All the Dresses From Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2014

Who was best dressed?

 

Note: Sorry for the erroneous update. I am used to talking to Joyce and wasn’t paying attention. I have removed the update from here as it was a fan site twitter account.  Of course this took forever as the laptop decided to crash….ugh…going back to bed.

It’s always fun to see what the ladies choose to wear on the reunion. Yesterday’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion was rather traumatic for some.  But what about their fashion choices? How did those work out?

It seems the ladies all chose to go with a shorter dress. Shorter dresses can be a good choice but the hem line is everything! A dress that is too long or too short for the person wearing it can ruin the look no matter how expensive the dresses. The reunion hemline winners are Carlton and Kyle. Their dresses fall at the perfect spot just above the knee. If you are going for a hemline at or around knee-length, Kyle and Carlton did it right.  Kim’s hemline is a good two inches too short. Because Kim’s is petite her hem length is crucial and two more inches of skirt would have drastically improved her look. Brandi needed another inch, not because she is petite like Kim , but because she has a long torso and the very high neck and low peplum top makes her bottom half look completely disproportionate. Joyce’s skirt is also too short. When she puts her leg out it look like the skirt hits close to the right spot, but when she stands up straight with her feet together it’s too short. Plus, she is going to have to worry about flashing her who-hah at the camera all day long.  Lisa and Yolanda have the opposite problem and both need their hems raised a couple of inches. Both of their hemlines make their dresses look matronly. Click through for my overall rankings.

Tamara Tattles Reunion Dress Rankings 2014

1) Kyle. Her dress is even more attractive than it appears here. I love that she accessorizes the plum bandage dress with emerald green earrings. My only critique of Kyles look is that she needed to wear a bra.  #BestofShow.
2) Carlton.  Carlton’s dress was a very close second. It fits nicely, it’s a good color for her, and it looks good on television. It’s not a drop dead head turner (and neither is Kyle’s) but everything is in the right place, including her third witch’s teat.
3) Yolanda. I am sure this dress costs a billion dollars, but failure to properly tailor makes it look dowdy. I love the color, and it’s always better to err on too long than too short.
4) Joyce.  Y’all know I love Joyce and the dress is lovely but this dress does not fit her. The whole thing looks like it shrank in the wash, or that she yanked it off a Little Miss Teen pageant winner. Love her, but this was a miss.
5)Kim. I think this dress is supposed to be a mini-dress on a normal sized person. This is an example of why we shuttle short people off to their own department so they can get mini-adult sized clothes. There is nothing wrong with the dress it’s just on the wrong person.
6)Brandi. Basically, you just can’t put a whore in office attire. It looks like something you would see at a Wednesday night church service where people go straight from their paralegal job to the sanctuary. And the skirt doesn’t fit right. And it’s not reunion wear. It’s just 50 shades of wrong.
7)Lisa. Oh Darling! What were you thinking. I mean did you get beyond “pink” in your process? You have eleventy billion pink dresses in your closet worth more than the gross national product of many third world countries and you pick some matronly lace-sleeved monstrosity? Were you planning on shopping on senior citizen day immediately afterward and hoping for the discount? I can’t believe anyone allowed you to do this. It’s dreadful.

Please share you comments below. If you disagree with me, clearly you are wrong, but go ahead, I’m feeling accommodating today.

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40 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Carlton Gebbia, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

40 responses to “All the Dresses From Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion

  1. kingafroninjaa

    Completely agree with you!

    As much as I love Lisa her dress is absolutely horrid! She should know better than to step out with that dress.. I’m surprised Giggy didn’t bark at her. The way Lisa is position is funny, as if she’s turning her back on Kyle, Brandi and the other sister. Her arm looks too awkward.

    Joyce still has the pageant girl lifestyle; nearly everything I’ve seen her in reminds me of pageant. Its just too much glitter and youthfulness that irritates me.

    I don’t like Brandi’s dress because of the that weird flappy thing going and I personally don’t think its a good color for her.

    Kim.. at least she tried.
    Yolanda orange is her color.

    Carlton and Kyle A++

  2. Tamara, Tamara, Tamara, why would you even think about rating these dresses without consulting me first. SMDH. For a Reunion Show, you want something that sets you apart from the others. Remember we will only see them sitting on the couch for the entire show. Therefore I have to give Joyce props for wearing the best dress. Brandi comes across as a Drag Queen, Yolanda and Lisa look “mother of the brideish” Kim looks like she is wearing a Kardashian castoff. Carlton and Kyle have nice dresses, but not for a Reunion Show.

  3. surprised to say this, but i think kim looks darling. A+ for dress, hair, makeup. i like the skirt length on her.
    lisa looks dowdy. yikes!
    kyle’s outfit looked cuter last nite on her kylebyalenetoo twitter photo she posted (same outfit, just sans other women). thank god she’s not in another caftan.

  4. lori

    You hit the nail on the head here Tamara. I would love Kim’s dress/look if it had been a few inches longer. Lisa! WTF?!?!

  5. Katrina

    I love Kyle’s dress. Carlton’s dress is very nice too. Brandi looks like a totally different person. I don’t like Lisa’s dress at all. It does nothing for her.

  6. I stopped watching the show before the addition of some of these ladies, so please excuse my ignorance of the names.

    The brunette on the far left looks TERRRRRIBLE in her gold flouncy, too short skating costume. And her sparkly shoes are ugly.
    Yolanda looks awful! I heard she’s ill, so maybe it’s taking it’s toll, but that haircut isn’t doing her any favors. Her dress is boring, and doesn’t look like it fits her.
    This brunette looks great! She could have added a little sparkle with jewelry, but her hair and hemline are perfect.
    Then there’s Lisa. When this dress becomes your choice for a reunion, you know it’s time to stop dressing exclusively in pink. I have nothing nice to say about either this dress or the way Lisa looks in it, so I will move on.
    Kyle is banging. Completely agree with chriscleo above too-stay out of those caftans Kyle!!
    I think Brandi’s hemline is fine, but her hair and makeup are awful, as are those clod hopper shoes! The dress kind of gives her a shape instead of her usual bony appearance. The hair is killing me tho!
    I think Kim looks amazing! Her hemline might be a tad too short (for a reunion) but she has great legs so as a cocktail dress, it works for me. Might not have been a good choice because of the cooch factor tho. I LOVE her shoes and how young she looks!

  7. I totally agree with your take on the dresses.

  8. Kisha

    I think Joyce’s dress would look nice if it were a tad bit longer. Kim looks amazing. Yolanda looks great, though I think I would have preferred a darker color. Lisa….oh, girl. No.

    Also, I had NO idea Brandi was so tall (or everyone else is super short).

  9. asc

    The only thing missing from Joyce’s getup is a baton to twirl! You nailed it on the critiques.

  10. Mimi

    I love Joyce and think she looks fantastic.

    The color of Yolanda’s dress is gorgeous, unfortunately the dress isn’t.

    I like the style if Kyke’s dress but hate the color. It ‘s boring just like her .

    Don’t like Kim, but I think she looks adorable.

    Can ‘t stand Brandi or Carlton and I personally think they both look awful. Their appearance matches their personalities, ugly tranny circa 70′s.

    • The theory is that Brandi wear SUPER high heels (although she is tall) to feel intimidating at the reunions….

      • love2hatebravo

        There aren’t a lot of alternatives to super tall heels. What’s she supposed to wear? Dansko clogs? Yellow Box flip flops. I’m taller than she is. Sexy dressy shoes is incredibly difficult at our height.

      • Her hair is also the most awful out of everyone.

      • JoJo

        That’s the dumbest thing she should do – she looks out of place and they’re all sitting for the filming!
        I’m 6′ and learned dressing for your height should have nothing to do with appearing intimidating. A smaller heel on a very nice shoe is the way to go. Also from experience the most intimidating people I came across were short – they were possibly making up for being vertically challenged. But when sitting around a table, we were all equalized :)

      • love2hatebravo

        Smaller heels are extremely out of fashion. Her only other option would have been a ballerina slipper. Which would of course be out of the question in this scenario. I liked her dress. But her hair, makeup, and face work are a mess.

      • I don’t think she needed a short heel or definitely not a ballerina slipper. I do think the SEVEN IN HEELS are too high for her. Four inches is a gracious plenty.

        On Sat, Feb 8, 2014 at 8:46 PM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

        >

      • JoJo

        love2hatebravo: I get what you’re saying. But don’t you think you can wear 3″ fashionable instead of 5″ heels plus the added inches in the toe, can still be fashionable? I was more worried about what would happen if I fell, and fall often I did, it’s a long way to go down when you’re already 6′ plus only 3″ heels; in Brandi’s case 5’10″ + 5″ + heels – she’s almost 6’5″ and is clumsy as they come apparently.

      • Mimi

        So Brandi wore super high heels to intimidate the others? Heaven forbid she try to intimidate with her brains, she doesn’t have any.

        I forgot to mention Lisa’s dress. I adore Lisa unfortunately her dress is hideous. I honestly can’t believe she saw her reflection in a mirror and thought it looked okay. Normally, she looks impeccable. Why didn’t Ken say something? I’m really shocked.

  11. JoJo

    I’ve never seen Kyle look so polished. Everything about the dress and how she looks in it is spot on. I hope she takes all the compliments and works it into her otherwise odd and kaftan-y and bellbottoms look from now on.
    Carlton’s look very good – she got the hem right and it has an interesting neckline without showing those bulbous breasts. I’m just so-so on the color.

    I think Brandi almost got it right. It fits well and not hoochie. The hemline should have been taken down just a tad because I like the peplum top. But, hate the shoes, and I’ve seen what they can do with her in photo shoots for her book, so don’t understand why she didn’t do something better with her hair and ditch the red, red lip. She could have looked perfect and I do like the color.
    Yolanda looks ok, but agree with the hem. But other than the color, it’s a rather boring dress.
    Kim’s dress is way too short and she doesn’t look expensive. She looks like she borrowed it from someone, her daughter maybe.
    Joyce looks not only pageantry, but ill-fitted, and reminds me of a costume. This girl can wear anything, wish she would have worn Carlton’s dress fitted to her and she would have looked better than Carlton in it.
    Oh so sad about Lisa. Other than it being pink, it’s definitely from the QEII collection from last year’s 75th Royal Anniversary! What was she thinking?

    • JoJo

      Actually, I take that back. I think Joyce would have looked perfect in Brandi’s outfit and the color. She’s a human clothes hanger, she doesn’t need to wear the sparkly, costume dresses. She’d look wonderful in l tailored couture….just imo.

  12. I cannot tolerate Kyle, but she looks fab! Perhaps pick of the litter.
    Joyce & Kim look ridic like they are.
    Not Lisa’s best choice.
    Yo & Brandi look lovely.

  13. Guccinara

    Those Herve leger bandeau dresses that Kyle is wearing are just so overused. Yes they look great because the suck everything in but sooooo tired now of seeing those. If I had to choose one for myself it would probably be Kim’s. But none of them are really bringing it this year. I’m in the uk so haven’t yet seen this series but I have read that it has been pretty dry and I think the dresses seem to reflect that. Lisa needs to fire her stylist pronto – she has that beautiful dressing room does it not have a mirror? Btw if anybody knows of any websites that have the shows let me know – boring or not still willing to watch and form my own opinion!

  14. This is the first time I have actually thought Kyle looks good. No caftans and no dresses two sizes too small. She looks great and I don’t even like her. I like Joyces dress is it were a bit longer. They all look better than poor Lisa. WTF was she thinking? Not only is the dress ugly, it makes her look fat and she is hardly fat. I agree Kims dress too could be a bit longer. As a five foot tall person fifty years plus, you need to go to knee length or it looks like you’re just trying to hard.. Poor Lisa. Yolanda looks boring but okay.

  15. jrleaguer

    Not a huge fan of any of their dresses…but at least Yolanda and Lisa get votes from me for being age appropriate in the area of dress length.

    • If by age appropriate you mean dowdy, the yeah. There is no excuse for those hem lines. They are not flattering to anyone.

      On Sun, Feb 9, 2014 at 11:25 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

      • jrleaguer

        No, I meant the length. Kim’s dress was too short…in my opinion. When you get to be the ages of Yolanda, Lisa , Kyle and Kim…the knees are not always a great feature. If someone wears hose, then a slightly shorter length is a bit more forgiving, but with the trend being bare legs even in winter, aging knees are not appealing. :)

    • I mean with that sort of pencil cut. If you want to go for that length, you need a full skirt. #TamaraTheInternetStylistPostinginPajamas.

      On Sun, Feb 9, 2014 at 11:25 AM, Tamara Tattles wrote:

      >

  16. SaraK

    I keep seeing Michael Costello Original out of Joyce’s gown. The guy that made Gretchen’s last reunion one and Worked with Asa on Shahs. Was on Project Runway.

  17. myinfo

    Kyle and (I hate to say it but ) Carlton look the best. Nice dresses and love the color of their dresses.
    Yolanda looks great but orange is for Halloween
    Kim looks like a Solid Gold Dancer – the style is too young for her
    Joyce’s dress is too short and pageant looking. She should have a baton in her hand and start twirling
    Lisa – hate the dress, mostly the lace sleeves. Plus, I am over Lisa dressing in pink.
    Brandi dresses is nice, just nothing special.

  18. WestCoast Feed

    Why did Lisa dress as the mother of the bride?

  19. Gingersnap

    I’m bummed about ALL their dresses. Yolanda, Carlton and Brandi look like they are on their way to an office meeting (why so conservative, does Carlton and Brandi think we will take them more seriously?), I agree with whoever said that Kim’s dress looks cheap (although it’s a damn sight better than last years), Joyce looks like Kim did last year, like a little kid playing dress up, and Lisa looks dowdy and old in that horrific MESS. Kyle wins, but only because there were no other options available. She does look good though.

  20. diamondgigi

    Ms. TT yet again you are CORRECT. Great observation. You come with it shooting straight from the hip HONESTY.

  21. bendy

    You didn’t mention Brandi’s ridiculous Minnie Mouse shoes. (Granted I will be happy when the platform goes out of style. Watching women try to walk in those this is painful.) Red Patten Leather isn’t a good look on anyone, imo.

  22. I guess there IS a cold day in hell.
    Kyle looks a zillion times better than Lisa!

  23. khintx

    What the hell did brandy do to her face? kh

  24. loriflack

    The angle of the photo is one reason Lisa looks dowdy.
    Having said that, I’m pretty sure she must have cringed seeing herself, too.
    Especially being all front and center.
    Oh well ~ that’s show biz ;)

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