Brandi got a replacement dog. She hates him because he lifts his leg when he pees. So why get a male dog, dumbass. That is what they do. Brandi is going to Sacramento for a book signing. Her father lives there. They have not been speaking because she called him a drug dealer in her book. Brandi has a meltdown over the dog again. Lisa tries to be there for her but Brandi is not receptive.
Yolanda goes with Brandi to Sacramento and Brandi tells Yo about her gangsta ways. Brandi calls home and her dad answers the phone and then snubs her and passes it to her mother. Her father is coming to the book signing and her mother seems worried things may get ugly.
Joyce and Michael go to a gun range so that Joyce can learn to shoot. She has a gun in the house and wants to be trained to use it for protection. They recently had two guys with ski masks and shotguns walking up their driveway. It takes some practice but eventually Joyce gets the hang of it. Joyce says she feels like a badass.
Back at the book signing, things start off well. Brandi is happy to see her adorable nieces, and things are cordial with her parents and brother. Wow, Brandi is quite good a speaking at the book tour. And she seems momentarily sober! Nice job, Brandi!
I had forgotten that Kyle and Mauricio are Jewish. Kyle says they do Shabbat every week. Kyle has a lovely Shabbat with someone’s Jewish mother doing the cooking. Kyle is planning Sophia’s bat mitzvah and she says it is not going to be extravagant.
Back in Sacramento, and Yolanda go to dinner with Brandi’s family. Yolanda asks Brandi’s father to sit next to her. She gives Brandi’s dad a bunch of musical CDs and DVDs. Guy is smitten with Yolanda and the plan is working. Until Brandi gets some wine in her that is. Then in front of her small nieces she talks about drinking and smoking pot when she was a kid. And the mood was ruined. Yolanda continues to push Guy in the direction of making up with Brandi. After drinks and dinner, Brandi’s family heads back to her fancy suite at the Hyatt to enjoy the views. Guy and Brandi finally have a brief chat, just the two of them. Brandi and her dad hug it out. It was very sweet. My allergies may have acted up a little during that scene.
All of the girls go to the gym to take a self-defense class. Brandi comes to the gym and is cordial to Joyce. Yolanda tells a story about an intruder coming into her house when she was breast-feeding Gigi he turned and ran when he saw them. And Yo chased him! The trainer is teaching the girls how to choke someone out. As Kyle points out this may not be the best idea. Yolanda doesn’t understand the tap out concept and nearly chokes out the trainer. Later, the Richards sisters go at it in the ring. Kim wins. Everyone gets along at Joyce’s event! Brandi hurt her hand punching the trainer.
Brandi, Lisa and Kyle go for drinks after the self-defense class. Lisa and Kyle are butting heads. Lisa says that Brandi needs to go get her hand X-rayed. Brandi is refusing and in her talking head, Brandi says that Lisa is always pointing out her weaknesses so she can prove she is better than her. Um, no, dumbass, she’s trying to tell you that if you broke a bone in your hand, wine is not the cure. I mean, she is better than you, but that is so obvious she doesn’t have to do anything to “prove it.”
Next week: It’s a lesbian pool orgy at Carton’s, Oh JOY! Look, I am fine with lesbian pool parties if they do not involve creepy Carlton and have actual lesbians. Grow straight women playing lesbians on TV are of no interest.