It’s been two weeks since we have spent time with those yankee gals (and Demetria) up in New York from Blood Sweat and Heels, and I am ready to get back to it. When last we left them, Daisy and Melyssa were still in the city doing their thangs, whatever they are, and the rest of the gang was in the Hamptons. If you need to catch up on that you can do it here.
Look, I like this show, I think it is one of the best new things Bravo has offered us in a while, and there is less fake stuff in it than most of their shows, which is great. But this show can be a little too real. This episode deals a lot with Mica, whose Father has been dying for the past episode or two. She was not on speaking terms with him and is trying to make amends. You may recall Bethenny had the same storyline on her show. But I am pretty sure Bethenny took a few days off around that time. Or perhaps she didn’t have a mourner’s meltdown on national TV. But Mica is about to lose her mind drunk off her ass in front of cameras. I feel sorry for the woman that she has no one in her life to stop her from doing it. It’s painful to watch and not fun to blog. So I’m warning you in advance I am going to try to recount the episode without all the usual snark and humor.
Mica arrives to the Hamptons very late and drunk off of her ass. She is skinny as a rail and has been drinking for many, many hours. The sad part is, that the most fake thing about this show is that these women are friends. They were not friends before filming. They have only seen Mica in the scenes we have seen where she is drunk and obnoxious. They are not her friends in real life. So what we have here is a drunk woman mourning the loss of her father without a single friend in sight. The bottom line is she should not have agreed to film the Hamptons trip. I think “my dad died, sorry I can’t make it” would cover any contractual obligation. But no…
When she arrives everyone has been waiting for her for hours and is starving. Brie’s Mama’s summer home is not the kinda place where you can just walk in to the kitchen and make a PB&J. So when Mica arrives teetering on tiny bright blue heels and looking like she might fall in the pool any minute, ain’t nobody feeling all sympathetic, what they are feeling is hongry. (Why is spellcheck acting like hungry and hongry are the same thing?) So here she comes screeching out her drunken hellos at the top of her lungs and ain’t no body happy to see her. Brie explains in a quiet, condescending voice that she is in a very exclusive neighborhood where one talks in hushed tones and displays their very best behavior. When that doesn’t work Brie snaps, “act like you have an ounce of class.”
Demetria’s boyfriend Greg is the only male at the hen party. He seems like a really great guy. He gets Mica a drink right away, which may seem counterintuitive but it keeps her away from the champagne bottle and flutes. He gives her about half a glass and she is good. Mica announces she is going to say a prayer and then clasps her hands and closes her eyes for a hot second. Geneva stifles a laugh. Demetria asks her if she is sober. Mica looks at Demetria for a long time and tries to bring her into focus. Then she asks, “Why can’t I pray?”
They ask how Mica is doing and she says that she doesn’t want to talk about that. Everyone is ready to eat and Mica claims she is not late. Demetria excuses herself to freshen up and Demetria goes with her. This makes Mica cry. Mica starts throwing and drunken fit and leaves. Gregg tries to stop her and Brie says to let her go, she doesn’t want her there in her condition.
Meanwhile, Melyssa and her hair stylist arrive at Daisy’s apartment to get ready to go to Melyssa’s party hosting event. Melyssa makes sure we know she gets paid 5K-10K to become the property of the bar for a couple hours. Melyssa talks about how ghetto some past events were but says that this one is all good. We shall see. Daisy has a talking head about Melyssa’s video vixen days and how reputation is everything in NYC.
Meanwhile back in crazy town, Mica is back because her driver left. Brie gets Gregg to babysit the drunk while she goes inside to call her a cab. Mica is angry with Brie and tells her to have some fucking compassion. Demetria wants to rescue Greg and frankly she’s not really interested in letting Mica borrow her man. She doesn’t even like Mica. Demetria beckons her man saying, “Bae, we don’t involve ourselves in this foolishness come on.” And Greg minds really well.
After the first break it seems like we have missed a lot, yet missed nothing. For some reason everyone is trying to keep Geneva away from Mica. Demetria is out there, how did this all get put on Geneva? Nevertheless, we were almost free of Mica when Geneva had to offer a parting endearment about detox. Mica turns around and goes straight for Geneva. Geneva said “detox” and falling down drunk Mica is all,”Oh like you never drink.” Gregg is trying to hold Demetria down, and she says she is not going over there and then ten seconds later Demetria is over there asking Mica if she has lost her mind and telling her she is at someone’s house!
Bottom line, these women are trying to reason with a drunk woman. Demetria and Geneva go inside. Brie is sitting outside in her lovely garden hoping the neighbors are not watching and Mica decides she wants to go inside and tear up the house before she leaves. Demetria and Geneva make a dash out the front door as Mica is trying to break into the kitchen door. Demetria says she is not going to be around no crazy bitch in a room full of knives. Thank god Geneva took off her Loubs and put on sandals because she is now running down a gravel driveway!
As Mica was leaving for the millionth time, she starts screaming my father passed away at 12:45 this morning! And now Brie is feeling bad again. Greg goes out to make sure her cab does not leave. Greg goes and gets Mica and leads her to the cab. Thank God for Greg.
Demetria decides to go home to NYC that night. Apparently, dinner was cancelled because the crew was exhausted.
Melyssa’s video vixen party is not really that interesting in comparison to what we just saw. The party is pretty much empty. It was sort of sad. Later, Melyssa meets with “her mentor” to discuss how she doesn’t want to be a video vixen anymore. He seems a bit creepy.
Mica calls Terry the next morning from her “cousin’s” house at the Hamptoms. Terry hears Mica’s side of the story and thinks all the other girls were being disrespectful. In Mica’s talking head she continues with the Wesley Snipes jabs at Geneva.
Brie and Geneva meet to discuss Mica’s drinking problem. Neither of them want to associate with Mica anymore.
Daisy and Melyssa got to Mica’s to drink and discuss the Hamptons. Mica is telling the story saying she was ambushed. Daisy calls Brie on speaker phone and Brie tells Daisy that Mica was very disrespectful to her home. It’s three against three and I am on Demetria and Geneva’s side. And if Brie comes with that deal then fine.
Demetria and Geneva are shoe shopping and talking about going to a fancy Polo Classic. They do not want to go with Mica. Or Daisy and Melyssa for that matter. I love the stilettos they are choosing, but they are ridiculous for a day at the polo grounds. They will ruin them, not to mention you can’t walk on grass in Stilettos.
Mica meets with Daisy and Melyssa to ask them if they think she needs an intervention. Daisy and Melyssa are clueless and don’t think she has a drinking problem. Brie is wasting her time.
Next Time: Daisy has a book launch party, Demetria and Greg discuss marriage, the girls break into two groups to go to the Polo Classic but somehow end up together anyway, and Brie and Mica have a private tete-a-tete
Update: For those of you who for some reason think Demetria’s hair is a wig. Demetria would tell you if she was wearing a wig, she is a very open person. Just for you, I asked her. Here his her response.
@TamaraTattles 4m @abelleinbk Yeah, but… I don’t care for that ish on my blog. I’m EXTREMLY biased. Did you cut your hair due to perms and regrow it out?
@TamaraTattles i shaved my head because that’s what i do every 2-3 years or so. i went natural in fall 1997. i permed it again in 09-11
@abelleinbk Have you done a blog about your hair, or shaving your head, or anything similar? I’m trying to clear up rumors about real hair.