We return at the exact point we left off last week because apparently knowing every little detail of Vicki’s relationship with Brooks is everyone’s business. Vicki tells Tamra and Heather that Brooks is part of her happiness and that she loves him. Vicki says they did not talk for two months and they both went to counseling separately and are back together.
Vikki wants to live with Brooks now that she is “one week divorced.” That is sort of sad. Tamra and Vikki are determined to get Heather to act like a lunatic and get drunk but she has an early flight tomorrow to get back to her kids. Oh and she also has decorum, a word the other two should probably look up.
Speaking of words people need to look up, Shannon needs to look up the word ‘cotillion’. It is not a class for children that teaches etiquette and dance. A cotillion is a formal ball most often for the presentation of debutantes into polite society, or a military formal dance. I suppose the etiquette classes that young girls take have a cotillion component, but I’ve just never heard the word used the way Shannon does.
The girls are having some sort of Halloween (??) tarot card reading party. I missed the point of it exactly if there was one. I’m not really focused on the show tonight for some reason. Of course Tamra is telling the event planners to scare Heather. Why? Why do women do this? Do women in the real world actually act this way? Because it seems very common on the housewives shows, but I don’t associate with anyone remotely this calculating and manipulative.
I am not a fan of Halloween parties, but I must say this one looks spooktacular! Tamra’s event planners really went all out! Vicki and Shannon bond right away. This seems to bother both Heather and Tamra.
Vicki finally got Brianna and her idiot husband out of her house but now her son Michael is staying with her. He doesn’t seem any nicer than Brianna. Poor Vick.
Heather, Shannon and Tamra go to dinner. Heather uses the word ‘tactile’ this frustrates Tamra who insists that Heather not use “big words.” Instead of expecting the world to dumb down to Tamra’s level, she should probably take a basic reading and vocabulary course at the local community college. Or even a verbal SAT prep class for high school students.
Shannon went to some sort of holistic dentist who “put jewels inside her teeth.” I’m sure he convinced her he did just that. He also convinced her that in a previous life she saved “and entire nation” so after she said she could not pay $20K a tooth for invisible jewels he did it for free. Heather ever so gently tried to point out that Shannon may be a tad on the gullible side. Tamra of course took offense to Heather saying, “people like you” because Tamra is so intimidated by Heather she perceives EVERYTHING as condescending. That is Tamra’s issue, not Heather’s.
Tamra, who is going to court with Simon where he is seeking full custody based on child neglect, wants to have more kids because she only gets to see the old kids 50% of the time, so she wants to make some new ones to replace them. Eddie is not down with the idea. Neither am I. We really don’t need to continue to replicate Tamra’s gene pool. Heather tries to tell Tamra more kids will not replace what she has lost.
Vicki does on camera therapy because that always goes well on these shows. Vicki wants to know how to let go. Then in the same breath she says you don’t let go of your kids, ever!
I really like Shannon. She is crazy, but harmless crazy. Wait, the tiny little shack of 5K square feet that Terry can’t abide living in while he and Heather build another monstrosity is three minute’s from Shannon’s stunning mansion? Terry is such a diva. He’s thrilled that his house is the only one with a motor court. I just don’t get this sort of materialism. It’s never made sense to me. I guess I am just a simple girl with simple needs who doesn’t require more than one bathroom to clean.
Shannon and David are both stressing out over their dinner party. They don’t seem to get along very well. Shannon starts screaming at the guests from the kitchen asking them why they can’t carry on a conversation out there. David is carving the meat and Shannon is irritated that the potatoes are not tender enough. There is a lot of tension for such an elegant event.
How the hell do you make a cream of anything soup that is dairy free. If you don’t eat dairy then you don’t eat cream of celery soup. It’s simple. Shannon and David argue about zodiac signs and other trivial matters. Vicki says it reminds her of her relationship with Don. And it is similar.
Next week the dinner party continues.