It’s been two weeks since the last episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, and when last we left the ghetto peaches their men were brawling in their underwear. Tonight, we resume and it is the womens’ turn to try and turn things up. Please note, I will not be referencing Chuck Smith, AKA Big Homie in his own mind, at all during this scene as he will remain ensconced between the fireplace and his wife’s coat tails for the entire drama.
We begin with Phaedra continuously repeating “we need to leave” despite the fact that absolutely no one, and surely not Apollo is paying her the least bit of attention. Once again, Kenya speaks the truth in her talking head. Nene started all of this with her shit stirring questions and now that everything went left she is trying to wash her hands of the whole situation. Nene makes a dramatic and illiterate announcement, “This ain’t about gettin’ all crunk with no fisteses and stuff!” Porsha tells her sister “we ain’t sign up for no shit like that!” and they leave. It seems like Porsha is going to stroll through the lobby of the Intercontinental in a bright orange bra and panty set and a very see through white dress.
Christopher Williams and Nene seem to be on the same
drugs page and are hugging it out. Natalie’s face indicates that she is not thrilled her man is in a very long embrace with a half-nekkid woman in mullet lingerie. Christopher decides the best thing to do is make another announcement. He says, ” You have to be a strange person to walk up to somebody and tell them (approaches Nene) I know Gregg better than you….” His thoughts are so disjointed I am not even going to recap them. It seems like an attempt to get on his wife’s/girlfriend’s? good side. He accuses Kenya of being “on molly” (ecstasy). Well, KENYA didn’t appear to be on anything but now I have a good idea what he and perhaps a couple of others were on. I mean what’s a “pillow talk” party without some X? Thanks for spilling your own tea there, Christopher.
So after Christopher’s pointing out that Kenya should not be talking about his relationship like she knows about it, Kandi takes the opportunity to point out that Natalie, Christopher’s wife (or girlfriend depending on who you ask) was all up in her relationship Kool-Aid without even knowing the flavor. Awkward silence. Natalie tries to talk her way out of it by throwing Cynthia in the wood chipper. This sets Cynthia off. Christopher can’t seem to stop talking. Is that a side effect of molly? He decides to tell Todd what was said at an event he was not even at. Cynthia tries to tell Kandi that she is only hearing the negative stuff that Natalie said and there was a whole conversation. Both Cynthia and Kandi are talking with their hands but Kandi is so short Cynthia’s hands are at face level and she is getting jumpy. Cynthia tries to explain to Todd because Kandi is not listening.
Then Mallorie decides to push Cynthia back and get in front of her as if to defend her from something that isn’t happening. I think this whole crew is on something. Erry last one of ‘em. Peter, who has been listening at the door walks in and pretends not to know what is going on. He seems to be chewing on something but there is no food in sight. Kandi somehow gets the idea that Peter is bucking up on her. He wasn’t Kandi is… not thinking clearly at this point. Peter says to Todd that he knows the rules, Todd pushes Peter back slightly and Malorie jumps in between the two men. Why? Is she defending Peter? What is her reason to even be standing up? This escalate super quick and Mallory pushes Todd. This makes Kandi lose her mind and she tries to get at Malorie who pushes her back. Again, Christopher is all up in the drama without a ticket to the show. He pretends to be holding Todd off but Todd is not going after anyone, he is trying to drag Kandi out of the line of fire. Peter starts yelling at Christopher to let Todd go as if he wants to fight Todd. Kandi is screaming that she is gong to fuck up Malorie. Malorie turns to Cynthia and says, “I am going to fuck Kandi up tonight. I will beat her fucking ass! I am telling you now.” Kandi is screaming bloody murder at Malorie saying she will drag her up in this bitch and Peter thinks she is talking to him. Ain’t nobody talking to Peter!
If you think Phaedra took her man and left like a sane person would do, you would be wrong. She is still there and goes to comfort Kandi. When Kandi is talking to Phaedra, I could swear she called Peter “Papa” (reckon they all call him Papa Smurf behind his back?) Kandi is mad a Todd for pulling her out of the drama.
Todd explains to Peter that he was not being aggressive with him, he was protecting his woman by backing him off. Kandi wants to go and is pissed that Todd asks for two minutes to finish the conversation. Cynthia tries to smooth things over with Todd. She tells him that Natalie had a lot of positive things to say about him as well. Things end all good for Todd and Peter and Cynthia.
OMG! During the commercial break, there is a #Movie by Bravo advertisement where Kenya is interviewing her good friend Regina Hall about the movie, About Last Night. Kenya looks fabulous and interviews Regina like a pro. Kevin Hart is there too. Kevin Hart even uses the phrase Gone With The Wind Fabulous. O.M.G. honey, if Nene didn’t hate Kenya before this is gonna start her to start cutting. I just stopped to check her twitter and it’s radio silence. And now I am behind schedule! LOL.
Kandi explains the pillow talk party Carmon. Why do these people accuse Kenya of charging at Natalie? I’ve watched the scene a dozen times at least and Kenya is doing a clear stroll over in the direction of Natalie. Kenya wasn’t charging anyone. There was no need at all for Christopher to lay hands on that woman. Kandi says that Cynthia is always trying to get in her personal space. Carmon says Kandi was acting like her mama! Kandi says she was worse than her mama. Todd says they need to apologize to some people. Kandi says she needs to apologize to Cynthia, she actually likes Cynthia.
Nene and Gregg take some donuts over to Cynthia and Peter to rehash the party. Nene is trying to blame Kenya too when the truth is it is all Nene’s fault. Cynthia is mocking Kandi. This group is talking about how ghetto Kandi is. Cynthia says that Kandi was saying she was going to kill her. Cynthia says Kandi was acting like a street thug.
Brandon meets with Kenya and shows her his black eye and cracked rib. In Brandon’s recollection he talks about someone’s hands around his throat. That was Peter. Peter seemed to be trying to choke Brandon out on the down low for some reason. They talk about the police report. Brandon says if it were just Phaedra and Apollo he would press charges but that he feels bad for their kids. Well Brandon, you give those kids way more thought than their parents do.
Meanwhile, at Phaedra and Apollo’s house. As Phaedra walks in the door at the end of the day, Apollo is in the kitchen putting things in his mystery back pack of illegal activity. Phaedra says she is irritable today and Apollo responds, “Just today?” Phaedra is apparently returning from Alabama where she says she did not do well on her test or embalm any bodies. They talk about the fight and Apollo said he was having a good time until the madness began. Apollo is telling some sort of story about Brandon falling on a bean bag and Apollo trying to put his shoes on. It’s all horseshit and Phaedra acknowledges it as such. Phaedra is blaming KENYA, for fucksake. Phaedra says she didn’t want to go anyway. A party with grown people in pajama’s she is not into “that fluffy” thing. Phaedra says it’s a fetish, people dressed in their pajamas. Come on now Phaedra, if a third of what the street says about your sex life is true you know it’s “furries” and they dress up in furry animal costumes. Come on now. Oh there she goes, she said furries the second time. Apollo Apollo-gizes to Phaedra. I think he needs to give an apology to a whole lot more people.
Kandi is holding open casting call for her play, Love. A Mother’s. I had no idea Atlanta had such bad singers. Where did they find these people?
Later, Kandi invites the girls to a spa. I assume for her to apologize. Kenya is pissed at Phaedra because neither she nor Apollo called Brandon to apologize. Phaedra says she is not going to let anyone come for her husband. Nene says she did not get an apology from anyone. Probably because it is all her fault. Then Nene throws all kinds of shade a Brandon, who she said did text him. She calls him “Kenya’s good girlfriend in the red gown, Miss Brandon.” And Nene’s disdain for gay men raises it’s ugly head again. She continues to use female pronouns when discussing him. That ought to be enough for Andy Cohen to throw her off the damn show.
After the massages ,Kandi apologizes to everyone over some green tea. I am dying to know the name of the spa they are at I was typing and missed it. Anyway, Nene says she doesn’t think Kandi needs to apologize as much as Kenya. Nene tells Kenya she should apologize because it was Nene’s event and not hers. Cynthia raises her hand like a teacher’s pet in an elementary classroom. Cynthia wants to address Kandi she seems to be apologizing she says she may have gotten to close to her personal space and she saw a side of Kandi she had never seen before. Of course instead of letting her finish, Kandi interrupts her all offended by Cynthia saying she saw a new side of her. Kandi goes off again. Cynthia and Kandi argue about the brawl all over again.
Phaedra is playing with her tea bag avoiding the whole confrontation. Has yet to say a word about her man throwing a prison yard beat down on a guy for no reason at all. Phaedra eventually launches into a spiel about black men and stereotypes and black women and…. Really? Really Phaedra? Your husband IS the stereotype that causes the negative labels. Kenya calls Phaedra out in her talking head asking if she has lost her mind. Phaedra says Apollo was just trying to break up a fight. Kenya stops Phaedra’s unending stream of bullshit to point out that nobody deserves to get beat down like they are in the middle of a prison melee for protecting a woman from a man. Cut to Phaedra’ s talking head that says simply, “That’s old news slut, please move on.” Well Phaedra it seems that everything old is new again when it comes to prison.
Nene tells Kenya it is all her fault. Then she makes anti gay comments about Brandon again. She says Brandon didn’t know how to act and was jumping up like a queen knowing he was gonna get his ass beat. Nene says Christopher didn’t even touch Kenya. Nene says Kenya is lucky she didn’t get her ass beat. Nene is a jackass. I can’t believe no one is defending Kenya. Hell, I am defending her and I didn’t even like her. Production keeps showing very clearly that Christopher grabbed Kenya. Yet all these bitches keep saying that didn’t happen.
Next Week: Porsha auditions for Kandi’s play, Kenya throws a ball, Nene is a bitch, Marlo Hampton befriends Kenya, Kenya kills Nene with kindness at her ball and Nene gets pissed. Nene yells at Peter.