I already recapped the first ten minutes of this episode here. The predominant theme was, “who hasn’t fucked Chuck?” Oh and Mallory is back to stir up trouble for Peter and Cynthia as if they need more shit in their marriage. I’m taping seven hours worth of shows tonight. I am hoping to get through this recap, and the new Blood, Sweat & Heels, which sadly looks promising and then zoning out with JUAN CARLOS. I loves me some Juan Carlos. Don’t judge.
Kenya’s giant gold hoops look real from where I am sitting.
Okay, on with the new stuff. Porsha is shopping for dog crap she doesn’t need. Why do people feel the need to dress their dogs like they are actual children? Porsha is moving out from her mother’s house. Porsha gets her mama to pay the $43 for dog clothes, and for some reason places a couple folded benjamins on the counter as if to say, “See? I can afford this forty-three dollar dog dress.”
Mama Joyce and Kandi meet at Derek J’s Salon, The J Spot. Mama Joyce said Kandi put a dagger in her heart by choosing somebody over her. Mama Joyce says she has done too much for Kandi for too long. Um WTF? I think she has that backwards. Mama Joyce says she went to the doctor and for her own personal health she can’t keep this stress up because whatever little bit of life she has left is hers. Then she says to Derek J, “If you see your child walking in front of a semi-truck, what would you do?” So much for not keeping up the drama, Mama.
Phaedra, Nene and Chuck are driving to Athens to talk to the Athens Boys and Girls Club. They reminisce about growing up in Athens. Nene says she worked a The Sizzler on Baxter Street. Wait, when was there ever a Sizzler on Baxter Street? Phaedra says she worked at Kroger, The Taco Viva….but she would always get fired for not wearing the uniform. They stop at the Dairy Queen to continue reminiscing. Nene seems to suddenly remember going to school with Nene.
Porsha has rented a giant McMansion. Because every single girl needs thousands of square feet to clean. I suspect it’s Rental By Bravo. Jesus, it is 8,000 square feet. Why? This girl can’t afford all this and even if she could, why pay the electric bill and upkeep on a house four times what you need? I don’t get it. That said, it is beautiful. Sounds like it is in St Marlo Country Club. Her brother and mother actually do question the financial sense of her living there. She says she understands that the financial support from Kordell may be ending (um, you think?) but this move is getting her back to “where she was.” What a foolish woman she is.
Cynthia is showing Mallory around Industry Studios. It’s beautiful and in a part of town where she can probably afford the rent. She shows Mallory around and comes to a room with a white Mercedes and says this is Peter’s new car he just got. She mentions she did not know he was buying it. However, I could swear we already saw this car in a scene with Apollo and Peter where they both had white Mercedes. Am I making that up?
Mallory informs Peter that she is moving in for a few months. Peter is not happy that he was not consulted. Cynthia says she didn’t know until just today. Mallory says she heard he bought a car without discussing it with Cynthia. He tells Mal that has nothing to do with her. He tells Cynthia, these type of things need to be discussed between the two of them.
I love how they show all these pictures of downtown Atlanta and then cut to Duluth like it’s just right there by the Aquarium. Duluth, where Porsha apparently lives now, is WAY, WAY, WAY, OTP. Porsha is claiming that Kordell doesn’t want the divorce. Bullshit. When your divorce is covered in the media, it’s stupid to try to change the script on the show. Just be real for fucks sake.
Back to Chuck and Nene and Phaedra they are at the Boys and Girls Club. Nene is tearing up the basketball court with spike heels. They are doing more damage than they are helping. Why does Phaedra act like Athens is a small little hillbilly town. The speak to like, two dozen people for three seconds each. On the way home, Chuck says that when Mo got home from Savannah, she was mad at him because Phaedra said she was Chuck’s girlfriend. Chuck is very offensive. He is saying that Phaedra and Kandi were all part of the team. That he and Phaedra were the original friends with benefits. What a peach this mother fucker is. Wow, Chuck says he just lied to Kandi to get a piece. Way to make yourself look bad on TV, Chuck.
Mal is already causing tension between Cynthia and Peter. Unless the rest of y’all I think Peter is very attractive. Much more attractive than Leon who seems so thin he may be ill. Clearly, I have a unique subset of men I find attractive. That said, he is an asshole.
Next week: Phaedra tells Kandi what Chuck said about them. Phaedra says essentially that Chuck has a “cocktail weenie.” Kenya’s FATHER shows up. I cannot wait for that. Mallory, Peter and Cynthia fight, Porsha and Nene fight. In other words, it looks…..GOOOOOOD.