First of all, I can’t believe James and Peta are in jeopardy tonight. They were fantastic tonight. OMG, did they just say that Abby Lee Miller is the judge next week? OMG Please, please let Nene still be in for that! Danica just danced with a broken rib. Stupid Interviewing Bitch is still Stupid. She said to Danica, “Well, Ricky Martin just did my job asking you how you are feeling.” I really dislike SIB. She’s just awful.
Nene is all stank face tonight behind the person being interviewed. Then, when she realizes she is on camera she puts on the fake happy face. I am mesmerized by this episode and will keep watching instead of switching over to Real Housewives of Orange County. I am out of it and very nervous about the weather so I may hold off on recapping the Orange County girls until tomorrow. IF I LIVE THROUGH THE NIGHT! #tornados.
As it should be, Nene is in the bottom and is likely going home. If they send home Charlie or James before Nene than the world is even more fucked up than it already is. The told Nene and Tony they were in jeopardy and then said you are dancing next and Nene just guffawed. I’m not sure I have ever actually witnessed a guffaw until that moment. There was also some silly social media thing where people voted for Tony to dance shirtless or not. Tom himself said that whole thing was us actually witnessing the moment when social media jumped the shark.
Nene Leakes is COMPLETELY WITHOUT MAKEUP in her DWTS reel with Tony in training. It’s shocking! Not just the look, but that she would have the balls to do a full on sit down interview without a shred of make-up. I give her props for that! She says she realizes that everyone else is athletic and has dance experience and “they are just like the little odd ones over here.” Well, yes, you are correct everyone else can dance. I am glad you have at least that much insight into your surroundings. Nene says that in her Argentine Tango she will be bringing out some NayNay. Oh Lord, this is going to be a hot mess, isn’t it? Tony brings in a bunch of dancers to cover for the fact that Nene or NayNay is not really dancing.
Oh my lord. She starts by standing in front of a microphone and yelling “Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to NayNay’s Lounge Darling!” and the make dancers motorboat her and dive between her legs. I am not making this up. There are four couples on the dance floor and Nene actually has a small amount of footwork. The problem…problems are, the other three couples are all in sync and Nene is out front not knowing she is off beat. She is also wearing high heeled boots of some sort. I thought her get up was the best yet, and maybe it is but that is not saying much. This is not just bad, it’s ridonkulous compared to the competition. It’s embarrassing that they kept her so long, and I truly think that is the point. I think the show is deliberately letting her embarrass herself for ratings. I give her props for hanging in this long and not quitting, but for her um, “brand” she probably should have taken a dive a few weeks ago.
Those of you wanting a lift got one, though it was more of a drag. I hate to comment negatively about someone’s weight living here in my glass house and all but she seems to be gaining weight on the show. I am not sure how that is even possible. And her feet. My god, her feet are so heavy. I don’t know how else to explain it. When you hear the phrase “light on one’s feet”… well she is the opposite of that. The boots just make that issue worse. It’s bad y’all. After the dance was over Nene stopped to kiss the other three female dancers delaying the live show. Tom is freaking out.
OMG Ricky Martin starts with “Was that NayNay or Ninny! ” I don’t think that was a dis, I just don’t think Ricky Martin has any idea who she is or how to pronounce her name. Nene is taken aback but quickly recovers with some Nayne combination crap. Ricky was right, that was full blown Ninny! Ricky seems to realize he has insulted and says that he loved how before the routine even started she took a moment to get into character. Then he says she was “floating on stage” and we all get that the judges are told to be overly complimentary to Nene.
Len can’t stand having to participate in this farse. He says she is an entertainer and mentions she might want to learn some technique.
Bruno sort of subtly mocks the strip club aspect of her performance and then mentions that she needs to learn how to um, dance.
Carrie Ann says her opening walk was a ten. That said, Carrie Ann says that her footwork leaves a lot to be desired, but she is impressed with how far Nene has come.
During the interview part we are blessed to see Nene shoving her hands up her skirt to yank her Spanx down on national television. #Klassy Why does she always seem to be playing with her twat during these interviews? it’s worse tonight than ever. She is fiddling with the fringe on her dress right over her Hello Kitty! She says she is very proud of herself. Because, of course she is. She gets 8s from everyone except Len who gives her a 7. This is SOFA KING insulting to those people who are dancing for real. This is just not even funny anymore. She really needs to go home, but next week, with Abby Lee there… I would have loved to see Abby give her a 2! :)
Oh and they still have a team dance to come. It would suck to have Nene on your team. I’m just saying. It would really lessen what your could do. Dance around the Maypole and Nene is the pole? We shall see.
SIB is interviewing Amy who has somehow injured herself and is enroute to the hospital. For her team’s dance they are going to use the footage from the dress rehearsal while she goes to the hospital to find out what is wrong with her. BTW not to be crass but if you are wondering who Amy is she is the double amputee and she has been doing so great. I hope she is okay. If she is not, they may use that as an excuse to not eliminate Nene tonight.
Wow Len just slammed the fuck out of Charlie’s dance. The package was about Charlie wanting straight tens. Len said, “To get a ten you have to do something special, this was not special.” Boos from the crowd. Bruno was harsh too and pointed out two errors. Carrie says that to get a ten he needs to have an ending on some of his moves. Ricky was like, I was in the moment and I was blown away!” Charlie’s partner seems to be worried Charlie is injured. He keeps blowing her off. LEN GOODMAN IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE GAVE CHARLIE AN 8 JUST LIKE NENE! Are you kidding me? Len thinks Charlie and Nene deserve the same score? Ricky gave them a 10 and the other two gave him 9s.
OMG they just keep on ragging on Candace on this show. She is apparently having trouble with the live show aspect of things so they send her to a sports psychologist. Who is this “sports psychologist” (a term that does not fucking exist????) Oh look it is couple’s therapy idiot, Dr, Jenn. How ridiculous is this whole package? Very ridiculous. Candace really just doesn’t want to disappoint Mark, her partner. She did great! Of course Carrie Ann gives her an 8 but everyone else gives her a nine.
Well, to be fair to Nene, I must say that Meryl who got straight tens last week brought on just as many dancers as Nene. However, Meryl was in sync with all her dancers. I hated her choreography this week. So did Len! Bruno said she was dancing in front of six of the best dancers in the country and she pulled their eyes on her. BECAUSE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL ICE DANCER! How is that even allowed? Ricky said it also, she is a pro! That is not what this games about. But she is fun to watch! She get’s all tens expect from Len who gives her a 9.
OMG the team challenge involved Meryl and Charlie being team captains. They chose teams like in middle school dodge ball. Everyone picked on Charlies team is in jeopardy. lol. Charlie picked Nene over Candace. WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ON CANDACE? IDGI?
They have Nene dancing up in the stands alone. lol. At some point I think they guys are going to do some sort of lift. Okay, I have to admit, that may have been Nene’s best dance ever. It was almost as if she knew that she was getting the free ride, and she might have cared if she fucked up other people’s chances. But we all know she doesn’t care about other people. SIB apparently heard Nene say something about their scores and Nene immediately went into denial mode and said she was happy for the scores… lol The scores for this don’t really matter anyway.
OMG the other team ROCKED! They played their dress rehearsal because Amy is in hospital, but my GOD they were so good. They should get all 10s!!!! It was brilliant and miles above the other team. The guys all danced the dance the dance during the replay and Derek danced without a partner live for the crowd! They get all 10s except a nine from Len who is delusional tonight.
Time to eliminate Nene. Nene says she is so proud of herself and hopes she has inspired woman all over the world to be the brunt of joke for money. I paraphrase. She said , I am so proud to be here with Olympians to be Nene Leakes!
I’m kind of disgusted by her.
And thee you have it. I am now going to batten down the hatches and prepare for my ultimate demise as tornados are headed my way,,,