I’m so excited to see Dwight back on my TV on tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta! Phaedra is planning a “blessing” or an “inauguration” for Mr. President. She sold the story to the tabloids as a “traditional African naming ceremony.” Whatever she calls it, it can’t possibly be as offensive as Ayden’s televised fiasco. At least she is not doing whatever this is in a church. She has rented a house for the party. Why not just have it in her house? I guess because of the renovations. Phaedra is in full put on mode. It’s a presidential theme, natch. You know, just like all the other traditional African naming ceremonies you’ve been to. Red, White and Blue champagne?
Cynthia is telling Peter about the dinner with all of the girls the other night. Cynthia is a bit irritated with Kandi for saying that Peter has a past. I really didn’t think it was a big deal or that Kandi meant anything by it. She just said we all have a past and that doesn’t necessarily dictate the future. Well, unless we are talking about Apollo. Allegedly. Cynthia is telling Peter this because they are planning to go to a couples pajama party at Nene’s and she wants him to be up to speed. But really, this is just going to make Peter go after Kandi at the party.
Kenya is still pretending to be trying to have a baby. I’m not sure these scenes even need to be recapped. Basically the doctor tells her that her eggs are still too damn old. Um, duh.
Kandi and Todd and Don Juan are talking about casting for the play. Don Juan is throwing shade about Porsha singing in the play. Kandi has confidence in Porsha. Did any of y’all go see the play? Todd brings up Christopher Williams and Kandi gives him the side eye. Don Juan knows what is coming and excuses himself. Then Kandi tells Todd about Christopher’s wife, Natalie, calling him an opportunist. Todd is not feeling a pajama party.
More Kenya silliness. Kenya and Miss Lawrence try to pick up a sperm donor at the sperm bank.
Time for the blessing-inauguration-traditional baby naming event. Oh Lord, some dude just announce the arrival of the first family. Phaedra arrives with Dylan in what appears to be a giant dog bowl. There is much pomp and circumstance and sheer stupidity as some dude announces their arrival. It’s your typical Phaedra foolishness. The collection of weirdness includes a Jazz band, and some group of Africans in African garb hired as extras or perhaps as part of the naming ritual. Phaedra is in a Minnie Mouse costume. Ayden is dressed as Kim Jong-Un. You know, just your average get together with family and friends.
Phaedra and Apollo are arguing because he won’t stay with her. Apparently she is going to dance for the crowd. Oh yeah. That is happening. What is a blessing-African Naming Ceremony-inauguration without a flash mob. Apollo wants no part of that nonsense. I mean he had to draw the line somewhere. Apollo’s Mama is there watching Ayden while Phaedra makes a costume change. Phaedra and Apollo continue to fight.
It’s time for the blessing. Phaedra’s preacher mama does the honors. She basically just wraps him in a purple cloth and tells him he is adorable. Phaedra thanks everyone for supporting her family and asks Apollo if he would like to say anything. He says no. And that is it. Wait was Kandi the only housewife there? I think she was.
Nene is preparing for her Pillow Talk party. It’s not at her house, it’s at the Hotel Intercontinental in Buckhead. Oh wow, Chuck and Mynique are there. And Nene has a half nekkid hootchie to serve the men, and some naked kid in a bikini brief to serve the ladies. That Nene, she sure knows how to put the K in klassy. That temporarily distracted me from what Nene is wearing. It’s some sort of mullet nightgown, it’s a patchwork quilt of tacky.
Nene’s is doing a group therapy of sorts with the couples. She has written down some “pacific” questions for everyone to answer. God that nekkid dude has bad skin. I can’t be looking at all that now. Lord.
Kenya is late and Nene is pissed and starts without her. One of the first questions is “Are you comfortable being around someone who you know has slept with your mate.” Oh here we go. Everyone just sort of stares into space in an awkward silence. Kenya arrives with Brandon as her date. She says she is late because she had to pick up Brandon from the airport. Nene does not care.
Kandi calls Peter out when he says he doesn’t get lap dances from the strippers. Nene says that strippers give head and have sex in the strip clubs. Well, now that we have heard from the authority on the subject we can move on. But no Apollo needs to point out he spends five thousand dollars or eight thousand dollars a pop at the strip club. When the women object he screams that it is his money and he can do what he wants to with it. That ain’t your money, Apollo, that is some women’s Delta retirement check you are spending. Have a seat. Kenya asks in her talking head where Apollo gets 8K to drop in a strip club on booty. Good questions Kenya. And now we know.
Damn Kenya gives good talking head. She makes it so hard to dislike her sometimes, but I do. She asks if Natalie has to tuck before she dances. I can’t. Kenya tits are exploding out of her bustier.
Nene stands up and decides to call Kenya out in front of Christopher about telling Natalie that he calls her his common law wife. Poor form, Nene. Christopher stands up and gets in front of the group to public address Kenya. Kenya tries to talk and Natalie interrupts her and tells her not to backpedal. Kenya gets up and walks toward Natalie, saying “this is front pedaling.” Christopher grabs Kenya and Brandon jumps up and screams do not put your hands on her. Peter gets in between then just as Christopher pushes Brandon. Apollo goes BUCK ASS WILD on Brandon and tries to kill him! Peter is in the mix, and he appears to be holding Brandon down while Apollo wails on him. Production and security step in and start hauling folks out. Meanwhile, in a hilarious moment ,Chuck hides behind Mynique by the fireplace. I so need a screenshot of that.
Nene TOTALLY started the whole thing. Nene is trying to blame Kenya. Phaedra is trying to get Apollo out of there and he runs back after someone and round two starts. To be continued…