Reza Farahan Reviews Housewives Books (Without Reading Them)

Andy Cohen Likes Books

You know who else likes books? Hitler! Um, I mean Andy Cohen.

You know what OK Magazine thought would be a fun idea? Getting someone who has not read a book since middle school and even then only read the Cliff’s Notes to do some book reviews!  Well, it kind of make sense when the books are “written” by Bravolebrities who have never read a book either (let alone actually written the ones he is discussing.)  So just for shits and giggles, let’s see what Reza has to say about three books he has never read by people who didn’t actually write them.

Reza likes the cover of Phaedra’s book.  He loves things that are red and pink because he is gay. (His words not mine.) And he thinks the full page photo of Phaedra on the back is cute and he wants to give her a hug. But when you open the book. Wait? He opens a book?  Are we witnessing a first here on OK Magazine Video?  Rene says $23 is rather steep for a book. And it is for this book. However, it does make it clear that Reza has never purchased a book in his life.

Kim Zolciak and Reza Farahan on WWHL

He flips through to a “random” quote which he reads in his best Phaedra voice, “Everyone knows a southern belle loves her three Ps, pearls, pantyhose and pumps.”  Reza points out that it seems odd that a southern belle would love her pantyhose since it is hot as balls in the south.  Which is true. Nothing made us happier than the death of panty hose back in …..oh 1989.  But apparently, that is the best quote from the book he could find. Reza shows uncharacteristic mercy by giving the book and 8 out of 10.

On to Brandi’s book. Oddly he is reviewing her first book, Drinking and Tweeting. He says of Brandi, “How can you not love this bitch? She used to be married to a celebrity who is now married to a celebrity, and her and the new celebrity get into twitter wars all the time that are very entertaining.”  He takes a glance at the cover photos and says, that on the back she is drinking “fat pig juice, AKA wine,” then. based on the pictures, He gives it a 7 out of 10.

On to Caroline Manzo’s book. Reza seems upset at the family rifts in the Manzo clan.  He looks inside and admires the pretty pictures. They are in color! He gives Caroline’s book a solid 6 out of 10.

Will any of you admit to reading a housewives book? If so, tell me what you read and if it was worth buying. I didn’t buy any housewife books, but a friend sent me her copy of Drinking and Tweeting.  I read it and it was not memorable. Did you ever go to a movie that was highly publicized on TV with lots of trailers that looked like it was going to be good and then you realized all the good parts were in the trailer and there was nothing interesting about the rest of the movie? Yeah, Brandi’s book was like that for me, vaginal rejuvenation, blah, blah, blah, bitch stole my fambly, blah, blah, housewives is fun, the end.

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13 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Caroline Manzo, Phaedra Parks, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Reza Farahan, RHOA, RHOBH, RHONJ, Shahs of Sunset

13 responses to “Reza Farahan Reviews Housewives Books (Without Reading Them)

  1. A lady at work gave me a coy of Andy Cohen’s book, Most Talkative, and I still have not gotten around to reading it. If it’s not about Streisand, why even read it.

  2. I would buy a book if “functionally illiterate” NeNe wrote it. No, just kidding. Most of those women are not exactly J.D. Salinger material, so no, I would not read anything they have written.

  3. lori

    I would never waste my time since I have a so many “real” books that I haven’t found the time to read. (Between reality TV and Tamara Tattles, how could I possibly). Reading one of their books kind of sounds like torture. “You’ve been a very bad girl! Now go to your room and read chapters one through three of Secrets of a Southern Belle”. My one and only bravo related purchase was a Mazel baseball cap over a year and a half ago. Now that Andy totally gets on my nerves, I never even wear that anymore.

  4. sandra

    I confess, I read Brandi’s book. And, um yeah, what you said sums it up.

  5. Lil Tex

    I’ve read Taylor Armstrong and Nene’s books.. They both were alright considering I like them and found their lives to be somewhat interesting…I’m not really a reader, so I am not sure if they are worth reading to someone that is more into books.

  6. I read Nene’s book when it first came out. Quick read. finished in about an hour. Not much to say but it helped to explain why she’s so loud and mean. Some abused women get that way when they never fully face all they went through or get help. She reminds me of my terrier mix Darling. She’s a shelter dog and was abused. She loves me and my family but hates all strangers and barks extremely loud to make them get away with her. she won’t bite but will snap.

    I alos tried to read Lisa Wu’s book but couldn’t get past the first chapter. Too many name brands dropping left and right and just made the book bad.

    Got both books from library. couldn’t see myself paying to own that crap.

  7. JentheAUfan

    I found daniel staubs book at goodwill for 5 cents. I stressed myself out because I could not follow the change of topic every paragraph. Prostitution whores arent author material I guess.

  8. Gingersnap

    No, I would never buy their books, or their foodstuffs, or their videos, or their butter (whatever happened to Lisa Vanderpump’s butter commercial, anyway?) It’s bad enough that I support their ratings, and therefore their bank accounts. Sometimes I think they should be paying me.

  9. Kaleesi

    I don’t even want to sign my name to this.
    I bought Bethanny’s book on how to starve yourself. Thought I was gonna get some good recipies, that’s what I was after. After reading, and I’m
    paraphrasing here, ” this morning I was hungry so I just licked the icing off of one of my cupcakes and that was enough.”—- I put the book down and walked away.
    At the time, she had a kind of bakery business thingy dooty.

  10. Kat

    I found Andy’s book hilarious and Carole’s book an excellent read. (Granted, Carole has always been in the storytelling business and only briefly in the HW trenches.) I even bought copies of both as birthday presents for a friend.

    • lori

      I wasn’t even putting Carole’s books in this category. Her books I might read, because they aren’t these flash in the pants, cash in the coins crap that these other women put out. She was an author first, a housewife second.

  11. bravocueen

    I read Brandi’s book and actually loved it. It was an easy, by-the-pool-with a-cocktail-read. The biting humor and backstories were pretty awesome. I doubt I’ll buy her second cause I feel like it’s recycled. That’s actually the only HW product I’ve ever purchased.

  12. JoJo

    Never bought a housewife product and can’t imagine I ever will. But, when Carole came on RHONY, I read the long excerpt available on Amazon & it was very, very good. Did the same with Brandi’s first book and it wasn’t bad (the story not the writing & of course this was before this season) and Danielle Staub’s ex husband’s book Cop Without a Badge.
    btw Brandi had the co-author of both her books on her podcast, Leslie Ann Bruce, who swore she & Brandi were both responsible for writing the book, she wasn’t the ghostwriter; however I have to believe it was more Brandi dictating story and put to paper by Bruce (a 27 journalist cum writer). But although I’m a member of Amazon, I haven’t had the interest to even read an excerpt of the new one.

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