Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Poop And Circumstance

David and Yolanda

Oh um, hi. Sorry. I was totally mesmerized by Yolanda Foster’s home and infinity pool. I totally had to sit there and gawk at the view. Yolanda’s brother and mother have flown in from Holland for the reveal of David Foster’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

The editing on RHOBH makes recapping a PITA. You get a tiny little clip of nothing from Brandi, and a tiny little clip of nothing from Kyle….  Basically, everyone has dogs and everyone is discussing whether or not Mauricio is a dog.  Well, everyone except Carlton.  Carlton is a witch, so she has a black cat, who she is taking in for acupuncture treatments.

Kyle and Joyce go to get weirdo Beverly Hills facials. Joyce wants to take everyone to Palm Springs but she is a bit wary of Lisa.

RHOBHkimoopsgifKim’s daughter is graduating so they go shopping for a graduation dress.  Kim’s daughter already has a dress she likes but Kim is nixing it for being too small. Kim is trying to dress her daughter in grandma dresses. Poor thing.

Pandora’s husband is taking a job in NYC. The Vanderpump is displeased.  Ken says to the son-in-law “You are really going to miss Pandy if you live in NYC!”  The dual theme tonight appears to be dog poop and babies leaving the nest.

Kim’s daughter wears a cute dress to graduation. I wonder if it was her original choice.?

David Foster’s  star ceremony is chockfull of celebrities. He is good friends with Natalie Cole and there stars will be side by side!  Kenny G is there!  Stevie Wonder is there! Baby Face is there! Dr Phil is there! It was really pretty darn cool.

We should talk about the chandelier that Kyle tore up to make a necklace for her talking head, but that would be impolite,

Kathy Hilton walks in to Kim’s house in a leopard print get up you might expect to see on Teresa Giudice and immediately criticizes Kim’s outfit. None of these three sisters have any fashion sense whatsoever.  Oh! Kathy’s leopard print is an oversized top which she appears to be wearing over some acid-washed mom jeans. I am not quite sure  how to describe what Kyle is wearing… maybe Haute Hipster? And Kim changes clothes and both of her outfits were better than either of her sisters.

Lisa made out with Carlton the other day. Apparently, off camera. Lisa and Brandi do not like Joyce. Next week? Road trip to Palm Springs.

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33 Comments

Filed under Brandi Glanville, Carlton Gebbia, David Foster, Joyce Giraud, Joyce Giraud de Ohoven, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Mauricio Umansky, Mohamed Hadid, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH, Yolanda Foster

33 responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Poop And Circumstance

  1. This episode was BOOOOORRRINNNGG…….

    Not really more I need to say

  2. Xanadude

    I am not a fan of the Sisters Richards, but i have to say Kim tonight came across as genuine and vulnerable. Her scenes with her daughter were actually touching.

  3. Bombero129

    My friend was organizing the event that Lisa Vanderpump attended in Miami this weekend and she says that Lisa was sweet but the real diva was pandora who apparently was insufferable.

  4. Katherine

    David Foster the music legend is finally getting a Hollywood star & kanye truly thinks kim deserves one? Oh and Paul McCartney hadn’t gotten his yet (has by now) when the episode was filmed. That’s reason enough right there Kanye. God.

  5. Gingersnap

    It was actually surprising that Lisa didn’t have more to say when Ken was talking about Mauricio’s fidelity. He flat out said he didn’t believe it. Lisa hemmed and hawed around with this “who can know FOR SURE what anyone else is REALLY doing” line. Which I basically agree with. You see what people show you. Period. Ken though, said a friend stands up for a friend. Methinks Lisa felt a wee bit shitty.

    Brandi had to shake her bony ass on David’s beautiful star. She reminded me of a gawky 15 year old. She lacks confidence when hobnobbing with the Hollywood Elite. When Brandi was trying on bathing suits, she had a good size bruise on her ass. It was big enough that I noticed anyway…course her bony ass was in my face again.

    Loved the Kyle necklace comment, TT! Very funny and so true…that sucker looks like it weighs a ton too.

    • your so right about Brandi being out of place when she is around Hollywood elite. She does not know how to act in a tasteful manner. I did see that bruise on her skinny ass, most likely some rough sex.

      • Gingersnap

        “rough sex”…heehee…every time I saw Brandi when she had band aids on her knees, all I could think was CARPET BURNS!!!

  6. Where were they dress shopping? Don’t Kyle and Kathy both have boutiques?

    • Gingersnap

      To be honest with you,teecee, I don’t remember where Brandi and Lisa were shopping at, and I think Kathy has a boutique, and of course, we know Kyle does (boy, do we know Kyle does). I think I remember Kim getting clothes for her kids from Kathy’s stash, which made me think she has a store too. Although now, I’m not 100% sure. Shit.

      • I meant Kim and her daughter. Lisa and Brandi were obvs at Frederick’s or Whores R Us. Pretend the R is backwards, naked and has a bruise on its ass.

  7. I recall when Yolanda was introduced to the wives, Bravo showed her home, OMG it covers an entire hill side.

  8. JrLeaguer

    I am in lust with Yolanda’s fridge…it has it’s own Twitter. I remember reading years ago, that if you are in the arts, have sponsors and pay the fee that you can be awarded a star.They award a certain number per year. Putting that to aside, David is crazy talented and deserving of one.
    I have decided that Joyce makes a perfectly lovely doorstop.
    Kim was touching while speaking so proudly of her kids. She is a hot mess most of the time…but she loves her kids to the moon and back. When Kathy Hilton started criticizing Kim’s dresses (which I liked), Kim should have said, “At least my daughter is not famous for a sex tape!”
    Could have done without seeing Brandi’s bruised tushie… Maybe Carlton smacked her ass with a crucifix.

  9. Why can’t any of these women house train a dog? Disgusting!
    kh

    • Gingersnap

      Or at least hire someone to do it. Jeeze. It’s not the dog’s fault it has stupid human parents.

      • When I got Banjo, they said he was not housebroken. But he was. He just had to teach me his cues… It took me a STUPID amount of time to figure out why he would sit by the door! Shutup! He’s my first dog! lol.

        On Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 7:15 PM, Tamara Tattles

      • JrLeaguer

        Bravo does seem to love a pet defecation camera shot. We used a product called “Poochie Bells” to train our crew. If hard headed bulldogs can be taught…then any dog can.

    • Vivaladiva

      It’s hard for Brandi to train her dogs when she is busy either out partying or at home sleeping off a hangover.

  10. Kyle looked like a straight-up hooker in some of her talking heads. It was jarring.

  11. Do they really need to show Brandi clean up dog crap? Isn’t there anything more interesting going on in that woman’s life?

  12. Undine

    Ugh. I’m totally done with Brandi. Her claim to fame is she was a wronged wife, but she makes out with a married woman? That whole “I’m a straight girl who plays around with girls” routine is so tacky. It’s on the same level as straight bachelorettes throwing parties at gay bars. It’s obnoxious and reeks of straight privilege. And then I hear she is throwing Lisa under the bus. As some commenter said, Brandi says she just tells the unfiltered truth and but now claims Lisa controls what Brandi says. It’s one or the other, dummy. Either you’re a free spirited, straight talking girl’s girl or Lisa’s puppet –you can’t be both.

    • Gingersnap

      “straight privilege”…this is a new one for me and so I’m trying to understand. I’m straight, so I’m wondering if I’m missing out on this “privilege” part. Which sounds good to me. I want to be privileged somehow because being a white, straight, southern, single, female hasn’t really gotten me too far in the privileged area. Are all straight people privileged or just some straight people? Does it matter what race you are? or what sex? hair color? eye color? height? Please tell, I deserve to be privileged, and if the criteria is being “straight”, then by God I fill the bill ;)

      In my experience, gay guys love to hang out with straight girls. It’s the best of both worlds.

      • Undine

        Oh for me to attempt to explain it would be tldr, google heteronormativity or straight or heterosexual privilege and there are plenty folks out there who can ‘splain it better than I ever could. My point is Brandi has the privilege to giggle and teehee about her sexuality “I love girls!” and “aren’t I cute and hot?” and then drop the pretense when she’s done being “outrageous”.

    • Hard up women have a tendency to pretend to be into other women because it makes men horny. I loathe that act. It’s so desperate and lacking in self esteem. Which sums up Brandi’s whole life.

  13. Belinda

    Kim is just an idiot without a personality, right ? It’s no more complicated than that !

  14. If these women can’t control their pets, they’ve got to be horrendous mothers. Carlton….no words. That cat was FINE. She’s got Munchausens by Pussy

  15. Vivaladiva

    What has happened to Kathy Hilton’s face? She has had so much injected into it it was as bloated as a Macy’s parade float. And how nice of her to stand outside the door screaming “these flowers are HEAVY!” I guess she forgot Kyle does not have a butler to answer the door.

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