Two Shahs in one week is two too many, so I sort of had to space these shows out. But today, I’m feeling up to the task so it’s finally time to watch Tuesday’s show. In the reminder of what has happened previously, MJ is saying that Leila Gharachedaghi, GG’s sister is everything that GG is not. She uses level-headed as an example as if this is a trait she seeks out in her friends. Ummmmmm…. Mike sorta fits that description. The rest not so much. Is she trying new things? I think it is more than likely they are setting up GG’s storyline for the season because GG was running around town going batshit while all this was filming. She tried to get back in a club to beat down some girl who hit Leila in the face in a bar (thought Leila seemed pretty unfazed) and her then “boyfriend” Sean Sette got a restraining order on her after he broke up with her and he told the judge is was afraid of her and her scary knife collection. He also claimed she was damaging his reputation by telling people he was gay and putting his personal phone number and address on social media. So um, GG had a bad summer.
Anyway, back to the show. Oh ! My DVR was paused at the gay bar where Reza lost his shit last episode. The name of the bar is ironically called… MJ’s. lol. The more you know #rainbow MJ is starting a business. Now before we all start laughing, I have to tell you she is trying to fill a MUCH needed niche in the market. Once of the things that all these young women fail to take into consideration when they dash out to buy ginormous boobs is that they will no longer be able to fit in clothes anymore. And you will be paying several HUNDRED dollars per bra if you want one in your size that is not a Playtex 18 Hour Bra. Wait, she may not be starting a business. She may just be having some shapewear custom made for her. She also thinks she has a “tiny waist that is not being cinched properly.” Please don’t make me mention all the swimsuit pics of you on TMZ, MJ, you know I love you, but you do not have a tiny waist, beloved. Someone really does need to make shapewear for the fatass masses. Um, so I heard.
Jessica is converting to Judaism for Mike. Which is lovely. But you need him to put a ring on it first, dear. A big ass ring worthy of a young Jewish woman.
GG and Leila go to get their nails done as garishly as possible. GG is jealous of Leila’s relationship with GG. She does have a point. First she causes problems with GG and her boyfriend, then she tries to buddy up to Leila.
Reza and Adam are going to have a housewarming party and Adam wants to invite Sasha. heh. Reza asked if he has been talking to Sasha and he said yes and that Sasha thinks Reza was a real jerk to him. Which is similar to saying that water is slightly damp. Reza supposedly just got up and the two are having breakfast. Reza’s feet are filthy black. WTF? He went to bed with his man all nasty filthy? Adam asks Reza when he thinks he will apologize. Reza says he knows Adam deserves and apology but that does not mean they need to be homies.
Golnessa is now apparently besties with Sasha. I am now questioning everything I believe to be true about Sasha. I’ve been to his Facebook page and it is all family and friends and poetry and sunshine and rainbows and gratitude. Please don’t ruin Sasha, Bravo. He seems like such a lovely young man. GG tells Sasha the Shahs back story with an emPHAHsis on MJ and Reza’s true colors. GG says she has always wanted a gay best friend. She really does need one. Hell, everyone needs at LEAST one. I recommend as many as possible. I love her haircut. No extensions!
Y’all didn’t really think I was going to recap a dog party did you? I will say that my dog is a Sharpei mix, big, a bit wrinkly but still adorable looking and mostly pretty laid back unless you piss him off. If you come into his territory or piss him off in anyway, he will eat your face off. So um, I agree with GG no truth to that whole people pick dogs like them theory. Nothing to see here. Move along.
WAIT. Did I just hear Reza “LOOK AT ME! I AM SO GAY! I AM WEARING A JACKET MADE FROM THE CARPET FROM THE SHINING!” Farahan explain to his therapist that he doesn’t like Sasha because Sasha is flamboyant and that makes him embarrassed to be gay? OMG. I am going to need all the gays that watch this show to chime in and tell me they are still alive and that their heads did not explode and that they did not throw something at their TVs and break them. Do I need to set up another donate button for new TVs for gays across America?
OH MY GOD IT JUST KEEPS GETTING MORE INSANE. Now in his talking heads, Reza is talking about maintaining a certain level of dignity because of who they are and how they were raised. He cannot be serious. I wish he was doing that talking head in his jacket from The Shining. It would only make it that much more hilariously aggravating. On a scale from 1 to Reza, Sasha was very conservatively dressed both times Reza saw him. Now he says he is full of compassion for poor, Sasha. No one is buying this bullshit, Reza.
Reza and MJ and Asa go out to a club and practically have a three-way on the sofa in public. Meanwhile, GG just so happens to come into the same bar (full disclosure, I don’t think GG knew they would be there, just that was where she was supposed to film with her friends. Production tells Reza and MJ and Asa to be all affectionate and lovey dovey. This will be all it takes for GG to go awf.) to witness the virtual orgy between Reza, MJ and Asa. To be fair, GG has a right to be pissed at all three of them. They are all drunk. Well, not Asa. But the rest are. GG and MJ are plastered. Sean arrives mid battle. Asa is trying to keep Reza out of the middle of things, but Reza seems to think he needs to walk in to support MJ. Asa wisely stays a fair distance away lest she get hit by any shrapnel. Ooops spoke to soon. Asa wanders in to mediate as well. MJ gives SEAN (not GG) a weird apology saying she just said what she said as a joke to defuse the situation of Sean staring at some other girls ass. Sean look HOT by the way. How am I just noticing how built that boy is. I totally see why GG went on a knife rampage (allegedly) when she lost that. MJ tells GG their friendship is over. Both are slurring their words. Asa herds both MJ and Reza out of there and tells MJ she doesn’t mean what she is saying.
I know for sure we don’t believe anything any of them are saying at this point.