Juan Pablo. Has there ever been a bigger douchebag of a Bachelor?

Juan Pablo is a DouchebagI am not recapping RHOBH on time tonight because I just have to watch this train wreck of a show. This is by far the worst/best season ever. The season with Ben was pretty bad in a similar way.  I didn’t really get into the the Sean and whatshername episode last season with the whole born again virgin theme.  But just to refresh your memory or explain this season to those of you with the sense not to watch, here is where we are.

One the first night the girl he chose for the first impression rose came very close to rejecting it. Her gut was telling her that she was not interested. But she took it because, well, free trips to many cool countries…

At some point, even free first class travel all over the world was not enough to keep the first impression chick around. She’s  from some other country and a professional opera singer and really didn’t need ABC to fly her all over the place with a bunch of crazy women and a moron. She dumped him because he was stupid. Or whatever nice way she put it. Whatever. She was highly educated and he is…. um..not. Sometimes it is hard to gauge the intellect of a foreign man because if they say stupid shit, you can blame it on a language barrier depending on how hot they are. He wasn’t really hot enough to make up for the intellectual deficient.

Then then my home girl the Atlanta prosecutor,  and presumably the next bachelorette, dumped him right after their fuck card night. This happens when they are down to three or four choices and dude gets to test drive the girls and factor in their love making abilities into the equation. He said something to her that she would not even repeat on air and left.

On tonight’s show, one of the girls tried to bail before the final rose because he told her in a moment when they were not miked that he didn’t feel they knew each other well, but he sure liked fucking her the other night. Actually, now that I think about it, what the Atlanta chick left over was Pablo saying something about using his fuck card on Claire to her while they were having their test drive date.

Now we have Nikki, crying because she is not sure Juan Pablo knows who she is. It’s a total shit storm and I can’t look away.

Is anyone watching this? Both girls cried their eyes out after their final dates with him . I am going to need to talk to y’all when this is over!



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34 responses to “Juan Pablo. Has there ever been a bigger douchebag of a Bachelor?

  1. Bombero129

    He’s horrible but I can’t stop watching!!!!!! Even his family tells both girls basically he sucks!

  2. I am laughing myself silly Miss TT, at your recap & yes I was watching on my iPad & I have always wondered what special STD you get after the fantasy suite. OMG how I needed that laugh you gave me. The f*** card is priceless. He likes the chicks with brains & both of them dumped him. But the word is he is not even wanting a real relationship, just wants to be a celebrity. Even Chris Harrison was trying to get him to take this seriously, but he won’t. I watched a video of him & his baby mama & they looked pretty serious. I wish they would have let Andi talk to the other 2 women. I would watch you do stand up. You are golden. The f*** card. That is how they should announce it, instead of the fantasy suite, it should be “do you want the f***card.

    • Michelle

      Too bad Andi didn’t dump him BEFORE they banged. I think he has always been with his daughter’s mother on the down low. He did the show for fame and money, not love.

  3. LovelyDay

    Oh goodness…I have been hate watching this for a few weeks. He is the biggest jerk. What is wrong with these women?

    Love your blog. Glad that I am not the only one watching this crazy Juan Pablo.

  4. oops didn’t mean to post the link TT! please forgive me… I’m on my knees begging forgiveness……..

    • Yes, you did mean to post it, the link did not type itself. And that site is the reason I don’t blog The Bachelor, because some jackhole with her ass on fire will come in here and spoil the show for everyone. We all know where spoilers are on the Internet. We all have access to Google. And it is kind of sad that I don’t get to post shows that are pre recorded because people assume we just want to know how it all ends instead of watching it.

  5. Oh T, that sure was messy. Why Niki is allowing herself to be humiliated by this clown boggles the mind. The end.

  6. lori

    What a loser douchebag juan pablo (hchwan pablo) is. He seriously makes my skin crawl. I honestly don’t even think he and nicky are even together. I think he is trying to save face after all the hate he’s been getting. It is more than obvious that Chris Harrison has a strong dislike for this jerk. I liked how he BOOKED off of that stage as soon as they were breaking for commercial after jp said “surprise? What surprise?” I think if Chris didn’t get away for a minute he would have blown a gasket on the guy. I have my dvr set and ready to record GMA tomorrow so I can hear exactly what Chris has to say about him. I was kind of hoping that Renee would be the next bachelorette. I loved her. I knew when Andy left that she would be the next one. That happened on a previous season when the one of the girls who was final 3 did the same thing.

  7. Ellis Scarlett

    What I don’t understand is why Chris Harrison doesn’t call this d-bag out??? He kept trying to step in to smooth things over when Juan Pablo is clearly just a jerk. Terrible.

  8. Yes I watched this year. I missed a few in mid season, I doubt I missed much.
    He is a rude flake that is playing to the camera.
    He reminds me of a player, one of those men that likes to accumulate women similar to the notched belt.
    To me he seems incredibly dishonest, patronizing, and doesn’t have a caring bone in his body for any of the women. He disrespects their intelligence and feelings.
    I don’t think he has any respect for women, any woman.

  9. Well, one girl got a helicopter ride and one got a boat ride. Both dates are cool. Usually doesn’t the favorite girl get the best date?
    Except I like both those dates, neither one was better.

  10. Juan Pablo is a loser. He’s looking for a sugar mama & nanny for his kid. He brings nothing to the table but his rude,ignorant playa attitude. He’ll probably pick Nick. I wouldn’t look @ a long term relationship with Juan he’s a selfish child. Look how he treats his mom. He makes rude comments to make her cry.

  11. Michelle

    Chris Harrison and his bullying actually made Juan Pablo into a sympathetic figure. He was trying to force JP to say I love you. What does it matter if Nikki is ok with it, why should Chris care so much?
    A lot of good those words did all the other failed bachelor relationships.

    I didn’t like JP all season but he was awesome on the live after show. ha. JP used the show just as the show used him.

  12. Tango

    The Bachelor shows are really offensive to me. Idk, I have tried to watch, but seeing girls throw themselves at a man just seems so 1953. This one sounds more interesting though, with so many chicks that are just dumping him? I don’t recall that before, I thought they usually all cat-clawed to the end no matter what. Maybe it’s a sign of the times.

    • beedee

      *sniff* I was born in 1953. And that is exactly how my life has been… a half century of women throwing themselves at me. I’ve always thought of it as my special contribution to the social order.


  13. I had not watched the end when I posted earlier, still on out here.

  14. Juan doesn’t love Nikki and I doubt he ever will. Chris was a nag over Juan saying the I love you words.
    When a man wants a women he will say or do anything to make her his.
    Juan is too in love with his own voice to love anyone else,

  15. Florida Mom

    Chris Harrison was such a b*(& on the “after the rose” live show last night. Yes, Juan Palo was a douche, but really, what do these girls expect? Chris Harrison hated this guy all season because he acted like the kid in a candy shop that would be most men’s “honest” reaction to getting chased by dozens of gorgeous women. This dude didn’t seem to care what production was telling him to do. The comments on the after show from Sean & Catherine (the sappy couple that just had the show pay for their very public wedding…) said it all: “don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Claire was just upset that she had sex with him and didn’t “win”. I thought Juan Palo and Nikki were having their “FU” Chris Harrison moment (after all the bitching Chris has done on his blog, in the tabloids, etc). Loved it. Anybody that would be “in love” after meeting during the BS of this show would not be authentic, or is a wimp (like Sean)

    The best moments: Juan Palo expressing his concern for Venezuela, and Chris Harrison’s response…”yes, but let’s get back to …(some petty observation about Claire’s “feelings” or….)
    Low moment: Chris Harrison coming back from the break and commenting something like “washing off” after his interaction with Juan Palo & Nikki.

  16. Show of hands needed. How many laughed when Claire put up her hands to keep Juan from hugging her during the imma about to dump you scene? You go girl…………

    • Nancy

      What I don’t understand, is Claire got mad because he didnt tell her the night before, but that’s the name of the game…,and what did she expect she threw herself at him from the beginning acting like a piece of ass and that’s exactly how he treated her,,,so she got exactly what she deserved…

  17. SVAinVA

    What made me laugh was seeing Chris walk off the stage as they panned out for one of the breaks- it was like he was so disgusted, he had to get away from the Juan……… As far as Juan goes, pretty to look at, but doesn’t seem to have anything else to offer. I too wondered if it was a language barrier, if he was DUMB, or Neanderthal..perhaps a mix of all the above?

  18. Nicole

    I had to read about this ’cause I’ve been hearing about this Bachelor. I haven’t watched this show since the doctor was on… Just can’t think why a girl wants to swap spits with a guy that just swapped spits with 10 other girls and seeing it on national TV. I guess it is entertainment.

  19. I has to ask somebody what ‘surprise’ Chris kept bugging JP about. Supposedly the couple was going to move to LA because he thought he was going to be on DWTS. The producers dropped JP so I guess they are staying where they are, supposedly already broken up.

  20. Katherine

    I hope this doesn’t come across as rude because I love this site but Tamara… watching The Bachelor seems beneath you. I know the bravo shows are contrived messes, but they at least are people living their somewhat scripted lives. The Bachelor is just pure nonsense all around & I cannot understand why people watch it.

    • I watch it a lot for the travel destinations. I actually booked a trip to St. Lucia and stayed at the resort they stayed at after the season with Jake and Vienna. I was actually in the room Vienna stayed in! I didn’t ask for it, there was actually some problems with my booking and I had to stay at another super fancy place for a night so the littlest room in the place I actually paid for was upgraded to the top of the mountain, literally!

      I realize this admission does not help my case at all. I agree, it’s a horrible show. I am addicted to really bad television.

      On Wed, Mar 12, 2014 at 2:02 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:


      • Katherine

        Hahaha! We all need to validate ourselves at times. I’m addicted to bad tv too but this show is toooooooo bad. The housewives give me my travel bug needs. For instance I’m going to Mexico with some girlfriends & we are already saying it’s gonna end up like a housewives trip.

      • Be very careful in Mexico.

        On Wed, Mar 12, 2014 at 2:26 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:


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