Well this should be interesting It’s Watch What Happens Live with Kristen Doute and Tom Sandoval from Vanderpump Rules! Dr. Jenn from Couples Therapy is the bartender! Andy starts with all the Tom on Tom makeout session from the spin the bottle game that I did not recap. He says I love how upset you guys pretended to be. Tom says, “There is a lot of pretending, we have to go back to those acting classes.” Hey Tom, way to throw shade right back Andy about his fake reality shows!
Wow Andy has footage of these two on something called 23 Minutes to Sunrise acting together. Andrew, is it really wise to tell the casual viewers who may still suspend disbelief and think this show is reality that everyone on the show is a wanna be actor? No, No it is not.
Sidenote: Both Tom and Kristen look STUNNING on this show. I have never seen either one look so attractive. Then again, it’s Monday and I have been blogging or working on blog projects for more than 12 hours straight so I am delusional. Don’t mind me.
Andy makes fun of Brandi’s half-assed apologies. He plays a sneak peek of next week when Gay Tom gives and EPIC acting performance in which he tries and fails to say the word grandiose. I mean it was in the script, and he did his best to sound it out, yo.
Andy asks if Kristen still believes Tom and Ariana hooked up. She says yes. What is the status of the relationship? Kristen interrupts Tom to say they are working on it and he says, “um, yeah.”
I wish I had called in to ask where Tom Schwartz slept when Kristen threw him out of her boyfriend’s bed in Cabo. Hopefully someone else will.
Oh gay caller! Maybe he will ask. Why do you keep denying that you hooked up with Ariana even though it is obvious that you did? Tom says, you need to keep watching. Because when it is all said and done, you won’t be worrying about this situation right now. Andy has said there are three episodes left and you won’t believe what happens. Sure we will. We will find out that Kristen slept with Jax
And asks Kristen how she fees about she came off this season. Kirsten looks confused and says, “What do you mean?” Um, dear he means what is it like to appear on national TV as Stassi’s punching bag and a psychotic stalker of your boyfriend and someone with severely arrested development? But Andy says, “you know, your volatile mood swings, your crying..” She says it’s extremely humiliating.
Why was Kristen so upset with Katie for arguing with her Tom at dinner when Kristen and her Tom argue all the time? Kristen says that Katie was carrying on about something that didn’t mean anything. LOLOLOLOL. She thought she should have gotten through dinner because she and Tom don’t fight at the dinner table! DUH! Andy points out they fought at brunch once Kristen says, we didn’t fight, Tom cried. That’s different. Yes, I see. That is what we all want is for our “man” to weep over chocolate croissants because their girl is being mean to them.
Sidenote: Andy totally wants Tom Sandoval.
Say three nice things about Ariana, Kristen. The funny part is the question is from Josh, this week’s Bravoholic. Kristen is all in love with him! Until she hears the question. ROFLMAO. Then she is pissed and says, “She has good taste in men. That’s all.”
Caller asks if she agrees with what Ariana said when she said she was prettier and smarter… Kristen cuts off the caller and says no. You don’t even have to finish that. Anyone who would make that kind of statement… clearly they’re not so…
YES! DWAYNE R. FROM CHICAGO! YOU GIVE ME LIFE! Dwayne would like to know if his eyes were playing tricks on him or if he and Tom Schwartz were spooning that morning? Tom says Hey no, honestly that was CGI (computer generated imagery) Andy says YOU WERE SPOONING! Kristen says they do spoon often. When the three of them lived together? She would often wake up to find her boyfriend in Schwarz’s bed. Tom Sandoval says he is the big masculine spoon. Andy says he wants to spoon with Tom Sandoval.(Told ya!) Kristen says Swartz will get jealous. AND KRISTEN IS WORRIED ABOUT ARIANA? SERIOUSLY? IS THIS REALLY ON MY TV RIGHT NOW? Andy says he would like to spoon with Tom Schwartz too. BECAUSE ALL THE GUYS ON THIS SHOW EXCEPT PETER ARE GAY! NTTAWWT!
Why do you girls allow Stassi to treat you like garbage? Kristen says I just get off on it. I don’t love it. um yeah. /nervous laughter
How does Tom feel about the hateful things Ariana said about Kristen and did he do anything about it. Kristen over talks Andy saying good question. Tom says he really didn’t think that was a good way for her to express herself.
Everyone is so focused on the fact they need to break up. What about the fact that Stassi stirs the pot? Tom says, “EXACTLY, EXACTLY. Get a hobby. She definitely stirs the pot.” Andy says for at LEAST the third time that it is quite shocking what happens in the next few weeks. There are only three episodes left!
FINALLY IT IS GAME TIME! This usually means I can watch more and type less. Basically, Dr, Jenn asked them relationship questions and they wrote answers on cards like The Newlywed Game.
STOP STOP STOP. Question was favorite sexual position. Kristen put Missionary (mine too if you are curious) TOM PUT DOGGIE STYLE. Also good. AND PRETTY MUCH THE MAIN OPTION IF YOU ARE GAY GAY GAY! um just saying. Carry on.
Kristen wants everyone to think they voided their separate hotel rooms and got closer last night.
Jackhole goes to Andy! I totally forgot to watch him on The View today. He tried to make a point about how Barbara Walters didn’t get American Hustle and he tried to make a point about how his parents said they didn’t get it either and it didn’t go great. All Andy said is that people of a certain generation did not get the movie. Then he shows a clip from the break where he is literally begging forgiveness and Barbara GIVES HIM THE HAND! OMG! I DIE!
72% of people think that Tom and Kristen should quit pretending they are in a straight relationship. Can I go to be now? Thanks.