Marie Laveau is a 300 year old voodoo witch that has just lost everything, except for her fabulous 1970’s inspired wardrobe. She turns to Fiona, her sworn enemy, for refuge & protection from the witch hunters that used to be on her payroll. Fiona has a great bedside manner with some spiked tea and a magic spell for a good night’s sleep. She’s better than Ambien. Marie is ashamed to show weakness and is humbled by Fiona’s kindness that has has touched her soul. Soul? This is where I start to smell some witch bullshit. She continues by confessing that she has always felt alone, but is relieved to have found an equal in her enemy. At first I thought that Marie had got knocked in the head and developed some instant personality change. But after seeing her serve her trademark ‘bitch face’ with nostrils flaring at Fiona as she left room was when I realized she was still suspicious of Fiona and just in survival mode for the time being. #SideEye
Marie is awakened in the night by the supernatural presence of her dark master, Papa Legba. He has a thick Caribbean-Haitian accent, and I had to enable my close caption to be able to understand him. He was doing bumps of cocaine off his talon tipped fingernails, and he wanted to collect his annual dues. Marie wants the extended payment plan option and pleads “It’s been a hard day. You drink my torment like wine.” He sinisterly laughs at her and reminds her of the deal that she has made with the Dark MasterCard. With a series of flashbacks we learn that Marie has sold her soul to the Voodoo Satan. She pays an annual fee of an innocent life for her immortality, and Marie’s very first payment was her own newborn child. She was a powerful witch in her youthful prime, and during child birth she unintentionally conjured Papa Legba. When she accepted his offer of immortality she thought the annual dues were the Devils innuendo for sexual services, not innocent babies.
Marie slips out of the Academy and is stalking the newborn nursery at a hospital and blows voodoo dust at the nurse to enchant her so that she can kidnap a baby. Does it have to be a black baby? …I paused the TV on the close-up of the baby’s medical id bracelet, and the date was 1/07/14. That’s an interesting detail that is going to drive me crazy considering that it seems like the time frame is just a couple of weeks after Halloween at most… Marie is cornered by hospital security guards who have their guns aimed at her. “Mama’s had a hard day. Don’t mess with me. I need this baby,” and Marie’s eyes turn white and she screeches out a high pitched ululation with her tongue rolled out & wildly flickering like Gene Simmons that result in the guards shooting each other. I admit I watched this scene 10 times because I found it so damn funny. Marie’s ruthlessness is apparent as she tells the crying baby to shut up or she’ll give it something to cry about.
The following morning Marie is sitting around waiting for her free continental breakfast at the Coven’s Inn with Cordelia & Fiona as they watch the news report of Hank’s killing spree at the salon. Cordelia is whining that this was all her fault, but Marie takes responsibility for it and confesses that she hired him to kill them all. Fiona is LIVID that Cordelia married a witch hunter and brought him into the sacred Coven house. She charged at her daughter and went all Mommie Dearest on her and slapped the pity out of her knocking her to the ground. Fiona insists that as witches, black or white, they have a common enemy, and she compares the witch hunters as worker bees, but they need to find the hive.
Doorbell Rings. She’s here. #WhiteWitch
Misty Day is wearing a beautiful purple-lavender-smoky gray shawl and twirling around in her room, and Fiona walks in. Misty is suspicious and non-trusting of Fiona. She also has another resurgence planned incase Fiona tries to kill her like she did Madison. Fiona assures her that she would never harm the Supreme in waiting, but Misty does not want the title. Fiona has invited Stevie Nicks over as an offering of what the benefits would be for Misty if she accepted being the Supreme. And just as I expected Misty drop faints to the floor upon being introduced to her idol in the living room. LOL at the way Fiona hiked up her skirt and stepped over Misty to air kiss Stevie as they giggled about Misty’s reaction.
Madison, Zoe, & Nan walk into the Academy to find Stevie Nicks playing the piano and singing “Rhiannon.” Everyone is star struck and lost in the song except a jealous Madison who says “I’m a huge Eminem fan. When does he get here?” Hilariously it seems Fiona knows him too and says, “Marshall? You’re not his type. And you’re NOT the next Supreme.” Misty is enraptured and twirling & twirling. “Did I get the shawl twirl right? I want to get it right,” Misty asks before getting a firsthand demonstration from Stevie. Then she gifted Misty a black embroidered shawl, one of her own that she has worn on stages all over the world, and wished her luck on the Seven Wonders. Misty hugged Stevie for DEAR LIFE…. I wasn’t sure if we were going to get a full musical song or just some stripped down version. Though I was thrilled to hear “Rhiannon”, I did not think it would be used again on the show, but it is Misty’s personal anthem so it did make sense in the context.
Madison is feeling self-entitled just like a younger Fiona was. She is pissed about Misty being at the top of the Supreme list. She thinks she is the Supreme because she is powerful enough, and she came back from the dead (because of Misty). Nan says she could be the next Supreme. Madison insults her clairvoyance as a party trick and calls her Mumbles the Clown. #LowBlow. Nan insists that her powers are growing and she can do mind control too, and she by proves it by almost getting Madison to put her cigarette between a different pair of “lips”. Zoe reminds Madison of her heart murmur, but Madison said post resurrection she is cured of that. She even compared herself to Jesus Christ. #OhLawd….. Nan assures Zoe that she would use the Supreme title for only good things. I love how Nan is getting more confident, assertive & confrontational. , but I would have LMAO if I had heard her use the P word instead of vagina. #Meow
Cordelia finds the “hive” by using GOOGLE of all things. This is a plot hole that’s been driving me crazy all season. Hank lived with a Coven of witches, a supreme witch and a clairvoyant. Why haven’t they found this out before? Cordelia’s one click search nets the name of Delphi Trust and Hank’s father, Harrison Renard, and renard is the French word for fox. Cordelia’s married name is Foxx for those that forgot. The clues were there all along. Hank’s family empire originated back to the Salem days as furniture builders that has grown into a multi-billion dollar equity firm.
Due to Cordelia marrying a witch hunter, Fiona has switched gears again from being a loving mother to a disdainful one. Fiona calls Cordelia worthless & hopeless and practically disowns her by banishing her from helping with the spell to attack Delphi Trust. In their first co-witch act of solidarity Fiona & Marie use a rat maze, rat traps, & stacks of cash as their first line of defense against The Corporation as they performed a spell to cause the FBI to swarm the hive’s corporate headquarters with a swift raid. The spell was exhausting work for the sick Supreme as she fell into Marie’s arms and then onto the floor. But the result was Delphi Trust has lost half their net worth on the stock exchange in a matter of minutes, and Harrison deduces that this “unnatural” circumstance must be because of the witches.
Marie is returning the kindness by giving some bedside manner to an ailing Fiona by cleansing the evil spirits to slow down her cancer with some rattle viper sperm incense. Fiona tells her it’s the rising power of one of the young witches that is accelerating her cancer. She wants to know Marie’s secret for immortality. She pleads with her to help her live; after all she gave it to Delphine, a despicable torturing racist. Marie tells Fiona that she gave Delphine a vial of her own tears, but refuses to give the same to Fiona because she will only relive her sick days of suffering over and over for eternity. Since Marie won’t give it to Fiona, she wants to know “Who gave it to you?” Marie warns her “You’re not ready for that. I sold my soul to Papa Legba.” It seems Fiona is well informed on the voodoo supernatural because she knew about him. Marie tells Fiona the whole story about how she conjured Papa Legba during childbirth and that she sold her baby to him for immortality. Marie warns her that playing with Papa Legba is dangerous, but Fiona is not afraid of anyone or anything, except death.
Sensing that Misty is her biggest competition, Madison takes her on a stroll & chat while following a jazzy funeral procession to a cemetery. Madison is schooling Misty about the stream of gift’s she’ll receive as the next Supreme. She also is playing mind games to create self-doubt by telling her that everyone is just playing her to use her if and when she becomes Supreme. They enchant the cemetery works so they can have “privacy”. Madison is trying to convince Misty that she is her friend and not using her for anything since they are almost equals because she can give life to the dead too, and she proves it by resurrecting the corpse in the coffin. WOW Madison can do that too? #Surprise. Madison tells her that she is just a powerful as she is and therefore she should be trusted. And just to be a hater bitch, Madison adds that Stevie’s shawl is ugly & worthless. Misty turns her back on Madison, and she hits her on the head with a brick and knocks her into the just vacated casket…and steals Stevie’s shawl too. Madison re-enchanted the cemetery workers so that they could resume putting the casket inside the above ground crypt and entombing Misty…. So we learn that both Misty & Madison can enchant people to “freeze” in time and can resurrect the dead. WTF? #RedHerrings
Nan & Zoe find out that Luke is dead, and Nan has hope that he can be brought back from the dead. They visit his mother to express condolences and to find out where his body is. When Joan shows Nan the urn containing his cremated ashes, Nan calls her a bitch for smothering her son with a pillow, and swiftly brings Joan down to her knees using telekinesis. Zoe tries to stop Nan, but Nan sends her sliding across floor to the other end of the room. Nan reaches for a bottle of bleach and using her mind control powers on Joan saying,”You have to be cleansed” as Joan guzzles it down and dies.
At this point I have to give Nan my best Witch of the Week award because I have been waiting for BAD ASS NAN all season and her level of bitter fury was a welcome surprise. I’m just not satisfied that Joan & Luke’s entire lame ass storyline was just to be the catalyst for Nan’s dark side to emerge. All the weeks of speculation we had about Joan was a waste of our brain. Apparently the writers aren’t as creative & obsessed with details as the AHS fans, that or it’s only a creative sacrifice since it’s a limited 13 episode show.
Then we get the most oddball kooky scene and of course Myrtle is in it. She is playing celestial tones on an instrument called a theremin. It sounds like music from a 1950’s sci-fi alien flick. Cordelia complains about it and Myrtle says in a very raspy voice, “Don’t be a hater dear.” Myrtle finds it soothing, and oddly I think I do too. Cordelia is whining that she is useless to the Coven and that her life is empty, so Myrtle blurts out “Salad Dressing” as way to inspire Cordelia to do something else with her life by suggesting she bottle and sell Cordelia’s Conjured Coriander Condiment. Then she tells her to get a job as a hostess on a cruise ship, and made some flippant comparison of Hilary Clinton & Fiona, however I think it was a shady dig at Chelsea Clinton. Though well intentioned she is not making Cordelia feel any better as she throws a hissy fit by smashing things all while #Insane Myrtle just ignores her and continues to play her spooky otherworldly music.
Fiona conjures Papa Legba by offering him the finest cocaine. He appears and they broker terms for her immortality. The price? Shockingly Fiona is willing to betray & cripple her own daughter as the first payment to Papa Legba, and she accepted to murder innocents for eternity. As per devil policy to seal a deal with a kiss and to take her soul at the same time Papa Legba tells her the deal is off, “You have nothing to sell. You have NO soul.” As soon as he vanishes, the Axeman appears to Fiona. He tells her to find the young witch that is taking her down. Since she has no soul, she plans to kill them all, but first she has to snort up all of Papa Legba’s leftover cocaine.
Is having no soul a caveat to being the Supreme Witch? Or is she some evil person to her core? AND how does Fiona not grasp that is she doing the witch hunters job? #Delusional. If she does it her way there will NO witches left in her Coven? It’s ok for her to wipe them out for her selfishness? Even harm her own daughter? Fiona is one fucked up mother witch.
Zoe is telling Nan that maybe she is the next Supreme since she was able to mind control Joan to drink the bleach, “I’ve only ever seen Fiona be able to do that.” Nan calls Fiona a bitch and again says she is going to be a nice Supreme. Nan hears something in the other room and discovers the baby that Marie kidnapped stashed inside the armoire. Marie confronts a very sassy Nan, and she knows that the baby will be killed. She tells Marie she is going to keep the baby and tells her to eat shit and WARNS her that she already killed the neighbor & as the Supreme she will kill her too. Marie has this WHAT THE HELL look on her face. Voodoo queen is not used to being talked to like that.
Fiona walks in and makes Nan give the baby back to Marie. Both witches realize that Nan is dangerous more ways than one. With a hint of compassion Marie feels sorry for the baby that she has to give to Papa Legba. So Fiona wants to kill two birds with one stone. And with NO WARNING it was coming the Thelma & Louise of AHS snatch Nan and viciously drowned her in the bathtub as she struggled. It was swift & savage. I hate you #SoullessWitchBitches. Marie has satisfied her debt to the Devil, and Fiona has eliminated one of the contending Supremes.
Papa Legba appears to collect Marie’s baby or an innocent, but Nan is neither. Fiona explains Nan is slightly tainted for killing the neighbor “but the bitch had it coming.” LOL. Papa tells both witches that together they are big trouble then Nan’s spirit appears, and she complains her eternity outfit. Papa Legba takes Nan, and she willingly goes with him to the otherside, the DARK SIDE. #NOOOO.
Fiona is tearful & pensively lost while Stevie Nicks is playing the piano and singing the haunting & somber perfect ending to Fiona’s long day. “Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You?”
Has anyone ever written anything for you In all your darkest hours?
Did you ever hear me sing?
Listen to me now.
You know I’d rather be alone than be without you, don’t you know?
Has anyone given anything to you In all your darkest sorrows?
Did you ever just give it back?
Well, I have I have given that to you.
And if that’s all All I ever do.
I want you to remember me
The lyrics were slightly different than the original, but it was an odd choice considering what a soulless cunt Fiona is. Fiona’s anthem should be Jennifer Holliday’s “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going”
Cordelia deserves the Whiny Wussy Witch of the Week award though this is a setup to her storyline to do something drastic just to be useful to the Coven and to get back in Fiona’s good graces.
This episode felt like a different show, and I actually LOVED it, but I have my complaints. It was fast paced, and some things just hit you in the face without warning. Marie’s tribal banshee yell was the funniest scene the entire season for a reason only that I understand.
Does the desire to be Supreme drive young witches to murder and go to the dark side? There’s a darkly comedic funeral next week, and I bet Misty is going to break free during that. It seems that everyone has changed their personality over night? I guess Kyle was under command to sit until Fiona snaps her fingers. What the hell happened to Queenie & Delphine? I’m curious to see more scenes with Papa Legba. Why is Fiona soulless? Is she more dangerous now because of that fact? Was Stevie in the house this whole time with all the craziness & killing?
Though I love Stevie’s integration into AHS and I wanted more of her actual presence, I won’t complain about how underused she was in this episode. But she graciously devoted time to delight us all, and she has. Stevie will be back again for the finale episode….. Let’s continue our ongoing AHS: Coven discussion, and please stalk me on twitter @Urethra_F