Kandi Burruss Speaks Out About Her Mama Drama

The Kandi Factory Premieres; Kim Zolciak Snubs It

 

Kandi has posted her blog on last night’s episode.  She has tended to blog only sometimes and mostly very briefly on Bravo, but I think she really wanted to stop the influx of tweets about how she needs to stand up to her mother. What do y’all think? Is it too late for Kandi to take a stand with her mother at this point?

Well tonight’s episode was a little hard to watch. So many of you tweet about how you think I should with my mom. I love my mom, and I will always give her the utmost respect. I know she can be a little tough, but I believe she really does want the best for me even if I don’t like the way she goes about it. I’ve told her a million times that I’m not getting married without a pre-nup. Todd and I already agreed that we were doing one, but I don’t know why she feels like she has to be the one he negotiates it with. Todd did his best to not be disrespectful to my mom no matter what she said to him, which I’m thankful for, but he is more than a little tired of the drama though… 

Everyone says stand up to your mama and blah, blah, blah, but believe it or not I do speak my mind to my mother. I just don’t say it in some crazy disrespectful way, because she is my mother. So to everyone who is screaming at me through the TV screen to “do something about my mom,” I’m not sure exactly what you expect me to do. I can only say how I feel, and if she doesn’t listen to me, then what? I don’t agree with my friend Carmon on how she said she would handle it if it were her mom. I don’t believe in cutting off your relationship with your mom. So for now I’m just hoping that over time things will work out for the best.

Much love,

Kandi

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41 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Kandi Burruss, Real Housewives of Atlanta, RHOA, Todd Tucker

41 responses to “Kandi Burruss Speaks Out About Her Mama Drama

  1. You can stand up for yourself/your man and still be respectful. From what I’ve read Kandi is just straddling the fence hoping Mama Joyce comes around. Which really, is disrespectful to Todd/their relationship. You don’t have to cut her off/out completely (and how could she if MJ is living in the guest house) but you don’t have to put up with the treatment either.

    • Thankfully, she is living in Kandi’s old house, not the guest house. :)

      On Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 2:55 PM, Tamara Tattles

      • Twilly

        I wonder who made that decision. I remember Kandi saying something on a recent episode how they couldn’t find a house that Mama Joyce found acceptable. I wonder what happened to her living in the guest house. Or was that never definite and just discussed?

      • James

        @twilly

        Kandi’s mother was the (only) one that had the idea for her to move into the guest house. From the very first time she mentioned it last season Kandi was like “I don’t think so”

      • Lodak

        I love how people watch staged reality shows, and think they know the real tea.

      • Nick

        I am just realizing all of you people who say cut your mom off or out of your life.. must have really really bad relationships with their mothers. This is a woman who raised her and put food in her mouth, clothed her, nursed her through illnesses as a single parent. Have some respect. Don’t you think Kandi sees this??

        When you are not bashing her for being divorced you are bashing her for coming for these losers. Todd does not have a good job and is living off her daughter and her granddaughter’s money. A.J. had 7 baby’s momma’s AJ was known for hustling women out of cash evidently. And apparently AJ dated Kandi’s band mate and friend Tiny… Kandi dated him after it seems. Kandi was known for financially supporting AJ.

        She is now financially producing Todd latest producing endeavors. Make it stop.. The guys she picks are all scumy. What till it comes out wait and see Joyce will be right about the cheating rumors too I bet donuts to dollars. She sees and hears what the public doesn’t see and hear.

        So now you know WHY Kandi’s mom is so furious. Man Kandi get it together. Make him sign a no profit pre-nup… and get on with it.

    • @Lodak – I don’t know who your comment was directed at and can only speak for myself when I say, I don’t claim to know anything other than what is portrayed on a show or written by the awesome TT. I do know that most here agree that what we see isn’t “real” but we are here to comment on what we see.

  2. If she doesn’t check her mother soon, she will be single forever. I don’t think Todd is an opportunist or an idiot either. She will lose a good man.

  3. Katrina

    Kandi is not going to cut her mother off. Mama Joyce has been Kandi’s support system and she has been assisting Kandi in raising Reiley. I don’t agree how Mama Joyce is handling the situation, but it appears this is the way she has always handled it. I don’t think Kandi and Todd should have moved in together. I really think Kandi is very comfortable with the living arrangement and she doesn’t see any urgency in getting married.

  4. Sorry, but Kandi does need to cut Momma out if her life until the time Momma agrees to speak with respect to Todd, keep her negative opinions to herself around Riley and acknowledge Kandi is intelligent enough to know what she wants and respect Kandi’s choices.
    Until she sets boundaries with her Mom, she is choosing mommy over Todd.
    Mommy has little respect for her daughter. It’s hard as a Mom to move into adult/friend role. Sorry but I don’t like Kandi’s Mom.
    Kandi’s Mom is using their close bond as emotional blackmail.

  5. ChrisG

    While I understand treating your mother with respect and discussing things with her instead of “cutting her off” or having a big dramatic fight, I believe that once a child is an adult, fully supporting themselves, a parent must also show them respect. I do not like the way Mama Joyce is speaking to Kandi or Todd and it is making her appear to be looking out for her own financial support and not her daughter’s emotional well-being. Then again, she could just be vying for camera time.

  6. Kevin

    I think some people (Kandi included) involve their parents, friends, and other loved ones in their business too much, period. I wish Kandi nothing but the best, but if she wants to be loved she will have to make a sacrifice.

  7. Susan

    Mama Joyce , I believe is afraid of loosing all of Kandis attention. She may be afraid of loosing Kandis support financially and loosing her control over Kandi. Seems like mama has a great deal of control over her daughter. Kandi needs to tell her mom that things will always be good with the two of them but she absolutely need to tell her mom to BACK off of her attitude toward Todd. That is who Kandi picked to spend the rest of her life with, and not up to mama to make that choice for Kandi. If Kandi doesn’t do something NOW it could get to the point of no return. What is Kandi going to do when mama gos to heaven. She will be alone and wish so very much that she had made a stand to stay with Todd. Mama need to be quiet and not chase Todd away, and that is what is going to happen if something isn’t done about that mouth on mama.

  8. Katrina

    Kandi and AJ were engaged. Mama Joyce ran him off too. Yes, he did have a lot of children by different mothers, but Kandi wanted to marry him. The only differece is most people like Todd as a person. Mama Joyce was exactly the same way and she won. If Mama Joyce was afraid of loosing financial suppport, she would stay under the radar. In order to fix a problem, you have to acknowledge that there is a problem!

  9. Yamoah Asiedu

    It was very uncomfortable to watch Kandi sit in silence while her mother openly disrespected her fiance. Kandi is too passive in this situation. She needs to let her mother know, in the kindest and most polite way possible, that she CANNOT DISRESPECT TODD IN THEIR HOUSE. Didn’t they purchase the house together? (in cash=SWAG!)
    All that is needed is clear boundaries and FAST. Kandi can do this.
    Poor Todd, he barely even got to eat the specially prepared meal before his appetite disappeared.
    Kandi needs to handle this situation.

    • Twilly

      Yeah if she’s hoping for it to go away on it’s own, she’s in for a very long wait. It needs to be HANDLED.

    • Vivaladiva

      I thought that was odd too. Surely it had to be for cameras…even if she didn’t want to “Stand up” to mama Joyce she at least could have said “let’s not do this.” I did feel bad for Todd. If my husband was being talked to (or boyfriend, fiancé, some kind of significant other) like that by my mother I would stop the conversation. All she had to say was “please don’t do this.”

      • If Todd was MY son…me and Joyce would have to have a grown woman conversation. She was sooo disrespectful and like Todd, my son would be too much of a gentleman to put her in her place, so Joyce let’s do lunch LOL! It is Kandi’s responsibilty, but she’s a wimp.

  10. lori

    Kandi needs to grow a pair. If I were Todd, I would be beyond pissed at Kandi. Her sitting there laughing blew my mind. When she said it’s harder on her than Todd, I totally disagree. Todd can’t stand to to Mama Joyce, Kandi is the one who has to, which we can all see she doesn’t do at all. People like that drive me mad. She needs to take a lesson from Cynthia on this one. If I were him, seeing the way she is handling this would make me not even want to be with her. She just doesn’t have his back. In the middle of mama Joyce’s attack on him, she’s all “I’m gonna go get the pie”. WTF?

  11. if that was my mother I would nicely put her in her place…but that’s me and I had a very close relationship with my mom..mama Joyce sorry to say is one bitter controlling bitch…the impression I get off her is she’s all about the money and the lifestyle her daughter’s talent and hard work has provided her..she is afraid the money training will stop if her daughter marries anyone…not just Todd..she pushed AJ out..idk what the seaboard with Riley’s father but Kandi needs to tell her mom like it is and she can do it respectfully.. management is all up in Todd’s business in regards to money etc seems to new he has steady work and no problem contributing… I hope Kandi wakes up because like Todd said you are going to lose a good man cuz of your management and the only thing that will keep you company at night is your bedroom kandi line

  12. misscologirl

    I agree with everyone’s statements above. Also, Kandi’s mom seemed to be under the influence…pills or liquor or something.

  13. Angel

    Todd is never going to have peace and a good marriage or cohabitation with Joyce alive. Kandi lets her rude, ignorant mother run her mouth against him in their home. I think she will always be trouble because Kandi is a wimp to her. Joyce even disrespects herself being such an ass.

    Todd should run for his life and dump Kandi. Find a woman that loves him enough to stand up for him to anyone.

  14. guccinara

    I wonder if Kandi offered to give a large portion of her wealth away to charity and bring herself to a level below Todd, would he stick around? It seems like having this money is not helping her. its unfortunate but in life when the man is not the main breadwinner it can cause issues (yes i know its nearly 2014 but its the truth). it does seem like todd is putting up with A LOT to stay with Kandi, is it because he really loves her and she is an amazing lady? Kandi cant tell her mum to get lost but maybe she does need to keep the 2 people seperate. just keep mama joyce away from her relationship and not discuss anything with her – either that or hasnt Todd got any nice uncles he could hook her up with?

  15. jasmine

    Kandi should not get married anytime soon. Her mother will always be a source of contention between Kandi and Todd. A woman should never emasculate a man; particularly in public and certainly not her mother. Kandi’s house is her domain and anyone and I do mean anyone who comes into your domain does not have the right to disrespect you. If they do, they must leave.

    I don’t think Kandi has fully given her heart to Todd. When a woman is truly in love she becomes fiercely protective and Kandi has not protected Todd. My opinion based on what’s shown on the show. Kandi is missing the point. Kandi from what has been reported a self-made woman. She didn’t come from wealth. She has worked harm for what she has and spreading the wealth responsibly brings more wealth. Kandi will take care of her mother and if she wants Todd to enjoy the fruit of her labor, so what. How would the mother react if the roles were reverse? Kandi just say, Mom, I love you, but let me be the woman you raised me to be and trust in my decisions. If I mess up, it’s called life lesson. Learn the lesson and move on.

    As adults there are moments when we have to step back and let them realize we are adults.

  16. JustSaying

    Joyce’s behavior this season is disappointing. I thought she was a quiet, smart, well-mannered lady who brought up a hard-working, talented daughter with equally good manners. This season, Joyce is acting like a bully and an arrogant fool. I suspect that this is the real Joyce, because Kandi seems to have a lot of practice putting up with it, walking away from it, trying to laugh it off. I did see the message hit home, though, when Todd told her, “this isn’t funny”. Kandi seems frugal and conservative with her money (smart lady), and it seems as if these last two years, she’s finally investing in some nice things for herself – the new house, the new studio/office, and Joyce gets the original house (and a remodel/redecoration). Perhaps that’s what’s making Joyce show her ass on national TV? In the next episode preview, Joyce gets up and acts like she’s ready to fight Carmon at the bridal shop – is she drunk, demented, or just a jerk? Carmon has been around for years, one of Kandi’s good friends, and Joyce accuses her of messing with Todd? That makes no sense. Todd has a good job, professional respect, he loves Kandi and he’s willing to sign a pre-nup. Joyce should be happy and hope for new grandbabies.

  17. diamondgigi

    I hear all that kandi is saying about respecting her mom, but Kandi is missing the flip side of this that mom too much respect kandi and her man. Maybe kandi is so used to MJ’s attitude and treatment but that does not mean her man has to accept it. She needs to be careful because Todd will slip right through her hands at the hands of her mom.

  18. Pre1

    Whether real/scripted, this is one of very few reality shows I watch other than Tia/Tamera’s show. But I actually like Todd. And Kandi needs to keep him, seems like a good man. She shouldn’t want to mess up a good thing because of her mother’s insecurities. Always love mom, but live your life. The same way we only get one mother, we only get one life. Best wishes for Kandi, she seems to just want a family, and someone to hold her at night. I see no problem!

  19. Katrina

    Kandi and Todd will be on the next “Thicker than Water” with the Tankards.

  20. hearMeOut

    MJ needs a man. She has too much time to focus on Kandi and Todd. I find it odd that she didn’t like Kandi’s last man and he faded into the wild blue yonder. He was killed. Yeah, I said it! Watch out for Momma Joyce.

  21. bunniecarrot

    @nick child hush!!!! Todd doesn’t have a good job??? He met Land I while he was working for the production company on rhoa!!!!!! Shut up. And just because your mother gave birth to you does not entitle said mother to your money for the rest of your lives. It is a parent’s job to provide food and shelter for their child dummy. The child did not ask to be here. Just because there are more absentee and negligent parents does not mean we throw a parade for the ones who are doing the basics of parenting. Aj was not my type of guy for reasons you stated but did you HEAR Land I say her mother does this with EVERY GUY???? and if my memory is correct Joyce still isn’t divorced to her husband who she separated from 16 years ago!!!! So why take advice from her. And lastly TODD AGREED to A PRENUP. READING and LISTENING is fundamental dummy. So yes you do cut anyone off who is trying to steal your joy

    • hearMeOut

      Amen @bunniecarrot. Kandi tried to explain to her mom, she wasn’t in search of a man with $. If she found one she could bond with great, but those she’s been exposed to came with their own drama, egos etc.

      Mom is protecting her own interests. Kandi’s employee (what’s his name) explained it well. He plainly stated he’s afraid of what might happen to him and the money he’s receiving. And, things often change when someone new enters the picture. Mom should just say it, she doesn’t want to lose her place at the table. She may have to get a job! Kandi doesn’t have to cut her off, just set some ground rules.

  22. hearMeOut

    Those of us from “the old school” were taught, its now what you say or do, its how its said of done. Kandi should kiss mom on the cheek, give her a big hug and tell her “I got this mom, shush.”

  23. Mango

    Kandi’s got herself a toxic mother and she’s so enmeshed with Mama J she can’t perceive how damaging their relationship actually is. Her mother seems disturbed to me. Like, no-joke-disturbed and if Kandi doesn’t wise up she will lose this relationship and any other she tries to have as an adult woman, and not Mama J’s extension.

  24. Tracie

    Hi, Tamara.

    Do you think this situation is staged and scripted? What would Kandi’s storyline be if this is not going on? It seems odd to me because Mama Joyce seemed to like Todd last season and it seemed genuine. Just curious.

  25. Katrina

    They did not show Mama Joyce that much last season. Nobody had a problem with Mama Joyce bashing and intetfering with AJ. At least Mama Joyce is consistent. When did Carmen become Kandi’s day to day assistant? Mama Joyce is Kandi’s storyline! I’m not convinced that Kandi wants to get married. I think she is content living with Todd.

  26. terry macon

    When we love someone we want to protect them. Kandi your fans love you
    And it pain us to see how she do not trust you and dispect your house and Todd. Take your mom off the show!!!! We went through this with A.J. and if Joyce had been a little more kind to him your time together every minute would have been wonderful. Good Luck, and God Bless

  27. Jenniefromtheblock

    I threw my back out doing exercise. Haha. So, Im up. Reading some of the recaps. Im not a faithful TV viewer. Thats why I like coming here to enjoy your musings n read your thoughts. Kandi’s Mom is lonely. Shes use to being in control. If Kandi gets married, she loses her control. Kandis Mom needs to immerse herself in Therapy n find ways to find some fulfillment. She right now looks like a bitter ol hen…who enjoys cackling with the other ol bitter hens. Not a good thing to be. If they knew everything…then wouldnt they too be happy and fulfilled in their own lives. I find that older people have selective memories when it comes to their own lives. She needs to live n let live. Kandi is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. Its her life and her choices. Good or bad decisions…..the choics are hers to make. I get that as a Mother we want to protect our childre n at all costs. When they are adults we have to be hands off. We can give advice, its up to them to take heed. HANDS OFF MOMMA JOYCE! Momma Joyce needs to find a man. Shes not helping herself with Men by Making herself appear crazy, violent n controlling. Find your own happiness Momma Joyce. You can do it. :)

  28. terry macon

    I am going to stick with Kandi on this one, It is better to walk away and pray than to be disrespectful she will as I did get a chance to speak with her mom
    Before her mom pass. We as Children were taught the tenth commendments, lots of adults still have that problem with their parents.

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