Dance Moms Season Finale Recap: Everyone’s Replaceable!

Dance Moms No Maddie TeamWe begin with Mrs. Miller dying. For women, the loss of a mother is one of the most difficult experiences in life. It focuses your understanding on the finite nature of life and makes you reevaluate your priorities. And Abby’s priority is sucking the life force out of her dancers and belittling them at pyramid. So let’s get started!

This week the girls strutted in wearing team jackets and looking like a cohesive team. Abby says it’s okay the lost last week and that they should probably have taken the week off. Maddie cries. And it’s time for pyramid. Last week Chloe danced a routine that had all the choreographic intricacy of the hokey pokey. Thus, she came in fifth. Abby knows full well this is not Chloe’s fault, because it is part of her diabolical plan to crush Chloe’s soul. Next is Nia.  Because Abby hates Nia and doesn’t work with her individually. Abby’s feedback is a dismissive, “you still have a long way to go.”  That is the kind of critique she  is paying the big bucks for. Next is Kalani, because Abby has to hide her obsession with Kalani from Maddie. It’s like Maddie is Abby’s wife and Kalani is the exciting new side piece. That sounded a bit wrong. It was unintentional. Plus, if she places Kalani properly on the pyramid she will have to go against Maddie, and she would likely beat her. Abby will not  allow that. Abby tells Kalani, “You were beautiful in the group. You’re kind of just…there.”  Next is Kendall. Mostly because she did not win her solo. Then there is the chosen one. Followed by Mackenzie, because she did a video!  Did she even dance at all last week? It doesn’t matter. This pyramid has never been about the girls’ dance performance.

AbbyLee Miller

Meet the new team!

Abby has finally settled on a new team. There is a new Maddie, a new Chloe, etc. etc.  She has someone to put in to compete against each of them. Everyone is replaceable! The new girls walk in and look pretty fierce. They too are sporting ALDC gear and look like a team. Kira immediately goes in on one of the girls, Sara and her mom who are from her hometown in Arizona. But in an amazing twist, Sara is not there to compete against Kalani, no gentle readers, she is there to humiliate Nia. Nia talks a little trash in her talking head! You go girl!  Ava is up against Kendall. Jade is a seasoned competition dancer there to take on Kalani.  Tia is a freckled-faced girl with pony tails with her eye on beating Mackenzie. Sarah, who is from the ALDC already is 8 and Abby wants someone in that division, so Mackenzie really has two competitors, because in some competitions it is 8 and under and in others it is 9 and under. That or she is there because her mother, Christy, and Melissa hate each other.  Kamryn is going up against Chloe. Kamryn is a 7 time national champion and 14 years old.

You may have noticed that Maddie didn’t have a match up with the new girls. That is because Abby is afraid to match her up against anyone. I’m quite sure she won’t have a solo for this completion. Not only that, she has taken Maddie off the team entirely and put her on the new fake team.

Kalani and Kendall are doing a duet. Sarah and Ava are also doing a duet. They also have the two most hated Dance Moms from the new team. What a coinky dink!

Chloe is doing a lyrical solo. Kamryn is the girl that Abby puts against her. Looks like only one solo per team.

The new dance moms are a bunch of thugs. Sarah’s mom, Christy, reminds me of that Christian warrior lady on wife swap who called everyone “dark-sided!!!!”  She just screamed “The Lord Rebuke You!” to Melissa? Christi? No one in particular?  This is going to be awesome.

Practice for the new group’s group dance shows that Maddie will be featured. Oh of course she will. Christy Christian Warrior’s (CCW)  kid is getting a lot of corrections. She’s 8 but CCW doesn’t think her kid needs any corrections despite always begging Abby for more time with her kid.

Every time, Chloe rehearses Abby plays Angry Birds on her cellphone.

All the moms except CCW go out for drinks. Of course the two groups magically end up at the same place. Nothing says good storyline like two drunk factions of dance moms! Kira almost gets physical as her inner street thug bubbles out. Kira was trash talking a child on the other team! No Bueno.

First up is the new girls duet. I was good. The choreography was good. They were mostly in sync. There was nothing particularly attention grabbing about it.

Kalani and Kendall’s duet was also good. They didn’t seem quite as in sync as they could have been. Their costumes were cool. They both gave great face. Frankly, it’s a toss-up for me.

Candy Apples Kathy is there and busts into the ALDC dance moms to be dramatic. Abby runs Kamryn’s solo with her, while Chloe runs hers alone in the corner.

Kamryn’s solo was good. Abby loved it. I had to rewind twice because my mind wandered to other things. The choreography was complex and Kamryn is a beautiful dancer, but I just couldn’t get into it.

Chloe’s dance was awesome. FINALLY she gets some choreography that allows her to shine. Plus the music was haunting and emotional and dragged you into the performance. I had chills. I think Chloe should win. Then again, Chloe is my favorite so I am a tad bit biased.

CCW mom walks into the real team’s dressing room to try to get Melissa to go into the B team’s room to pray over the team. Melissa takes a pass. CCW gets into it with Abby and calls her liar. Abby ejects CCW and her kid from the group dance. For someone who is from ALDC, CCW sure doesn’t seem to understand how Abby operates.

The dance mom from Arizona that Kira likes to taunt is puking in a trashcan because she can’t take the pressure.

Chloe WINS! The new team has a lyrical number. It was very good. I totally expect this group to take first, especially because the regular team number is not lyrical…it’s jazz or something. Each girl on this team was exceptional.

The real team started off  with Chloe a bit out of her spot but she quickly corrected. Kendall lip synced a bit. These are all minor issues but it might be enough to cost them first. Holly and the girls seem to think they did great. And they did. But it wasn’t spot on perfect to me. And sadly, Chloe seemed to be a bit off for most of the dance.

Oh crap. Kendall and Kalani’s dance got third. The new team took second place. Abby is going to be pissed at all of these girls. Jill thinks Kendall and Kalani were robbed.  They weren’t. They just weren’t anything to write home about.

The real team takes second. The new team takes first. I think that is how it should have gone. Of course Maddie accepts the trophy. Of course she does.

Kamryn takes third place for her solo. I guess she bored the judges too. CHLOE GOT FIRST! CHLOE GOT FIRST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY CHLOE GOT FIRST!

My DVR cut off while Abby was explaining that her long-term goal is to have two competition teams. I have a feeling it doesn’t matter because the season is over and this was the finale. We will have to see who shows up at ALDC next season. I’d like to see that Jade girl come and give Maddie a run for her money.

Why didn’t they go to nationals this season? Or if they did go why wasn’t it filmed?

Next week: It’s the Reunion: Seeing Red and it looks like a major bitchfest.

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31 Comments

Filed under Abby Lee Miller, Dance Moms

31 responses to “Dance Moms Season Finale Recap: Everyone’s Replaceable!

  1. The Daily Blabber

    They will show when they go to Nationals and stuff during the second half of the season this summer.

    • Thanks. I don’t understand this whole GINORMOUS “mid season hiatus” or whatever it is. I thought we would probably have Abby Lee’s Dance competition or whatever it’s called this summer.

      On Wed, Apr 16, 2014 at 4:13 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

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      • The Daily Blabber

        No problem. I never watch the dance comp, I get more than enough of Abby during Dance Moms. She’s a horrid woman.

      • Scatty

        I don’t get it either. I totally missed the last half last season because I thought it was over.

  2. LisaLisaDiva

    WHEW…you woulda thought Chloe was my child when she won first!!. Chloe is a fave of mine too. Abby gets a lot of money to be a big ole beyotch to her customers. I wouldn’t pay money for that kind a BS. That heffa wouldn’t get a dime out of me for all that half ass hidden favoritism and bitchy ass pettiness.

    • Not only wouldn’t she get a dime she would be picking herself up off the floor. I’m usually non violent but when it comes to my child I become a mean mama grizzly bear protecting her cub! Those mothers are fools! there is no amount of money in the world available to allow me to let my child’s spirit be broken over and over. And Jill is the worst one becasue she sits there and lets Abby talk crazy to her and her child, smiles and takes it then goes back to the others to bitch about it. How many of us see future therapy appointments or trips to rehab in some of these girl’s futures?

    • I think Chloe is the loveliest child on television, period. She always says please and thank you, and good luck and she is a sweet, delightful child who is crapped on by Abby week after week year after year with terrible choreography so that Maddie or whoever is against her wins. The group number made no sense to me, combat boots and maids uniforms, wtf?
      Nobody had a chance to dazzle with that dreadful routine. And all the garbage about MacKenzie being the next superstar? Is she insane? Give me a break. Word on the street (stolen from Aviva on rhony) is that Chloe is practicing at another studio and is only filming to fulfill the rest of her contract. Abby conveniently forgets that it was Chloe, not Maddie who won the scholarship to Joffrey School in N.Y. Why? Because lard-ass wasn’t allowed in the room to advocate for Maddie. I don’t know why I am getting so verklempt. Sorry, rant over. Viva Chloe and all the other sweet girls on that team. Abby should put her stuffed dog up her ass.

  3. willlynn

    Ms. T, are we going to have to put out a missing person’s report on Thaliia? You think Jill and Melissa kidnapped the poor girl and have her hidden in the basement or something?

  4. O.O

    Every time I watch this I’m more confused, can this be real? What kind of adult attacks someone else’s child? The horror!
    What is wrong in the hearts and minds of these mom, that they would allow their own children to be degraded by Abby . These kids are going to need therapy for a loooong time when they grow up and realize that the person who was supposed to protect, guide and build them up, allowed them to be abused.

    • Cat

      I totally agree. I try not to watch this show, because I end up hoping that Maddie falls on her face, and that’s just wrong. She’s a kid, after all, and it makes me feel awful that this show brings out such things in me. It’s not Maddie’s fault.

  5. Wookie

    I loved your run down of Dance Moms! You made me question why I ever stopped watching it, but I think I will start watching again now. Chloe was always my favorite. I guess because she seemed the sweetest of the bunch, had talent and was definitely the underdog. I couldn’t stand how Abby treated her. Oh yeah, that’s why I stopped watching….vicious Abby berating and humiliating the girls however, I hated all the moms too. So freaking annoying. By the time all the poor girls are grown, they will either shine or they will crumble from all the years of abuse coming from Abby. Back to all the mom’s….they should all be bitch slapped. The housewife shows all suck so bad now that I can easily replace them with Abby’s antics.😊

  6. HannahKingRose

    I had a similar experience with my sons. My eldest son had the voice of an angel and at 9 years old auditioned and was chosen to join a boys’ choir in our hometown. The director was a lady in her 80’s who had been in charge for 40 years. My son sang so well he was chosen to sing O Holy Night at Christmas at the White House. This old lady was on par with Abby. Nothing pleased her. She always found fault with everything. She was just plain mean. I tried getting close to her to see if she would be nicer to Blake. Didn’t work. He enjoyed singing and being in the group. He hated being berated by the director. If she got angry at a child, she would strip them of their solo. I allowed it to happen for a while. I must say my son learned to sing and still can even though she was a tyrant. There came a time where I could no longer bear to watch my son have to deal with this evil, self confidence destroying, and hateful crone. I finally went to her and told her that the only stupid, ignorant person (her favorite put down) in the choir was her. I told her that I was sorry that she was such a miserable, mean person that she took out all her frustrations on the children but that mine was not going to continue to be her whipping boy. I said that she would never change and I don’t think Abby will either. Both these women feel that they are perfect and anything but perfection from the children makes them look bad and they aren’t willing for anyone to have that perception of them. They don’t care if they come across in public as horrible people. They think the end justifies the means. Too bad no one will ever convince either one of them that they are wrong.

    • Wookie

      Hannah, I agree with everything you said and I’m sorry to hear that your innocent son had to endure emotional abuse and to me, that’s exactly what it is…abuse. I’m glad to hear you were in tune enough to what the old hag was doing and got your son out of there. I wish I could have heard your son sing that song! I know you will never forget it. There ought to be limits on the instructors of children. Just how far they can go without crossing the line. They need to be held accountable because they can seriously scar a child.

  7. Did you see the ad about Abbey going to other Dance Studios and ‘fixing’ them??? I just went and looked it up and it’s called Abby’s Studio Rescue. Amazing how she keeps getting these other shows besides Dance Moms.

  8. I think Abby feels for Chloe the way she did about Brooke and Paige — loves the kid, but can’t stand the mom. I think she took Kelly’s attitudes and whatever because she and Kelly have a looooong history together. It was nothing new. Kelly just finally gave her what she needed to get rid of her with her assault. Abby figures Christie can go too if she treats Chloe not badly but without attention (which may be bad huh…..why don’t we say not antagonistically). Abby knows Chloe is good. We all do. I miss the days when Chloe would be up there with Maddie and sometimes beat her.

  9. Kelly Martin

    I’ve watched this show since the beginning. I’ve seen Chloe beat Maddie twice – once in competition and the other “win” was for a ballet scholarship / summer position with the prestigious Joffrey Ballet School. Funny how Abby NEVER mentions Chloe’s ballet win… surely that’s more important than ANY win that Maddie has ever had in competition. Anyway, I digress… I cried tears of joy for Chloe when she won this week. Love that sweet, little girl.

  10. The worse Abby treats Chloe the more popular she becomes. She just had a meet and greet in Australia. When you read her and her mom’s social media accounts, they seem pretty grounded. There is a finite period to this and they are making the most of it while they can.

  11. Xanadude

    I had to rewind and the rebuking several times. Abby’s smile during it was one of the few times I think she let her guard down in front of the camera and realized how ridiculous the whole thing is.

  12. Mariah

    This was only the mid season finale so nationals will probably be on the second half

  13. bravocueen

    2 things. One, that was DEFINITELY a fake bar. I paused during the broohaha and you could see cubicles and people standing at them in the background. Two, am I the only one that noticed there was NOBODY in the audience other than the dance moms? I checked out almost every scene. I think the competition was faked. It was in the script for the fake team to win. What I don’t get is whether Christy was scripted to continually act like a psycho and have her kid yanked. If it was, the little girl was a heck of an actor. I know T likes her, but I think Abby Lee Miller is the worst kind of awful. I won’t watch after the conclusion of this season, but I’ll definitely read these updates.

    • It really is more and more fake….

      On Fri, Apr 18, 2014 at 1:14 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      • Hysa

        The show is faked. Heard from a few real dance teachers that camera crews arent allowed in the comps because its a danger to have the crews with all the wires and hanging lights in the comps. Too many wires everywhere may lead to a dancer falling and messing up her dance future..they are definitely not allowed in the back to film before the kid dances because again the wires everywhere..the lighting requires more wires. Idk what to think but what I have been reading is that brooke and paige stopped dancing at ALDC three yrs ago (from kellys own twitter she posted this) they only filmed there. Anyway.. I usually fast foward to the dancing.. the mom vs abbey thing is really ridiculous even if its fake..

      • So no dancing shows can ever be made because of wires and lighting. Got it. I guess that is why no competitions are ever on television. If it wasn’t for wires and lighting we would probably have lots of dance competitions and singing shows and the like. I can only imagine what that would be like.

  14. Hysa

    Ppl say the drama is needed for the success of the series.. personally more ppl are fast fowarding to the dancing which tells me many ppl are sick of the drama. Yes most likely the show is fake and thats ok I guess..What I dont find ok is the fact that the tears are real.. so if the show is fake.. do the children know it is fake?

  15. BeckyD

    Loved the article and your perspective. I too am very fond of Chloe; she is THE perfect baletina in look grace–in her dance ability. how she carried herself and last but not least her sweet, thoughtful personality. I also love Maddie. In fact she was the first one I saw the first time I watched the show. It was a 2011 episode can I was totally in shock and how great that girl danced She too is extremely talented and graceful. I also think Mackenzie is an extremely talented little girl and yes she does do cute a lot but what’s wrong with that at 7 with her talent? I also was well by Asia but her mother sort of irked me when she took a shot at McKinsey & being cute. She doesn’t think Asia does some cute also?

  16. BeckyD

    Hi everybody, please forgive my weird errors . This is my first smart? Phone and I got so frustrated over the small keys on the keyboard I thought I would try speaking into this microphone – well, it makes a really bizarre errors and while I’m sitting here thinking what to say next it types a nonsensical sentence but has nothing to do with the subject at hand I was reading for you the first time it happened . There’s an example that was the word reading was supposed to be freaky . I asked for it to be deleted but its been awhile since anyone has been here and it may not get deleted so I hope you can make sense out of it the errors. My apologies. I would like to make a comment about Abby. When I first started watching I thought that she was the most horrible woman I have ever seen in her behavior and the way she talks to people. The way she tells the mothers what to do and make some work do sequins and beads and hats and lions and tigers and bears. I love the look on her face when she threw the chair lovely wasn’t it you know she really is a pretty woman if she could lose some weight and I know personal experience that is easier said than done alright I think she has lost some for a new show I hope she can keep going then I got some stoner got some stoner? I got soft on her after she had revealed a little more about herself. She’s wanting to prepare the girls for real career and dance and she knows how much competition is out there how hard it is to getting to a Broadway show a movie and TV show and how they don’t put up with more than about two seconds worth. She’s willing to make them tough so they’re ready for the tough, no nonsense directors auditioning, the jealousy among the competition etcetera. And I think that’s a good thing to prepare them but I think her delivery system is off.
    I don’t thinks he has a clue how much damage she could do. One of the mothers, I think it was Kelly, spoke of burnout I’m with these tales of girls like Chloe and Maddie that would be a real shame. But all the hurt feelings and crying and name calling can cause even worse damage. I can understand or trying to coach the girls to be more independent but they are still very young and I think it’s terrible the way she encourages them to disregard completely their mother’s wishes like the sit+in out in the parking lot for Kelly, Brooke, and Paige.

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