Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap Part 2

PumpRules Kristen Crying The Vanderpump Rules Reunion picks up right back where we left off, with everyone hating Kristen. These people are way over invested in Kristen’s relationship with Tom.  Scheana  says she is finished with Stassi because she is a horrible friend. Kristen misses the camera and returns to the scene to demand that Tom stop holding hands with Ariana.  She is refusing to look at that! Make them stop!  Oh God. I’m only two minutes in and am over this show. Yet, I will struggle on. Andy asks Tom if he regrets staying in the relationship for so long. He says he just hoped she would change. Tom says that he thinks Kristen has Borderline Personality Disorder. He wants her to get help. Kristen says she is happy, happy, happy with her new relationship. Scheana is crying. Why? There are a whole lot of people crying while saying they are happy.  VR Kristen Crying Andy asked Jax about his jail experience. He seems to be telling a different story than he did on the show.  More stories about trading food with inmates for things as if he was there for days and had an account set up where he could by ding dongs in massive quantities to trade for phone time and toilet paper. Andy asks about Jax thinking Joyce was Latoya Jackson.  He says Jax may need glasses with an actual prescription.

This is the worst reunion I have ever seen on TV and I think I saw a Rock of Love reunion once.

Andy moves on to his personal favorite Tom. Andy loves Tom. He asks him to do an imitation of Scheana’s dance moves and he does. Andy is literally have him dance for his pleasure.

Andy talks about Scheana’s engagement. By the way, Scheana’s wedding will be the finale next season. You heard it here first. Andy brings up Brandi making fun of her gray tooth.  Lisa says that Scheana needs to remember that to Brandi she will always be the mistress.  Scheana points out that it has been ALMOST EIGHT YEARS.  Lisa defends Brandi.

Andy says it is time to talk about the elephant in the room, Kristen and Jax hooking up. I was pretty sure we had been talking about this nonstop since the last episode. Stassi tries to pretend that she knew that Kristen was one step ahead of her in regard to texting Jax while pretending to be Kristen. She’s full of it. Tom whines about Kristen sleeping with Jax twice. This is really pathetic television. I don’t know whether it would be worse if they are all acting or if they are serious. It’s just all nonsense.

Vanderpump Rules JaxStassi and Tom rail on Kristen while Jax just sits there. Oh finally Tom goes in on Jax. Lisa tells Jax he has no remorse. Ariana agrees. Ariana speaking causes Kristen to scream at her to shut up! Lisa tells Kristen to stop it. She says Ariana is a part of this group and has every right to be here.

Lady Gaga tweeted asking why Lisa doesn’t fire Kristen. Lisa says she puts up with it because they are like family and she doesn’t want to kick her while she is in such a downward spiral.

Tom goes in on Jax and Stassi. Tom points out how sick Stassi is for getting pleasure out of hurting people. Stassi can’t take anyone attacking her. She starts crying and playing the victim card and snivels her twatty little self off the stage. Lisa goes after her. Oh Lisa, this show is making you look so bad.

Scheana needs a nose job. Not for cosmetic reasons, but to fix her nasally voice.

Stassi rushes back on the stage to cry and draw attention to herself. It’s all about Stassi. She goes in on Kristen again. Why don’t they just nail Kristen to a cross and watch her bleed to death why doing tequila shots and laughing? It would be less cruel.

They try to insult Jax but he gives no reaction, so they go back to insulting Kristen who has been crying the entire show. Tom says it is hard for him to trust now. Lisa says Tom is a great guy who looks for the best in everyone.  Andy hears that positive moment and turns the conversation back to the crucifixion of Kristen. It’s just unrelenting.  Andy points out that Kristen lied on her family. He asks her if she is a pathological liar. She says no, she is just an asshole. Andy says, “Alright, that’s fair.”

OMG. There is going to be another episode of unseen moments. Kill.me.now.

Oh look! It’s the beach scene again. How many times are they going to run that clip? This most definitely did not need to be a two part reunion. It could have been done in half an hour. They just keep saying the same thing over and over. Vanderpump Rules Jax is Very ConfusedAndy asks why Kristen slept with Jax? Who initiated the sex? Kristen says Jax.  Jax says that he thinks they both initiated it.  Andy and Lisa are trying to get Jax to show remorse. He has none. He just has his confused face on. They are trying to get him to apologize. They want him to say that he feels bad. Kristen says he is just as big of a piece of shit as Kristen. Jax has no feeling about any of this. After the reunion he watched the episode of Tom and Jax on the beach and seemed to have the tiniest kernel of remorse when he later filmed WWHL.

The reunion ends with Jax realizing he is a sociopath who lacks the ability to feel anything for anyone but himself. Not really. It sort of does. Andy asks him on last time about his lack of remorse. Jax says, “This is all terrible. I was thinking about it and if I dig deep I do have a heart. For what it’s worth I am sorry. And I hope one day we can shake hands again and be, like okay.”  Tom says he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Everyone tells him he only thinks about himself. Jax says he is getting therapy to find out what is wrong with him and why he doesn’t feel things.

Stassi says that the reunion has reminded her of why she can’t work at SUR or be around these people. She is trying to get a spinoff in NYC. If  that doesn’t work out, we will see her skinny ass right back at SUR for season 3.

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32 Comments

Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Vanderpump Rules

32 responses to “Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap Part 2

  1. lori

    If Jax wants to know what’s wrong with him, I’m sure he could read any blog and get his answer. Everyone has said it a million times. He’s a sociopath. I just find it sad that no one there said it when he asked. I really hope they don’t bring him back next season. I don’t know what his purpose could possibly be at this point. I will say, if this is all fake, Kristen can seriously become an Oscar winning actress. Like you said TT, this show was hard as Hell to get through. It felt like it was two hours long. Thanks for being a champ and blogging about it anyway. It’s the only reason I read it, because I really couldn’t care less at this point.

    • lori

      I forgot to add that I realized that Katie said about 10 words the whole reunion. She better get a storyline going next season.

    • lori,
      That is a good point. They say that these reality shows are staged and edited and I do believe that some of it is. But i agree Kristin deserves some kind of an award. I would certainly hate to have to re-play all of my mistakes for not only me to watch but half the pathetic people (including me… you’d be surprised what classy closet watches we have out there! LOL.) I do believe that we catch the the core of who everyone is… and then the show capitalizes on the rest. It started with The Real World and then Big Brother and Laguna Beach and then The Hills… We all loved to hate Spencer and now it is Jax.
      The deal is are they selling their souls? How much are they getting for their few hours of fame to splash their lives across the screens and then be forgotten? I mean who remembers who was on The Hills besides a few of the main characters?
      Heidi Spencer… Lauren… Audrina… Kristen… who else was there? Ya know?
      And I actually like Scheana except she is a baby! I have friends that have cancer that don’t demand as much attention! She had a bad fall and knocked out her teeth. That was horrible. But she sat on a chair in the front of the restaurant showcasing her sprained ankle on a fluffy pillow and sobbed about being pushed at her party which sucked but people had blood all over them and found out that their bffs had screwed their bfs TWICE it kind of sucked more for them… a little more than being pushed ya know? And Jax? I can’t stand him. He is hollow his soul fell out when he was in diapers. Something horrible had to have happened to him.. or maybe sociopaths really are just borned.
      Anyway I LOVE your blog and so sorry I hogged so much space but can’t believe there was one on wordpress! Yaaay!

  2. to think at the beginning of the season I felt bad for Jax.. figured eh he made a big mistake he’s a scumbag for cheating but he’s trying to make up for it…now? you screw your best friends gf and you can’t even pretend you are sorry? he will probably make some poor therapist really rich someday Lol …Stassi that girl is another one still don’t like her. she was way too happy and gleeful over jax and Kristin sleeping together…I have never seen this many people with similar mental issues in one setting all at once since my bipolar son was last in the hospital… unbelievable smh.. wtf is in the water at Sur? Lisa is just as nuts..she’s a frigging business owner… shocking to me having grown up in that business that the nutty 3 actually still have jobs Lol.. Tom stay with Ariana she’s good for you…Kristin go back to where ever you came from and Stassi stay in NYC and don’t come back…Jax do yourself and the world a favor..cut that pens off..either way it will be death of you, either someone gonna kill yo ass or you will catch something horrible! Katie. AA is your friend go join! Scheana the most normal one get another job get married and next time tell Brandi to fuck off!! more Peter please …old that is all..Thanks Tamara !!

  3. New Kenya Fan

    Kristin has borderline personality disorder. Jax is a love addict, Tom, is STILL in love with Kristin and whining incessantly, Stassi is a narcissist who needs the people who ‘hurt’ her to grovel as much as possible so that she can ‘feel better’. All her friends are butt-kissing maids in waiting. And I’m CRAZY AS HELL for watching 2/3rds of the first reunion and 1/2 of the second. Terrible terrible,whiny people with made up problems.

    • tleighb

      You nailed it. And I watched every minute, losing brain cells by the second.

    • Spot on.. Except I think Jax is worse than a “love addict” He’s a shallow, emotionally hollow moronic manchild. I wonder if Tom has some kind of savior complex and that’s why he stayed with trainwreck Kristen for so long. If he gets off on being needed by crazy women then he and Adrianna won’t last long. She seems too emotionally stable for him.
      I loved Tom calling out Stassi for the sick pleasure she takes from hurting people. Whether they deserve it or not is irrelevant. She’s a horrible person for taking pleasure in other people’s pain. It’s weird how much power she has over these people. What’s so special about her? Why do so many of them kiss her ass? I don’t get it.
      Love your recaps Tamara. Long time reader but this is the first time I’ve unlurked)

  4. Hannah King

    Stassi is so full of it. She says in the reunion that she had it in her mind that maybe Kristin had already texted Jax about her using Kristen’s phone to question Jax. If so, then why even bother doing it? She didn’t think Kristin was smarter than her. She’s just trying to save face after she bought it when Jax response was appropriate for not having had sex with Kristin. If Stassi actually anticipated Kristin having prepared for the possibility of Stassi using her phone, why didn’t she have Kristin set up a meeting with Jax. Stassi and Tom could have hidden in the bedroom and listened in on a Stassi scripted conversation about the situation? If Kristin had declined Stassi would have had her answer. If she had agreed, she and Tom could have confronted them immediately. Jax isn’t smart enough to have figured out what was going on until it was all over. Stassi bought the text thing hook, line and sinker till others brought it up again. Stassi is pissed because she thought she was the brain of the group and she wasn’t.

  5. JoJo

    Wow, the blog hates the show & reunion, the commenters hate the show and almost everyone on it, and here I was, entertained.
    I know that Stassi has generated the much praised new word c-satchel. But after all is said and done, I give her props for being the only one that actually left and doesn’t want to work with the people that screwed her over or be in the atmosphere anymore. And to another coast to boot.. So claim she whined about her best friend screwing her newly ex-bf, who was groveling to get back with her, and him doing her best friend. I think she’s the least hypocritical of the rest of the SUR employees, who will undoubtedly be back for more TV and are in varying degrees of buddyhood.

    And Stassi, the evil mastermind who publicly humiliated Kristen, and Tom by extension was on a reality TV show. I suspect it all would have been kind of anti-climatic if she made a couple quick phone calls to carry out her plan or tell these 2 off and quietly split town.
    Besides, I’m giving her props for having more power than any of them combined since 12 people & her boss went along for ride.

    • lori

      Re fake phone call… also, why was she so relieved afterwards if she knew they had planned all that out too. She just always has to act like she knows everything. She def did not.

    • FiFi Griffin

      Honey you must live in LaLa land … because Stassi left the show with the intention of getting her own spinoff in NY. I guarantee. She thinks she is the queen bee … and we will probably see her again in the spinoff “Stassi Pisses Off NY” (and subsequently realizes that there are more beautiful people in NY than her). I will say that this show is primarily scripted — or at the very least PLANNED. How is it that all hell breaks loose on the season finale show? Coincidence you ask? Nope… it’s called planning for a blow out. Kristen and Tom are both actors AND they played this break up to the hilt. I would hire Kristen for a new TV drama after seeing this masquerade ball. She’s good!

    • JoJo

      I have no doubt that Stassi may be shopping another reality show or someone’s shopping for her. My point is as it’s been told, she left Sur by Nov. last year and moved permanently in Jan. Whatever she does, she’s the only one that separated herself from this group of people and from Lisa’s SUR, perhaps persuaded by a new love. The rest of them are static.
      This reunion was the only time I started to not see her as the biggest piece of nasty shit – maybe just by separating herself from the pack. Now of course, she may return for a bit to film another season. Good for her there too, since she’s more interesting than any of the other women of the cast – in all her nasty, queen B, bitchy glory. (I do wish she’d get to another hairstylist definitely.)
      And I knew it, TT is indulging viewers of this show by recapping & I love that!

  6. Dedi

    In my opinion, it’s Kristen’s fault everyone is too overinvested in her relationship with Tom. Each one of her friends told her as much. She railed to them about Tom every chance she got and that was only when filming. I cannot imagine it being different if filming wasn’t happening. Her guilt was driving her more crazy than his infidelities and she never minded venting/including any who’d listen. Seems only fair they’d want to call her on her bull.

    When Andy asked her why she did it, she should’ve said because I envy Stassi & covert what she has. I had a BFF in High School who fu#ked around with my boyfriend and that was her reply. Seems to fit here, too. She of low self esteem made herself feel worthy proving (if only to herself) she could have what Stassi has/had. One might expect that from High School, but, well, never mind, we are talking Kristen and she’s proven her maturity is about that level or she is emotionally impaired.

    What Jax has none of is empathy. One cannot purchase it, nor learn this trait easily. One as selfish as Jax would never have it nor sympathy either…at least for no one but himself. I know many who aren’t empathic to others, but I don’t believe them sociopaths. Many people don’t have the ability to put oneself in another’s place and feel accordingly. That’s why this country is headed for the sh*tter. People are raised to be more ME oriented now, more entitled. I pray it doesn’t mean they are all psycho’s! LOL!

    All in all, I think Andy covered all the bases and the self centeredness of all but Tom (and giving Arianna benefit of doubt, her) involved. It was dramatic indeed. Chris Harrison never had such drama as a host for him to have said it more than any I know. Can’t wait till next season!

  7. Dedi

    Ugh, should be *covet* what she has, not covert. Hate auto-correct.

  8. Bruce Chenter

    Tamara, do you really HATE this show, or are you just snarking? Does writing the blog from the “hate it” point of view come off better? I hate these people but I love the show. I cannot help but watch and find myself laughing gleefully throughout most episodes.

    • I hated the reunion. I tolerated the show. So why blog it you ask? It’s the most popular show/topic I blog about. Go figure. :)

      On Tue, Feb 18, 2014 at 6:12 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      • Tamara,
        You are one smart cookie! I think a lot of us don’t want to admit that we watch Reality TV but I usually have my TV on for background noise while I write… either have that on or HGTV. I guess House Hunters and Rehab Addicts is Reality but I somehow don’t feel I have to change the channel when someone walks in lol…
        I agree with whoever said that at least Stassi left the show. I am sure they offered her more $$$ than she makes at Sur even though I am sure the tips are good. She didn’t let money buy her out. I believe that people really do form friendships at places where they work and are hurt by the ones that fail them. After all we are at work for a third of our day, everyday… you have to form some kind of relationship with them. I GET why she left.

      • Chile please. Stassi is either going to get a spinoff in NYC or she will be right back at SUR for season three. Trust and believe.

  9. Katie

    You are right, Tamara, the reunion the sequel was same shit different day: nothing but a bigger pile on Kristin led by that crazed pop-eyed bobble-headed shit stirrer, Andy Cohen. He was trying so hard to make something more of that clusterfuck of infidelity and just came off desperate. Somewhat agree with Dedi about Kristin’s motivation, but would add that Kristin secretly despised Stassi and this was her passive aggressive way of saying Fuck You. But they are all hypocrites, and yes, this was not a good look for La Lisa.
    BTW – you are the hardest working blogger in the biz. Kudos for getting this up in such a timely manner!

  10. jelley

    Please never abandon blogging about VPR! I love this shit show. I feel like Stassi looked bad at the reunion and on WWHL. Why did she start crying when Tom called her out? I’m glad Andy asked her why she was crying. I still don’t think her hatred for Kristen for sleeping w Jax is justified. Stassi told anyone who would listen that Jax was a cheater and liar and he blew it With her for good. She’s really just pissed that Kristen got one over on her.

    It was nice to hear scheana say “it was 7.5 years ago, get over it” re: Brandi hating her so much.

    Omg I love this show. Guilty.

  11. Irish Tara

    If you are pushing 3O or going or going on 34 still waiting tables or mixing drinks at a lounge? Quite simply, then you are a waiter or a bartender.Correct?
    Jax & Kristen are basically sociopathic beings. Jax shows no remorse while trolling the twenty something pond. Kristen will grow up to be Brandi?

    • To be fair, a lot of people make careers out of waiting tables in upscale restaurants. In places like NYC and LA it can be a very lucrative career and competition for positions in the best restaurants is fierce. Also in those places many budding actors and actresses work in the restaurant industry do to the flexibility of the hours, allowing them to go to auditions and take small roles while still paying the bills.

      • Beth

        Great point Tamara! i know people who wait tables and bar tend that make more than some people who have graduate degrees, are lawyers, etc, and most LOVE what they do.

    • Bruce Chenter

      Well, there are some people who are not discovered as actors or actresses until their 30s or 40s…quite a few actually. Probably none from this group, but who knows? I don’t think there is any shame in them waiting tables or bartender while they are trying to make it. At least they are working and not trying to live off the federal teat like many people do. In my book if you have booked any acting gigs, you can call yourself an actor. If you have booked any modeling gigs, then you can call yourself a model, even if it isn’t the main job that pays your bills. You can be a “struggling” actor or model…

  12. Tamara
    You are probably so right! Stassi got a spin off! I didn’t even think of that. I soooo hope she doesn’t make it as a show all about being mean on the east coast. And she was patting herself on the back about not returning. No wonder, Lisa was so miffed that she didn’t come back to work or call (if that was not scripted) I’d be annoyed if she’d been working for me for a few years and I’d given her so many opportunities and gifts (like upgrading her hotel room – if that wasn’t really from the show) .

  13. The most painful event in a person’s life is seeing your once supportive man in the throws of another woman’s arms and clearly Kristen is crushed and on the verge of a serious breakdown after last nights fiasco. I truly feel bad for her. There are none so blind as those who refuse to see.

  14. Uzo

    It was hard not to notice Peter rushing over to kiss Kristen on the lips at the end of the reunion. Wonder if they’re making up for lost time now that Kristen is sowing her royal oats to all the good looking food and beverage men of Hollywood.

  15. kym

    “This is the worst reunion I have ever seen on TV and I think I saw a Rock of Love reunion once” – No you didn’t – LOLOLOL!

  16. Yamoah Asiedu

    I enjoyed the reunion. I felt really sorry for Kristen. They (Andy, Lisa and the others) were too hard on her. Yes, what she did was terrible and she will have to live with the consequences of her decision, losing her boyfriend and “best friend.” In quotes because I wonder how much of a best friend Stassi really was. Let’s put everything in perspective, Kristen didn’t kill anyone.!She has shown more than enough remorse and it’s clear that her heart is broken about losing Tom. Enough already!
    It takes two to tango. It really does. Enter Jax, the sociopath. What happened to him. Nothing for his ten year friendship? Or five year (?) relationship with Stassi. No unprompted remorse? No regrets? Crocodile tears? Nothing? WOW!

    Apparently sex with Jax (YUCK) was good enough to go back for seconds.
    Kristen denied it so convincingly for a long time.

    Her new 21 year old needed to watch both parts of the reunion to know what he’s really getting into. Hope he is emotionally together. IMO, Kristen is broken inside and probably needs some ‘Me Time’ and an extended period of ‘fun activities’ with people who REALLY care about her.

    She is a complicated person. Actually, I’d be more interested in watching a spin off about Kristen than vacuous, ‘look at me, I’m so special’ Stassi.
    As for Tom, his hotness gives him brownie points! (who’s vacuous now!!?)
    Hope he finds happiness with Arianna, just don’t put her on a pedestal. When men do that to us, it’s devastating for them, WHEN not IF, we fail or disappoint them in some way. #Vanderpump Rules. #Ilikeit.

    Thanks for recapping Tamara.

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