This week on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the attempt to take down Lisa Vanderpump begins in earnest. Pay careful attention to Brandi this episode. She will attempt to sway the girls, particularly the Richards sisters and Yolanda to distance themselves from Lisa Vanderpump. You see, it’s important when social bullying to have the numbers on your side. By this point in filming she is beginning to realize that she is going to look really bad this season, just when her book is coming out. So she desperately tries to make someone look work than she does. She tries it with Joyce, but she is not at all easily worked up. Her pageant training has taught her to keep her Puerto Rican passion in check when under fire and handle things with grace and dignity. Plus Kyle and Kim aren’t getting on Brandi’s hatemobile for Joyce, so she has to find what she thinks is an easier target.
We begin tonight with Yolanda and Mohamed planning a graduation party for Gigi at Mohamed’s palatial home. I thought he sold that place. Perhaps 50,000 square foot homes are not as easy to sell as one might think. The place has been on the market ( For a cool 60 million) since 2012. I just Googled a picture and it seems the new price is $85 million. It is a gorgeous place with equally gorgeous grounds. Yolanda meets with Mohamed and his newest fiancée, Shiva for breakfast. And by breakfast I mean Yolanda does not eat anything. Yolanda feels the need to talk about Lisa’s birthday party for Ken and Mauricio. Mohamed says that Lisa invited him to her party so she knew that Yolanda’s step daughter was getting married that day. In Yolanda’s Blog She pointed out that neither Ken nor Mauricio’s birthday was on the day of the party, in fact it was a month later. Yolanda mentions that Lisa didn’t come to her stupid painting party either (because she was dealing with City Hall getting permits for her new bar, PUMP!) How dare Lisa be so “all about Lisa” and not drop everything to come paint daisies on mini canvases for Gigi! The horror!
Kyle and Mauricio have scene at their basketball court. Mainly, to force Alexia to be on camera again. Kyle is always working ways to get camera time for the girls despite them not wanting to be on the show. Kyle also tells Mauricio that there is a mandatory cast trip to Puerto Rico. She also mentions that Carlton has disinvited her to her husband’s financial company’s 40th anniversary event. Carlton still wants Mauricio to attend. Kyle is amazed that Carlton would even think they would want to come after her behavior at the birthday dinner. Carlton walks through the business pretending like she is in charge of the whole event. As if.
Cute workout scene with Joyce. Cute studying for citizenship test with David and Yolanda.
At Carlton’s party, the guests are arriving. Lisa and Ken skip the line and go straight in of course. Carlton’s Mother-In-Law is immediately asking for the vodka bar. Carlton immediately apologizes to Lisa for “what went down” at her party. Lisa said that Carlton left it unresolved. She also tells Carlton that she called this one wrong. She doesn’t think that Kyle was intending to cause trouble with Carlton. I agree. Carlton is constantly looking for ants on tits! And yes, I know I am overusing Kyle’s phrase, but I think it’s funny. Last time. Maybe. Or not. Lisa tries to get Carlton to have a conversation with Kyle. Carlton gets all teary-eyed. I don’t know what is more appalling, that Lisa has sympathy for Carlton’s tears or that Carlton tells Lisa what a spiritual, non-judgmental person she is. Oh wait, yes I do. Carlton. Carlton is more appalling. Carlton’s talking head is another boo hoo session where she says most of her clientele is Jewish and she could lose money for this! Well you should have thought of that before you attacked a prominent Jewish woman on national TV!
Kim shows up at the party as Lisa and Ken were leaving. This scene is hysterical. Lisa and Ken say they were disappointed Kim did not come to the birthday party and Kim, bless her heart, goes into this spot on imitation of Lisa saying over and over in a British accent, “I was in Wisconsin, let me show you the pictures!” while fumbling in her purse. Best Kim scene ever! Lisa and Ken take it in stride. Then Brandi shows up. Brandi ate something and her throat swelled up. Such a softball of a set up. I will pass. *cough* STDs *cough*
Brandi pulls Kim aside to tell her that Kyle and Carlton got in a huge fight at Ken and Lisa’s birthday party. Shouldn’t Kim already know this? Does she not talk to Kyle? Why is she at this party? Brandi says she was not prepared to see Scheana at Lisa’s party. She tells Kim she was uncomfortable with Lisa prodding her to talk to Scheana. I agree. That was bizarre on Lisa’s part. You can see the script beginning in this scene. Kim asks how Brandi and Lisa’s relationship is. Kim starts listing all of her issues with Lisa. And so it begins. By the time everyone gets to Puerto Rico, Lisa will be the victim of everyone’s wrath.
Are all citizenship test given orally? Face to face?
Brandi meets Kyle to
further her agenda to get everyone to hate on Lisa do some hiking. Brandi wants to know why Kyle is so close with Lisa again. Kyle says they are not that close. She says lately Lisa has been calling her in the mornings and they talk. Brandi says that Lisa used to call her every morning (really is that what grown women friends do? That would irritate the shit out of me.) Brandi knew something was up when Lisa stopped calling as much. Well, Brandi, maybe it’s because you have been a giant cunt face to Lisa and act like anything she tries to do to help you is a major inconvenience. You are acting like a teenager with an attitude problem around her. Why would she want to call you? Kyle basically says she is going along to get along with Lisa. Kyle says she generally lets things go with Lisa. Brandi says Lisa never asked her to say anything, but she now Brandi says that Lisa manipulated her to spill all of Adrienne’s tea. It’s all Lisa’s fault! Brandi could not help but do Lisa’s bidding. She was controlling her mind! Brandi says that Lisa is playing all of them! Brandi and Kyle bond over their mistrust over Lisa. Bravo plays a whole montage of talking heads that say that Lisa is manipulative. Brandi says that Lisa got Cedric thrown out of the country! LOL
Speaking of Lisa, she is doing a photoshoot. Stassi is there pretending to be a stylist. It’s boring.
Next week: The plotting against Lisa continues