I am so not excited to recap this episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Not because I have written eleventy billion posts in the last 72 hours, but because it is Carlton’s lesbian pool party. Gross. Yet, I soldier on .
Carlton is already comparing her party to Eyes Wide Shut. Thankfully, she shuffles the children off to Grandma’s house. There are already hordes of nekkid chicks preparing to parade around in nothing but gold body paint.
Kim is doing an autograph show where people pay for her autograph and picture. No Really. Kim looks great and sober and is having a great time. Jimmy McNichol! I remember him! Sadly, he has not aged well. I mean he looks fine. He just doesn’t look like Jimmy McNichol anymore. He seems to be hitting on Kim. She should go for it!
Everyone begins to arrive a Carlton’s pool party. The requisite Fat Burger stand gets a plug. Brandi and Jennifer arrive early so that Brandi can get a head start on getting drunk out of her mind. Lisa and Ken arrive with Giggy! I don’t think this is an appropriate party for Giggy! When she sees Brandi and her badly bruised hand she asks if she has gotten an X-Ray and Brandi gets all defensive. Brandi has let Lisa look after her for quite some time now with now issue, but now she seems to have matured to the pre-teen mindset and everything is just so awful! Brandi storms off, probably to get in line for the stripper pole.
Joyce arrives looking stunning with Michael also looking fine, and they warmly greet the hostess with the usual hugs and air kisses and Carlton acts like that is just to intimate for her. Really Carlton?
Kyle gets half a peek at Carlton’s tattoo of a pentagram and mistakes it for a Jewish star. Carlton is offended. Because Carlton is always offended and she seem to think Kyle made the comment maliciously. She gives Kyle too much credit. She is not that smart.
Scenes from Kim’s fan meet and greet juxtaposed with the pole dancers at Carlton’s make choosing which situation is more bizarre quite difficult.
I agree with Joyce. You could not pay me to get in that pool. If someone was drowning in that pool, I would not be the one jumping in to save them. Sorry. Not Sorry. Carlton admires Kyle’s necklace and Kyle gives it to her. Carlton is touched. Could there be peace between these two for a bit? Probably not.
Are we done with the party already? Because after the commercial we are at Yolanda’s being all fabulous. I thought the entire show was going to be at Carlton’s party. I guess everyone behaved or perhaps their was too much nudity between Carlton and Brandi as the party wore on.
Kyle is preparing for her part on Days of Our Lives. She is talking about it having a lot of dialogue. I watched that show and she just had a couple of lines. She was actually quite good in the role though. I loved watching Kyle backstage at the DOOL studio.
Yolanda is having a party so that the girls can make pictures for Gigi to take away to school to remind her of her family and friends. Huh? I mean that is fine, but is the party just for castmates? Lisa cancelled at the last minute, Kyle and Kim are not coming so this just leaves Joyce throw to the wolves. They are carrying the beverages out and Joyce notices that Carlton is drinking lemonade. Joyce asks if they even need to bring the wine. She says when Brandi gets there they can bring it out then if Brandi wants some. Yolanda seems irritated and Carlton tells Joyce to quit labeling Brandi. Poor Joyce should have excused herself from this event. She has no ally in sight.
The ladies all climb the mountain to get to the mandatory arts and crafts project for Gigi. It’s just Joyce, Carlton, Brandi and Yolanda. David drops by just long enough to say hello Carlton immediately asks if anyone is talking shit about her. She is sure that Kyle is trashing her for being a witch because she had a dream. Oh for fucks sake. That peace offering didn’t last a minute! Joyce tries to tell Carlton that Kyle does not talk about her. Brandi jokes that Carlton will cast a spell on Kyle. Joyce says spells only work if you believe in them. Carlton is offended. Carlton is always offended. Carlton casts a spell on Joyce. And when she got home Michael was very, very ill out of the blue. Poor Michael.
Next Week: Joyce confronts Carlton about the spell. Ken celebrates a birthday. Carlton confronts Kyle.