Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 1 Recap

Vanderpump Rules Jax Taylor Freedom Tatoo Shirtless

How stupid is it that Andy grew a beard and then had to film the Vanderpump Rules Reunion? If we didn’t already know now it incredibly obvious that this was filmed before Kristen and Tom were on WWHL and it seemed like they were intimate in their hotel room the night before! Wait, I just checked and Andy had the beard then too. Kristen tried to make it seem like she and Tom hooked up the night before. I’m still thinking the WWHL show on January 14th was after the reunion. I’ll know more after I watch this.

I am not going to give a blow by blow of this as all of the attention whores have a lot to say. They are talking about their hair so, um whatever. Lisa said that everyone is working there still except for Stassi who Lisa says just disappeared with no notice. Stassi has moved to NYC. Jax says he likes coming to work with Stassi gone.

Stassi and Scheana bitch. Lisa tells Stassi she was not a good friend to Scheana. Stassi is no longer going to be a bridesmaid for Scheana.

Jax says he is done with Stassi. Lisa calls him a liar. Tom says that Jax was gross being so needy toward Stassi. Stassi has Jax blocked on her phone. Andy is asking dumb questions, like what Stassi thought of Jax’s getting her name tattoed. Duh! She loves any kind of attention. This had better get better! We really don’t need to rehash every element of the Jax and Stassi relationship.

Stassi is in love with her new boyfriend, Patrick. Lisa says that Stassi was wrong for leaving SUR with no notice to run off to NYC with Patrick. Stassi says she loves SUR but she is so heartbroken about what everyone has done. Really? WTF has everyone done? Why is Stassi always playing the victim? Jax says that he is dating and has no girlfriend.

Andy asks Tom about his cheating with a bottle service girl in Vegas. Tom says at that point he did not want to be in a relationship anymore. Tom says he could not even give Kristen a hug without her freaking out. When he kissed Ariana, it was after Kristen had a three month affair with another SUR employee.  Kristen said they were not happy and they were like roommates at the time she cheated. Tom says they were amazing. Lisa asks Tom why he is in a relationship where he has to pretend everything is okay. Tom says it’s not pretending he just got tired of rehashing all of the cheating. Lisa says Tom looked her in the eye and said he never kissed Ariana. Why does he owe Lisa an explanation? She’s his boss! It’s none of her business!

Pump Rules Ariana Prettier than you

Ariana has joined the group in a very sexy and very revealing top. She is seated next to Tom. Kristen is already giving her the hairy eyeball. Andy asks Scheana about being friends with Kristen when she is Ariana’s best friend. She says she has made up with Kristen and they are friends and that sometimes puts her in an uncomfortable position. She is also friends with Tom.

Ariana says she has no ill-will toward Kristen. Lisa jumps in again to ask Ariana why she lied to her about her relationship with Tom. Again, Lisa, it’s none of your business! She is your employee not your property!  Andy asks if Tom still maintains that all that happened in Vegas was a kiss in the pool. Tom says yes. Andy does not believe him. Ariana says it is easy to stop at a kiss. Jax is incredulous about the concept. Andy asks if Tom and Ariana are dating now. Ariana says “aaahhh…” Tom says “We’ve definitely been hanging out and things have been great! ” Andy says, “So you are kind of dating?” and they both say yes. But the way, Ariana’s hair is atrocious. She has it in a high featherbone ponytail. And she has elf ears. Honey when you come on the reunion show you have to give hair to beat everyone else’s hair. Kristen actually looks better than you. Andy asks Kristen how she feels about Ariana sitting there saying she is dating Tom. Kristen cries and says that she is heartbroken.

Andy asks Kristen how the breakup with Tom went down. Kristen says not very smoothly. He broke up with her after he admitted everything. For the next three weeks she was in complete denial. Lisa again interrupts to insert gossip. Lisa says to Kristen, but you are with James now. Andy asks who James is. Lisa says James is a 21 year old busser that is best friends with her son. Lisa really truly hates Kristen. Lisa tells Kristen not to be the victim. Kristen says hell yeah, I’m fucking a 21 year old and I love it. Tom says that he and James have known each other longer and they are in a band together and he was going to move in to the apartment and take Kristen’s place. Tom is pissed that Kristen is screwing him because they had all the musical plans together. And he probably wanted him to be the little spoon on cold California nights. Tom says that Kristen fucked James on his bed with his condoms. He also says that he came home right after they did the deed and he gave James his pants and underwear? What?

Speaking of awful hair, Stassi looks hideous. She has some sort of platinum color and the styling is atrocious.

Somehow Ariana decided to tell Kristen who is still weeping that she needs to go look up borderline personality disorder because she has it. Kristen says she is tired of Ariana’s constant accusations that she is bipolar and made up the rumors about Tom and her for attention. Really, when you think about it that is pretty shady of Ariana. Tom says that Kristen should have given him the benefit of the doubt. Andy tries to say that Kristen may have manifested Tom’s cheating by all of her suspicions. Really Andrew? She has suspicions because he was cheating!

Andy asks Lisa if she wishes she would have hired Tom Schwartz (who is nowhere to be seen as usual) instead of Ariana. Lisa says she loves Tom Schwartz.

Andy whose questions are all over the place with no rhyme or reason asks Kristen if she wishes Tom and Ariana well? Um No! Duh! Can we get a new host for these reunions, please.  The questions are seriously not worth recapping at the moment. More Stassi and Jax reminiscing.

Andy suddenly remembers Katie is there. He brings up Schwartz throwing a drink on her.  Katie says it is really sobering to see herself highly intoxicated on television. Katie tries to pretend she was best friends with Kristen. But Kristen and the whole world knows that Katie is not friends with Kristen because of Stassi. Katie and Stassi babble on about how they just could not be friends with Kristen anymore (because she would not do what they told her to.) Tom still thinks his relationship with Kristen was wonderful. Kristen asks Ariana why she wanted to be on the show this season because she didn’t want to be on last season. Kristen and Ariana are arguing and Lisa tells Kristen to zip it. Really Lisa? Do shut up. Kristen says to Ariana that she is only there because she is fucking her ex-boyfriend.  Tom says the way that Ariana kept her cool when Kristen was screaming at her was the sexiest thing she had ever seen.

Next Week: Is more of the same. Gee. I can hardly wait.

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49 Comments

Filed under Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Vanderpump Rules

49 responses to “Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part 1 Recap

  1. Very boring reunion show. Stassi looks like she is trying to be one of Hugh Hefner’s “girlfriends” with that hair (although it did make her eye color pop). Thought Katie’s new hair color was very attractive. Honestly don’t understand how Lisa can stand to be around these kids. Where was Peter? Must have been busy doing butt shots.

  2. JenB

    Andy looked like a mess and he sounded like he was unprepared with his stupid questions. What a waste of an hour. Thanks T for the great recap. I wish you could host WWHL, holy cupcakes, it would be so much fun to watch.

  3. WhyOWhy

    Omg… This is painful. And I’m only 20 minutes in

  4. I’ll read this tomorrow but wanted to say I scrolled back on Andy’s Facebook page and Washhouse Denim posted pics with Andy tagged in them saying he was wearing them on the reunion, to watch the episode. The pics were posted on Jan 18th.

  5. DebBrenn

    Peter isn’t listed on the BRAVO website as a cast member. He really should be!

  6. beth

    TT, I agree Lisa’s comments/questions do seem out of place/out of line, but not sure where she fits otherwise? The show is named after her, so she has to be part of the action somehow. I’ll be surprised if this showed is renewed … the thought of another season of self-centered kids dating each other and cheating/back-stabbing, etc. is, well, I doubt I’ll watch it again (though I will continue to read your re-caps!)

  7. Asta

    Did anyone else have the feeling that Kristen and Tom would get back together? I hope not. Now I really want to watch the interview with Tom and Kristen, she seemed to be teasing they were back together or was that to piss off Areanna?

  8. Reading Beads

    Boring does not describe this mess of a reunion. Andy and his line of questioning was awful.

    Is it just me or was Stassi wearing a wig and looking a little preggers? Her hair was beyond awful, Kristen was the pretty one. The good news is Stassi has moved on to NYC. Perhaps she won’t be back. I grow tired of this who slept with who marathon.

    Lisa’s constant prying into their private lives is just creepy. What a motley crew and sad cast of characters. If this is PR for Sur, Lisa needs to hire a professional Ad agency.

  9. NYJOEYB

    This was the best season by far! Viewership numbers are up and there is a very good chance that this show will be renewed. I for one hope that it is because I think that Ariana is really hott! :)

    • Chermixalot

      I think Kristen does have Borderline Personality Disorder and needs to get help ASAP! I’m surprised her and Tom are still working at SUR which makes me think that there will be Season 3. Otherwise why would Lisa keep these two morons as her employees working together. Lisa is smart and wants the conflict for ratings. That’s the only reason she is upset that Stassi no longer works there. I’m glad that Stassi moved away from all this drama and toxic people. Kristen clearly has emotional issues. Trying to talk to her is like speaking to a child. She thinks she looks cool for banging her ex’s 21 year old ugly friend. Sorry…it just makes you look desperate and immature. I love that Ariana and Tom are dating! He should have dumped Kristen years ago for Ariana. She is smarter, cooler and prettier! We all know the real star of the show is the antagonist…Jax. There would be no show without him.

  10. thedisher

    What a missed opportunity for Andy Cohen.

  11. puravidacostarica2

    That first photo of Jax, the one of his reflection in the mirror — he sure looks like a 1970s porn star. Ummm, not that I would actually know. :-)

  12. JoJo

    Well I read this recap before I was able to see the reunion and so knew what to expect so the line of questioning and Lisa’s interjections didn’t both me so much.
    Wow. The standouts to me were how completely composed Ariana was, even when being interrupted and screamed at by Kristen. Kristen looked good, but how in the hell can she be so hypocritical about still being a victim of Tom’s indiscretions while she had just as many if not more? Besides Jax, she does another server at SUR in her & Tom’s apt., who’s also Tom’s budding new musician friend? Girl got some problems. Tom came out looking better in this one so far.
    Looking forward to next week!

  13. Jordan

    I love that all of the ads I see on this site always show a kitty cat. I don’t know if that is the same for anyone else (I don’t know how ads work on this site, if they are tailored to a person’s interests, etc.) but I am a cat fanatic so it always makes me laugh. It was the best thing about reading the blog on this lame ass reunion tonight. (That is no disrespect to Tamara. After all, you can’t polish a turd.)

  14. Brianna

    When I was younger I used to think to myself ” I wonder what the Rugrats will grow up to be”? Then I watched this reunion and I got my answer. Angelica aka Stassi is sooooo annoying. I thought the show was called Vanderpump Rules not Stassi rules!? Tom was being a dick head literally just as sensitive as the tip and I bet him and Kristen will get back together. Katie looked pretty hot but her roll as Stassi’s sidekick has come to an end and now she just looks dumb. Lisa also was annoying! Like why are you there she could have been featured as a guest and then left she seemed desperate she needs to go home and feed ken, I mean feed Brandi, I mean feed those damn dogs! Boring reunion — idk why there are 2 parts seemed like they covered everything — over and over.

  15. Urethra Franklin

    Jax’s number is 300? That seems like a very low number.

  16. Teenie

    Lisa has a precentage of Sur, she does NOT own it.This show is as scripted as a night time soap opera can get. The younger audience is fooled by producers into thinking it is a “Reality Show” because that is what is Popular.
    Does anyone remember Brody Jenner on The Hills on MTV/VH1? Stassi moving to NY probably has a new “Reality Show” opportunity there.

    • Bert Castleton

      I doubt Stassi has another show in the pipeline in NYC. Quite frankly she is one of the less interesting and more annoying on the show. Hopefully with her moving on we get to see some new and more interesting cast members next season. I, for one, will continue to watch. It is like a train wreck. Can’t look away even though it is awful.

    • Lisa and Ken own SUR with their Partners Guillermo and his wife. I don’t understand your distinction. I do agree this show is at least if not more scripted than The Hills. :)

      On Tue, Feb 11, 2014 at 3:51 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

  17. Skeeter

    I wonder how many times Kristin and Tom cheated on each other. Also, how many of them were Sur employees.

  18. WhyOWhy

    The eye daggers Kristin kept throwing Tom and Ariana’s way got to be so annoying. And then the fact that she got up and left the “stage…” Come on. You are not the victim! God, I hate that chick.

    Ariana was bringing back the 80s with that hair. But she looked good otherwise. And Tom (who I still think isn’t sure if he’s gay or not) actually looked at peace with her.

    Jax is trash and for him to say everything is better with Stassi gone was crappy. HE couldn’t keep his mouth shut. HE was one of the instigators. HE kept the crap going.

    Not to say Stassi wasn’t a big part of the drama. I’m glad Lisa called her out on leaving with no word. That was crappy.

    Lisa… what can I say. I love that woman and want her to adopt me. LOL

    No matter what color her hair is, Katie is not a cute girl. And brings nothing to the show.

    Bravo needs to really step up part 2 of this reunion show. I got bored.

  19. Hannah King

    I have a couple of questions and will give the reasons for the questions. When was VP Reunion taped? Doesn’t preproduction for VP usually start in early spring? From reading some tweets I thought I heard that Stassi and Katie watched the reunion together. I went back and read Katie’s tweet that she was looking forward to Stassi coming for a visit. Thus my real question. Is maybe the real reason for Stassi’s visit VP related and not just her missing her BFF?

  20. puravidacostarica2

    Tom’s tweets last night about Brandi and the “scripted” comment sound like the result of a night of drinking and then having the tweets whispered in his ear by Andy before Tom did the walk of shame back to his hotel. LOL

  21. lori

    Okay, another “give” that this site is fake and they can’t keep their facts straight… Earlier on the reunion Kristen said that she was still living in their old apartment when they broke up, and Tom said he was going to have his ex-friend (her current boy toy) move in to take her place. Unless I heard that wrong, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t. Most boring reunion show EVER.

  22. Chermixalot

    Seriously I don’t claim to be a medical expert, but if you read up on Borderline Personality Disorder like I did, Kristen displays the same exact symptoms and behavior. That is not an opinion, those are just facts. Someone who acts like that when they are 30 years old has some sort of emotional instability…it’s not normal or appropriate behavior.

  23. Gabriella

    How can two people claim their relationship was amazing (Tom) and Kristen says Tom is the love of her life and she has made the biggest mistake of her life, and yet they both cheated with more than one person?? WTF! By the way, am I the only one who finds Jax unattractive, I.e. Not good-looking??

  24. Katherine

    Tamara!!! I found your site yesterday and have done absolutely nothing since then reading all the rhobh and vr recaps! You are fucking hysterical! I am hooked. Stassi is such a total bitch and Jax is disgusting! Who would even sleep with that fucktard?!? I really do think gay tom is gay. Evil bitch queen stassi will definitely come back from NYC to tape. We will continue to see her next season and hopefully she will fix her fucked up hair color by then. Some of my girlfriends were in LA a couple weeks ago and went to SUR for drinks. The reported some of these train wrecks were actually “working” that night —-in between drinking/smoking in the ally, gossiping and having sex in the bathroom. Hahah. Now I need to start reading all the other recaps for the other shows!! You have ruined me for her next dew days but there is an ice storm here so nothing else to do!

  25. Hi. I love this show for whatever reason. I personally LOVED the blonde hair Katie had earlier in the season as well as the cut and think she is hottest of all the girls (sorry to play that game, this cast kinda brings out my catty side). I liked Stassi’s hair COLOR but maybe b/c I find platinum enchanting and also not a possibility for me. Still, kinda a boring reunion show, I was expecting more drama.

    How “real” is any of this? People keep diagnosing Kristen but… couldn’t she just be acting this way b/c it will bring her attention on a reality show? I very sincerely hope for season 3.

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