Dance Moms Recap: It Was Fucking Stupid.

Dance Moms

It’s once again time for Pyramid after that debacle with the drag queen routine last week. I still cannot believe that dance won. I fully expect to see Mackenzie at the top of the pyramid where Peyton should be. Oh wait, Abby is announcing the permanent replacements for Brooke and Paige. Kalani and Peyton are both there so now we know. But wait. Abby can’t do anything the proper way. She puts Kalani on the team permanently (AKA for the rest of Season 4) but not Peyton who was the lead dancer last week and was told if they didn’t win all responsibility would fall on her. Peyton’s mom has a meltdown.

It’s time for pyramid, where Abby crushes little girls’ dreams and wounds their psyches. On the bottom is Kalani because she is new. Which is odd because Kalani is Abby’s little favored one, just below Maddie, and last week or the week before some new kid started in the middle of the pyramid. Next is Kendall because she did not save her tears for her pillow. Wait, Abby says it was because she was just going through the motions. Next, is Nia, because Abby hates Nia. Abby says she was outstanding last week, but she was the one with previous experience. What? Nia was a drag queen before? Who knew? Rounding out the bottom is Chloe because Abby has a voodoo doll of her mother at home and sticks needles straight through her heart on a daily basis. But she says it is because she got beat by a nine year old in the overalls. Mackenzie is next which shocks me because Abby was gaga over Mackenzie’s performance in group dance. Her reason? She was not Maddie.  Next up is Maddie! Is it possible Peyton will get the top of the pyramid finally? Could it be? Well, Peyton is next but it seems like that is everyone and it was not the top spot. Whatever, she is ahead of Maddie. She put Kelly on top of the pyramid as a joke, and as a way to crush Peyton’s soul. ALDC DANCE MOMS

They are going to Canton Ohio to dance against the Candy Apples, unless they puss out again like the did last time. The group dance is called Frost and the costumes from another dance are going to be used. The costumes are at the dancer’s house. They need the costume from Kelly’s house for Peyton and Kalani.  Abby tells Christi she has to go retrieve them.

Peyton and Kalani get the solos.

The Candy Apples are rehearsing the number they chickened out on last week. Nick is back. They are still struggling with the routine.

Christi and Abby have an argument and Christi says “fucking” something or another and Abby loses her mind so Christ says “fuck” a dozen more times just to get under her skin. So when Abby goes to coach, she is heated and takes it out on the girls. She tells them they can all blame Christi for her mood because she “said the f-word 17 times.” Chloe seems near tears and Abby says this has nothing to do with her, that she is a wonderful little girl. Really Abby? You belittle that wonderful little girl every single time you see her. Then she proceeds to scream at all the girls and tells them the next mom to say the f word to her is off the team. So it apparently, it has everything to do with them.

Abby doesn’t get the costumes back from Kelli so all the girl must suffer. Well, except for Maddie. She turns  the group dance into a trio with Maddie, Kalani and Kendall.  So I guess that means Mackenzie, Nia and Chloe can just stay home. Eventually, the moms come through with alternate costumes that will fit everyone but Peyton, so the group dance is back on. Peyton’s mom is losing her mind.

At the competition, Peyton’s mom continues to blow a gasket because Peyton’s solo costume didn’t fit either. She is furious that Peyton never gets a good costume. She continues to rant and then drops an F-bomb. Abby makes good on her fucking promise and withdraws Peyton’s solo. Peyton and her mother leave.

Nick’s solo was spectacular, they showed every second of it unedited. I think Maddie would have lost to that. Sadly, Nick’s father passed away the week before and it was very emotional. Now we know why Maddie didn’t get a solo. Abby could not risk her losing to Nick. They didn’t show all of Kalani’s dance. It was beautiful but I don’t think technically it can beat Nick.

Before the group dance, Lucas called the girl on his team “fucking stupid.” He denies it when confronted and his mother goes in on the girl’s mother. Lucas starts crying like a baby and all hell breaks loose. The fucking stupid girls mother pulls her and her brother from the number but Cathy convinces them to come back. Basically, all the Candy Apples are crying and upset. Somehow they manage to pull the dance off. It didn’t look very technically difficult to me. Abby is nervous. Abby actually gives the girls a decent pep talk. I don’t think they will have a problem beating the Candy Apples group dance.

Ut Oh! There was a problem with the music in the group number and the girls could not hear the music. The dance was good but the girls missed several of their steps in the beginning and are scared shitless. Maddie says they are going to get killed. Abby goes to complain to the judge. Before the competition, Cathy gave a Candy Apples team jacket to the same judge. He says they can do the dance over if they would like. She says no, she feels like they are being set up. Maddie is beating herself up. She says she has never messed up like that. She seems terrified.

Wow. Nick only got 3rd place? He was robbed. Somehow, Kalani wins first place overall. Cathy is justifiably pissed. Candy Apples came in second in group and ALDC won first. What I think happened is when Abby told the judge it was unprofessional to wear the Candy Apple jacket while judging, they marked the Candy Apples down to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Or the whole thing is just rigged. Whatever.

Next week: Nia is pulled from the group dance. Holly reaches a breaking point. Abby’s mother dies.

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7 Comments

Filed under Abby Lee Miller, Dance Moms, Recap

7 responses to “Dance Moms Recap: It Was Fucking Stupid.

  1. I watch this show faithfully, but I am a little disappointed in myself that I do.

  2. eastjames

    Chloe looks devastated in the previews when they find out Abbys mother passes away. It seems like she is very close to Abby despite how much she and Christi hate each other. Nicks dance was good but sometimes he looked very awkward and I thought it was messed up for Kathy to play on his emotions while grieving his father. Hopefully he really gets a release from dancing and felt like he was honoring his father instead of just giving that bitch a story line.

  3. Riley

    Poor Chloe, what a wonderful dancer she is and she always gets the short end of the stick. My heart bleeds for her every wk. And frankly, I don’t know who is on the bat shit crazy list with Tamar Braxton…Abby or Cathy. Aww hell..there is room for both and they are both deserving.

    • Scatty

      Abby is so phoney, telling Chloe for the camera that it has nothing to do with her. According to Christi, the tears were because Abby yelled inches from her face, “I will destroy you.” This is from Christi’s own Twitter. I hope it’s okay to include it here.

      • Scatty

        Let me amend that. Christie’s in Australia with Chloe and didnt see the show although she does keep up with her twitter. She was astonished they didn’t show the real reason Chloe was crying and tweeted: “Abby screamed a millimeter from her face that she would “destroy her”. Nice” I assume the “her” Abby was referring to was Christi.

  4. I don’t want to see boys dancing in these comps. Sorry. It’s just meh. And sometimes a little uncomfortable.

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