I am really looking forward to this episode. Due to all sorts things last night I was not able to watch until this morning. I am excited to see the sights of Turkey and….oh wait. That is not what we are getting. We get a scene with Reza and GG inserting anti nausea suppositories up their asses. Seriously, Ryan Seacrest Productions? You were doing so well.
Next, Asa tells Reza that there is a border town in Turkey where they can go and see Iran. Seriously? It’s shocking news that Turkey borders Iran? She just found this information out from a waiter? When I heard they were going to Turkey I fully expected them to be filming the entire episode at the border town. Not in the European city of Istanbul. Sigh. Maybe the breaking news is they have planes in Turkey that take you to other cities? I don’t get it. I must be cranky today because quite frankly this is the 37th thing I have found irritating and annoying since I got up a couple hours ago. I’m going to take a deep breath and consider suspend disbelief about people from Iran not knowing the border countries of their homeland or knowing that air travel exists. EXCEPT! Reza just said in his talking head “I didn’t know it was a possibility to go to the border of Iran. You can go “look at Iran” pretty much anywhere on the border and there is a huge border crossing at Dogubayazit into the Iranian town of Bazargan there are also two smaller crossing points that are much easier to navigate on foot. What am I even talking about this for, Reza probably could not find Iran on a map, with labels.
Off to the yacht. It’s really pretty, as is the Sea of Marmara. The water is super rough, so it’s a good thing that the took the anti-nausea meds. Everyone seems to be coming closer on the boat. Princes’ Island looks amazing! It’s so going on my bucket list. MJ is wearing five inch gold stilettos to wander around cobblestone streets. This is why I prefer to travel alone. I can’t with that. Reza is mocking the religious clothing and screaming for hand sanitizer. There are no words to describe how annoying I find this. While waiting for lunch, MJ is pointing out women in traditional Muslim headdresses for Reza to mock. Reza refers to the veil as “a curtain.” At least Asa tries to call him out on this. Asa must be appalled. GG calls out Reza for his disrespect too. Reza apologizes if he offended anyone. IF?
Reza changes the subject to the border trip. MJ asks what it means to go the border. My head explodes. Is anyone else wondering what the hell is wrong with these people? Asa’s explanation is it is a flight to a BORDER TOWN but then it is three hours by car to the border? Perhaps this will make sense when they show that scene. But I doubt it. Meanwhile, how is the fish? GG disappeared at the end of lunch. I hope she got up and went shopping. She seemed at her wit’s end with Reza and MJ’s mockery of the Muslim population.
Time for the trip, in a plane, where they can see Iran, but no one mentions that. In the van on the way to the border, Reza actually looks excited. Perhaps this will be a changing moment in his life after all. The van is held up by a cow crossing. Asa jokes that some of the cows might be Iranian. Reza’s eyes tear up. Asa’s mom said never in our life have we been so happy to see cows. Suddenly, the tone because very emotional and serious. Reza asks if they will get right up to the border. The guide says no, but he seems to misunderstand the question. It seems like he thinks Reza is asking why they can’t go to the actual border crossing. The guide says “because you are Americans, and Iranians don’t like Americans.”
They catch their first view of the Iranian border patrol towers. Asa points out that they don’t want to be out where they can be seen by the towers. They change vehicles to go up a hill to a place with a panoramic view of Iran. All three become overwhelmed by emotion. On the final walk up the hill, things are very somber. Everyone is crying. Everyone has their own cathartic experience that I was too busy sharing with them to post here.
Reza and Asa try to relate their experiences over dinner with the rest of the gang later, but it isn’t really something they can explain. Mike lightens the mood with the story of his trip to a Turkish Bath. He was scrubbed and massaged by a naked Turkish guy! His “dool” (penis) is flapping up against Mike as he is massaging him. The way he told the story was hysterical.
It’s the last night of dinner and everyone goes to the apartment Asa got for her Iranian family for a final dinner. GG didn’t go. Asa says it’s because she didn’t feel well. To be honest, GG has been sort of hanging back on this whole trip. I have a feeling that being around the whole group 24/7 with MJ there even after they “made up” was tiresome. I think “not feeling well” is code for “before I leave Turkey I would like some time to do something on my own without the cameras.” I don’t blame her.
At dinner, MJ teaches Asa’s littlest cousins how to high five. They are adorable and they set off MJ’s biological clock. MJ has her first maternal pangs of desire ever. She begins to face the fact that the chances of that happening at this stage of the game are very small. Wow, this is such a deep episode. This scene with MJ is heart wrenching. I have been right there with her. We make out choices to be single and to focus on other things in life, career, or travel or whatever and then one day we realize that, time has run out. It’s no longer a choice. And even if you would have still chosen not to have children, it no longer feels like a choice but more like a sentence. My heart breaks for MJ. The lack of choice feeling sucks but it does go away. The lingering what if I had made a different choice feeling stays. But I think everyone has what if feelings about their choices.
Next week: It’s back to the usual hijinks. And it looks like Jessica is pregnant. Also, it’s the season finale.