It’s time once again for me to recap the Mob Wives. It’s the penultimate episode and expectations for drama is high as the producers set up for the explosive season finale next week. Let’s get right to it!
Drita’s Dinner Party
Drita has all the girls over to dinner. Drita has just finished her home renovations and she dares anyone to get out of line in her house now that she has it all done up. Let’s see how that works for her, because if renovations could stop Mob Wives from feuding, the whole clan should start their own home renovations. Renee is the last to arrive and is seated next to Big Ang. Natalie is already feeling bitchy toward Renee. Alicia is hopeful that Renee will stay in her seat and not put anyone in a choke hold. Plus she is worried about her sentencing that is on the schedule for next week (yet still has not happened IRL).
Alicia basically tells Renee that she feels like their situation is very catty. She says that Renee spreading rumors is harming her case. Renee says that Alicia has it all wrong. She is not selling stories to the tabloids. She may gossip with her friends from time to time but that is it. Big Ang asks Renee if she knows who the leak is. Renee says absolutely not. (heh) Renee says that she thinks that Alicia’s problem with her is really about Carla.
Drita jumps in to point out that Renee’s loyalties lie first with Carla and Alicia’s husband Eddie who she has known since well before Alicia was in the picture. She’s in a tough place now because of her friendship with Alicia and Alicia doesn’t seem to get that. Big Ang agrees. Alicia sort of agrees that the Carla issue plays into her feelings.
Natalie wants some air time, but this doesn’t seem like the wisest moment to seek it if you ask me. Natalie gets squashed. Everyone agrees that the people with the issues will address each other in the future without third parties being dragged in. Renee and Alicia agree to let it all go. Maybe renovations do work after all!
Drita’s Store Opens
Despite many issues and setbacks, Drita opens a second store. How many people in New Jersey go to a makeup studio to get their face done? I don’t get it. The second store is a mishmash of all sorts of things: a tanning salon, some hair extension sales, jewelry… it seems these housewives all tend to become a bit unfocused when trying to push a product line. #toasteroven
At Drita’s opening event, the store looks incredible! She has her own cosmetics line called “Lady Boss.” It’s really an upscale looking shop! Nary a leopard print in sight!
For some reason, Natalie drags London to Drita’s store opening. He’s the only guy there because it’s a girls party at a makeup store! Despite all the various facets to Drita’s store there is nothing there to fix his teeth. I do not get why he was allowed to film.
Renee calls Alicia and says she was “going through her social media” when she really means obsessively reading Natalie’s Twitter timeline, and she found some thing that Natalie said that she thinks are about her. Natalie said something about giving head to married men which Renee took to mean her. There was also something about Renee not really being friends with Eddie. So despite the dinner where they all agreed to talk about these things directly with the offending party, Renee calls Alicia. You know, Alicia who is home breathing into a brown paper sack while waiting on her embezzlement and fraud sentencing which she thinks is happening in a few days. Alicia seems to think Natalie would not do something like that unprovoked and that she is not aware of the tweets (because she has better things to do than read Natalie’s TL at the moment.) And Renee goes nuts. Alicia asks why she is not saying this to Natalie? Renee starts making death threats by suggesting Natalie would need to get a coffin from her own funeral home if she goes to talk to her.
Natalie and London
Natalie and London are thinking about moving in together. He wants her to relocate to New York. She is unsure if she
will be renewed for the next season of Mob Wives wants to move in with London. They go apartment shopping anyway. I agree with Natalie that grocery shopping when you have to walk up three flights of stairs would be a bitch. I’d get mine delivered if I lived in NYC. Then again, there are grocers all over the place so you could pick up a few items for that night’s dinner on the way home. Natalie has sticker shock. She has a home with no mortgage in Philly and is not excited about living in an overpriced shoebox in NYC. Natalie needs to dump London anyway. Oh good. Natalie seems to get that.
The only thing I think of when watching these scenes is imagining Teresa Giudice watching this show. Alicia is fully in the “why is this happening to me?” stage of the process. I sort of believe Alicia and Teresa never thought that they would be in anyway implicated in the sins of their husbands. It is possible that Alicia may not have really known what she was getting into, not likely, but since I haven’t read her legal documents, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. But while Joe probably did put Teresa’s name on a lot of stuff without informing her, there were also plenty of times where she personally falsely swore to incomes and put her name on properties in front of a notary. So Teresa crying “Whhhhhhhhy??????” like Nancy Kerrigan after her knee capping makes no sense and evokes no sympathy from me.
I think Alicia putting her boys on this show is despicable.
Big Ang Starts Building a Baby
Neil goes to a fertility clinic to get his sperm tested to make sure his boys can swim. Big Ang chooses his porn. Ain’t that sweet?
Renee Has A Holiday Party and Invites All the Ho Ho Ho(s)!
We haven’t had a single brawl this episode and that can’t happen so I assume we are about to have another Pajama Brawl like they did on RHOA. As soon as Alicia mentions Natalie, Renee leaves the room. Speaking of the room. I must have missed where they are. Did they go to the Intercontinental? Because pajama parties there do not go well. Drita and Big Ang follow Renee to find out what is wrong. Renee tells them about the tweets. This version is worse than the version Renee told Alicia. Drita and Big Ang take Renee’s side without hearing from Natalie or seeing the tweets. Which would be fine were it nor for Renee’s tendency to embellish.
The ladies reconvene downstairs with Alicia and they all begin to discuss Natalie outside of her presence despite all of them agreeing not to get involved in feuds that don’t involve them or dragging in third parties ever, ever again. I’d like to say that the ladies sat around in some cute flannel PJs and spoke in civilized tones. We all know that didn’t happen. Big Ang and Alicia are in their robes with their bras hanging out (except for Big Ang whose bazookas swing free under a very large Japanese Kimono) Renee is in flannel PJs and Drita is in a corset and inexplicably wearing knee high leather boots when Renee explodes on Alicia since she is the closest thing to Natalie in the room. Drita tells Renee she is being defensive about something she claims she never did. Renee screams that she is fed up!!!
Next week is the Season Finale: Alicia goes to get sentenced but doesn’t and Renee’s ex husband gets sprung from the pen and Renee freaks the fuck out.