There once was a Urethra Franklin
Whose teasers to AHS: Coven were Danklin,
Then he went on hiatus,
We all worried he’d hate us
And we’d be forever left hanglin.
AND THEN HE CAME BACK!
Right? I mean he is coming back! /cries
his last tweet was Christmas day!!! /hold me!
Filed under American Horror Story :Coven
Tagged as AHS, American Horror Story, American Horror Story:Coven, News Archive, Urethra, Urethra Franklin
He must return!! I didn’t read his AHS recaps but his other stuff was a must read!
Like the Queen of Soul, the Queen of recaps wants some r.e.s.p.e.c.t so please edit the misspelling of my name/link up above. It’s URETHRA.
I’m sick as fuck. The pharmacy has been my best friend this week. If I drink any more Nyquil, I will start sporting excessive gold jewelry, diamond teeth grills, and dreads, and I will only answer to the name Lil Wayne. Sizzurp is da BOMB.
I rarely get sick with colds/flu. This is not fun. I’d rather be chained to TT’s radiator eating scraps of Banjo’s organic food. Plus side is I lost a couple of pounds due to I can’t taste anything. Good night.
I hope you beat that crap soon!
Mix that NyQuil up with some purple drank if you gonna get all gangster up in here!
Being sick sucks. Being sick during the holidays really really sucks,
Get well soon.
Hope you feel better soon!
I’m so sorry to hear that Urethra! Get better soon. I have only a light cold and I’m going to be downing Hot Toddies until I pass out.
Damn! Feel better soon!!
Do lots of sleeping and lolling about. Rest is the cure, but hot teat with honey, whiskey and lemon doesn’t hoit
ok that error is hysterical – I just spit my coffee out – “hot teat” LOLOLOLOL. I know one thing, I wouldn’t stick my nipple in boiling water for anyone!!!! Happy Holidays – thanks for making my, and so early in the morning too!!
That’s what I get for hitting Post too soon. That should read “thanks for making my day”
I don’t think UF likes teat.
Get better fucker!!! Love your stuff.
I hope you feel better soon Urethra!
Just a reminder, WE DON’T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE!
Awww Feel better soon luv! Did you hear Stevie Nicks officiated at a wedding ceremony this past week? “I would cry! La la lalalalala….”
Thanks for all the well wishes. It warms my ice cold heart. I miss #AHSCoven so much. I’ve rewatched all 9 episodes while in bed.
Share what your favorite episode is?
Share what your favorite line is?
Share what your favorite scene is?
Share who is your favorite witch bitch?
Share who you wish would just die for real.
Favourite ep- The Replacements
Favourite line- “Liiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss!” and “in another century you could have TWO shithole salons”
Favourite scene- naked Kyle in The Axeman Cometh
Favourite witch- Nan
Who should die- I would say Queenie (she’s boring) but now Kyle if we find out he killed the dog on purpose. Not cool.
UF sounds like you are feeling a little better..good! Now my favorite line is a tossup between Fiona *Im Fiona Goode and im in charge Everywhere* and Marie *she messed with the wrong witcchh* cant spell her delivery but both are faves
Reminds me too of Fiona’s “Who’s the baddest witch in town?” before she set off for Halloween (or did she say ‘bitch’? – no matter either fine and true!!)
‘When I bury some white ass cracker bitch, I expect her to stay buried, not pop up like some goddamn ragweed’ >Marie (more or less)
*Myrtle*: *[before being burned at the stake]* You’re all toads in a pot which Fiona is slowly bringing to the boil. By the time you notice, it will already be too late. I’d rather burn than boil.
I like anything that Witch in Wang says!
Queenie: Madison Montgomery is a stone-cold bitch who loves hard drinking, big dicks and trouble. If she’s dead, it’s probably ’cause she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job or something.
Oh, I loved that one, and Quentin’s reaction. Also enjoyed his, “yeeeewwww are a cawwwtion.”
Marie: You could offer me a unicorn that shit hundred dollar bills and I’d still never give you nothing more then a headache.
Favorite Episode: The Replacements
Favorite Line: Any sentence where Marie Laveau hissess wittccchhhhh.
Favorite Scene: In Ep 2, Fiona & Marie at Cornrow City
Favorite Witch: Fiona, Marie, & Myrtle. I watched AHSCoven because of Fiona, stayed because of Marie, & became enchanted with Myrtle along the way.
Who should die for real: Franken-Kyle & Zoe. He strangles her to death as she fucks him to death.
FrankenDog might become more palatable now that he can speak and more or less socialized by Fiona. I’m giving him a chance to redeem his presence.
Don’t think Zoe can fuck him to death since she’s ménage a troi’d him w/ Madison and he’s still here:)
Clearly UF hates the straights.
I woke up so I can finish off the bottle of sizzurp, and read this. Huh? I don’t hate straights or their story lines. I just don’t enjoy Kyle or Zoe in any capacity… OK my Nyquil is kickin’ in… G’nite.
Please pass the sizzurp. And I am just poking at you while you are down.
Honorable mentions for best scene:
Fiona snorting coke listening to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.
Fiona: This coven doesn’t need a new Supreme. It needs a new rug.
Any scene with Marie on her bone throne.
Burning Myrtle and that damn good song by Dr. John.
Myrtle stealing Fiona’s jewelry.
Hey you, AHSCoven recapper extraordinaire…..agree with all your personal choices. I don’t have DVR, don’t know the episode names, and too lazy to re-read my immediate comments or to research. Worse my memory sucks, but Marie and the cracker white bitch burying I’ve not forgotten. I might do that this final day of 2013.
In any event, I wish you the best 2014, that you get better real soon, and can’t wait for your recaps next year that cause me to refresh TT’s page the next day every 15 minutes….smooch:))
Oh sure EVERYONE WANTS TO URETHRA to get better. URETHRA! URETHRA!URETHRA!
Ok, TT that made me literally LOL, and I haven’t done that in ages. URETHRA is a down low (I mean DL in complement sense), cult celeb……and it’s ALL BECAUSE OF YOU (maybe)?
You too great recaps of a shitload of shows I watch. You’re 2014 I also wish great and smooch (in spite of Joyce:)))!!!!!
And that’s no kiss ass compliment ‘cuz hell I don’t comment anywhere else!
Aw…. come here and get a big ole Mongolian Lung Flu germ infested kiss from me! Happy New Year!
In the spirit of the New Year because of you’re complimentary and attraction for the mini-me Arnold Schwarzenagger (aka Mr. Joyce), a big ol’ Austrian flu-free smooch!
Do not disrespect my man. I can’t believe you don’t think he is hot.
What planet do you live on? (j/k….had to use his words)….but nah, not attracted to him physical sense only seems short (I’m 6’1) and a little too much beef on him. But that could be 100% because of my not so great vibe I get from his wife. In another setting or planet, who knows?
Favorite line: “(chuckles), come on, Mary Todd Lincoln.” the expression on Fiona’s face as she’s looking LaLaurie up and down is just priceless.
I also liked Fiona’s line– “I couldn’t toast a piece of bread with the heat they
were puttin’ on you.”
Favorite witch: myself. But for the show, Fiona. She’s just the shit and I love her.
One more Fiona line: “I’m looking less Samantha and more Endora
I don’t care for Zoe, boring, or Kyle the dog killer either.
I can’t help it. Once you hurt an animal, doesn’t matter that I fully
understand that I am watching fiction, fantasy, whatever– you kill dog,
I kill you. It’s silly, but that’s the way I am. Goofy. I liked Kyle, but once he did that, well, they just can’t kill him off quick enough.
Get well UF.
I’ve got to agree with you on the pup thing….I’m also very very intolerant of hurting/killing dogs even though it’s pretend, no matter if I see it or it’s implied, hurting a doggy upsets me to no end. Although we all know Evan Tate is the actor playing Kyle…..that did put a bad taste in my mouth for the character himself!
I agree with you, Kaleesi. I was so into Kyle (SO INTO HIM) but that scene killed the ladyboner but good. Thanks, Ryan Murphy. Jerk. I didn’t think there was any way they good make EP not hot but for me, they’ve done that now.
I hope Evan Peters gets a better role next season. He’s so good and has done a lot with the sparse material he’s been given but the role is nothing on S1 or 2.
Hey UF I feel worse today than I have so far. UGH. You feeling any better? I am out of sizzurp for real and need to go back to pharmacy for SOMETHING THAT WORKS ! I hope you are coming out of the sickness woods. I seem to be wandering in deeper and deeper.
On Thu, Jan 2, 2014 at 2:03 AM, Tamara Tattles
Though my head congestion has eased up I am still coughing a lot.
I finished off my 2nd bottle of sizzurp last night. I DRANK 2 bottles in 7 days, and I think that exceeds recommended dosage. So I’m putting away the gold “jewry” and going back to being UF instead of Lil Wayne. For now.
Thank you all for the get well wishes, and for keeping the enthusiasm for next weeks AHSCoven. In case you all haven’t heard Stevie is coming to the Coven.
Well, another Wed. night and NO AHSCoven and no pre or re cap. And miserably, my damn cable Cox’s Primetime on the fritz & won’t play any of the stored episodes (which is force-fed me in a package costing $140+ in fees).
If I had the $$ & power that the creators and FX have and I had a great thing going and zillions of fans, I wouldn’t take 3 goddamn weeks off in the middle of my story! WTH do they do that to us sheeple?
~ In memorium for UF (and in recognition this has given him the chance to heal:(
And of course Happy New Year to all!!