Okay, the first fifteen minutes of the second part of reunion were so jam packed, they have their own post here. For the remainder of the reunion, I am going to try to just hit some of the highlights, or low lights as they will likely be. I just could not get over the defensiveness of the ring leaders of the attack on Kenya in the first part of the reunion and wanted to make sure I got it all down.
One thing for sure is that Andy is having a hard time getting back into a playful groove with the ladies on the reunion. He seems way more serious than he usually does on reunions.
Andy is going in on Phaedra! When we return from break he says to her, “That night both head doctor and dick surgeon were trending on Twitter, how did that make you feel?” Phaedra says “At the end of the day (drink) I know that that’s never been a rumor, so I knew that it wasn’t the truth. And I mean, what Kenya’s talking about (that would be the deposition taken in a room full of attorneys and Phaedra when testimony is given about Phaedra’s head doctor ways. See Link) I’m not even thinking about. ” Welp, Phaedra. It must be nice to have so many legal proceedings involving you and your husband going on and not even giving them a second thought.
Andy asks Kandi what he thinks about this relationship between Phaedra and Kandi. Kandi says it just seems out of the blue to her. Oh Kandi, it’s not out of the blue, Nene needed someone to team up with to try and take down Kenya. Then Nene pops up with another “At the end of the day” comment so.. (drink!). Nene is mad now at Kandi for questioning how the two got together and asks her if she wants them to continue to fight. Kandi says she just wonders where this new friendship is coming from. Nene’s whole plan is failing so very miserably and she can’t stand it.
Mama Joyce comes out and Kenya is so up her behind and cheering her on. That’s odd. And a poor move on Kenya’s part. This is one of the times when you need to sit back and let someone else be the fool. In this case, it’s Mama Joyce’s turn. Mama Joyce has lost forty pounds over the stress the Todd situation. She says she has tried every diet in the book and it took Todd to get her in shape.
Mama Joyce doesn’t know what remorse is and that surprises no one. No need to name a feeling you’ve never had. Andy tries regret and Mama Joyce says, she regrets that people said she set him up, because she did not set him up with none of that James Bond shit. Yep no regrets, no remorse. Mama Joyce says that the only time people said bad things about her on twitter were because of that. Kandi disagrees saying that MJ is always mad about twitter and facebook comments about her. Kandi is standing up to her mother tonight, y’all!
Mama Joyce is likely drunk. It’s hard to tell with her. Apparently, Todd’s mom called MJ a bitch, likely at play. MJ said something about her having everything and Todd’s mamma ain’t got nothing. She said when she called her a bitch she wanted to come across the table but she just thought about bread (money) again. They are now subtitling her because she is so…um… off. Kandi said she didn’t think about nothing, they had to hold her down.
Mama Joyce says she raised her daughter to be a millionaire and Todd is a hundredaire. Everything she says is about money. It’s really sad to me to see someone her age who still thinks life is all about the money you make. She is literally screaming about all the stuff she has. It’s truly heartbreaking to watch her wave a “padparadscha sapphire” in Andy’s face as if it were the crown jewel. (I hate to burst her bubble but padparadscha sapphires are orange. Shhhh let her think what she wants she’s old and it’s clearly important to her.)
Mama Joyce is trying to claim that Kandi does not support her. Kandi disagrees. Kandi says that MJ took out credit cards in her name without telling her. Kandi says that her mother spent all her money on gambling and the Home Shopping Network so she had to set a budget. Kandi then says her mother doesn’t have to explain where she gets her money because she raised her and as her daughter she feels the need to give back. Kandi is getting emotional again. MJ says people don’t know “what extent she went to for her children.” MJ says that she would have been swinging on a pole if she could have rather than working ten hours a day in a pie factory.
Phaedra sneaks in another “at the end of the day.” (drink)
MJ says that she thinks that Kandi is a great writer who wrote a great play but it was not a depiction of her mother’s love. Denial, it ain’t just a river in Egypt.
Time for the Cynthia and Nene showdown. Alternately, known as the portion of the show where Nene proves she is a heartless bitch that has no friends, only people that she uses and that Cynthia is too trusting. When the infamous bitch episode aired, Cynthia realized that Nene did not respect her at all. Phaedra is over there praying to JESUS for Cynthia because she is crying. Bitch, you need to pray for your own dayum self and get your mind straight and stop insulting Christians everywhere with your Jesus schtick. Cynthia says at the end of the day (drink if you have any left) there is a sisterhood there, but she has never felt like the respect was there. Nene is not sure where that is coming from because she does not understand how to respect herself or other people. She has no concept of what the word respect means. Again, this is sad, and I don’t enjoy watch people with this much damage. I get we are all damaged people living quiet lives of despair or whatever the quote is, but seeing this level of emotional detachment and desperation playing out on the TV is becoming a bit much to handle. How am I to make fun of the hypocrisy of you wearing a Johnny Tremain hat on your head while calling another woman wig, when you are so very clearly such a fucked up mess?
Everybody tries to tell Nene that she is being a bitch, even Andy and then Andy and Nene exchange words. Kandi tries to get through to Nene. Kenya tries to explain the concept of friendship to Nene and Nene goes off again. Nene says she is an excellent friend! I think Nene thinks being a good friend is buying them stuff. I really think that is the problem for most of these women. Money is their only currency. The only thing they value. Andy takes another whack at Nene listing all of her former friends she has fallen out with. Cynthia basically says Nene can dish a heaping mound of shit out there but she can’t take the tiniest bit of shade thrown her way. Cynthia is mad that Nene blogs about her negatively instead of calling her directly. Wow, Nene is worked up now!
Nene seems angry at Kenya for being friends with Cynthia. Nene is screaming at Kenya that Cynthia is no damn angel. Kenya says, “The moose has spoken.” Nene responds with “Yes she has.” And Nene is down for the count.
Next week: The men, and perhaps the best line of the whole reunion when Nene tells Kenya that she sits up here an acts the fool for two dollas and fifty cents. ROFLMAO. That is Nene’s entire life. Playing the joke for quarters like an organ grinder’s monkey. But the organ grinder’s monkey doesn’t run around claiming they are rich bitches making millions of dollars when it just is not true.
Alright I am not editing this tonight. I still have WWHL left to go and I’m mentally exhausted.