Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Gun Ranges and Self-Defense Classes? Is This a Good Plan?

rhobhseason4Brandi got a replacement dog. She hates him because he lifts his leg when he pees. So why get a male dog, dumbass. That is what they do.  Brandi is going to Sacramento for a book signing. Her father lives there. They have not been speaking because she called him a drug dealer in her book.  Brandi has a meltdown over the dog again. Lisa tries to be there for her but Brandi is not receptive.

Yolanda goes with Brandi to Sacramento and Brandi tells Yo about her gangsta ways. Brandi calls home and her dad answers the phone and then snubs her and passes it to her mother. Her father is coming to the book signing and her mother seems worried things may get ugly.

Joyce and Michael go to a gun range so that Joyce can learn to shoot. She has a gun in the house and wants to be trained to use it for protection. They recently had two guys with ski masks and shotguns walking up their driveway. It takes some practice but eventually Joyce gets the hang of it. Joyce says she feels like a badass.

RHOBH Brandi

Back at the book signing, things start off well. Brandi is happy to see her adorable nieces, and things are cordial with her parents and brother. Wow, Brandi is quite good a speaking at the book tour. And she seems momentarily sober! Nice job, Brandi!

I had forgotten that Kyle and Mauricio are Jewish. Kyle says they do Shabbat every week. Kyle has a lovely Shabbat with someone’s Jewish mother doing the cooking.  Kyle is planning Sophia’s bat mitzvah and she says it is not going to be extravagant.

Back in Sacramento, and Yolanda go to dinner with Brandi’s family. Yolanda asks Brandi’s father to sit next to her.  She gives Brandi’s dad a bunch of musical CDs and DVDs. Guy is smitten with Yolanda and the plan is working.  Until Brandi gets some wine in her that is. Then in front of her small nieces she talks about drinking and smoking pot when she was a kid. And the mood was ruined. Yolanda continues to push Guy in the direction of making up with Brandi.  After drinks and dinner, Brandi’s family heads back to her fancy suite at the Hyatt to enjoy the views. Guy and Brandi finally have a brief chat, just the two of them.  Brandi and her dad hug it out. It was very sweet. My allergies may have acted up a little during that scene.

RHOBH Yolanda Self Defense

All of the girls go to the gym to take a self-defense class. Brandi comes to the gym and is cordial to Joyce.  Yolanda tells a story about an intruder coming into her house when she was breast-feeding Gigi  he turned and ran when he saw them. And Yo chased him!  The trainer is teaching the girls how to choke someone out. As Kyle points out this may not be the best idea. Yolanda doesn’t understand the tap out concept and nearly chokes out the trainer.  Later, the Richards sisters go at it in the ring. Kim wins.  Everyone gets along at Joyce’s event! Brandi hurt her hand punching the trainer.

Brandi, Lisa and Kyle go for drinks after the self-defense class. Lisa and Kyle are butting heads. Lisa says that Brandi needs to go get her hand X-rayed. Brandi is refusing and in her talking head, Brandi says that Lisa is always pointing out her weaknesses so she can prove she is better than her. Um, no, dumbass, she’s trying to tell you that if you broke a bone in your hand, wine is not the cure.  I mean, she is better than you, but that is so obvious she doesn’t have to do anything to “prove it.”

Next week: It’s a lesbian pool orgy at Carton’s, Oh JOY! Look, I am fine with lesbian pool parties if they do not involve creepy Carlton and have actual lesbians. Grow straight women playing lesbians on TV are of no interest.

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54 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Bravo, Carlton Gebbia, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Ken Todd, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

54 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Gun Ranges and Self-Defense Classes? Is This a Good Plan?

  1. Tango

    Lol. Ya AS IF Lisa needs to try to make Brandi look bad….

  2. Great blog TT! You are just awesome to me, I’d go to your lesbo pool party any day!

  3. Hannah King

    Passes TT a tissue for her allergic attack. Mine seemed to be bothering me a bit during the Brandi/Daddy scene myself. I’m a 56 year old southern woman and I still miss my daddy.

  4. michelle

    Why does Brandi have a speech impediment in her talking heads?

  5. Hannah King

    Yolanda was dead serious about learning the choke out procedure. Look at the trainer’s face in the picture above. Looked like his head was about to explode.

  6. Gingersnap

    I’m glad Yolanda didn’t choke that trainer to death. Apparently tapping ones arm repeatedly doesn’t translate well in Dutch. I LOVED it when she said she would KILL YOU if you if you hurt her children though. She was being totally real.

  7. Mrs Smith

    Joyce looked like an idiot at the gun range the way she kept carelessly handling the gun. I loved how she was told to not worry about her hair. She annoys me more and more each episode. Between her and fake Kyle I almost can’t stand to watch.

  8. WhyOWhy

    First… The fireworks Brandi and her dad watched… Didn’t happen when that was filmed. She filmed here in June. And I live 10 blocks from where she stayed. There were no fireworks

    Two, my eyes leaked when they had their moment.

  9. Yamoah Asiedu

    Great recap Tamara. You covered everything except Carlton’s stupid auditions for her pool party. Is Carlton gay? Was she gay or is she just trying to make herself appear “quirky and interesting”?
    She’s failing at that. Her husband must be very secure!
    For the first time, I saw how annoying Lisa is. Brandi is an adult woman, she doesn’t need Lisa’s “help.” Even if Lisa has the best intentions, she should back off because it’s creating a negative power dynamic between her and Brandi. One that Kyle is keen to exploit.
    Tamara I enjoy your blog as much and sometimes more than the show!

    • Thanks. I deliberately flipped through Carlton’s scenes. I just couldn’t stomach hearing her say that “women’s bodies are a work of art” while fondling every chick within reach on camera. it seems to be her storyline and I don’t find it interesting.

      • Yamoah Asiedu

        Yep! Carlton is tiresome. You like women, we get it. How many more times before the reunion will we see her ogling other women and smiling like a loon? You are absolutely right to flip through.

      • That scene with Carlton and her cartoon voiced friend was just bizarre. Was that chick sucking on a helium filled dildo? Wtf was that all about. How many more times do we need to hear how Carlton just loves womens ‘bawdys.” Yeh right. If they are a size zero to two.. I just keep getting more and more repulsed by her seemingly oh so forced lame ass story line. And next week she is putting a hex on Joyce. I tried to like this woman because she had Kyle on blast but she is just an idiot.

  10. samantha

    Honestly, I dislike Brandi so much I found it hard to watch her. What is with her dislike of Lisa’s caring for her. She met Yolanda through Lisa, as Lisa brought Yolo to the show. It is so obnoxious to cut out a friend like that. Brandi’s problem is that her mother and father should have nagged and friggin disciplined this train wreck because she has no manners or sense of loyalty. Cussing in front of childre, talking about smoking pot…

    Anyway, you can see Kyle grab that opening where she sees Brandi criticize Lisa in front of her. Yes Kyle LISA IS BUSIER THAN YOU, she was filming 3 shows and running her restaurants.

    I can’t wait to see Brandi go down in flames, I am not going to believe a thing she comes up with at this point. Lisa has been NOTHING but a good and supportive friend. Brandi is immature…she see’s competition everywhere, first Joyce and now Lisa.

    • Twilly

      Brandi also had no problem ditching and turning on Adrienne who was the one who brought Brandi on the show! And I’m no Adrienne fan!!

    • Yamoah Asiedu

      I find it disappointing too. Brandi really was a straight talking breath of fresh air AT FIRST!
      When Brandi came onto RHBH through Adrienne Maloof, she did not receive a warm welcome. She had to claw her way through the viper’s nest. Adrienne helped her…sorta! But Brandi was a disloyal friend.

      This seems to be her MO. Get close, come up, then bite. Leave a trail of destruction behind
      Rinse and repeat.
      Even if she didn’t want to “take Lisa down”, she shouldn’t have betrayed Adrienne by revealing her secret on camera. Their conflict had financial consequences for Brandi too. Just before she was cast completely cast adrift, she latched onto Lisa. I remember watching Brandi ingratiate herself with Lisa and Ken. The cynic in me wondered how long their relationship would last. I couldn’t take Brandi’s endless fawning over Lisa, calling her Pinky, hugging Lisa and “sharing” endlessly. The flirting with Ken and massaging his ego ensured that she became ‘close friends’ of the Vanderpump Todds in the process.
      I wonder if Brandi flirts with David Foster or Carlton’s husband too? Joyce doesn’t need to worry about that!!!
      Can we say “naked ambition of a determined social climber”?
      When Brandi was Team Lisa, she never missed an opportunity to slander Kyle or Adrienne. Only the “morally corrupt” Faye Resnick had the balls to call Brandi out. If I recall correctly, Brandi was not quite so outspoken last season. Or, was she? With Lisa co-signing her bad behaviour, acceptance into the super rich elite circles of Beverley Hills via Lisa’s endorsement, the success of her first book and her “popularity”, Brandi’s confidence/arrogance has grown exponentially.
      Maybe she thinks she is invincible and doesn’t need Lisa any more.
      She was upgraded to full housewife status, ahead of Faye Resnick, the $25K sunglasses woman AND Marissa Zanuck, who were all secretly hoping to be chosen. (I think) This must have affected her ego.
      I am eager to know what caused the rift in the Brandi/Lisa “friendship.” And why on earth has she joined forces with Kyle and Kim?
      They haven’t changed. They are the same people since Game Night!

      In today’s episode I see a turning point, Brandi expressing her irritation with Lisa and making comparisons between Yolanda and Lisa as if they should be compared. Two friends can bring totally different things into your life.
      Now we see Brandi easing her way out of the relationship with Lisa and latching onto “Yo.” Yo? YO!!?
      I hope Yolanda Foster is smart enough to see through Brandi. You can always spot artificial closeness when someone quickly starts calling their new friend/associate a nick or pet name.
      I hope it is a genuine friendship because Yolanda has given Brandi lots of useful advice. We shall see.

      Excuse the length of this comment, I was on a roll!

      I get the Yolanda and Brandi pairing. Both ex models, both tall, both have children. But Carlton? I_m_so_cool_but_desperate_not_to_show_you_how_much_effort_I’m_putting_into_being_cool.

      I will continue to watch, but Brandi is HORRIBLE this season. She didn’t bully Joyce but she was hostile towards her for no good reason.
      With friends like Brandi, don’t bother!

      • so totally agree, i broke down and watched last night, a friend had said this episode would display a kinder softer brandi and all it did was make me want to vomit in my mouth. she embarrassed her family, LIED about her father being a drug dealer, called her dog stupid, good god, i find absolutely nothing redeeming about her. she may be pretty but i am finding that slipping because she is so ugly on the inside. we diverge on one point, i think she did bully joyce but that is beating a dead horse at this point. excited for the reunion, i am betting she rambles about missing dogs, cheating husbands, and then burst into tear. not buying any of it.

      • samantha

        Excellent post! My sentiments exactly.

    • Yamoah Asiedu

      I’m with you Samantha. Brandi Glanville’s lexical set: obnoxious? check.
      Immature? check. competitive? check. No manners? check. No sense of loyalty check. And to sum it all up: a train wreck. Check.
      That’s quite a feat. Poor thing. She started so well.

  11. DeeDee

    So, why wouldn’t you go to the doctor if your hand was “broken”? Brandi seems to think that she can take care of herself – Lisa takes care of this poor girl because she needs it. I can see where this is heading and I don’t think that Brandi needs to be on the opposite side of Lisa’s friendship. Maybe she thinks that Yolanda will back her up ….. until Brandi screws that up too. And how is Yolanda not doing the same thing? Wasn’t it Yolanda who was in Brandi’s face about the whole dinner incident and how inappropriate her behavior was? Someone made a point that Kyle will jump all over this Brandi/Lisa thing and I couldn’t agree more. Did anyone hear Lisa ask Kyle “where’s my card?” or was it only Kyle who said it?

    • I think it was Kyle’s talking head but I may be a bit foggy. The show is so boring that I kept nodding off.

      • Yamoah Asiedu

        Kyle said it in her talking head. Does Lisa really need cards from Kyle? Would Kyle be so puerile to give Brandi a card in front of Lisa, to “make Lisa jealous”? We all know how childish Kyle is, don’t we. So that would be a yes!

    • Yamoah Asiedu

      If it looks like you’ve broken your hand and your friend DOESN’T tell you to go to the hospital, that’s a problem. If your friend shows concern and tells you to get your hand checked, that’s also a problem?
      Notice that Kyle would have let Brandi sit there while they have drinks, Lisa was concerned about practical matters.
      It’s only a matter of time before Brandi ditches Yolanda and moves over to Carlton.
      When Lisa reprimands Brandi, it’s really because she behaves so foolishly that she needs to be reprimanded. When Yolanda tells her that what she does is inappropriate, Brandi listens and simpers. No logic, no peace!

  12. vivaladiva831

    brandi is a CEDRICesq climber and hanger on. this episode was a big YAWN. hey brandi, maybe your dad would be proud and talk to you if you would stop embarrassing him and your children on national tv. brandi’s mom looked a little pissed that yolanda was so talkative with brandi’s dad.

    one thing that pissed me off (there is always at least one thing per episode!) was what brandi said about her new rescue dog! he follows her everywhere, and she hates it? then she told him “hello stupid.” when i rescued my dog, i found out from her paperwork that the shelter she was at had named her “fugly.” that broke my heart! and she also is my little shadow. i don’t think, i KNOW it is because she knows i saved her. did she do some things that irritated me – like peeing on my bed or shitting from one wall to another. clawed through the bottom of a door, etc. but after about a year, when she realized she was home and home for good, she has been an angel since. that just really bothered me to see her act like that. to that dog, she is a saving grace.

    • viva the dog scene totally broke my heart for that poor little dog. I was not feeling any way towards Brandi mostly indifferent. But now I dislike her. Anyone imo who hates animals is just soulless. I was hoping Lisa would take the little guy home in her purse. Poor Buddy. Of course the dog is going to follow her all over. Dogs are pack animals and he is looking to her as the leader of the pack. As for the peeing, Chihuahua’s are known to be hard to train, plus he is probably nervous being in a new environment and all. That whole scene was just heartless. What an incredible asshole she is.

      • ViVaLaDiVa

        good! i’m glad i’m not the only one bothered by that scene. she was just so full of disdain towards him. that’s the best way i can describe it.

      • lori

        Seriously so mean. No taking into account what this poor little dog may have been through in his life, and she “hates” that he is following her around as if he loves her for being his savior? She’s a fucking bitch!

  13. Tamara

    I found it to be uncomfortable with Yolanda trying to get in and help smooth things over between Brandi and her dad. She was nice enough about it and didn’t say anything out of line. I just didn’t know that Brandi and Yolanda were that close she felt like she’d be able to help the situation. But just from my own personal experience, my dad would have killed me if a friend tried to tell him “let things go and move forward” with our relationship. That’s probably why I cringed during the scenes.

    • vivaladiva831

      me too. my parents would have been like “who are you? uh…thanks but it’s really none of your business.” i’m sure yolanda and brandi think since yolanda is sooooo rich and important that he would bow down to her.

    • lori

      Same here. My father would have really never spoken to me again after that.

    • Yamoah Asiedu

      Brandi is making a huge point of choosing Yolanda because “she’s such a good friend.” Wasn’t Lisa also a good friend? I’m beginning to think that all of the schmoozing and flirting with Ken last season was just a ploy to get in with the ‘inner circle’ and secure a spot on the show. Maybe she didn’t really like Lisa at all. If so, that is cold with a K!

  14. Bren

    This was a nice break from the uncomfortable Joyce/Brandi bickering.

    I felt a bit sorry for Lisa. I get that her mothering can be annoying, but I think Brandi has very much enjoyed the perks of being kept under Lisa’s wing until now, but now that Brandi is screwing everything up, she doesn’t want to hear about it. It seems like she’s just trading Lisa for Yolanda.

    It is interesting to see Brandi at the height of her success and witness the self-destruction going on behind the scenes. I don’t blame her dad for being pissed. I’d think it would be common decency for Brandi to run that by him before the book hit the shelves.

    Oy vey with the Carlton scenes.

  15. lori

    The one thing her mom told her that her dad said she had better not bring up (that he was a drug dealer, even though he wasn’t exactly a drug DEALER), and Brandi couldn’t even do that. Makes her tears and heartbroken story fall flat for me. If she really cared so much about mending that relationship she wouldn’t have brought it up. She is such a selfish cry baby. I just can’t anymore with her. And she totally used Lisa and spit her out when she didn’t need her anymore. She’s proving to be a lousy person.

  16. toria

    these women make being crass and vulgar an olympic sport. except for their bodies..nothing about brandi or carlton is feminine. what kind of men would mentally be attracted to these 2 classless uneducated women? LA is full of beautiful, smart, women…..these are not 2 of them. they both are a bit long in the tooth for the trashy behavior.

  17. Mary

    No wonder somebody stole Brandi’s dog, she is stupid and doesn’t deserve a dog. If you remember when chica peed on the floor she pushed her away and then called her back. She said back then she hated her dogs. Then to call a male dog disgusting because they lift their leg? She is so stupid and disgusting. She doesn’t deserve a dog.

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