We return to the lovely dinner party Lisa has arranged with Brandi still screaming “Shut the Fuck Up!” Michael is asking her very politely to watch her language. Brandi tries to play the victim card saying she has no husband to speak up for her. Correct, Brandi and there is a reason for that. You have no idea how to behave in public. Brandi continues on telling Micheal and Joyce to shut the fuck up. Joyce says, she thought that Brandi just needed rehab, but that perhaps this is just who Brandi is. Brandi is highly offended by that simple observation. Joyce rattles off a list of Brandi’s offenses in return.
Brandi is out classed and drunk and unsure of how to proceed. Oh wait, it’s the poor pitiful Brandi card. That always works. Especially if tears are involved. She blurts out “I miss my puppy.” Oddly, she also throws out “I’m not lying! I am telling the truth!” in a way that makes no sense to the conversation unless something was edited. Lisa and Yolanda and Ken baby her as if none of her hideous behavior before ever happened. Because surely, if one is missing their dog, they have free reign to be as nasty as they want to be to others at a dinner party. Brandi leaves.
Yolanda tries make excuses for Brandi. Yolanda says Brandi put her best foot forward. Michael says, “well I might take issue with that, she put a foot forward.” Michael and Joyce both suggest that Brandi needs some advisement in the decorum department. No one can dispute this but they continue to attempt to be ride or die with Brandi at the table, but not in their talking heads.
Kim gets Kingsley back. Carlton and the nanny and her girls attempt to clean the girls playhouse which is covered in… crud.
Kyle and Joyce go to take a golf lesson. Joyce has her own clubs but neither actually know how to play. So instead, it’s a chance for Joyce and Kyle to catch up on what happened at Lisa’s dinner. At the same time Brandi and Yolanda rehash the same events. Yolanda TRIES to get through to Brandi that her behavior is unacceptable. Yolanda tells Brandi her behavior is not charming, and it’s embarrassing. Joyce tells Brandi that as soon as they sat down, Brandi said to Joyce that they have mutual friends and none of them have anything nice to say about you. Yolanda tells Brandi that she loses credibility when she acts the way she does. Brandi says she is not going to change who she is. Yolanda says she needs to change the way she communicates. Brandi once again has no place to go except for “I miss my dog. I am not myself right now.” Oh Brandi, you are totally yourself, and your self is not very attractive. Brandi takes no ownership for her bad behavior and definitely has no remorse.
Joyce has Brandi’s number. 1) viciously attack someone (2) Begin cursing like a sailor in response to everything the other person says. (3) Cry and play the victim. YES MAM. That is exactly right, Joyce, and up until you arrived, it has worked like a charm. And THAT is why she doesn’t like you. She is classless and ill-bred and lacks every decent quality that Joyce has in spades.
Carlton is getting a tattoo. Her husband goes with her for moral support. I am not warming up to Carlton. I am trying to keep an open mind. I suspect that she is not that intelligent and my American bias to British accents being tied to superior education is causing some major cognitive dissonance. Or else, I just don’t like her. I feel like my opinion could change, it just hasn’t. She is getting a pentagram on her neck. That seems like it would be a pretty painful place for a tat, and it’s pretty big. It actually looks nice as far as tattoos go.
Lisa and Ken go to Big Daddy’s Antiques to look for pieces for Pump. I would love to have that job.
Brandi is going to Kyle’s event with “her black friend.” Her friend tells her the black comment was inappropriate and should not have been said to someone she barely knows. All the models arrive with both Brandi and Joyce vowing to ignore each other. I guarantee you Brandi doesn’t have the self control not to say something rude before the event is over.
Kyle’s daughters don’t seem to want to model. Yep, Sophia just said she doesn’t want to do it. I have a feeling that the blind item floating around about a minor who does not want to be on a reality show, but is being forced to by her mother is Sophia. Poor girl.
Lisa looks a bit rattled coming in. She doesn’t wait for Ken. Fight in the car? It’s cool to see Lisa Rinna out and about! Love her and miss her on Days of Our Lives. Kyle and Mauricio donated $100K to the children’s hospital. How generous of them. See? Some good does come from these folks. Most of the outfits on the runway were quite sleek and sexy and not the usual “hippie chic” we are used to seeing from Kyle. Carlton likes Kyle better now that she knows she was in Halloween, though she denies this in her talking head.
Lisa asks Joyce to meet for a drink just the two of them later in the week. Joyce meets Lisa for tea at her house. Joyce comes right out and says that Lisa makes excuses for Brandi. Lisa denies it. The Puerto Rican can’t understand Lisa’s British accent. Lisa mispronounces chastise to the point that Joyce has no clue what she is saying. It’s kind of funny.