one else wanted to shoot with her at all.
Andy asked if Kenya if she was filming with and hanging out with Marlo just to piss Nene off. (She said no.) Duh, Andrew, nobody wanted to film with Kenya at that time so it only made sense for her to film with Marlo, the fact that it pissed Nene off just made the pot that much sweeter. Kenya points out again that Nene has a character flaw which causes her to try to control everyone and she can’t control me.
Nene is getting hot. I mean emotionally worked up although that long-sleeved velvet Pepto-Bismol gown and hair hat look hot as hell as well. I bet she was getting ripe. Just saying. Nene said, ” You don’t know shit. You’re just popping your dam gums because you feel like it.” Kenya fires back with, “At least my gums are original and not from Petco.” Nene again launches into her “I was a REAL friend to Marlo.” speech. Of course with Nene it always seems like she is saying she is better than everyone else. She carried Cynthia on her back! She lifted Marlo up out of the ghetto and into the overpriced rented house in the hinterlands! And she wants to make it really clear that she doesn’t have to help anybody but Nene Leakes. Kandi looks like she can’t stand Nene. Nene ends her rant by informing Kenya she doesn’t know shit about Marlo. Well, what we do know is that Marlo is not at the reunion. She sure is acting like she is Andy’s boss rather than the other way around.
Nene, Kandi is pissed at a comment Nene made in her blog about Mama Joyce. Basically, Kandi said she had never seen Nene walk away from a fight when talking about the Bailey bowl in her blog. Nene came back in her blog basically saying she was there with her son and she is not going to take her shoe off like Mama Joyce and try to hit someone or drag them up and down the street. Because she would not sink that low “with her son around.” This is one of those times that Nene has multiple personalities. She’s physically attack people on the show, invaded their personal space, and done all sorts of things that she now says is beneath her. While I’d like to think perhaps she has grown as a person, there is no evidence of that. Kandi was pissed about the Mama Joyce stuff. That said, when you drag your mama on the show and she acts like a hoodrat, you can expect people to point it out. Kandi is agreeing with Cynthia about Nene doing things to them that she would be pissed about if it was done to her. Now Nene is really angry. Kandi seems to think Nene said her mother was down in the gutter. In this particular fight, I would have to side with Nene. If Nene said that about Kandi’s mother and it had not been seen on national television, then Kandi would be justified. But to me, she’s just not.
I’d like to point out that during the fight between Nene and Kandi nobody else interrupted. Phaedra didn’t jump in to have Kandi’s back. Nobody had Nene’s back and when Andy acted like the kindergarten teacher telling people to apologize, Nene stood her ground.
A viewer asks Nene if in hindsight she thinks it was wrong to make a spectacle of herself at Kenya’s charity events. Nene says, well, since people think I never apologize, they can go to bravo.com and see her apology. She said she did not want to be a poor role model for women and wanted them to know that was not the best reaction when someone is trying to trick you. It’s better to tell them to be aware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. And yes I realize that made no sense and was not an apology to anyone.
Kenya says that is a bunch a bullcrap. She did not have to get up in front of all the people at the event and show her black ass. Nene starts with her second favorite script of the reunion, “”I’m done talking about it.” Nene says she will write a check to Kenya’s favorite charity for $20K if Kenya will match it. Kenya choses the Detroit Public Schools Foundation. I’m guessing that Kenya raised way more than that on The Apprentice. I sure Nene will say that does not count.
Nene is taking some crap for her comments that no one at the charity event is on her level. She is pissed that Kenya blogged about her being a washed up stripper with only a few small roles given to her by one man. Kandi seemed to think it is funny that Nene thinks above her.
A viewer asks why Kenya was kissing her ass so much on this season. Kenya says we started out in a good place this season. Nene begins overtalking the hell out of her so that no one can hear her. I am starting to think this is another thing Nene told Porsha to do. Kenya said she gave her furniture when she was living in out in LA and was never anything but kind to her until Nene decided they weren’t friends. Nene is screaming about being done with the conversation. Nene is really screaming and so is Kenya and Andy is literally plugging his ears. Nene was as long as she lives she will never have anything to do with Kenya. It sounds like Nene is saying she won’t film with Kenya, but I think Andy explained to her between the reunion and WWHL that if she wants a check, she will be filming with Kenya.
And asks Kenya about her having a new throne. Kenya explains that she gets a lot of tweets from fans saying that she is the new queen of the show. She says she thinks the fans are just sick of Nene’s attitude. Nene says Kenya wants to be the new queen of the show, but she’s not.
Andy does Cynthia montage. Andy can’t make it through a show with Cynthia without talking about Cynthia’s hair. I love her hair too, but this is getting ridiculous, Andrew. Cynthia talks about her relationship with Peter. Cynthia says she is glad that Peter didn’t go have sex with someone else while she was sick, because she really couldn’t blame him. WTF?
Now we move on to Phaedra and Apollo’s “marriage.” During the montage, Apollo comes out by himself, not with the other guys and sits on the couch. You know when someone tries to go to a restaurant with a dress code and they have to give the idiot guy a jacket to wear? That’s how he looks. He is sitting right up on Phaedra with his arm slung around her like 17 year old thug in the back row of the movies. Andy says he heard they were separated and says based how you are sitting I guess you are not. They both claim they have never been separated. That’s a lie. These two have barely been in the same city let alone the same home since November. They are constantly tweeting that they are in different towns. That said, when Apollo was at lunch with this lady, the person taking the picture said he was there with his oldest son, Ayden. He also said in his special jailbird dialect that the marriage was taking a toll. Andy asked about counseling and he said he was going. So basically, nothing can be believed that comes from their mouths.
Apollo takes off his jacket and tries to put his arm aback around Phaedra but somehow yanks the world’s largest globe of fake hair and she let’s out an “out” and a “dog gone!” The question she is supposed to be answering is was it hard for Phaedra to portray a “rosy image” (aka fake front) during filming. Phaedra says she was raised to keep what goes on between a husband and a wife private. Andy says, “and yet, you are on a reality show about your life.” LOL. Apollo says he is constantly telling Phaedra they need to be as authentic as possible and he needs to be himself for their marriage to continue to thrive. Andy asks if he has the old Phaedra back now that she is finished with school. He said, “three nights ago!” and starts laughing. Then he does this odd fist bump thing with Nene. Very weird.
A viewer asks Phaedra if she gets tired parenting Apollo saying that if you treat him like a child he is going to rebel. Apollo cracks up again and Phaedra says, “You know what? I have several jobs as I have said. I don’t have time to parent anyone other than my sons. Apollo is a grown man and he does what he wants to do.” While she is speaking Apollo giggles and randomly says, “Jamacia, mon!” out of the blue. Phaedra tells him to be quiet so she can talk. He straightens up. As the DVR is paused I seem him thumbing his wedding finger as if he is not used to wearing the ring.
Apollo is straight up acting like he is own something, which would be a violation of his bond conditions. Andy asks what he can say about his charges. He says he is just going to let it play out. Then he says, “I can tell you one thing, then that one over there is running her mouth? Kenya, I’m talking to you. (He waves trying to get her to look at him.) I’m over here. (Kenya still will not look at him.)” He says she better hope nothing happens to him because she may not have a job. He’s her storyline. He sustained her career. So while she is talking about him on talk shows. She should be paying him. Something is way wrong with this man.
Andy asks Kenya if she wants to respond. Apollo goes on, “I built you! I built you! So stop playing games.” Nene laughs and says, “I love it!” Dear God that is a whole lot of crazy on the wrong couch. Apollo says he will give her his P.O. Box so she can put some money on his books in prison. At the 40 minute mark he talks about strippers. Phaedra is not amused.
Andy asked Kenya why she said on Bethenny that Apollo is going to prison. WTF? BECAUSE HE IS?! Stupidest question yet. Nene then said that Kenya said that Nene was on drugs. Apparently, Nene had her lawyer send a cease and desist letter to Kenya. Nene says she has never been on drugs in her life. Kenya pointed out that half of America was talking about her seeming to be on something and Kandi said on camera at the time that she was geeked up. Kandi says it was a joke. (Sure didn’t seem like she was joking.) Nene had all the signs of someone on something.
If you think that Phaedra is going to be fired for her husband’s criminal charges, this reunion leads me to believe otherwise. Apollo’s crimes are being rewarded with several long segments. A viewer asks Phaedra if she thinks she owes Kenya an apology. It seems like your husband is at fault here, put the blame where it belongs. Phaedra calls Kenya a trifling whore. Apollo claims that Kenya texted him that she feels bad for saying bad things about him. That’s horseshit. He tryna whip out his phone with this bullshit. Apollo doesn’t think he is a criminal. Apollo says Kenya has no credit. He says that she might have some now because of him.
Holy shit. Phaedra can read. She is going in on Kenya talking about the father of her children saying that while she spends her weekends with her family (lies) Kenya is “pedaling through sperm banks, looking through catalogs looking for a sperm donor. Honey, you don’t know whether your baby’s daddy will be an ax murderer or a child molester, because what you will know is that he needed $10 for a medium pizza so he ejaculated in a cup so you could have a kid.”
STUNNED SILENCE. Nene was Amening Phaedra through the whole thing. Kandi is biting her lip trying to be respectful. Andy has a blank stare.
Andy asked Phaedra is she believes Apollo about the Kenya situation 100%. She says yes she does. Kenya was coming on to him from day one and she should have slapped the dog shit out of her on that day but she didn’t because she was trying to be a friend to her. Oh Phaedra. Don’t nobody want your convict of a husband. Kenya would flirt with a box of instant cheese grits. That’s just her personality. Some might call it “pleasant,” something you are not.
Kenya is very visibly upset. She says she is done rolling around in the mud with pigs. In the most hysterical moment Andy’s awkward response was, “Does that mean you are quitting the show?” If the other ladies weren’t so dumb, they would get Andy just called them all pigs. Apollo tells Kenya to get her toenails done. This might be a good time to point out that Kenya has been attacked for quite a long time now and this is only what we see by a convicted felon and his thugette wife. She ain’t hitting nobody though.
Nene thinks that Kenya is trying to break up Kandi and Phaedra now. Nope, that’s just Nene once again trying to keep Kandi from being civil with Kenya.
A viewer asks Cynthia about Peter getting involved in the women’s drama. I agree with Cynthia and Peter. What is the point of him being there. Nene that she is friends with Peter. See? I think that is why Nene thinks she can talk to him any kind of way. Peter says the lack of calls from Nene has been great for him.
Finally, Pillow Talk. Is there really another half an hour of the reunion? Jesus take the blogging wheel! Did Phaedra just accuse Kenya of sleeping with the guy who grabbed her? Kenya says that while she was outside the door getting miked she heard Nene screaming at the top of her lungs accusing producers of holding Kenya back to make an entrance because they are trying to make her the star of the show. This is fascinating. Apollo is claiming he talked to Brandon for two hours on the phone where he was “apologetic” because he didn’t want to disappoint HIS FANS. Dear God erry last one of these people has fallen into de Nile. Kenya says that Apollo was telling Brandon to make it a storyline so he could be on the show again. Yes, Apollo that makes sense. Brandon, who is an actual actor needs you to beat his ass on TV to make him relevant. Apollo is now claiming self defense. He and Porsha really should get married the next time he is out of prison. Peter didn’t think that Chris was aggressive. Peter just said something about “the real men in the room” which Kenya took as a homophobic comment and went off. Andy asked what he meant by that. Peter backtracks a bit. I didn’t really take what Peter said to be about Brandon. But when Kenya pointed it out, I could see how it could be taken that way.
Nene is loving all the backup so now she is addressing Kenya asking her if she really thinks Nene started the aggression. Did she make Kenya get up out of her seat? She over talks Kenya again.
The gays take Nene to task over her gay bashing of Brandon. They are livid. How could she do that? Nene looks at Andy with disdain and says, “Really?” and he is like, “um, yeah…” Nene says okay. Andy says you said it multiple times and you said it in a derogatory fashion. Nene says, “you did really?” and Andy says yes. Nene is clearly wetting her Spanx trying to form a response. Nene says, ” if I offended you Andy or anyone in the gay community, since I never apologize.”(haughty laugh) Kenya asks Andy if he was offended and he says yes, he was. Nene says, “I just apologized. What else do you need me to do? Do you need me to pull down your pants and kiss your ass? ” WHO THE HELL SPEAKS TO THEIR BOSS THIS WAY? Andy responds with “I do like it when you kiss my ass.” Touché ! OMG Nene just keeps going, I apologized, what do they want me to do next? Should I hold a gay function? Gregg chimes in with “I was thinking more of a parade.” Nene says okay maybe a parade. OMG OMG OMG She just lost the majority of her fanbase. I wish I would have seen her twitter follower numbers before this aired. (Most are bought anyway) to see how many this episode lost her. She may actually get fired.
Man this recap is taking forever to write because this reunion DELIVERS. Now they are showing NEW footage of Nene trash talking Apollo, Phaedra and Kandi before they arrived at the Pajama Brawl. Sure as shit, here is Nene strutting around pissed that they game can’t start until “the star arrives” (aka Kenya). Just like Kenya said and the others claimed they did not hear. It’s all right there on camera they were in the room. Nene is being a giant cunt satchel. Clearly, production is NOT amused with Nene.
OMG! An epic fight between Phaedra and Apollo! The shit they don’t show is what we need to see! Andy is grinning like a cat when he asks Phaedra what that was about. Holy hell, I’m starting to think more than just Porsha is fired. That was after the Pajama Brawl. Suddenly Nene suddenly recalls her temper tantrum. Nene is upset. Kenya says Nene is still paying for that ring. Bullshit. Nene’s ring is QVC type shit. Gregg jumps in to say that is not true. Nene says they have zero debt and I want to fall over laughing. NO ONE with zero debt buys handbags and rings and shoes before securing a HOME for them and their children. Nene seems to think rational people believe this inflated salary she likes to tell people she makes. It’s ridiculous. Nene is just mad that Andy just rolled the tape on something Nene and everyone else denied happening earlier in the episode. Nene so mad jealous of Kenya, it’s on tape. Case CLOSED.
There is some bullshit closing comments where they pretend that they are all not acting a fool for the cameras. Kandi is the only one who seemed to have any remorse. Andy ends saying essentially he likes laughing at them all.
I am slapping this up unedited AGAIN because I have got to go blog Porsha and Andy on WWHL.