Seriously? I feel like the person who has to report to Burger King on a holiday. How much longer are we going to watch this shit? Can’t we just talk about The Blacklist and AHS:Coven and Scandal and Revenge and ….. just better TV? But here we go, because Bravo has you all so sucked in that you cannot, will not, venture out.
Mike and Reza go to some hairloss facility to try and keep Mike from going bald. Because Persians are know the world over for being practically hairless. Much like Armenians. Clearly this is a moment of crisis. Next the dermatologist comes in to explain Mike has flaky ears. SIGH. Both are Iranian doctors. No infomercial here at all.
MJ and her mother Vita attempt an outing to learn how to play golf. MJ is chugging PBR while on the golf cart. MJ is wearing the wrong bra. Mama Vita is driving. MJ is trying not to spill her PBR. MJ is sort of impressed with MJ’s golf skills
Meanwhile, back at the Diamond Water plant (which if you follow me on twitter, you know is a real thing you can buy online.) Asa says Inshallah weirdly. At least for Libyan Arabic. I guess it is the Farsi pronunciation. Makes sense differnent languages pronounce things differently. Reza has
lied said the reason he identifies as Persian and not Iranian is because “most Americans are too stupid to pronounce it correctly.” Like we don’t say Meh Hee Co instead of Mexico? Or Paree rather than Paris? Shut up Reza. You don’t even CLAIM your homeland but we will have some touching scene about your trying to get back in to Iran soon enough. I have personally, in the past when we were still tweeting ask Reza about Iranian politics and he has no fucking clue and seemed offended saying his is American. Altrighty then.
Oh Look someone to put Reza in his place. Let’s watch. Adam has brought over an Iranian gay neighbor to his place with Reza. He is already pissed and about to be moreso. Reza is like, so did you just get here from Iran ( shouldn’t he have said PERSIA? lol) as if being straight off the boat would be a bad thing. He is living in the same condo you are Reza after five years here. Reza is mocking his English which is actually flawless. Reza asks if his family are Muslim extremists. What fucking shitty thing to ask. And Hot Muslim Iranian says, “That is why you should know a little bit more about your country!” Reza knows NOTHING about his country. NOTHING. NOT ONE THING. COULD NOT FIND IT ON A MAP! I swear to you. All he knows is he has cufflinks from some actual Shah or the other. My tweeps know that I RT political things from time to time about that part of the world. My Tweeps are not all Bravo followers. I have many others that talk with me about real issues. Reza is CLUELESS about everything. I thought early on I might have a new friend to talk to about the middle east. He does not even want the RTs. Because “HE IS AMERICAN NOW.” Yep and a clueless asshole like most of America.
OMG. Reza now wants to claim Iran his homeland? really? Reza HATES Iran and is likely blacklisted from ever visiting. So why is he going after this guy WHOSE FAMILY STAYED AND WENT THROUGH ALL THE DRAMA? Wait what? This dude is GAYER than REZA? I’m not sure Elton John is gayer than Reza. HAS HE SEEN HIMSELF? Then he calls him FOB? Fresh off the boat? REALLY? Oh Reza just shut up. You don’t get to claim you are Iranian one minute and then do the American insult of FOB. SHUT YOUR ENORMOUS PIE HOLE!
Adam tries to apologize for Reza. Get used to it. You will be doing it a lot.
I would like to peace out on this recap now. But I will try to move forward. I’m horrified by Reza’s shittery, He needs to be fucking deported to Iran, but they wont take him. This is SO NOT HOW I WANT IRANIANS PORTRAYED IN THIS COUNTRY. dammit!
I hate this show and the way they portray Iranians. First, because the hide their culture with the Persian crap. I am so sorry for ever suggesting you watch this. I promise Iranians are not like this and I can’t believe they sold their sole for TV. I am sorry.
This shit is unbearable tonight. Worst show ever! I will no longer recap this disgrace to my country. NOT YOUR COUNTRY.
Reza. When I travel, I try to respect the culture. For example, in France you say Bonjour Madame/Monsieur when entering a boutique. His complete disrespect of culture annoys the fuck out of me. HE IS NOT IN HIS COUNTRY. He is a guest here. His constant comments about “white people” is offensive as shit. Strange he does not say it about our other majority “black people” or he would be in bigger trouble.
There was some scene with Lilly but I peed and let the dog out. And in, And still fast forwarded it. Sorry. It appears we are at some gay Iranian party. It is not meeting Reza’s expectations. They ask the asshole be on a Gay Iranian Float during Gay Pride. Mike says he will do it. Reza seems above it. Sasha the gaybor to Reza is there. Oh yay, go in on him again.
I am IRATE with MJ and REZA for calling someone FOB for one thing. I am just done. YOU ARE ALL FOB to us. Immigrants! That is sort of what this country is about you fucktards. Be happy we let your happy asses in and stop mocking others who do the same!’
Um there was more here. But it got lost. Just know that the cast off Shahs doesn’t represent the Iranian people. Iranians are not like this. I apologize for ever following this show.