Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2014

Just when we though we could put this show to bed for the season, Bravo tacks on a “Secrets Revealed” episode. As we all know by now, there will be no secrets revealed. It’s just more reunion.

Kim says that she and Brandi “just click.” I am not sure she knows what that means. Those two have tried to kill each other since day one. We are treated to a scene where Kim is called in to help Brandi memorize her three lines for a Lifetime movie. Kim says that Brandi is no Meryl Streep. Brandi teaches Kim how to pole dance on the pole….in her bedroom.

Kyle has a clothing line coming out for HSN. Who doesn’t. She hired a coach to prepare her to sell the line. She suggests deodorant on her top lip. How much does she get paid for this nonsense?

Giggy Dance RHOBH

Gif by T. Kyle RealityTVGifs

Yolanda and Carlton take their men out on a group dinner date. David Foster has only on topic of conversation. His work.  Lisa and Ken and Joyce and Michael also go on a double date to dinner. They talk about sports, and Giggy, and German penises. I think I’d prefer dinner with Lisa and Joyce and their mates.

Brandi and Carlton both deny showing up to Kim’s graduation party drunk. Andy pointed out that they sure seemed drunk.

Yolanda tries and fails to explain David’s statement to the press saying they are all a bunch clowns. Lisa is clearly offended. In fact, everyone except Brandi, who is a clown was offended.

Taylor filmed a scene with Kim to talk about lip injections. Which is very odd since Kim and basically the whole world make fun Taylor’s lips all the time.

Lisa is planning an outdoor wedding venue for PUMP. I really hope that gets to be its own spinoff.

That said, there was absolutely no need for this episode. Did y’all watch?

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46 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Taylor Armstrong, Yolanda Foster

46 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed

  1. Thanks, Tamara! I read you so I don’t have to watch. Yolanda and David Foster are the two most boring people on earth. I agree on which dinner to go to. They HAVE to do a PUMP/Lisa marries people spin off.

  2. Terri

    If I’d done shots for every celebrity David Foster bragged about being friends with, recording, producing, clinging to for dear life to make himself relevant, I’d have been too hung over to come to work today. He and Yolanda are so impressed with themselves that no one else needs to care at all about them. I would have much preferred dinner with Lisa, Ken, Joyce & Michael. Brandi & Carlton should admit to being drunk because at least that would be an excuse for their behavior. I enjoyed the interaction between Kim & Taylor. Taylor’s comments were actually pretty funny.

    • I watched this last night for background noise while making dinner and I thought the same thing about Taylor. She was funny, and so much more relatable and relaxed. She should’ve been like that while she was on the show and she might still be on. I wouldn’t be disappointed if they brought “this” Taylor back.

      • Taylor back on RHOBH? Yuck, yuck, and yuck.

      • The same ‘ole Taylor I’d totally agree tootsie, she was never my favorite at’all. But the quick lil clip they showed of her really did seem like a different person. I’d take anyone over Carlton though at this point, even the ‘ole yuck Taylor, lol.

  3. No, I didn’t, I decided to wait for your recap.

  4. jrleaguer

    Brandi’s bedroom looks like it belongs to a teenage girl and not an over 40 year old woman…it explains a lot.

    • Epiphanie

      Agreed! It is HIDEOUSLY tacky, particularly the silver drawers. I had a headache looking at all the pink and chrome, ugh.

  5. Xanadude

    Just a prurient question, but who is the dom and who is the sub in the Carlton/hubby relationship?

  6. Angel

    I liked this better than most regular episodes. There wasn’t any fighting, seemed to be less scripted, just friends doing what they do in their world. This is probably why it did not make the first cut and others probably find it boring. I enjoyed the Villa Blanca scene because I got a better look into that beautiful restaurant than previously. I would love to go there.

    I agree, David Foster is all about him and who he works with. I think Yolanda is probably just his ornament and manager of his personal upkeep. I do not know what she would see in him except being on the arm of a well known, respected, monied man. Match made in heaven I guess. I see more actual love between the fiesty Lisa and Ken.

    • Karma

      Angel
      I total agree David looks like a lizard to me he’s disgusting can’t imagine waking up 2 that head every morning EWW

      I honestly can’t see love between them all i see is a women (YoFo) wanting to marry someone with contacts maybe she thinks if may help her precious Gigi. become a super model plus she also loves to name drop she prob wets her pants everytime she meets a celeb

      As for David marrying her well he does need someone to escort him to certain events plus why hire a made when YoFo does everything 4 him exp wipe his ass….well i hope she doesn’t LOL

      • David Foster is 64 years old and probably in the top 10% or better looks wise of men in his age group. He’s just a name dropper and a has a huge ego. I’d do him.

        On Wed, Apr 9, 2014 at 10:27 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

  7. 'TheJam'

    I was entertained by all of Kyle’s jealous looks towards lisa during episode three of the reunion and this show. It really seemed like Kyle is disgusted anytime lisa is happy, proud or comfortable.

  8. Nope, didn’t watch. I wasn’t even expecting you to recap since it was sure to be more of the same boring non-secret crap we saw during the reunion.

  9. WhyOWhy

    I had the episode on in the background as I was doing other things at the same time.

    David Foster is so slimy.
    Did anyone else catch the dig Brandi shot at Lisa about living in Calabasas?
    Joyce needs to stop talking about “pee pees” all the time. It’s annoying. Though, the dinner with Ken and Lisa at least seemed normal.
    Kyle is an idiot.
    Kim is irrelevant.
    Carlton is semi-normal… her husband strikes me as douchey.

    I’m glad this season is over.

    Love live Lady Vanderpump!

  10. Anna

    Nope- saw David and Yolanda, and Carlton and her husband….(bad enough) And THEN Daveet opened his mouth.”Me. Me, I, I , Me, I… Yolanda is NOT telling the truth about the CLOWN story either. David probably caught a lot of flack for being so unsupportive on the show & producers were probably saying, “WHY should we keep this woman on?” Really, I dont believe it. She took the blame, and of COURSE “it was a joke, and I’m a clown too!” A lot of back pedaling, WAY too LATE for both of them. Those two are abhorrant, and the company they kept that night for dinner are equally so. Wow, what a toxic foursome. They ALL need to go.

    • Terri

      You’re so right. David’s attitude toward the women has been completely disrespectful since his first appearance on the show. Yolanda making excuses for her “love” doesn’t cut it. They add nothing to the show in my opinion.

    • glimmer88

      I don’t believe it either for one second.

    • kb

      Anna- I too did not believe that story Yolanda tried to spew about the “clown” comment David made. I believe that is how he really feels and that is why we never saw him as much as the other husbands, and frankly I don’t feel he was too far off the mark. He just needed to include his wife in that insult. She is just as involved in the shenanigans on the show as anyone else. ANNNNNND she is usually the one that starts the trouble. So yes, they can act like clowns, but Yolanda is the ring leader. No pun intended….

      • vivaladiva831

        I think she was trying to cover for him also, by taking the blame. What an idiot. Why did I like her in the beginning?

      • Karma

        ITA with all the above comments about David’ back peddling & Yolanda BS cover up story.

        There two CLOWNS honestly believe they’re better than anyone else.
        Plus Lemon-Lyme wants her own healthy show or DYI home decor show.

        Hey YoFo ain’t gonna happen love move on

        .show

  11. barbinga

    I watched. Clearly all the lighthearted fun that could have been interjected into the season was saved for lost footage. I hate that.

    • Kaleesi

      Vivaladiva831;
      You liked her in the beginning like most of us did, because she was a fake, fakey fakerton who showed us the version of her self she wanted us all to see. She had most of us fooled with her lemons and Lyme.

      • Karma

        TBH

        I didn’t like YoFo or Brandi from their 1st appearance i got a lot of people arguing with me which didn’t both me coz it was just my opinion & explained that 2 them & Im allowed my opinion as they are allowed theirs.

        I don’t know what it was but i just couldn’t stand either of them from day one only time i felt a little sorry for Brandi was game night but that didn’t last long LOL

  12. loriflack

    Did not watch, therefore I am curious about the German penises !

  13. glimmer88

    I watched but the Kim scenes made me CRINGE. She and Brandi “just click…we just click”…..wtf?? Obviously Kim does not have a very good memory or her definition of clicking is different than mine. Also that STUPID scene with her and Joyce and the Spanish gibberish was ridiculous. I feel sorry for her kids having to watch their mother act so silly but I guess they are used to it by now. I have to FF through it cause I couldn’t take it anymore. Kim please GO !!!!! Also the PP PP PP PP PP from Joyce……… more cringes. Yeah I cringed alot during this ep. TT—yep I could’ve definitely done without it as well lol. ( but I always watch : ) )
    Looking forward to seeing how OC is gonna roll this season………

  14. gerly1

    I just can’t with Yolanda and David. They are both just yuck.

    Joyce has actually sort of grown on me, I enjoyed the conversation between her and Lisa in the car. It was so normal.

    Carlton is just so out there. She talks out of both sides of her mouth, and never really did explain what Wicca was. It’s not that complicated it’s considered earth majick. Own it Carlton.

    Brandi, Kim and Kyle – I got nothing even remotely nice to say about any of them so I’ll just leave it at that.

    I’d love to get married by Lisa, that would be a hoot! In her pink robe LOL

  15. I didn’t watch. None of that seemed remotely interesting other than Kim and Taylor talking about lip injections. Please tell me they showed a flashback of Kim drunkenly yelling: “WHY DON’T YOU GO BLOW UP YOUR LIPS SOME MORE!”

  16. Thanks for the recap TT. I didn’t watch, but in reading the post I can’t help but wonder, where are the secrets? Sounds like a boring end to a way beyond boring season of RHOBH.

  17. Valerie

    I haven’t watched it yet. I can’t stomach Yolanda anymore, and now that I know David name dropped whenever he opened his mouth at dinner I might just delete it. Insufferable.

  18. First off Tamara, I LOVE that gif of Jiggy! Second, perhaps I’m a grudge holder, but how could anyone “click” with another person who called them a meth addict?

  19. Karma

    completely disappointing i would’ve like to have seen all the accusations made by Brandi that Lisa put the magazines in her suitcase regarding Kyle marriage,

    I also would’ve live to have seen footage me the phone call Brandi made to Joyce warning her bout Lisa can dish it out but can’t take it.

    The conversation between YoFo & Brandi backstabing Lisa.

    I also heard that Brandi also backstabbed Kyle.

    What happened to the footage at the party when Brandi said to Lisa just check mated you bitch what was that in reference to yes we can guess but it’ll only be a guess
    Bravo really did such a shit job this season with their editing. they edited all the good bits and left us wit. scrapes

    Are they in someway protecting YoFo & Brandi coz it sure as hell looks like that to me

    • Terri

      It always annoys me when they don’t show the footage of the things that have caused problems throughout the season. When they tape the reunion show they already know what the hot topics will be. They should have the footage ready so the housewives can’t lie so much.

    • Yes! And what about the scene at the beginning of the season where Yolanda is talking and insinuates that someone (I assume she is talking about Lisa) is blackmailing Mauricio and Kyle.

      • Terri

        I’d love to see what sort of spin Yolanda would have put on it if they’d shown that clip. I really hope Yolanda isn’t on next season. I have a very low tolerance for her.

  20. Kyle, Brandi and Yolonda are so obviously jealous of Lisa’s success with Vanderpump Rules, which beat RHBH ratings every week, that they can barely keep from scratching her eyes out. They want all the attention on themselves, but honestly, watching paint dry is more exciting than Yolonda painting in the lemon grove, Kyle getting her daughters ears pierced, or Brandi on the pole in her bedroom.

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