I am not sure what anyone expected Lindsay on OWN to be. Those who expected or hoped for a redemption story were woefully denied that outcome. Those who were expected amazing ratings were also disappointed. What we got was a whole lot of Lindsay in denial and unable to accept the help that was provided to her in large quantities. In stead we saw relapses, fuck lists and lots and lots of excuses.
It’s interesting to note that, due most likely to ratings that plummeted below 500,000 total viewers, the final two episodes were flushed out all at once last Sunday. It seems that OWN just wants it to be over.
In the seventh (of eight) episodes, Lindsay refuses to let production film her preparing to go to a Funny or Die shoot. She also very nearly missed the shoot with an afternoon call time because she would not get out of bed. Then she claimed to be sick and when asked to do two pick-up lines. She said she wasn’t up to it. TWO LINES that would take less than five minutes. She doesn’t seem to realize that she is a bitch to work with and extremely unprofessional and she is being filmed. How does she ever expect to get work?
She is late again leaving for the Jingle Ball where she has been hired to introduce Miley Cyrus because she has to wait for her teenaged Russian boyfriend who kept her up all night the night before playing Dare or Dare with a knife with his friends. You know what else Russian boys like to do all night? Drink vodka. At the Jingle Ball Miley refuses to meet with Lindsay and ignores her tweets. Her minder, Matt tries to shut her up about Miley’s snub reminding her she is wearing a mike.
Despite having the a really cushy community service gig (working with young children!!!) she complains in her talking head that the legal system ought to just tell her she doesn’t have to do her community service anymore.
Lindsay doesn’t seem to comprehend why she is having problems booking work. It’s hard to remember that Lindsay is only 27 years old.
On the final episode, Lindsay has a photo shoot for a minor magazine. She shows up on time and does the work without issue. Progress.
Lindsay talks to a literary agent about a book deal. I would by the book. The agent expects to get a multi-million dollar deal.
Lindsay and her brother are working on an app called Just Sing It which is some sort of Karaoke thing. They went to promote the app at an event with an open bar.
Lindsay goes to Shanghai to receive a fashion award and do a couple of photoshoots. Then she heads to Utah for the Sundance Film Festival where she will speak at a press conference about a new movie project, Inconceivable that she has been cast in. The producer seems super impressed to have her. After the press conference, a Wall Street Journal guy gives her a bit of a hard interview but she handled it fine.
Matt goes back to LA for a bit without really saying why. The show puts up a couple of tabloid stories claiming that Lindsay could not longer afford to pay an assistant after the show wrapped. It sounds like OWN was paying Matt’s bill.
The show ends with lots of candid interviews with people who have seen some of the first episodes. There are some good comments and some very negative ones.
After six weeks in LA Matt goes back to New York at Lindsay’s request. I love how Matt is always in a suit and tie. Matt attempts to deny the tabloid story about Lindsay not being able to pay her. He says he always gets paid upfront. Matt is back in town mainly to do press for the show with Lindsay. She is going to do Letterman and Andy Cohen…
The owner of the apartment Lindsay is renting wants to sell the apartment so she has to move out. She talks about the fuck list saying it is either step five or step 8 of her recovery to take a sexual inventory. Um, this is twice now this girl has made me double-check to see if one of the steps is actually to make a fuck list and provide it to your sponsor. The closest I can come is step four which involves taking a moral inventory. I would think acknowledging that you are a big ole slut would be sufficient without naming names.
Then Lindsay drops her final bombshell excuse. The reason she stopped filming so much was because she had a miscarriage. Lindsay starts rambling about seeing a shaman and seeing herself die and be born. She says she feels good and that she is happy. I should point out that she is crying while telling this story. She claims to be in a better place and looking forward to her fresh start.
But is sounds so hollow and untrue.
There will not be another season of Lindsay.