The gals from Blood Sweat & Tears are back in the city and hopefully ready for something a little more upbeat than the dying daddy storyline. Everyone is getting ready to go to the Polo Classic and shopping for hats. The girls are divided into two groups. Demetria, Geneva and Brie, and the lesser idiots. Clearly, DGB do not want to mingle with MMD. Mica is talking about how she is super woman in her talking heads and talking about cremating her father in the hat shop. Okay, you know what? I don’t care if I am an hour behind on my recapping. I am going to need a glass of wine for this. Please standby. I need to search for a corkscrew. I’m back. Thanks for your patience. I now have wine and candlelight (not from an abundance candle, sadly) and am ready to forge ahead.
Daisy and Maisy, I mean Melyssa, tattle to Mica that Brie had lunch with them to discuss Mica’s alcoholism. Daisy and Melyssa name their click the Louds and the sane girls the Prouds. Works for me. The Louds sure don’t have anything to be Proud of.
Demetria meets with Harriette, her mentor who calms her down a bit because her cup runneth over. They talk about how Demetria and Greg want different things when it comes to getting married. Demetria realizes that Greg needs to be high on her list even though she has so many projects going on. Demetria wants to go to the Justice of the Peace and Greg wants a big traditional wedding. Harriette advised Demetria to make time for Greg everyday. Gurl, if you don’t someone else will! He’s a good catch! And now that you are flashing his fine ass all over the TeeVee? You better keep him happy at home, that’s all I’m saying.
The Louds arrive late and are already living up to their names. They are just there to get drunk and ignore the game. The Prouds are watching. Geneva has a polo player she is in love with. I love Geneva. The Louds are drunk dialing Brie and being obnoxious. At halftime, when everyone goes out to stomp the divots, the ladies unfortunately run into Daisy. Demetria and Brie ignore Mica. Mica has flashbacks to junior high when everyone hated her “for her looks.” Geneva greets Mica and asks how she is and she explains how her life is always drama free. You know sometimes I wish there was still a God that would zap liars with lightning bolts. Because, fun! That Old Testament God did NOT fuck around. I’m just saying. Geneva just smiles and nods. Mica heads back to her blanket.
Brie tells Daisy that she feels like she and Melyssa attacked her the day before at lunch. In my opinion, it was not so much an attack as it was closing ranks around Mica. I think they all sort of had Mica’s best interest at heart, they just both had very different experiences with Mica and different ideas of what Mica needs. Demetria chats with Melyssa about Mica and Melyssa says she doesn’t think Mica has a problem. Demetria and Melyssa hug it out and agree to disagree. Daisy wants Brie to meet with Mica. Brie says she will if it is just the two of them over a glass of water but not today.
The next day the Louds are at the pool. Daisy is having a book relaunch party. Because Daisy has a book. Of course she does. Excuse me one moment. I need another drink. Okay, I’m back. Daisy’s voice is horrid. Good luck finding a man who wants to hear that non-stop every day. I suggest she gets a vocal coach. Mica decides to call Brie and she leaves a message asking to meet with her.
Demetria chat about the wedding. Apparently, Greg wants to have the wedding in Johannesburg. So, obviously, Greg is South African and wait….what? He’s American and his parents are Jamacian? So um, okay. I hope he doesn’t want guests that he actually knows at his wedding. Demetria tries to suggest a Justice of the Peace first and then a symbolic ceremony in South Africa. Greg wants a dowry. Despite that not being the way things work, I still think he might be owed a couple goats and a bag of gold coins for this marriage. That Demetria is two handfuls! Their scene was very cute.
Daisy and her assistant Lauren say a prayer before her event. He prayer included a hashtag. #NoDrama. I had no idea that New Testament God was down with texting. I am not only the last person on earth without a smartphone, but apparently my reign in that regard extends to the heavenly realm as well. I feel sort of more special than God now. Kinda like The Beatles of my generation. (The sound you hear is the devoutly religious folks sending me emails telling me they are never, ever, ever reading here again because I am going to hell. Fear not ye Christian friends, I have already prepared my hand basket.) Daisy is late to her own event. She is bringing a rolling clothes rack for people to hang their raincoats on. This was a sweet gesture on her part. Except that it is not raining. Remind me again exactly what Daisy does for a living?
Mica is out drinking wine and waiting for Brie. Why do all of these girls drink white wine or rosé? Mica starts telling her version of the story which is essentially Brie was rude to her and didn’t care about her family situation. Brie counters with her out of control loud drunken bull in a china shop behavior. Brie said that her father passing doesn’t matter. DA DUM……#commercial. Brie is not looking good. She really lacks compassion. She could have come at Mica with a bit of sympathy and still made her point. Brie lost any high ground she might have had at that luncheon.
Back at Daisy’s party, Daisy calls Brie who says she is not coming because she is going to a surprise party for someone else. One would think someone as well-bred as Brie would have RSVPed. The other Prouds were excluded from the invitations. I assume this bothered them not at all. The Louds are squealing loudly. Mica, who has a cow when people assume she is white, makes several inappropriate comments to Daisy’s mother in law who is Japanese. She is not amused. Daisy’s daddy gets up and makes a speech. He is sweet. Oh Lord, Mica is going to take this moment to cry. Sweet Jesus, girl. I get it. But save those tears for your pillow! Daisy gives a speech and cries because her book is going to be an e-book. Or something.
Oh No. Just no. Mica gets her father’s ashes in the mail. Why? He mother is alive. She would be the one getting UPSed the remains. He had other relatives at his side. So why is she getting the ashes? She keeps saying it doesn’t seem real. I agree and am fast forwarding. Is there nothing folks won’t do on camera anymore?
Next Week: Demetria has an event. Mica’s Mama finds out that Mica’s boyfriend has another relationship.