So once again I am faced with the dilemma of how to recap this disastrous excuse for a reunion. I seriously doubt it will be anything more than what it was for the last two weeks only this time we will add a house husband or two. I’m going to just list anything remotely interesting they say under their names below. Meanwhile I am twelve minutes in and would rather watch Nene Leakes do the rumba with a half nekkid man on repeat for an hour than watch this crap. Bring out the men. Give us something new! Anything except Brandi whining about Scheana (which is what this whole season has been about, Brandi’s jealousy of some waitress at a WeHo bar or Kyle continuing to bring up her husband’s infidelity over and over while begging no one else to mention it.
I think the next person that Yolanda tells to stay out of it should slap her upside the head! She is acting like someone moderating a debate on global warming. I’m cranky and I want her slapped! No sooner did I type this did Yolanda cut of Joyce and Joyce said, “You love to be the referee! You love to play director!” Yolanda does this snide laugh and says, “Did you hear what she said?” as if Joyce had said she had three heads. Andy takes Yolanda’s side and goes back on my shit list. He is such a power hungry person. Yolanda can be as hideous as she wants he will never call her out because of David Foster.
So now Yolanda has told Carlton and Joyce not to speak because the issue is between Kyle and Lisa but now she is pontificating away like a politician wearing a Halloween dress.
The men come out in the last ten minutes. WHY? They should have been on this entire episode. Kyle is holding onto Mauricio for dear life saying how close they are and that she knew it was a lie. #TheGoodWife
Wow, Brandi managed to manipulate Lisa and Ken right back in. Ken hugged her and Lisa is crying because Brandi is crying. #FoolMeTwice
I still love turtles
Well let me diminish the shit I’ve heard about everyone in this room then. Should I do that? Bring it all up?
And now it’s a whole fucking season of lies about my husband who doesn’t deserve it!
The fans love us and they hate us and I felt like Lisa when they loved me you were there and when they didn’t you were gone.”
I can let things go.
(To Joyce) Stay out of it!
(To Carlton) Stay out of it!
I told you no more Scheana and you kept bringing her around!
SCHEANA! SCHEANA! SCHEANA!
Lisa told me I was losing my audience, and then I lost my friend.
I’m the Underdog!
If there was a fire burning and we were both in it? Who would you save?
Scheana! Scheana! Scheana!
You let her dance in bad panty hose on your Bar!
You threw her an engagement party!
You don’t have to help her get engaged! I feel like I am being cheated on all over again with the same woman! Why does everyone like Scheana better than me! Scheana! Scheana! Scheana!
He also cheated with Leann and when my best friend started hanging out with Leann I said, “You’re dead to me!”
Why doesn’t anyone pick me, me, me!
You take Scheana shopping for her birthday and buy her things! It’s always SCHEANA!
You’ve been with one man for a hundred years so you don’t understand it’s not fun to keep remembering that!
Scheana! Scheana! Scheana!
You’re the kind of person that throws the rock and hides your hand. You are the biggest shit stirrer! You are just trash! (to Kyle)
You love to play the referee Yolanda. You love to play director.
To Kyle: “When did you do that? (try to make things right) You trashed talked me in every interview!”
This was last reunion! Do we have to go through that again!
I wanted to diminish it by you bring it up every second! ( To Kyle about Mauricio’s alleged infidelities)
Scheana is not my friend. She’s a waitress!
I can’t stand Kristen!
If I’m so imperfect and you’ve got all these grievances about me, why do you want to be my friend? (to Brandi)
On thing I learned is not to go on a show like this if you are not in good shape. (He’s lost some weight)
He also spoke to some Wiccans who he says don’t identify Carlton as someone who practices that beautiful religion. (oh Michael, I wish you would not have said that).
Michael had someone to come in and bless the house and clear out all the bad spirits.
I didn’t raise my voice to Brandi or call her bad names. Everyone at the table defended Brandi. It wasn’t a situation where she was alone. She insulted my wife and I am not going to tolerate that.
Oh come on Mauricio, that was a joke!
I don’t think I could ever let Brandi back into my life. (Brandi sobs hysterically) Okay maybe I could let back in then. (OH KEN!)
I was definitely upset that Lisa brought up the rumors in front of Portia.
Sorry, I am feeling cranky tonight for no reason. And there was nothing very humorous about this reunion. I am just glad it is over. Thanks for a great month of reading and commenting you guys! xoxo