Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 Recap


We are back where we left off on Tuesday with Lisa pissed off and hiking up her fake boobies to prepare for round two with Joanna. Lisa is mad that Joanna’s make-up artist called her all kinds of names, including whore.  Joanna seems to be implying that the reason Lisa can’t get pregnant is because she “parties too much.” So I was thinking drinking. But Lisa herself seems to defending herself against something more serious, yet unspoken. Interesting.

Lisa and Joanna apparently spoke on the phone the night before the reunion and promised each other not to hit below the belt. In other words, don’t go there. Alexia points out how ridiculous it is to call each other and get your stories straight before the reunion. Then Lisa pops out with, “What happened to that necklace that Romain bought you last season?” Joanna says she traded it in for a smaller diamond. (huh? who does that?) Lisa says it’s B.S. that it was a loaner for the show. Lisa has taken issue in the past with all of Lea’s loaners saying that Lenny has actually bought all of hers.

Lisa says she has heard that Joanna is a hooker. Andy says from who? I respond to Andy, “Um, the entire Internet? Including places that rate such services.” Joanna says she would love to meet whoever said that and Lisa says, “Oh you have met her, you are friends with her!” BOOM!  Adrianna pipes up to say that she had received a call from a Polish reporter… Joanna interjects, “Marta! Yes I know I am suing her right now!”….Adrianna continues that you (Joanna)  had been on several websites (I assume she is referring to porn sites) and that Joanna is an escort and a fraud in every way. The reporter says that Joanna’s home in L.A. is not owned by her but by a corporation. These houses and their homes owned by corporations.


Marysol comes out and Andy asks about Mama Elsa. I was under the impression that she got better during filming.  Marysol said she has good days and bad days and today was not a great day. Marysol cries. She says she tried to explain that she was going to the reunion today and that Mama Elsa did not understand what that was. Marysol seems to be overdoing the emotions a bit, but she is hormonal.

The topic changes to Lea and Mama Elsa’s relationship. And asks Marysol if she thinks Lea is malicious? Marysol says that she thinks Lea will do anything to anyone to justify herself.

Lea says she called all the hospitals trying to locate where Elsa was and she was not checked in anywhere under her name. So she emailed Marysol and said that of course she cared about her and would visit her often if only someone would tell her where she was. This was one of those rip out a sheaf of papers for proof moments.

Marysol says that Lea pretended to care about Mama Elsa because she got film time and as soon as she was in the hospital, Lea did not reach out to her for two months. Sounds about right to me.

Oh Lord. Marysol’s father is in the hospital now too, and he had some sort of spine surgery. Marysol has  seen Lea’s sheaf of papers and upped her a video message on an Ipad of dear old dad laying in a hospital bed. Kidding not. Andy’s jaw hits the ground. The video says, “I am very upset about that Lea lying all the time. She went into the hospital March 5th and came out May 5th and never heard anything from Lea.” Look I am team Marysol and team Elsa and could give a fig about Lea. But this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen on a reunion show. Marysol’s  dad is in the hospital recovering from major spinal surgery, and Marysol is going to shove an iPad in his face and have him make a video for her TV show about people he has never even met? Ladies and gentleman, we have reached a new housewives low.  And frankly, I did not think we could go any lower. Congrats, Marysol! You have exceeded my expectations.

The Marysol brings up the video that was made at Lea Black’s how where some random asshole kid that Lea associates with made a YouTube making fun of Mama Elsa face while Lea’s classic cackle is heard in the background at her LA home. Once again, Marysol plays the video of Lea’s friend mocking Elsa Patton on the iPad.  Lea lists some comedians that were there doing impressions. She swears she did not see that particular one, and that is not her laugh. Sidenote: no other videos were uploaded from all of the other comedians who were there doing impressions. No other people were seen in the video in question.


Lisa having fun in Vegas

Lisa having fun in Vegas

Lisa wants to have a baby. Blah Blah, Blah.  Lisa tries to justify her behavior in Vegas after writing two different blogs about it. One of the girls just want to have fun variety and the next about how embarrassed she was and apologizing to her family and her husband. In this version of Lisa’s story about her behavior in Vegas, the tactic seems to be to ignore her shitfaced pole-dancing behavior and imply that Alexia has no personality or perhaps tones it down on TV because of Herman.  Um, noe. Perhaps she TRYING TO ACT LIKE A RESPECTABLE WIFE ON NATIONAL TV AND NOT EMBARRASS HER FAMILY!

Andy is asking all sorts of questions about Peter’s dad.  Apparently, he only served 4.5 years of his 25 year sentence for drugs. Wow. Alexia says they have become close since Frankie’s accident and that he lives in the Miami area.  And now we are back to the Lea said Peter should face the consequences for his actions regarding hitting the homeless man and being stupid enough to film it and post it on the Internet. I get Alexia is his mother, but there is really no defending that behavior. Lea saying he should do some jail time for that is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Behaviors have consequences. Peter and Frankie are both doing much better.

On to Lea’s trip to Texas. Lea seems to think that Alexia threw her under the bus all season. Which is crazy because all the other ladies thought all season that Alexia was playing both sides.  In actuality, Alexia was just behaving in a civilized manner as much as the uncivilized situations would allow.

Andy pits the gringas versus the Cubans. Then the cries of racism start and I tune out.

Adrianna and Joanna argue one more time about whose husband is the gayest (though call with the whole French thing, but clearly it’s Romain) and about Romain’s alleged erectile dysfunctions. Joanna loses her shit and screams that Romain has “a big-assed penis and it’s hard!” Joanna wants Romain’s penis all the time. Joanna uses her pinky to describe Frederic’s penis (again, he is French, that’s probably accurate.)

And…. it’s a wrap!


Filed under Ana Quincoces, Andy Cohen, Bravo, Bravo Andy, Elsa Patton, Filming Real Housewives of Miami, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, Mama Elsa, Marysol Patton, News, Real Housewives of Miami, RHOM

36 responses to “Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2 Recap

  1. Urethra Franklin

    The recorded “testimony” of a hospital bed stricken geriatric via iPad was appalling. I don’t want anyone to see me when I’m having a blah day, much less in a hospital gown…. Hookers, affairs, drugs, barren uterus’, felons, limp dicks, & fame whore make-up artists made this one TACKYPALOOZA.

    • Buck Henry

      I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I don’t think Ramon and Joanna are as flush as they try to potray. Also I knew those houses weren’t hers, it didn’t make sense. How could she afford the upkeep, and then finding out a corporation owns it. What corporation I would like to know.

  2. Gingersnap

    I don’t think that was Lea’s laugh on the video. Lea has a very distinctive and SUPER annoying laugh. She has this weird trilling, warbling thing going on with it. The laugh on the video wasn’t terrible enough to be Lea’s. Sorry, desperado Marysol. Yeppers, Marysol made housewife history with the most desperate attempt to stay relevant EVER. Gawd. Sometimes there are no words. I never really liked Marysol anyway, she always seemed kinda weasel-ish, and her face is really big…or something.

    Joanna is a low down, skanky, lying, hussy if there ever was one. She has a beautiful face, but she is a liar through and through. Her eyes ooze with ugly. The windows to her soul are ugly. She’s ugly and I hope Romain has a limp pen-is for a long, long time. That’s a good hell for her.

    • peachteachr

      Gingersnap, if you go to youtube and hear the original video made in Lea’s home, it does sound exactly like her to me. Add to that, her earlier behavior towards other housewives, think Joe Francis, it is in her wheelhouse to laugh at other’s discomfort.

  3. therealdeb

    i am a bit stumped by lisa, she likes to play the victim but she loves to attack people for not seeing things her way. there is a reason her mother in law doesn’t like her, i think it’s because she is a snot. joanna, she is a ho, we know it, whatever, but i do not think she was out of line to say that anbout lisa and her partying. if she were to stop that and maybe gain a few pounds her body may be able to handle a prenancy. i think alexia is the middle of the road girl, she calls it like she sees it but not in a shitty way. she will call out someone she cares about when they are doing wrong, he blind spot is her son peter and i guess that is to be expected. adrianna, wow, that is all that comes to mind. she is so pissed she had been found out and her lies and playing games is out and she wants to shoot the one person who supported her. marasol, ugh, she annoys me, to much drama, way to much. this was the dirtiest reunion show i have ever seen, i ahve seen them all and wondered what new low we could get, well we got it. i have a feeling this franchise is done.

  4. pfffttt

    The RHOM have the best reunions. I really like RHOM. I love Marysol, and was glad to see she is standing up to herself. Lea trashed her business all last season, and suddenly Marysol is the bad guy for dishing it back this season? Lea can dish it, but she can’t take it.

  5. It’s asinine how Andy just lets them game the system and admit to it right on the show. If it’s reality TV, they’re not supposed to be calling each other to decide what’s on and off limits. Just like when Jill talked about how she essentially faked the feud with Bethenny for ratings and Andy was all “I told you it wasn’t a good idea” instead of “we put an end to it immediately”

    Christ, at least let me try to think there’s a modicum of reality being portrayed. No wonder bitch got fired.

    • Lydia

      I enjoyed watching part 2 of the RHOM reunion. It was hella entertaining! It highlighted how deluded and pompous some of these cast mates are. From my seat, Adriana is trashy, Joanna is shifty, (I would not be surprised if her ex clients try to cash in, IF THEY HAVE CONCRETE EVIDENCE) Lisa is so childish, Lea is above the drama while being in the centre of it. That is a skill worth having! Despite being indifferent to her all season, Alexia now seems normal, grounded and level headed. I’m surprised. I have no words for Marysol other than she is vile. Who on earth would use her PR services now?

  6. P.S. If Marysol’s appearance was an audition to come back as a full housewife next year, she failed. Tried way too hard with the iPad thing and it came off as hopelessly desperate. I like her, but that bit didn’t work.

  7. Tara C.

    I was hoping Lisa or Adrianna would slap that smug smirk off JoAnnas face! Disgusting! I hope Lisa realizes Joanna isn’t capable of being a real friend. And I’m sorry, but why aren’t romain and Joanna having sex like Rabbits? They are both extremely hot? Very odd.

    • therealdeb

      i think all 3 were out of line and lisa really needs to focus on getting pregnant and not on deciding what everyone needs to do to fix their issues with each other. as for joanna and romain and their sex life, there are some people who really aren’t very sexual. they could take it or leave it. i have a friend like that, she thinks that real intimacy is in the mind and not “rutting”. she is a little different but she and her husband appear to have an awesome marriage.

      • JrLeaguer

        Good points. I did not realize that Joanna and Romain had been together for six years until she mentioned it on the reunion. It looks like she “married” him (for a story line) in spite her constant whining about the lack of sex. Not like it is a recent development in their relationship. I do not know about him, but with all of their time apart and his lack of interest, I bet Joanna is hitting it while she is traveling.

    • Looks don’t have much to do with sexual chemistry; Roman and Joanna just don’t have it. She is too cold, masculine, and aggressive. Roman said in their therapy session that he wanted her to be more feminine, but Joanna hasn’t changed. It’s possible for a man to be around a model and be turned off by her personality and behavior.

  8. JrLeaguer

    I thought the iPad was a bit desperate, but knowing Andy and Bravo…it was probably product placement. Lisa needs to not discuss her sex life or lack thereof on camera. You do not throw your spouse under the bus for camera time. I do not include Joanna and Romain in this rule because I think they have an understanding and that their “marriage” is only for the Bravo cameras. Cue the Howard Johnsonesque venue with a “runway”…not an aisle and her Fredricks of Hollywood Hooker Collection wedding gown.I think that she does not actually have anything on Lisa, but yelling out, “You don’t want me to go there!” 20 times in less than a minute made her sound intimidating. Her face was just pure evil every time the camera panned to her no matter who was speaking. Lea just sits back and lets everyone hang themselves and whips out documents from time to time. I too was hoping that Adrianna would slap the smirk off of Joanna. I think that Adrianna is channeling Kenya and not always able to keep the lies straight. Alexia needs to pull in the reins on her wannabe gangbanger. If her mother IS a psychiatrist, then she know that Lil’ Tony Montana needs SERIOUS help…even if she is a psychologist, she knows that kid needs help ASAP…not a few one on ones with grandma.

    • soncee

      Well “JrLeager” I think your comment is hylariusly on-point and Tamara should have included it in the “HiJinks”section of her recap!

    • alessa

      Totally agree with you on all points. Although I should add, I don’t really see why Alexia’s mother being a psychiatrist has to do with anything. Does she want to give him medication or something? She hasn’t been trained in psychology or psychotherapy– she’s technically an MD who prescribes psych meds, so she doesn’t really know any more about what’s going on with him than anyone. Unless Alexia is confusing psychiatrist with psychologist?

      • JrLeaguer

        Hi~ Alexia kept saying over and over during the season that her mother is a psychiatrist which would be an MD degree whereas a psychologist is a PhD and does not have the extensive educational and clinical training that a psychiatrist has. I know that what we see is just a sliver, but he may need some medication while dealing with anger and what are in my opinion some depression issues. I guess that my main point was that her little thuglette needs to be treated by a mental health professional that is NOT a family member. :)

      • Lydia

        Her little thuglette? Love it!

    • I think you are a moron. Who are you to diagnose anyone??? Medication??? Jesus you have some fucking nerve.

      • JrLeaguer

        I will not stoop to calling you names. I was not trying to diagnose anyone, simply giving some thoughts on possible reasons for Peter’s behavior. Opinions are like assholes…we all have them.

  9. Xanadude

    I agree, the Miami ladies always have the best reunions. It’s like they save up most of the ill will and let it explode at the reunion.
    Totally not a fan of Lea at all, and, yes, I DO think that cackle on the video is hers.
    Joanna just keeps devolving. I have the feeling she may soon reach Giudice/Staub levels of hideousness.

  10. michelle

    I seem to recall seeing that video side by side with photos of Lea’s home and the furniture and lighting in both were a match. I think I sent you that link months ago. I’m kinda getting burned out of all the housewives across the board. Most of these woman are willing to sell out their families friendships and integrity for fame and what Bethenny refers to as “a Brand”. Getting pathetic already. Love you Tamara and I enjoy your blogs whether I’m watching or not. Loving Urethra’s Coven blogs as well.

    • I know that someone sent me the video way back when it happened. I thought I talked about it here, but I think I must have decided not to post much about it because it was so rude to Marysol’s mother. The house was MOST DEFINITELY Lea’s LA house. Lea even admitted as much on the reunion. And it sure sounded like her laughing to me. Who has some little nobody twink (not some real comedian as she wants us to believe) making YouTubes in their home and doesn’t know they are doing it? This is YET ANOTHER one of Lea’s creepster friends.

  11. karen (@kreim)

    I do not care about Joanna’s past – she and Lea are the only ones I like on the show. I can not stand Myrsol and Adrianna.

  12. Alexia is a goddess. I’m surprised in how low Marysol was to have her dad record a video as he’s on his death bed. Wow. I’m not sure if I would use the word “entertaining”, but they definitely rivalved NJ as having one of the most intense reunions ever.

  13. Alexia sounds foolish a lot of the time. That is what made the second part of the reunion boring, it was a lot of her contradicting herself. One second she believes Lea and the next second she believes what her friends tell her about Lea. Joanna was so cruel to Lisa. If you are going to tweet about your “friends” drinking then you are not friends. I think it was an attempt on her part to stay relevant because it makes no sense to turn on someone who was just in your wedding. I don’t think Joanna is jealous of Lisa, she just clearly does not respect the unemployed housewife. I liked Adriana, I really did, but that whole thing with Lea was just shady. While Lea has some shady friends, Adriana did seem to manipulate her with her “single mother” story (this is coming from someone who really like Lea). Marysol was reaching yet again in the reunion to stay relevant. Her argument made no sense and I swear Bravo keeps her on just for Mama Elsa.

  14. Charlotte

    I think Marysol is using desperate attempts to stay on the show too. That nonsense with her dad? What was that about? Lisa is a little shallow, but there is a sweet soul underneath all the plastic surgery. Joanna really behaved vile toward her.

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