In the farce that is “human resources” we are going on a team building trip this episode of Flipping Out!. See the reason I hate the housewives franchise these days is that it is scripted. So very fucking scripted. And the script for the past eight seasons in some cases is “make the bitches fight for our amusement.” I admit to enjoying a good brawl from time to time, but not every fucking week. Now the script is, pick one woman and completely publicly humiliate her every week. Have everyone gang up on her. They will do it because it is not them. One more season of six figure incomes for people who, with few exceptions, have no other marketable skills. It’s no more reputable anymore than Girls Gone Wild. At least in those shows you get to see hot bodies with pert tits. Real Housewives is Middle-Aged Broke Chicks Trying to Front Gone Wild. It’s just bad. Which is why I am trying to wean you all, while admittedly still on the teat myself.
Moving on, Flipping Out is FUNNY. It’s tongue in cheek, and I don’t think anyone has ever brawled. Like Kenya Moore, everyone on the show knows exactly what they are doing and they play their part effortlessly without a producer spooning them lines.
Sorry, I got on a soapbox. Let’s continue. LOL they are in a “serious meeting.” This is awesome already. Jenni is telling them they need to write a definition of respect and perhaps give examples of how they have been disrespected. Zoila is coyly raising her hand because my fucking GAWD Zoila is perfect in everyway. They make fun of the guy with the 132 pound testicles. Laugh away assholes, the guy is DEAD NOW. Okay, I’m kidding having 132 pound testicles is funny. It doesn’t stop being funny just because the guy died.
I don’t remember the job they are working on. Let me got look. Welp, apparently my recaps for Flipping Out SUCK, because I have no recollection of these people at all. You have no idea how often I google shit I can’t remember and my site comes back number one. That makes me feel ridiculous. Anyway, at $64,000 for doors and windows, the female Ead is a bit shocked. Me too honey I paid twice that for my whole house and then 2008 happened and its worth less than your doors an windows. Welcome to the fabulous world of investing.
Next we are at a beach house. THIS is my dream I so want to live on the beach. My best hope is to save enough to get to Punta Del Este Uruguay, a country I have never been too that used to be a safe haven for American retirees. Then Obama did something to threaten Uruguay for letting American’s live there for free with great free healthcare and … well it’s not as great of a deal as it used to be, sadly. And I am not at retirement age at all. So that is another bummer. lol. But Uruguay is in the east coast time zone so if they got all the American channels, I could just as easily work from there! #SouthernHemisphereWouldBeWeird #LatinMenLikeFatChicks
Oh um sorry, beach house! HOLY FUCK I want her beach house. See even Jeff wants to buy it.
LOL at Andrew having crushes on all the men. He takes pictures and his screen saver is a slideshow of all his pictures. I am sort of on Andrew’s side.
At the next meeting. Zoila is hysterical she attacks Gage. So does Andy. I am tired and I can’t transcribe this but trust me it was funny. Megan says no more of Andy saying Megan Weaver has a fat beaver. Okay she alludes to it. I just like saying it because I am silly enough to work for Jeff.
Jeff prematurely takes this Ead woman on a shopping spree for fixtures and shit to placate her. I’d probably orgasm on the floor if I got to pick fixtures. My ex took me to buy a sink and faucet and it was probably the sexiest thing ever. We won’t go into how it had to be hammer in, is off kilter and I no longer have a silverware drawer. One of TWO drawers in the whole fucking kitchen. It was way fun that he let me pick out the faucet. I’m not lying. I was easily pleased when it came to him.
OMG! The offering of Megan’s beaver, the reaction of Jeff. It’s hysterical.
Jeff wants the client’s beach house. So he is being overly accommodating. She doesn’t want lamp or vases. Judy diagnoses Jeff as being needy with low self-esteem ( he wanted to be a narcissist . It looks great. She sold the beach house to another. Jeff is not pleased.
THE END. Except it is not. I want this weird cracked Tiffany new blue cookie jar. And I really hate Tiffany blue outside of my 1950s bathroom.