I’ve Been Hired To Ghostwrite Brandi Glanville’s Third Book, Tweeting and Parenting!

Brandi At least I'm not doing Chrystal Meth in the Bathroom

Yep! It’s True! I am the Ghostwriter (please don’t tell anyone, no one knows Brandi has a ghost writer) For her next book, Tweeting and Parenting!  Here is my outline so far.

Chapter One: Girl, You’re a Woman Now Keep Your Tampon Private
Chapter Two: Time To Stop Making out With Your Gay Male Friends
Chapter Three: Outing Others For Using a Surrogate is a Bad Idea (My most read post ever)
Chapter Four:  How To Play The Victim Card

Chapter Six: Show You Kids How Friends Should Be Treated
Chapter Seventeen: Never Exploit Your Children Or Make Them Media Opportunities
Chapter Nineteen: Never Publically Argue With Your Child’s Step Mother On Twitter

I’m gonna need some help to get to twenty chapters. Who has some chapter ideas for me?

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43 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

43 responses to “I’ve Been Hired To Ghostwrite Brandi Glanville’s Third Book, Tweeting and Parenting!

  1. Why black girls can’t swim, and white girls can’t dance?

  2. Relationships are like a game of chess and children are to be used as pawns.

  3. Mollymom

    How to cry a lot and NEVER shed a tear.

  4. How to ensure your child’s first word is f**k

  5. Using twitter to keep divorce drama alive year after year.

  6. HannahKingRose

    How about…Don’t shit where you eat and expect the Queen to forgive you (especially when they edit out your checkmate on national t.v.).

  7. victoria

    How to properly use fillers
    How to drink in moderation
    Basic dinner party etiquette
    Selecting an appropriate therapist

  8. Moh

    Medusa’s kiss: how too many fillers can turn your face to stone.

  9. No words. I needed this today. Thank u TT. :) Love ya always!

  10. BananaBug

    Is your clock/calendar off? Not April Fool’s Day? Are we in an alternate universe? Is is cocktail time? How would someone with “scruples” even BEGIN?

  11. sammiejane

    “How to explain away STD of the mouth…. food allergies”

  12. Alex

    How to lose your audience without even trying!

  13. Kaleesi

    How to win friends and gain influence by draping your drunken sweaty body all over other women’s husbands.

  14. CocoTalks

    How to use people and things: Twitter ppl can suck it until you need them to help you on celebrity apprentice

  15. stevod

    Haha! I think you’d be a superb ghostwriter for any of the housewives. Also, based on these spectacular suggestions, some of your blog followers would be excellent contributors. After all, it does take a village…

  16. eastjames

    Chapter 19: Lay off the Botox
    Chapter 20: What to do about STDs in your throat

    • Sarah

      Thanks eastjames, I didn’t even get a chance to swallow my first sip of coffee — now I have to wipe of my monitor, my desk, & the floor.

      Chapter 21: Once a swallower, now a spitter.

  17. eastjames

    Chapter 50: How to look like you’re constantly chewing on something even though you’re not.
    Chapter 1247: Making Leeane Rimes look sane

  18. sequoi

    How to make friends and influence people would be a good chapter.o

  19. eastjames

    Chapter 3000: vodka and laxatives
    Chapter 5,375,001: I think I had sex with a Muppet one time

  20. Laura

    I swear, I’m not a kiss up, but I just have to say I love this item! LOLL Fantastic, Tamara, thank you for this.
    Omg Tweeting & Parenting. Perfection.
    I needed a laugh today, big time, so thanks again.
    I’ve enjoyed your blog for quite awhile, and just had to peek out to say thanks.

  21. myinfo

    How to break your leg next season and hope Kim and Kyle host Game Night and hide your crutch so people will feel bad for again.

  22. Dusty

    Chapter 20: How to spout “F… y..” through filler induced mouth dysmorphia!

  23. Quiltmama

    Oh my gosh. TT. It would be way better than what she writes. Tee hee hee

  24. 101 ways to alienate your ex husband with drunk dialing.
    How to convince the world you don’t drink while responsible for your children.
    The how to guide for creating twitter wars with your husband’s new wife while under the influence.
    When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.

  25. sandra

    LOL!!! “When in doubt while drinking, call an ambulance.” I vote for this one….very funny ideas, tootsie. Keep them coming~

  26. Omg TT I hate you. I’m literally crying. LOL LOL LOL LOL I know she makes it easy, but stop dragging poor old victimized Brandi to filth!

  27. Mango

    Bone Setting for the Self-Practitioner, A Primer
    Vodka for Breakfast, 2 Almonds for Lunch
    Come Back Little Chica

  28. Pam

    How to fake out your bff who is a sober coach when you are a falling down drunk.

    50 places in your home to have a booty call when the kids are home.

    How to always be the victim even when you really are not.

    101 ways to never accept responsibility for anything.

    How to run a con on people who are rich and gullible.

  29. Don

    How to play your relationships like a Chess Master.

    Remember Kids, Nothing is EVER your fault.

    How to take down the Queen B Grandmaster style.

    How to Win Friends & Lose Them Quickly

  30. Valerie

    Chapter 69: (that’s all I’ve got is the chapter #. I’m immature like that.)

  31. This post is hysterical. Don’t you love that your posters are as wicked as you. When you call for us…we come 😅
    *Stillettos and vodka-how to take the perfect crotch shot

    *Fillers-how to get that perfect marionette makeover

  32. Menopause: No More Tampon Strings

  33. Daphne

    How to make excuses and be responsible for nothing
    How to be jealous of your husband’s jump-offs
    How a Food Allergy Helped me win Celebrity Apprentice
    The Real Reason Chica Ran away from Home
    Maleficent Has Nothing on Me
    My Interview with Sir Nose: Proof that Black People can’t Swim
    The Cocktail Handbook by Glandi Villebrand
    Why F** U is a Term of Endearment
    It was Not a Tampon String, It was a Leash and I can’t find my owner

  34. O.O

    1- A 5 step guide on How to convince people that you’ve caved under peer pressure even though you’re over 40.
    2-How to keep a job despite being insane.

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